Don't Ever Forget
by kyla713
Summary: Sequel to Anything but Conventional. With an everlasting love, they say good bye. Will their love be enough to endure the distance and all the hardships along the way? AH/OOC
1. Nine Weeks of Hell

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, but Armyward is allllllll mine.**

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**Chapter 1 ~ Nine Weeks of Hell**

_September 30_

_Dear Bella,_

_As usual, I don't have as much time as I would like to write, with a 0430 wake up call in the morning. But I got your letter yesterday and I am __**so**__ proud of you, as Charlie must be as well. I wish I were going to be home for that, but I will most definitely be thinking about you._

_I miss you more than you could possibly know, baby. __Only__twelve more days_ _to go until I can come home and I am counting them down. I can't wait to be able to hold you and kiss you again, and tell you how much I love you. More than just words on paper, they just never seem to be enough._

_Hope to hear from you again soon and I'll see you before you know it. I love you._

_Love,_

_Edward_

I lay back on my bed, clutching the simple lined stationary to my chest and smiled.

It had been more than two months since I walked out of that bus depot that carried Edward away to Fort Leonard Wood for nine long weeks. And as the days drew closer to his return – even if only for a couple of weeks – the longer they seemed to take to pass, causing my heart to ache more for him than the day before.

Yet days like today, when I would come home from school to find a now _very _pregnant Alice sitting on the front step, waving a plain white envelope with Edward's script on it, made it all worth it. His messages were never very long, but he always said so much in those few words.

_I'm __**so**__ proud of you._

I felt a tear slide down my temple as I continued smiling at the ceiling. If he'd said nothing else in that letter, it still would have been enough.

Last month, I had submitted a piece of my artwork to a statewide competition – through much coercing by Charlie and Edward – and shortly thereafter, I was notified that it would be proceeding to the final round.

The day I sent my last letter to Edward, I had received the news that my piece had won first place and would be displayed in downtown Seattle for the ceremony on November 11, celebrating the anniversary of Washington becoming a state.

Unfortunately, Edward would already be gone again by then, but his pride in my accomplishment radiated off the paper.

I finally turned my head toward my nightstand, which now housed several small frames with different pictures of me and Edward. But the most recent addition was by far my favorite.

The very first letter I had received from him after his departure contained this picture of him, sitting on a set of stairs in his fatigues and smiling at the camera. The very first noticeable thing in the picture was the absence of his hair, buzzed short and somehow making him appear so much older. I'd thought I would hate it, but as I stared at his eyes and his smile, I couldn't find him anything but devastatingly gorgeous.

He was happy, and that was the most important aspect to me.

"Staring at the hottie again?" I heard Alice's voice from the doorway and looked up from the frame in my hand where I was tracing his face with my fingertip.

I bit my lip and shrugged slightly. "I just miss him."

With her hand bracing her back, she waddled over to her bed on the opposite side of the nightstand and lowered herself down. Somehow after numerous nights of me wanting to pass out early on the couch, preventing my dad from watching his games, he had figured out a way to fit another twin bed into my bedroom for Alice. It was a tight fit, but certainly more comfortable than the stiff back and limbs from the nights on the couch. And it was far more soothing with Alice nearby on the nights I would still cry a little from missing Edward, at which time she would hand me the journal he left behind for me.

"And how many more hours are left?" she teased and I playfully threw one of my pillows at her. "You're gonna miss me when I'm gone, you know."

I released a sad breathy laugh and nodded. I had become so accustomed to having Alice around for the last few months; it was going to feel empty around here without her. "I know. Poor Charlie is going to go through withdrawals. I'm afraid for him, really."

"I'm going to miss you, too, Bella," she replied with a soft smile and reached out her hand for mine. I took it gently and dodged the box in-between our beds to sit next to her. "But it's not like you're never going to see me again. You and Charlie have been so amazing, and I never want either of you to think I'm ungrateful for everything you have done for me. And him."

Her hand ran slowly over the swell of her stomach and I brought mine to rest of the other side. A sudden kick beneath my hand caused us both to laugh and I shook my head. "I'm afraid I am with Jasper. This little one is too feisty to be a boy, especially Jasper's kid. Too much like her mother."

She flicked my forehead with her finger and I chuckled, resting my head on her shoulder. Her hand gently rubbed my arm and we sat quietly for several minutes until I gazed down at the paper in my hand. "Besides, your Army man will be home soon. You'll barely notice I'm gone."

"He'll only be here for less than two weeks, Alice," I replied sadly. While excited about finally seeing Edward again, after what had already felt like an eternity, I knew that for quite some time to come, each 'hello' would bring with it the inevitable goodbye. And I couldn't imagine how it would ever become easier, routine.

Alice gave me a gently squeeze, hugging me against her side. "But you'll still have him here for thirteen days, and you'll make every moment count. Distance makes the heart grow fonder… or something like that."

"What if he's changed, Alice?" I whispered softly, still looking down as I voiced one of my biggest fears aloud for the first time. I'd heard so many stories of the military changing people, though not always for the worse. Would he still be my Edward? Who would be there to greet me when I went to meet him at the airport in a week?

"Bella, don't do this to yourself. He's still Edward and he still loves you," she replied, hugging me tighter. "What did he say?"

I lifted my head to look at Alice, her eyes flickering to the folded paper in my hand and back up to me. Although I never showed her the letters themselves, we always talked about them right after I read them. The actual words on the paper felt far too personal to me to share them with anyone else. Giving her a brief summary – even briefer than the letter itself – her smile grew and I couldn't help but join her.

"See? Still sounds like the Edward we all know and love. Completely wrapped around this tiny little finger right here," she chuckled, lightly pinching my right pinkie finger.

My father's voice echoed up the stairs calling for her and we glanced at each other, both of us giving a heavy sighs.

"It's time," she said softly, giving my hand another light squeeze and leaning down to grab to the box at her feet.

"Alice, what are you doing?" I exclaimed, snatching the box from her hand and earning the infamous 'I'm _pregnant_ not _porcelain_' look that Jasper often fell victim to. "Don't give me that look. You remember what Dr Weber told you, right? _No _heavy lifting from now until the baby is born."

"It's not _that _heavy," she huffed before pushing herself up off the bed and walking toward the door.

"Yeah, let's just see what Jasper has to say about that," I replied knowingly as she rolled her eyes and began mumbling something under her breath about even _kittens_ being too heavy.

Jasper had impressed me far more than I ever expected in the last few months since finding out that Alice was pregnant. He had immediately found a job and saved everything he earned while still living with his parents to secure an apartment for them. He'd been to every doctor's appointment and even came at a moments notice a few weeks back when Alice began feeling some contractions. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that he would take good care of her and be an amazing father.

"And I doubt very much if Charlie could handle a baby being born in his living room," I teased her, prompting her to look over her shoulder and stick her tongue out at me.

"Hey, how are my girls today?" Jasper beamed the moment he saw Alice coming down the stairs toward him.

When she reached the bottom, she pointed her finger at each of us, even Charlie. "You all are going to be feeling really ridiculous in a few more weeks when this baby has boy parts."

We all laughed and Charlie shook his head. "I'm telling you, sweetheart. You are carrying exactly the way Bella's mom did. That's a girl in there."

Handing the box to Jasper, I smiled at my father and took his hand. We still had our bad days when it came to talking about my mom, with his weekly visits to his counselor and drudging up years that for so long he would have rather just as soon forgotten. Yet, it definitely wasn't every time he spoke of her anymore. He actually bore a genuine smile at times when he recalled the happy memories with her, and shared more with me that I couldn't remember on my own, being so young at the time. And Alice living with us these past few months had brought forth memories from him that had never been discussed before that night in our living room. The tears in her eyes of having disappointed Charlie that morphed into a look of admiration as he told her of his experiences and they continued this way for weeks to come.

"Ready to go home, baby?" Jasper said softly and Alice nodded, moving forward to hug me as best she could and then turned to Charlie.

"Thank you, Charlie. For everything," she said emotionally with tears welling in her eyes, and then released a breathy laugh. "Stupid hormones."

Charlie chuckled and pulled her against his side, kissing her forehead. "Anytime. Don't be a stranger now."

"I won't, I promise," she whispered, resting her head against his chest. "We still have Sundays, remember?"

Jasper and I both groaned in unison, having spent so many days in my kitchen, listening to the excited rantings from Alice and Charlie in the living room. We'd both been grateful for football season finally starting, reducing it to once a week.

He leaned toward my ear and mumbled. "She's going to turn my daughter into a sports freak, with no small amount of help from your dad. Mark my words."

Both Alice and Charlie turned to glare at us, and I bit my lip to restrain the laugh. "If you want to survive the next few weeks, I would advise not angering it."

"There is nothing wrong with our child being well rounded, regardless of gender, and _you _shut up," Alice quipped with her hands on her hips, her eyes narrowed at both me and Jasper.

"Yes, baby," Jasper replied with a smile, kissing her cheek before turning to my dad. "Thank you, sir. I really appreciate all that you and Bella have done for me and for Alice."

"Just take good care of her, son. _Both _of them," Charlie replied, patting his shoulder yet still keeping the stern 'dad look' in his features.

Jasper nodded and headed toward the door as Charlie held it open for him. Alice and I followed behind them and I stifled a chuckle behind my hand, causing her to glance over at me questioningly.

"And who has _who _wrapped around her little finger?" I whispered and she nudged me gently with her elbow before I took it to help her down the front stairs. "I think you have both of them occupied pretty tightly with these two."

She laughed as I nodded toward the two men, who were now shaking hands outside of Jasper's truck. They both held on to Alice as they hoisted her up into the seat, and then my dad and I stepped back as she pulled the door closed.

"I'll see you soon," Alice said as she rolled down the window and then pointed to Charlie. "You and me. Sunday. One o'clock sharp."

"You got it, kiddo. Don't hesitate to call if you need anything," he replied, clearing his throat to mask his emotions as Alice nodded and Jasper began backing out of the driveway. We stood for a moment quietly after the truck disappeared until Charlie suddenly broke the silence. "It's gonna be strange to have it so quiet here again, huh?"

I turned my head to look at him to find him gazing up aimlessly at the sky. "Well, you know, if you'd like me to become a rowdy teenager to add some noise to the house, I'm sure I could accommodate."

Charlie laughed and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, hugging me against him. "No, you're perfect just the way you are, Bells," he replied affectionately, but still never made any motion to move back toward the house. "I will say one thing about you two. You chose a couple of really good boys. Both of you."

I glanced up at him and he smiled down at me, gently kissing my hair. It shouldn't have surprised me to hear him say this, with the numerous occasions he had mentioned his respect for Edward and Jasper over the past several weeks, and commenting on what 'fine young men' they were becoming. Yet it never ceased to amaze me, considering Alice and Jasper's situation being far from ideal, and the events of last December with me and Edward. I honestly believed that he would never recover from that, and Alice had quickly become like a second daughter to him.

"Thanks, Dad. Come on, I'll go start dinner so you can get to work and I can finish that essay for English," I said, tugging gently on his waist and he nodded, following me inside.

I stood in the kitchen an hour later, one hand stirring the Alfredo sauce and holding the copy of 'Memoirs of a Geisha' in the other. I was so engrossed in the book that I was startled by my dad entering the kitchen, showered and in uniform, settling down at the table with his newspaper.

"Take your time, Bells," he said distractedly when I tossed my book aside and began hurrying to get his dinner ready. I glanced up at the clock and saw that he still had an hour before his new night shift started. Taking a sip from his coffee that I had set on the table for him, he spoke again, never raising his eyes from his newspaper. "So, looking forward to Edward coming home next week?"

I nodded as I plated his food and smiled. "Yeah, I am. I've missed him and it will be good to see him. And his family is very excited that he will be home for Emmett's wedding," I replied nervously as I walked over, setting our plates on the table and sitting down across from him.

"Bella," my father started, setting the paper aside and folding his hands under his chin. "I know I've been really hard on you and Edward through the course of your relationship. I realize you're growing up and I meant what I said earlier. I know you're both good kids, but I want what's best for my daughter and to know you're making responsible choices."

"I know that, Dad," I replied, twirling my pasta with my fork.

"Just be careful, okay?" he said and I raised my eyes to meet his, seeing both reluctance and acquiescence in his gaze. "I'm certainly not condoning, and truly wish you wouldn't at all. But I am not stupid enough to not know what forbidding it would do. Just please, remember that you are both still very young and have plenty of time."

"Don't worry, Dad. I am in _no_ rush for any of that, and neither is Edward. The closest you will come to becoming a grandfather _any _time soon is Alice," I smiled, reaching across the table to place my hand on his arm and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

He smiled in relief with a nod and silently resumed eating his dinner.

After cleaning up the dishes, I walked out to find my dad grabbing his gun belt and reaching for the door. "Don't forget to lock up, Bella."

"Okay, be careful," I said as he walked toward the door.

"Always am," he smirked at my daily parting ritual, never losing sight of the fact that even in a boring town such as Forks, his job was still a dangerous one. He hugged me gently and then walked down the front steps, digging his keys from his pocket as he made his way to his cruiser.

Sitting at my desk later that night and finishing up my essay, I realized completely that I was alone in the house for the first time in months. I reached for the picture of Edward that I had been staring at earlier, having since set beside my monitor. Gazing down at his face and his smile, my mind began to wander over the last eight weeks without him here.

I missed his voice and his laugh. His car parked in front of my house every morning to drive me to school. How much I despised the empty feeling of walking the halls of Forks High completely alone, since Alice had also not returned this year, opting instead for studying for her GED after the baby was born. The ceaseless harassing from everyone at school, mostly Edward's prior conquests, calling me an idiot for believing that he was really coming back while the guys simply flirted, assuming I was up for grabs. The loneliness between letters from him, but filled by the journal he left behind.

The journal that had been the only thing getting me through the never-ending days.

I set the frame down and stood to retrieve the small book from the drawer beside my bed and laid back against my pillows, reading the next entry from where I left off the night before. Once again, I could almost hear his voice as I read the words.

_Dropping you off after our date tonight made me realize something that I have been _

_trying so hard not to think about all summer. A week from tomorrow, I am leaving for_

_Basic, and while I don't regret this course of my life, I do regret that I am going to be _

_almost 2000 miles away from you and won't be seeing your face and hearing your _

_voice every day. Is it strange that I already miss you, and I'm not even gone yet? _

_While I can't believe how lucky I am to have you home waiting for me, I have to admit _

_I am also selfishly grateful for it. You are the one thing that has kept me going and _

_grounded for so long now, I can't even begin to imagine my life without you. I can only _

_hope that I become a man worth waiting for. You have so much faith and belief in me,_

_I am going try my damnedest to do everything in my power not to disappoint you and_

_make you proud. _

_I love you so much, Bella. Never forget that. You'll always be my firecracker. _

_Love,_

_Edward_

I closed the book with tears in my eyes and immediately grabbed my stationary out of the same drawer as I set the journal back inside. Staring down at the sheet in front of me, my pen began moving across it.

_Dear Edward_,

_I read an entry in the journal tonight and I knew this just couldn't wait until next week. _

_You always have and will be worth waiting for, and I have never been more proud of you than I have in the past few weeks. Even missing you as much as I do, you made a decision and followed through with it, and you're flourishing. How could I ever be anything __**but**__ proud? There is nothing you could do to make me feel anything but pride in being your girlfriend. _

_I love you, Edward. And I hope there isn't a single second that you doubt that. I can't wait to see you next Tuesday, although if I could ask one favor? I am dying to see my man in fatigues, so will you wear them? I'm counting down the days, too, baby._

_Love,_

_Bella_

Pulling an envelope out of the box, I smiled as I scrawled out PVT Edward Cullen, Fort Leonard Wood, MO, folding the letter and sliding it inside. I sealed it and placed a stamp on it, intending on throwing it in the mailbox on the way to school the next day so that it reached him before he left, and with pen still in hand, I knelt on my bed and drew added a slash across October 5.

_Eight more days to go._

"_Really_ counting the days," I murmured, sliding out of my pants and snuggling between the sheets.

**x-x-x**

Not for the first time in the weeks since Edward had been gone, I awoke in the middle of the night from an intense and extremely vivid dream of him. Reaching out and touching him, feeling his body against mine as he kissed me. This was always the worst time of the day for me. Too late to distract myself, too early to get up. And due to the lucidity of the dream, also in a state of arousal that could not be quenched for over a week... if even then.

As much as I wished I could spend every waking moment with Edward when he returned, I knew that I was not the only one who was anxiously anticipating the two relatively short weeks that he would be home. Carlisle and Esme were already preparing for their trip to Missouri for his graduation, while Emmett had made arrangements to pick me up from school to drive to the airport in Edward's car. If there was one thing I was certain of, it was that he would be dying to drive his own car again.

I would have him all to myself that night at least after dinner with his family.

But in the meantime, I could only wait.

Staring at the red blazing numbers from my alarm clock, every minute seemed to pass more slowly than the last. 3:07 AM. Still another hour before my dad would walk through the door, and he had already begun to worry once weeks ago when he would find me awake at all hours of the night. So going downstairs an alerting him to my awakened state was not an option. I could try to fall asleep, but I knew I would only be met by more dreams and that was _not _conducive to a productive school day ahead of me.

So instead, I just stared at the moonlit ceiling, ignoring the time and space around me...

It was now Tuesday... one more week until Edward came home.

**x-x-x**

_Monday, October 12th_

Mr. and Mrs. Cullen had left last night to fly to Missouri for Edward's graduation from Basic, and I was now pacing my hallway waiting for my phone to ring. They assured me that they would call as soon as they got in from the ceremony, and glancing at the clock, I saw that it was now 8:00.

_It was getting late. Where were they? _

My entire body jerked as the shrill ringing of the phone filled the air, and I hurriedly flipped it open and brought it to my ear. "Hello? How is he?"

"In one piece, last I checked."

Tears immediately began to fill my eyes and my lip began to tremble as the voice I had longed for filled the line.

"Baby? Are you there?" he asked softly, a tone of worry in his voice.

"Edward," I whispered in response, as the first wet trail trickled down my cheek. Leaning back against the wall and closing my eyes, my smile tugged at the corners of my mouth.

For nine long weeks, I had ached to hear his voice, his laugh... anything and everything I had missed so much since the day he had boarded the bus. We had agreed that his limited phone calls should be reserved for his family, but damn, had I missed this voice.

"Hey there, beautiful. How's my girl?"

I chuckled softly and tilted my head back to restrain more tears. "Missing you. _So _much. I'm just surprised, I was expecting your mom."

"Well, if you _really _want to talk to her, she's right in the next room," he teased and I rolled my eyes, but deep down, I was actually filled with relief. My fears that he would come back to me changed beyond recognition were sated.

He was still very much _my _Edward.

"Shut up," I retorted with a laugh, and slid down the wall to sit on the floor. "God, it's so good to hear your voice. I never thought I would miss it so much."

He sighed heavily and after several quiet moments, I heard the mattress groan underneath him as he moved, followed by the brush of fabric against the phone. "I've missed you so much, baby. Is it tomorrow yet?"

"I wish," I replied, pushing myself up off the floor and walked up the stairs to my room. Kicking off my shoes at the door, I made my way over to crawl under the blankets. "Then I'd be doing more than just hearing your voice."

"Really? And what would that be?" he asked in an amused tone, followed by a groan as he audibly stretched.

"Guess you'll just have to wait and see, Private Cullen," I taunted, trying to refrain a chuckle as I hugged my pillow.

"Oh, I'm gonna get you for that," he retorted in a gravelly tone and a soft giggle emitted from me. "But I'm gonna have to let you go, baby. It's been a long day, and we have to be at the airport early."

My heart sank slightly. Even though he truly did sound exhausted, I didn't want to let him go. _He'll be home tomorrow,_ I mentally chastised myself for my selfishness. "Get some sleep. I'll be waiting for you at the gate tomorrow."

"Mmm, I look forward to it," he replied in a mumble and his breathing began to slow. "I love you, Bella."

"I love you, too, Edward," I whispered into the phone as his voice began drifting as he spoke. "Good night."

"G'night."

I closed my phone, disconnecting the call and pressed it firmly to my lips. _Twenty more hours_. After all these weeks of waiting, I only had twenty hours more before I'd have him in my arms, his lips against mine, breathing and soaking him in. And yet, it still seemed an eternity away.

_Melodramatic much, Bella?_

I tossed and turned all night, unable to fall into a comfortable sleep. I was far too anxious. And finally at five, I got up and showered, even taking the time to put on some make-up and stowing it in my bag to touch up before leaving school today.

_Eleven hours more._

All through the school day, I ignored every stare and remark that had been nipping at me for the last nine weeks. Even at lunch, when Jessica Stanley and her cronies threw their routine cheap shots at me, I remained unfazed. He was coming home.

_Five hours._

When the final bell rang for the day, I sprung from my seat and raced out of the building to find Emmett parked out front in Edward's Trans Am. As soon as I climbed in, I lowered the visor and gently dabbed my finger under my eyes where the slightest bit of mascara had run over the course of the day.

"You look great, Bella. I doubt Edward will care about a little smudged mascara. The _last _thing he'll notice, if you ask me," Emmett chuckled with a wink as he shifted the car into gear and pulled out of the parking lot.

"Doesn't mean I shouldn't at least _try _to look nice, Em," I groaned in mock annoyance, nudging him lightly with my elbow.

"Women," Emmett snorted with a shake of his head and chuckled when I glared at him. "Well, you have plenty of time. We really need to haul ass if we're gonna get to Sea-Tac on time."

The two hour drive seemed never ending as I watched each mile marker fly past the window, yet still only bringing me minimally closer to Edward.

Yet as we pulled into the parking garage at the airport, I felt my nerves stirring up at seeing him again. The anxiety building, my heart pounding hard against my chest, I remained frozen in the passenger seat until Emmett startled me by opening my door.

"Come on, shorty. Don't wanna keep him waiting, now do ya?" he teased, reaching his hand out for mine and I glanced in the mirror one more time, pinching at my cheeks. He laughed one more time before taking my hand away from my face and holding it in his, pulling me up from the car. "You'll be a sight for sore eyes to him, Bella. Stop worrying so much."

He kissed the top of my head affectionately as we walked into the airport, through the throngs of people until we reached the security point. I wrapped my arms around myself, bouncing lightly on my toes as I attempted to look over the heads of the crowd.

"There's Mom and Dad," Emmett said distractedly, his eyes searching almost as fervently as mine until a wide smile broke across his face. "There he is!"

My eyes widened and wildly scanned his line of vision until I felt his hands on my waist, pulling me in front of him. A small break in the group of people in front of us alotted me the vision of everything I had been waiting for.

The green gaze.

The smile.

_The fatigues._

My nine weeks of hell were finally over.

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**Was it worth the wait? EPOV is next, so we will get into the head of our Armyward very soon. Let me know what you think :)**


	2. Nine Weeks in Hell

**Chapter 2 ~ Nine Weeks in Hell**

_Nine weeks._

For nine long weeks, the only thing I had keeping me going was a small photograph in my wallet. The same picture I was taunted over by my bunk mates, as us Army boys often do. Many of us had girlfriends back home, receiving letters and pictures, and nothing was private.

Bella had become the topic of several conversations each time I received a letter from her. Constantly being asked by them things such as 'how could I leave such a beautiful young thing behind'? How insane I was for 'choosing the Army over that.'

The fact was that even though I wished I could have it both ways, I had no regrets on this course of my life. I loved being in the Army and I felt a sense of pride in my accomplishments. Every day I grew stronger, faster.

No, it wasn't the Army that had put me in hell.

The physical absence of Bella in my life had been more unbearable than I had ever imagined. I knew it would be hard for both of us, that I would miss her smile and her laugh, the adorable way she bit her lip when she was nervous or concentrating on something. And of course, feeling her in my arms.

However, imagining it and living it, I had found to be two entirely different things.

Every night before lights out, I would stare at her picture, or read her frequent letters that I rarely had the time to reply to as thoroughly as I would have liked. I knew she understood, but I swore I would make it up to her when I got home.

One letter that I knew I needed to respond to immediately came about a week ago. The pride that filled my entire being when my girl told me about her artwork taking first place, could not be contained. I had always been in awe of her talent and feared that it would go to waste if she didn't use it. I knew Bella would be able to do amazing things with her ability to capture such beauty on paper, if she could only find the confidence.

"Cullen," I heard my name called out during mail call, and my brow furrowed as the envelope was tossed in my lap. With my impending return home in five days, I had not expected any more word from Forks before my arrival. And my instinctual response was worry. But as I looked down, a smile came to my lips as I gazed upon the familiar pink stationary and the unmistakable scrawl of my beautiful girlfriend, and I eagerly opened it.

_Dear Edward_,

_I read an entry in the journal tonight and I knew this just couldn't wait until next week. _

_You always have and will be worth waiting for, and I have never been more proud of you than I have in the past few weeks. Even missing you as much as I do, you made a decision and followed through with it, and you're flourishing. How could I ever be anything __**but**__ proud? There is nothing you could do to make me feel anything but pride in being your girlfriend. _

_I love you, Edward. And I hope there isn't a single second that you doubt that. I can't wait to see you next Tuesday, although if I could ask one favor? I am dying to see my man in fatigues, so will you wear them? I'm counting down the days, too, baby._

_Love,_

_Bella_

As I read her words, I could remember exactly which journal entry she was talking about. Our last two dates before I left were particularly hard for the both of us, but my feelings surrounding _that _date took me by surprise.

Realizing I only had one more week with her, to see her face, to hear her voice, to feel her small frame in my arms, hit me with a blinding force that night. And it took everything in me to hold it together while I was with her. The moment I pulled out of her driveway, I began to lose my composure and my chest constricted at the thought of leaving her behind in eight days time.

It was that night that concreted my decision to leave the journal with her when I left. So she wouldn't forget what she meant to me and that she was always on my mind, no matter where I was or the distance between us.

Receiving that letter from her was yet another reason I wished she hadn't insisted that I save all my phone calls for my mother. Despite my protests, this was the one thing on which she vehemently stood her ground. And I knew she was right.

Although my mother had, in her own way, come to terms with my decision and my impending departure, I couldn't argue with Bella when she said it would be much different when I was miles away.

And of course, her point was proven from the very first phone call to my mother. I could hear the anguish in her voice every time we had to say goodbye after an all too brief phone call, but I still longed to hear Bella's voice. To hear her tell me that she loved me, and to be able to reassure her of the same after a particularly hard day at school. Her letters had told me of the barrage of insults she'd had to endure from the girls, and although she never mentioned it, I was sure the guys were not much better. I was not ignorant to the fact that despite her view of herself, Bella was not an undesirable girl and my absence would bring them out in droves. That thought had my base instinct of jealousy ignited on more than one occasion. While I wasn't concerned about Bella's response to their inevitable advances, I didn't want them anywhere near her. And I knew it was also quite possible for her to become overwhelmed and there was nothing I could do to protect her from where I was.

So while I enjoyed spending the evening with my parents tonight, I could not wait to get back to the hotel and call her. It was something that I had been longing for, for nine excruciating weeks, and to say I was anxious was an understatement. I could hear both of my parents chuckle as my mother handed me her phone and I hurried into the bedroom of our suite, my impatience exuding from me.

The moment I heard her voice, all my anxiety melted away and the calming effect she always had on me took hold. I wished I could have talked to her all night, but exhaustion and an early flight demanded sleep, cutting our conversation short.

_Twenty hours_, I reminded myself as I reluctantly hung up as the line went dead. _Twenty hours until I would be with her._

I fell asleep before any other thought crossed my mind and the next thing I knew, I was being awoken from a very intense dream about Bella by my mother stroking my hair.

_Thank God I didn't kick the covers off during the night,_ I thought as I sat up, the blanket still covering the extremely prominent result of my dream.

Fortunately, it receded slightly as I woke up and showered, dressing in my fatigues as my girl had requested.

_Women and their obsession with men in uniform, _I chuckled softly as I buttoned my pants and walked out of the bathroom.

Spending all day in an airport or on a plane I found to be the most exasperating thing when where you wanted to be was still hours away. Every moment that passed was a moment I could be spending with her.

When we were finally descending into Sea-Tac Airport, I hadn't noticed my leg bouncing with anticipation until I felt my mother's hand resting gently on my knee with a knowing smile on her face.

Now standing at the security checkpoint, my eyes searched for her until they met my brother's smiling face and a moment later, she appeared in front of him. If possible, she was even more beautiful than I remembered. Her smile, the excited tears in her eyes suddenly made the last nine weeks worth the wait. And I couldn't get through this line fast enough.

The moment I was clear, she pulled away from Emmett's hold on her waist and began maneuvering through the crowd of people. I set my carry-on down on the ground as she drew near, watching her smile grow wider with each step before finally breaking into a run and jumping into my arms, knocking me back with the force of it. I buried my face in her hair as I held her tightly against me, inhaling the familiar scent of her that I had missed so much, before she pulled away slightly, meeting my lips with hers. Her tiny hands clasped my face, holding me against her as my embrace tightened around her waist. The relief washing over me to finally have her in my arms, to taste her, to feel the same emotions I was experiencing radiatie off her was so overpowering. Taking her full lower lip between mine, we both let out moans of contentment from finally being together after all this time.

_God, how I missed her._

I wanted nothing more than for this moment to last forever and never let her go again. My brother, however, had other plans.

"Alright, break it up and let me hug my brother already," Emmett teased and we chuckled against each other's lips and slowly parted.

"Always one to ruin a moment, aren't you, Em?" I laughed, kissing Bella's forehead before turning to him.

"Gotta be good for something, right?" he smirked and held his arm out to embrace me.

I took the two remaining steps toward him and felt the breath gust out of me as he gripped me tightly. While he had never said as much _out loud_, I knew my joining the Army had affected Emmett deeply, having been so close growing up. And I had to admit, if only to myself, I had missed his antics and exuberance more that I ever thought possible.

"Nice do, bro," he remarked teasingly, pulling away and rubbing his knuckles roughly over my now very short hair. "Though I'm sure Bella will disagree."

"Fuck, Emmett," I grumbled under my breath and rolled my eyes as he winked, punching his arm sharply as I caught Bella's hands covering her face in my peripheral vision.

"Boys, behave. And watch your language, young man," my mother scolded as she came up behind me, wrapping her arm around Bella's shoulders. "Let's get our bags so we can get home and feed my baby."

My eyes met Bella's as my family walked away, and leaning down to grab my bag, I held my other arm out for her. She quickly melted against my side, embracing me tightly around the waist as we began to follow.

"God, I've missed you, baby," I mumbled against her hair, enjoying the softness of it against my skin.

"I've missed you, too. _So _much," she whispered emotionally, placing a kiss on my chest over the name patch of my jacket. "Thank you."

I smiled and gently squeezed her against me. "So what do you think of your 'man in fatigues'?"

A soft moan escaped her and she brushed a soft kiss against my jaw. "It would be extremely inappropriate for me to say in such close proximity to your parents. But I'll tell you later, or maybe even _show _you."

My muscles tightened and I restrained a groan at the seductive tone of her voice.

"You are going to be the death of me, Isabella Swan," I murmured against her temple, causing her to giggle before straightening herself as we approached my family.

It seemed like an eternity standing there waiting for our luggage to come down the ramp. As soon as I retrieved mine, my parents told us to just go ahead and they would meet us at the house, having left their car in long-term parking.

The smile that came to Bella's face as she took my hand and began pulling me toward the exit was radiant. And the moment I laid eyes on my car, my hold on her hand tightened and she pulled the keys from her pocket to hand them to me. I had missed driving my baby so much, and I could not wait to be behind the wheel again.

Well, almost.

I pulled her into my arms again as we stood beside the car, resting my forehead against hers. "Can I _really _kiss you now?"

"By all means," she whispered with a soft smile, gently taking my face in her hands as my lips lowered to hers.

Pressing her back against the car, I poured the entire nine weeks of longing I had been aching to bestow upon her into the kiss. She moaned softly against me, her arms sliding around my shoulders and pulling me flush against her body. My hands gripped her sides tightly as her lips parted, teasing mine with a soft swipe of her tongue and causing me to groan as I deepened the kiss.

She raised up on her toes and tightened her hold around my neck, causing an excruciatingly amazing friction against me. After all this time away from her, I needed to put some space between us if we had any hope of getting through this evening with my parents.

Or even get out of this garage.

"God, baby," I whispered huskily against her lips as I pulled away, running my hands along her sides and kissing the tip of her nose.

"Told you I liked the fatigues," she replied, biting her lip and unsuccessfully hiding her smirk.

I leaned down and lightly grazed her neck with my teeth, causing her to yelp softly. "Get in the car."

She giggled as I pulled her against me to unlock the door and open it for her. I raced around the car to get in, anxious to get home as quickly as possible and have at least a few relaxing and quiet moments with Bella before my family arrived.

For the entire two hour drive back to Forks, her arm laced around mine and her head rested against my shoulder, placing occasional kisses on my forearm. Yet her eyes never once left me, as if she were studying and relearning every line and detail of my face. It felt so comforting to have her so close again, her scent surrounding me, her soft breaths soothing me.

I was _home._

When we finally pulled into the drive of my parents' house, I didn't even bother taking my bags out of the back and moved around the car to take Bella's hand. Once inside, I hung my jacket by the door and led her into the living room, falling back on the couch and truly relaxing for the first time in weeks.

"C'mere," I said softly, giving her hand a gentle tug and she laid down beside me, resting her head against my chest. "Damn, it's so good to be home."

Bella hummed softly as I nuzzled her hair, draping her leg over mine and tightening her hold around my waist. I closed my eyes as I felt her lips brushing soft kisses along my neck, causing me to shift slightly beside her.

"Baby," I groaned, hugging her tightly against my side. "My family isn't going to be _that _far behind us."

Her fingers pressed against my lips as she lifted up to straddle my legs and my hands ran along her thighs. She gazed at me silently for a moment before lowering her lips to mine, grinding her hips against me and causing my breath to hitch as my hands slid into the back pockets of her jeans. Pulling her firmly against me, we both panted heavily as my erection pressed against her and her tongue slid between my lips. Her fingers ran over my hair, pulling me nearer, savoring our closeness that we've been deprived of for weeks.

A car door closing outside caused us both to jump and she sat back on my legs, letting out a sigh fueled with frustration while her hands ran through her hair.

I chuckled slightly as I sat up, linking my hands behind her and kissing her gently. "We still have two weeks, baby."

"Not quite," she replied with an adorable pout on her face.

I swung my legs off the couch and lifted her up with me as I stood, setting her down with one last kiss to her forehead. "I promise, we still have plenty of time. Now, I'll be right back."

She narrowed her eyes at me, folding her arms over her chest. "That is _so _unfair."

"Brat," I teased, amused by the fact that I didn't need to specify where I was going. "Mine is a little more obvious than yours."

"It's still not fair!" she hissed in a whisper, as my brother's booming voice came through the door.

"No one is stopping you," I replied with a wink as I pulled away from her.

"Oh, no way, I don't think so. I'll wait, thanks," she said, vehemently shaking her head before placing a smile on her face.

"Where are you off to, honey?" my mother asked as I passed her in the doorway.

"Shower. I promise I'll be down before dinner," I replied, kissing her cheek and then took the stairs two at a time up to my room. It was such a surreal feeling to be back in the familiar surroundings, untouched since my departure. And far more overwhelming than I had ever expected. So many memories in this room in the few short years I'd occupied it since moving here from Alaska; and yet, all I saw was Bella.

My fingers ran lightly over the keys of my piano, remembering the awe in her face the first time I played for her. I sat down on my bed to remove my boots, playing over in my mind the first time I held her as she slept the night of her birthday party and making the decision to be anything she needed. Never would I have imagined that within a week, in this same bed, I would be making love to what had become the most important part of my existence for the first time.

At that thought, I pushed off the mattress and lifted the shirt from my body. Emptying the pockets of my pants, my fingers grasped the chain of yet another memory from that bed. I tugged it gently from my pocket and smiled at the remembrance of last Christmas, her anxious face as I pulled away the wrapping and lifted the engraved dog tags from the small box.

I kissed them gently as I set them down on my dresser and made my way into the bathroom. It was the same night I gave her the ring that still adorned her right hand. In a different time and place, it would have been placed on her other hand with an entirely different purpose. If only she were just a few years older.

From the first time I made love to her, feeling the intense connection with her and then finally telling her that I loved her, there was never another doubt in my mind that she was 'the one'. She was the only one I could ever envision making my wife, of mothering my children, of spending my life with. She was everything to me and being away from her all this time only solidified these thoughts.

She was my future.

As I stood in the shower, grasping myself firmly, images of her beside me every night as I fell asleep and every morning as I woke up filled my mind. To never have to endure being away from her again. Of times like tonight, feeling her against me and having no reason to stop. To have the freedom to be with her anytime and anywhere. Having everything I ever wanted.

The images were so vivid in my mind, it took no time at all for me to achieve my release and the intensity of the sensations rushing through my body caused me to lean forward against the wall to catch my breath.

There was no way I could be without her again for this long. After holding her and feeling her against me again, I was even more grateful for weekends off during AIT and Christmas exodus coming up in a couple of months.

Dressing quickly after my shower in a plain t-shirt and jeans, I walked out of the bathroom and went straight to my dresser, immediately reaching for her dog tags and sliding them over my head. Though I knew that we were both extremely sexually frustrated, I needed to keep myself focused on what was the most important. I was home for a relatively short period of time. I needed to enjoy this time with my family and my girlfriend, to put the hormonal male on the back burner.

However, those thoughts were quickly lost as I hurried out of my room, nearly running directly into Bella in the hallway. Her smile brightened her face as her eyes ran the length of my body and stopped on the chain around my neck, then her arms wrapped around my waist.

"Looks good. Feel better?" she asked, raising an eyebrow as she lightly brushed her lips against mine.

"For now," I replied, laughing as her hand swatted my ass and I linked my hands behind her. "You know I'll make it up to you, Bella."

"Mmm, you always do," she smirked, tightening her hold around me. "And Charlie is working nights now."

The suggestive tone in her voice as she kissed right below my ear caused me to groan and bury my face against her shoulder. "Baby, you are defeating the purpose of my shower."

"Oh damn," she replied sarcastically, pulling away from me and taking my hands. "Your mother asked me to come up and tell you it was time for dinner anyway."

She bit her lip as nonchalantly turned away, releasing my hands and shrieking slightly in a giggle as moved up quickly behind her with a growl, wrapping my arms tightly around her waist.

Conversation was kept light over dinner until Bella and Rose joined my mother in the kitchen while my father, Emmett and I moved outside to the patio. My father's understanding smile and my brother's intrigued expression as I told him of my daily life was all the encouragement I needed. We talked for over an hour about all the things I had seen and done at Fort Leonard Wood, and all the people I had met; including a Seattle native, Riley Bishop, with whom I'd formed a particularly close friendship and would also be joining me at Aberdeen in two weeks.

"That's all you, bro. You'd never find my ass up before sunrise for anything," Emmett finally said, shaking his head.

"Yeah, well, there has to be a slacker in every family," I retorted, punching his arm lightly as I stood from my chair.

"Oh hell no, you didn't," Emmett shot back, shooting up from his own seat and chasing me across the lawn before tackling me to the ground in a headlock. "Who's the slacker now, little brother?"

We laughed out loud as we rolled around the grass like we did when we were kids, until our names were called from the patio and we both looked up from wrestling to find all three women with identical annoyed looks on their faces. Glancing at each other briefly, we shrugged and stood up off the ground, continuing to jab and shove each other all the way back to the patio.

"Bella has school in the morning, Edward," my mother said sternly with her arms folded over her chest and I glanced over at Bella, who was gazing at me pleadingly.

I walked toward her, wrapping my arm around her waist and pulling her against me. Her arms slid around me, holding me tightly as I nodded to my mother. "Yeah, I guess I better get her home."

After saying goodnight to my family, she walked with me out to the car and was uncharacteristically silent throughout the entire drive back to her house. The moment we were parked in the driveway in front of her house, she leaned across the seats and captured my lips with her urgently, her hands clasping my face firmly.

"Don't leave yet," she whispered softly against me, crawling across the seats and into my lap.

My hands gripped her thighs on either side of my legs as her kiss grew more urgent, sliding her arms around my neck tightly to pull me against her. I tilted my head back to break the kiss long enough to catch her attention and speak.

"Baby, is that why you've been so quiet? You thought I was just going to drop you off?"

She shrugged with one shoulder, her eyes dropping between us as her fingers trailed down my chest to the tags. "It was getting late. I wasn't sure."

"Bella, look at me," I said softly, holding her face in my hands and her eyes slowly rose to meet mine as my thumbs grazed her cheeks. "You really think that after all this time, I'm going to waste a single minute with you?"

A smile teased at her lips until finally returning completely just before returning them to mine passionately.

"First, let's get in the house, though," I mumbled against her lips, and we both chuckled as she hit the horn with her elbow as she began shifting to get out.

"Yeah, might be a good idea," she replied, moving back over to her side and grabbing her backpack and purse before exiting the car.

The moment we finally closed the door behind us inside the house, she jumped into my arms and wrapped her legs around my waist, attacking my lips fervently.

"I need you, Edward. Now," she panted, tugging at my bottom lip with her teeth.

I groaned against her lips and began walking up the stairs with her still in my arms to her room, falling onto her bed in a flurried rush. Her grip on me tightened, pulling me flush against her while her hips lifted up against me.

Weeks of longing and aching for her began to take over as I sat back on my legs, pulling her up with me to lift her shirt from her body and running my lips against the soft curves of her breasts. Just as I was unhooking her bra, her cool fingers slid beneath the rim of my t-shirt, running along my skin to remove it.

Opening my eyes as my shirt was discarded aside, I watched hers running over my bared skin. Her fingers began to trace the more defined contours of the muscles in my chest and arms, and then leaned forward to kiss along my neck as they ran along my back.

"These pants need to go," she growled, taking my earlobe between her teeth and biting lightly.

Tugging me to the side, she rolled me onto my back and straddled my legs as she kissed down my chest and abdomen toward the waistband of my pants. Quickly unbuttoning them and pulling them down off my hips along with my boxers, she stood off the end of the bed to discard them and quickly shed her own.

She crawled up my body swiftly, hovering above me as she positioned me to slide inside her. Her breath stilled in her throat as I filled her completely, her fingers gripping my arms while my hands held her waist to guide her over me.

"Damn, you feel so good," I whispered huskily as I closed my eyes, losing myself in the feeling of her surrounding me again, the sounds of her breaths coming in short bursts with each of my movements inside her.

"Edward. Please... faster," she gasped, rolling her hips against my guided movements to press me deeper and causing my eyes to roll back. I began thrusting up against her and her head fell back with a groan, then shooting up again to gaze down at me with a wanton look in her eyes. "Don't be gentle. I need you too much."

I pulled her down to me, my lips crashing into hers and rolled her over so we were lying diagonally across the bed, thrusting firmly against her as our bodies settled. Her moan echoed through the room as her head dangled slightly off the edge of the bed and I hitched her leg higher over my hip.

I needed her, too. Badly.

Kissing along her neck and feeling her hand tracing along my hair, I began moving against her in deep, rapid thrusts. Her leg tightened around me and her moans turned to whimpers, the nails of her other hand clawing at my back.

"God, yes. Just like that. Fuck," she let out in a growl, her head falling back more. "Edward... I'm..."

"Me too," I rasped, feeling myself quickly approaching release. Her muscles began tightening, locking her hold around me more firmly and the sounds of our moans as we peaked were drowned against each other's lips in a heated kiss.

As our orgasms subsided, the kiss slowed and our grips loosened, never taking our gazes off the other. Her fingers ran gently through my hair as our lips parted, slowly tracing down along my jawline and running over my lips. "I love you. God, I've missed you so much."

"I love you, baby," I whispered, kissing her fingertips gently before rolling us fully onto the bed and holding her against me for just a few more minutes until I knew I had to leave. Feeling her snuggle against my side, I ran my hand along her back and pressed my lips against her soft hair. "And I've missed you, too."

I definitely needed to make the most of the next two weeks.

* * *

**A/N 2: Hope you enjoyed hearing from Armyward, I know I sure missed the hell out of him. :) **

**-For those who do not know, AIT stands for Advances Individual Training, where Edward will be going for 34 weeks for schooling to train for his Army job, at Aberdeen Proving Ground, MD.**

**As a side note, as many of you may or may not know, Ninapolitan, LolaShoes, and tby789 have teamed up for a little something called The Fandom Gives Back, a fundraiser for Alex's Lemonade Stand. Every little bit helps in the fight against childhood cancer. For more details, check my profile with the link to the home page.**

**Thanks so much everyone!**


	3. Back to Normal

**Don't Ever Forget Chapter 3 ~ Back To ****Normal**

Pulling my comforter tightly around my body, I attempted to ward off the chill in my room as the morning light filtered through my curtains. I was afraid to open my eyes, afraid to find that yesterday was nothing more than another beautiful dream; feeling Edward in my arms, his lips against mine, making love to me again. Yet as I curled my legs to my chest, the bare skin of my thighs pressed against my abdomen and I smiled when I didn't feel the cotton of my pajamas.

My body still ached in the most delicious way from our frantic encounter last night.

It was _real. _The relief I felt at that realization was consuming, and I couldn't hold back the girlish giggle at the thought. And the memories from yesterday.

Watching Edward walking through the terminal toward me caused the butterflies to erupt in my stomach and the excited tears to form in my eyes. He was _really_ here. Looking so incredibly handsome in his cropped hair and fatigues, and I couldn't keep myself from breaking away from Emmett the moment Edward was clear and working my way through the crowd toward him.

Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion as I came closer to him and broke into a run to jump into his arms. I held him tightly, anxious to feel him as close to me as possible. Even Emmett's teasing only moments into our first kiss in nine long weeks didn't dim the excitement of feeling him, touching him, inhaling his scent as it surrounded me. And I could hardly wait to finally have him alone.

Standing in the parking garage shortly thereafter, he kissed me with such unbridled passion and I wanted nothing more than for him to consume me completely. Seeing him in uniform dwarfed every image I had conjured in my mind from only gazing at his picture. I would miss running my fingers through his once wild mane, but I was far more aroused by the short hair than I ever imagined possible. He looked older, sexier.

And he was _mine_.

Of course, I was to be disappointed by our time being cut short. Then again, the interruption on the couch just a few hours later, when his family returned home. Attempting to appear calm while talking to Esme and Carlisle, knowing exactly what Edward was doing upstairs in the shower was not easy, and beyond frustrating.

We still had several hours before we could have any significant time alone to really enjoy each other. Therefore, I jumped at the opportunity when Esme asked me to run upstairs and tell Edward it was time for dinner. A few minutes were better than nothing by then.

While mourning the loss of the fatigues when we practically ran into each other in the hallway, my heart pounded in my chest at the sight of him so casual again. The jeans resting low on his hips, his gray t-shirt, clinging tightly to his sculpted chest, and leaving the firm muscles of his arms exposed.

And _my _dog tags hanging around his neck.

Teasing and feeling so carefree with him again as he grabbed me around the waist from behind and carried me down the stairs was refreshing. As was watching him wrestle with Emmett after dinner. It allowed me to simply enjoy this, enjoy him, with no thought at all about the temporary nature of our time together. Everything was back to normal, for now.

When we arrived at my house, a sudden dread settled over me. I didn't want to waste a single moment of these thirteen days and I feared that because of the late hour, our time together would be cut short. I pulled him to me as I leaned across the seats, hungrily seeking out his lips and climbing into his lap, begging him not to leave. I wanted him so badly, having missed the physical connection between us as well.

Fortunately, he was just as unwilling to leave as I was to let him go. And after fumbling out of the car and into the house, he carried me up the stairs and laid us on my bed.

A shiver of desire had run down my spine the moment I lifted his shirt from his body, admiring the more defined muscles in his chest and abdomen with both my eyes and fingertips.

The urge to pull him close, to hold and grasp and never let go was so strong. I wanted him badly; I _needed _him.

Giving in, I pulled him on top of me, running my hands over his back, knowing this time wouldn't be the gentle, tender lovemaking that we were accustomed to.

Lying in the aftermath of our frantic encounter, I stared into his eyes as he kissed me gently and repeatedly, satisfied and relieved that nothing had changed between us. If anything, time apart had intensified our desire for each other, had brought us closer. The time we had was always precious to me, but now it was treasured because deep down, I knew it wouldn't last.

Slowly opening my eyes, I spotted a folded sheet of my pink stationary on the pillow next to mine. In Edward's beautiful handwriting, I saw my name penned across the top. I unfolded it and rolled onto my back to read.

_Bella,_

_As much as I would love to lay here all night watching your beautiful face as you sleep, I have to go home. I'll see you in the morning and give you a ride to school. I love you, baby._

_Love,  
Edward  
_  
I bit my lip in excitement and sprung out of bed, quickly dressing in my robe and heading to the shower. _As much as I would love to lay here all night… _The thought of those words caused a shiver to run through my body. Falling asleep in his arms last night was heaven, and I wished I could have woken up in them as well.

_Someday…_

As I exited my room, Charlie was walking up the stairs, looking exhausted. "Have fun last night, kiddo?"

I nodded, trying to contain my smile as he stopped for a moment outside my door. "Yea, the Cullens were so excited to have Edward home. It was nice to be all together for dinner again."

"Just remember, homework comes first, Bells," he said in his paternal voice, raising his eyebrows.

"Yep, and home by eleven. Got it," I rushed out, kissing his cheek and moving past him into the bathroom.

After showering quickly, I dressed and gathered my things for school, so anxious to see Edward again. I was just stepping out the door as he was turning into my driveway. I smiled, seeing him there, unable to let the bitter October weather drag me down. Based on his grin, I wasn't the only one. Before I could get to his car, he stepped out, eagerly pulling me into his arms for a kiss.

"Morning beautiful," he murmured softly against my lips, tightening his hold around my waist.

"Mmm, and a good one at that," I replied, the memories of our passion last night still fresh. I didn't want to leave and I had no qualms in making that clear. "I _really _don't want to go to school today."

He chuckled and brushed a kiss on my forehead. "I _really _doubt that would go over well with Charlie. I have things to do today anyway, and then I'm all yours tonight, alright?"

That sounded fair, even if I didn't like it. Sighing heavily, I pouted as he walked me to the passenger side, opening the door. After I was in, I watched him move quickly around the car, inhaling the blended scents of the leather and his cologne surrounding me. I had almost forgotten this part of what used to be a daily routine, everything I had unknowingly taken for granted, until it was gone. Every little detail from the scents, to the sight of him digging the keys out of his jacket pocket, to the sound of the seat creaking beneath him as he settled into the car beside me.

"So what's _your _plan for the day while I sit through utterly _exhilarating _lectures?"

Edward laughed. Reaching over the console for my hand and bringing it to his lips, my previous tension at the thought of separating from him today temporarily eased. I could take pleasure in the simple gestures like this that I had missed so much, and that I would have him all to myself tonight. "Breakfast with my parents and Emmett, and then being put to work painting the nursery with Jasper before he goes to work."

"Wow. Sounds... exciting. I think I'd prefer school to hormonal, bossy Alice when it comes to the baby's room. I'm sorry," I replied, kissing his hand and patted the back of it gently. "But aren't you supposed to just be, I don't know... relaxing?"

"Thanks for the encouraging thoughts, Bella. She's _your _best friend, you know," he jokingly groaned and then smirked at me. "Besides, it will give me a chance to see Jasper for a while. He doesn't have that much free time right now, ya know."

"Yes. I know she's my best friend, and I love her dearly. But her hormones have been in full throttle the last couple of weeks and poor Jasper's been losing his mind. Tread lightly," I warned. He parted our hands for just a moment to turn down the heater, and I nearly complained; but he grasped my fingers again, resting our linked hands on my leg. I had been too absorbed in him, and this, to realize it was warm. The silence filling the car for the remainder of the drive to school was comfortable, simply enjoying each other's presence until the familiar brick structure came into view.

"It's only six and a half hours, baby," Edward said softly as we came to a stop in front of the school, lifting my hand to place a gentle kiss on the backs of my fingers.

"I know. It just seems like six and a half _wasted _hours right now," I replied, staring down at my lap.

His finger hooked under my chin and he leaned toward me, brushing his lips softly on mine before opening his eyes again to look at me. "We still have time. Now get to class and I'll see you in a few hours."

"Fine," I groaned dramatically, opening my door and felt his hand pinch my side as I turned. I leaned backward toward him, tilting my head for another kiss, which he immediately gave me. "I love you."

"Love you too," he whispered, brushing the backs of his fingers along my cheek. I would never grow tired of hearing that, and wanted to stay, but couldn't. Reluctantly, I stepped out of the car, the cool gust of air not powerful enough to dampen the smile on my face. Walking toward the school, I hastened my steps, as if moving more quickly would cause the day to pass faster. My lips still tingled from his kiss, and I could still feel where his hand had wrapped around mine only moments before.

"So, Bella," I heard the high-pitched voice approaching from behind me. Turning automatically, I cringed, finding Jessica already beside me. "Edward's looking _really _good these days, huh?"

"Very," I replied blandly at her suggestive tone, ignoring her as best I could.

"Don't sound _too _thrilled. So… what point are you trying to prove by having him bring you to school?" she snarked.

I rolled my eyes and thought to tell her that she didn't have any idea what she was talking about, but she turned away to rejoin the other harpies before I could utter a word. Although I shouldn't have been surprised at Jessica's bitchiness and assumptions, it seemed low - even for her - to assume that I'd actually had Edward bring me to school to show him off.

I smiled in relief when I spotted Angela coming across the green, bouncing excitedly as she reached me.

"Oh my god, Bella," she replied breathlessly with a grin, which I immediately returned.

"I know," I replied with a soft chuckle.

I sat through class after class, enduring the stares and murmurs of the Bitch Squad, but I couldn't have cared less. Yet, as I sat down with Mike and Angela at lunch, I could tell the antics were getting to them far more.

"Can they _be _any more obvious?" Mike groaned, stabbing at his pizza with the plastic knife in his hands. "Doesn't it bother you at _all_, Bella?"

I chuckled and sipped my soda gingerly. Mike had actually grown to be a really good buddy over the last few weeks, and one of the few guys I could associate with that wouldn't hit on me. That in itself was comforting. "Sometimes. I'd be lying if I said it never did. But if I succumb to their bitterness, I'd just be giving them exactly what they wanted. Right?"

"You're a lot stronger than I could ever be," Angela replied, shaking her head with a watery smile as we discarded our trays. Did she really perceive my thoughts as strength? In reality it was anything but strength; merely a coping technique.

Linking my arm with hers, we walked out the cafeteria doors; I tugged her gently toward me. "They're just pissed because Ben turned his nose up at them and chose a _real _hottie."

A blush came to her cheeks with a small, embarrassed laugh. "Shut up."

As I sat through my next class, my words to Angela rang loudly in my head. Sometimes I wished I could be as convincing with myself as I was with Angela. While I had no doubts that Edward loved me or any insecurities about the depth of our connection, that their insinuations were completely baseless; I could almost understand their bitterness. The hottest guy in school being swept out from under them by someone as plain and ordinary as me. That he loved me and stayed with me after casting aside every other girl.

What made _me_ so special?

However, as I exited the school after a seemingly endless day, the sight before me immediately drowned out every doubt and insecurity that had been tugging at my mind all day.

Edward stood outside his car, leaning back against it with his arms folded over his chest, his jeans hugging the firm muscles of his thighs. Even with the sunglasses hiding his eyes, there was no mistaking the moment his gaze met mine as his face lit up when he spotted me. Every answer I needed was in the breathtaking crooked smile that appeared on his lips.

_I _evoked that from him. That was _my_ smile.

"Hey there, handsome. Been waiting long?" I teased as I stopped in front of him, resting my hands on his sides.

"All day," he said softly, raising his palms to cup my face gently between them and lowering his lips to mine. I whimpered softly, dragging my nails along his chest and gripping his shirt, urging him to deepen the kiss. I needed this moment of closeness with him, but all too soon, he broke away and I groaned in protest. "Did the vultures behave today?"

I opened my eyes to look at him, watching him nod behind me; I turned to see a group of people. Guys and girls alike, staring at us with varying looks on their faces, everything from disbelief to disgust. My hands gripped the sides of his jacket and rested my forehead briefly on his chest before looking back up to him.

"Eh, nothing I can't handle," I replied with a careless shrug, rolling my eyes.

Edward gazed at me with an unreadable expression and then suddenly slid his arms around my waist, lifting me up to eye level and hugging me tightly. "I missed you today."

Before I had the chance to respond, his lips crashed onto mine and I moaned softly against them, wrapping my arms around his neck. Every thought and sound around me disappeared, losing myself in the fervor of his kiss. The rawness of it was intoxicating, and my leg slid around his to pull him closer.

"Don't let them get to you, baby," he murmured when our lips finally parted and his forehead rested against mine.

"They are the _furthest _thing from my mind at the moment," I whispered contentedly, kissing him one last time before he finally set me down.

"Good," he replied, reaching for the door handle to pull it open, his eyes never leaving the crowd in front of him.

"Do I need to give you the same advice, Edward?" I asked jokingly as I stepped in.

"Funny," he grumbled humorlessly and shut my door roughly, quickly moving around the car to get in. His jaw clenched and loosened repeatedly while his hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, his gaze staring past me and glaring at the school grounds as the engine roared. Driving away, I reached over to rest my hand on his thigh.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he replied, staring intently at the road in front of him, finally glancing over to my disbelieving expression. "Crowley was staring at your ass."

I snorted a laugh, squeezing his leg gently.

"Edward, are you _jealous_?" I asked with a smirk. "You know that's _really_ not attractive."

"No," he retorted defensively and then rolled his eyes, taking a hold of my hand. "He just needs to keep his ogling eyes to himself."

"Pull over," I said firmly and his eyes snapped over to mine suddenly, gazing at me in confusion. "Pull over, Edward!"

He released my hand at my insistent tone and brought his own back to the steering wheel, turning off to the side of the road. Shifting the car into park, he cut the engine and leaned back in the seat.

"Do you trust me?" I asked bluntly and his eyes closed as he let out a sigh.

"You know I trust you, Bella. It's _them_," he breathed out in frustration, his palms dragging along his thighs.

"Lean your seat back," I said, beyond irritated at the tense air between us. He did as I asked and I climbed over onto his lap, tracing my fingers along his cheek and coaxing him to open his eyes to look at me. "How many times have you told me in the past that it doesn't matter what any of these girls do or say? That you are mine, no matter what."

"I know," he sighed heavily, resting his hands on my hips and closing his eyes again. "I'm sorry, baby."

I leaned forward, kissing him firmly and feeling his arms slide around me. His fingers gripped the back of my jacket, pulling me closer with a sharp intake of breath. "I love _you, _Edward. I'm yours, and no amount of staring or flirting from them is going to change that. You have _nothing_ to be jealous of."

"I know. It's just being so far away..."

I cut him off with another kiss and then pressed my fingertips against his lips as I pulled away. "Even _more _reason why we need to have faith in _each other_. Otherwise, this is never going to work."

His forehead creased slightly as his eyes pinched closed, tightening his hold around my waist.

"They can't touch us if we have that, baby," I whispered, running my fingers lightly over the lines of his face, smoothing out his features as he relaxed under my touch. "Now let's enjoy this time together and not waste any more of it on them, okay?"

"How'd you get so smart?" he teased after a moment, squeezing my sides with his hands and a smile began to reappear on his lips.

"Comes with the gender and lack of testosterone," I teased, patting his cheek lightly and climbing back to my side of the car. "Now let's see where that gets me with my calc homework."

He laughed softly and sat back up, starting the car again and heading back to my house.

**x-x-x**

Each day that week, I absorbed every moment I could with him, even if it _did _involve homework. And on Friday, our usual date night, we took a drive out to La Push beach to watch the sunset. I hadn't been there any more than necessary with anyone but Jake since the night of Emmett's graduation. My first serious fight with Edward. One I thought would be the catalyst to losing everything I had been trying to preserve.

Leaning back against his chest, his arms encircling a blanket around us, I realized exactly how far we'd come in the last year.

When I sat here with him last, he was comforting me in my drunken state as I cried myself to sleep in his arms, mourning everything I thought I had just destroyed. Now I was here, simply enjoying the warmth of his embrace, the feel of his lips against mine anytime I felt the urge and turned my head.

We were stronger _because _of the challenges that life had set before us, not in _spite _of them.

"What are you thinking about?" he whispered softly as we stared out across the water, watching the sun slowly disappearing beneath the waves.

"You. Us," I answered simply, nuzzling my head back against his shirt and running my hand along his thigh beneath the blanket. "About our date tonight being cut short for a bachelor party."

Edward chuckled softly at my mock pout and kissed my cheek. "Well I'm only banking on my brother getting married once. I'm just glad that I'm going to be here for it. And _you _are going to be plenty occupied tonight keeping Rose calm about tomorrow, you'll hardly even miss me."

"That's not true and you know it as well as I do," I retorted, turning my head to gaze up at him. "I can see _them_ whenever I want. _You_, on the other hand, I only have nine more days left with."

My hand slid from beneath the blanket to rest on his face, meeting his lips with mine and grazing my teeth lightly over the bottom one. His groan rumbled against my back as his arms encircled me tightly.

"Baby," he mumbled between kisses and I opened my eyes to look at him. "Not here."

I sighed softly as his forehead rested against mine, nuzzling my nose lightly against his. "It's just been so long."

He let out a breathy laugh and kissed me gently, pulling the blanket more securely around me again. "It's been less than twenty-four hours, Bella."

"I don't mean like that. Well, not _entirely_," I replied softly, leaning my head back against his shoulder, watching my fingers as they played lightly with the collar of his shirt. "I mean… nine weeks was a _long_ time. And once you leave again, I don't know if I'll see you before Christmas. Even that seems _so _far away, and I don't want to _begin_ to think about after that."

"It's not going to be the same as Basic," he whispered softly, pressing his lips gently against my forehead. "I'll be able to call more often, and have the opportunity to come see you every once in a while."

"Don't get me wrong, Edward. I miss _this_ more than anything." I paused, pressing back against him more and holding his arm snugly around me. "Just having you here with me. But don't _you _miss… other things too?"

He smiled, brushing his lips against mine and pulling me closer. "Yes, of course I miss '_other things_' too."

"Don't mock me," I quipped, narrowing my eyes at him.

"I'm not mocking you," he replied but was unable to refrain from chuckling and I lightly slapped his arm. "Believe me, Bella. I would _much _rather be with you than take care of things myself…"

"Wait...take care of things yourself?" I asked, staring at him incredulously. "You mean like... '_take care of things_'?"

"Well, yea," he drawled out, nodding his head. "What else?"

"You can't be serious. With all those guys around and… I mean, Charlie is right down the hall from me…there's no way…" I rambled, shaking my head in disbelief.

"Yea, privacy is _not _easy to come by," he finished for me, bringing his hand to my cheek. "But with a beautiful and sexy girlfriend back home, thousands of miles away, in addition to some of those letters." My eyes fell and I bit my lip, a blush came to my cheeks as I remembered _exactly_ some of the things I wrote in those letters to him. _Never write a letter in the midst of sexual frustration again, Bella._ "Did you honestly think I went through all those weeks without _anything_?"

I shrugged in response, still unable to meet his eyes.

"Did you?" he asked, tilting his head slightly to catch my eyes, a look of astonishment on his face. "Not even _once_?"

I sighed in exasperation, pulling away from him and hugging my legs to my chest. "No. It wouldn't be the same if it wasn't _you_ touching me, so what's the point?"

He hummed softly behind me as he moved forward and pulled me back into his arms, brushing his lips against my neck. "Of course it's not _exactly_ the same, and I would _definitely_ prefer otherwise. But it's amazing what the mind can do when we really need it to. Otherwise, I think I would have gone crazy without you all that time, and not just sexually."

"What?" I asked, turning my head to face him.

"Here, I'll show you," he said, kissing my nose gently and backing away from me again, guiding me down to lie on the sand. "Close your eyes, Bella."

He draped the blanket over me and I hesitantly complied, taking a slow breath as my lids fell closed. "Now imagine you're in your room, and I'm not here."

I whimpered in displeasure at the thought, not even wanting to _begin _imagining that scenario quite yet. Being so far away from him again and missing him with every fiber of my being.

"Just trust me," he murmured and I reluctantly nodded as the backs of his fingers brushed against my cheek. "Picture me in your mind and _only_ your mind."

I swallowed hard. "Edward, please..."

"Can you see me?" he asked simply and I shook my head, opening my eyes and looking back to him. "Then you're not looking hard enough. Close your eyes and look again."

"Edward, this is kinda pointless when you're sitting right here," I groaned petulantly.

"I can leave if you'd like," he replied with a knowing smirk, earning a growl from me in return before I relented and closed my eyes again. "Can you see me now?"

"You sound like a bad Verizon commercial," I mumbled as I settled more comfortably in the sand and lowered my folded hands to my abdomen. My name fell from his lips in a heavy sigh of frustration, so I nodded. "Alright, I'm focused now."

My brow furrowed in concentration, attempting to conjure the memories of him that kept me going through all his weeks away. A smile tugged at my lips as one of my favorite memories of him materialized behind my closed lids.

Standing in our meadow that day that seemed so long ago now, telling me he loved me for the first time. Every detail suddenly became more clear to me than ever, as if I were back in the moment itself.

The haphazard way his hair set, noticeably showing the hours he'd spent running his hands through it. His wrinkled dark blue t-shirt beneath his leather jacket, as if he'd fallen asleep in it, though the hint of circles under his eyes contradicted that idea. But even they were not enough to diminish the sheer beauty of this man I loved.

"I can see you," I whispered, keeping my eyes closed and watching my vision of him.

"What am I doing?" he replied just as softly.

"You're holding my face, kissing me and telling me that you love me," I quietly answered.

"Tell me more."

I took a deep breath in an attempt to focus, and I shivered. I felt a cold chill run through me, as if I were completely detached from this moment with him and inside my imagination instead. "I smell wet grass. Your hands are so warm. I can't get close enough to you, or kiss you enough."

"Try another one," he said gently when the anxiety filled my voice as the all too familiar yearning returned all at once, aching from his absence.

I attempted to clear my mind again, rubbing my face roughly with my hands when he reappeared yet again. "You're on my bed…"

"Bella," he sighed and I could almost hear him shaking his head.

"Not like that," I groaned, rolling my eyes behind my lids. "Just lying with me. Running your fingers through my hair."

I felt my entire body unwind as I lost myself in my musing. It all felt so real, even though he was sitting at least a foot away from me. His arms around me, my leg draped over his as my head rested on his chest…

"I can hear your heartbeat. Feel you breathing in my hair," I whispered quietly as I could actually feel myself begin to relax even more, feeling as if any moment, I could easily fall asleep. In my mind, he was holding me and I was safe and warm with him in my room, not here on this chilly beach.

"See."

The sudden closeness of his voice startled me and my eyes shot open, gazing up at him for a moment before his lips met mine. Sliding my arms around his shoulders, I pulled him against me as the sudden chill of the breeze coming off the water struck me again.

"It's still not the same," I chuckled, nuzzling my face against his neck.

"No, _definitely_ not the same. But until we can be together more often," he trailed off as his lips moved along my jaw until his face was hovering above mine again.

"Yeah," I replied simply, my eyes holding his while my fingertips re-memorized the contours of his brow, his cheekbones, his jaw. I held him more securely as he attempted to rise up, wrapping my leg around his to pull him closer. "Five more minutes."

"Baby, with five more minutes, I just might lose control and take you right here on this beach," he grinned against my lips, his voice thick with arousal as he pressed his hips against me.

"Oh, and the option left open to me is sending my boyfriend to a bachelor party hot and bothered? I think I'd rather you relinquish the control," I murmured, pulling the blanket around him and sealing my lips over his.

He responded to my kiss earnestly, his arms sliding beneath me and pressing his body more firmly against mine. He groaned as my fingertips moved beneath the fabric of his shirt, aching to feel even that small amount of connection between his skin and mine. As he ground his erection against my hip, I whimpered softly, dragging my fingernails down his back and sliding my hands into the back pockets of his jeans, pulling him closer. I could feel how much he wanted me, could hear it in his soft grunts.

Even after having been with Edward every day this week since he'd come home, I still felt an insatiable need for him. Knowing that in nine more days, we'd be in the same situation we'd been in for the last nine weeks. I needed to feel him.

However, when his hand slid up my side and cupped my breast, his lips parted from mine and he pulled away slightly, resting his forehead against mine. "Bella, I'd _really_ like to, but we _really_ have to go."

I sighed heavily at his breathy yet firm tone, loosening all hold on him and standing up, brushing the sand off my clothing. "Great. That's really comforting."

He stood up beside me and took me back into his arms, tilting my chin up to look at him. "Don't worry, there's no women. Just me, my dad, Jasper and Emmett. And three quarters of us are under the legal drinking age on top of that." Leaning down to brush his lips softly against mine, his hand rested on my cheek as he gazed back at me. "And even if there were, you _still_ wouldn't have to worry. There's nothing better out there than what I've already got."

"Ass kissing will get you nowhere," I mumbled against his lips stubbornly, fighting off his kiss until he tickled me. As my mouth relaxed, his kiss deepened passionately, his fingers weaving into my hair and sucking gently on my lower lip. "You don't fight fair."

He smirked and pecked my lips one more time. "You'll never get me to claim I do. Come on, let's get you to Rose's so I can get this party over with."

"You can still change your mind, you know," I teased, wrapping my arm around his waist as we began to walk back toward his car, smiling as he chuckled in response.

In that moment, nothing else mattered. Despite all the whisperings I'd endured all week at school and the quickly vanishing time I had with him, I could still just enjoy _this_ time with Edward.


	4. The Path We've Chosen

**Don't Ever Forget 4** ~ **The Path We've Chosen**

**EPOV****  
**  
Swaying to the slow music and holding Bella against me, I tried everything in my power to simply focus on her and enjoy the evening at my brother's wedding reception. My mind however, had ideas of its own. A surge of jumbled thoughts and images filtered through my mind from the unexpected turn of events of the night before.

_**The previous evening**_

Rose was going to kill my brother, possibly Alice and Bella as well. Only two requests were made; no women and no drinking.

Yet, the moment our father's car pulled out of the lot outside Jasper's apartment, Emmett sprung from the couch and grabbed his jacket, urging us to do the same. Reluctantly, we complied and emitted simultaneous groans as he pulled into the driveway of a large house. The music from inside could be heard throughout the neighborhood, as well as the loud howls of the three large guys who stepped out onto the porch upon our arrival.

"Emmett, what the hell is going on?" I growled tensely, my fists clenching on my knees.

"Come on, brother of mine. Lighten up," he replied, patting my arm sharply. "Don't tell me the Army has stripped away your sense of fun along with your 'sex hair'. The boys from the team just wanted to throw me a 'farewell to singledom' party."

"Emmett!" I yelled after him as he stepped out of the car, quickly making his way over to his former teammates and receiving back claps and cat calls. Leaning back on the headrest, I sighed heavily and turned to look at Jasper in the back seat. "He's not gonna make it to the alter. I'm gonna kill him first."

"Get in line," Jasper replied through clenched teeth. "If I don't beat you to it, Alice will."

Nodding to each other in agreement, we stepped out of the car and made our way over to Emmett. As we approached, my gaze met an unwelcome sight and my body tensed, my fists clenching at my sides.

"What the _fuck_ is he doing here?" I growled menacingly, my eyes never leaving the face of James Dunlevy.

A moment later, I felt Jasper's hand clasp my shoulder and Emmett took a hold of my arm.

"Edward, don't do anything stupid. It's your brother's party," Jasper said, his grip tightening as I cracked my knuckles one by one in anger when James' eyes met mine, a smug smile on his face.

"Which is _exactly_ why he has no business here," I replied harshly, pulling away from both of their holds and stormed toward James. "I suggest you get the fuck out of here."

"Whoa-ho-ho, Cullen. Take it down a notch. Someone might actually assume that you're threatened by my presence here or something," he taunted with a snide smirk, holding his hands up as I stopped in front of him. "And that would _not_ be good for the tough guy front you've got going on there."

His features transformed from smug to malicious almost instantaneously as he stepped forward, standing face to face with me.

"You can either take my suggestion, or I will _make_ you leave," I hissed, my glare boring into him.

"Edward, come on, man. It's not worth it," Emmett said, pulling my shoulder back but I wouldn't budge, still locked in the confrontational stance with James.

"Need bodyguards to fight your battles for you? Well I guess that's a step up from a _girl_," James sneered, his eyes narrowing on me. "Though if I were you, I would enlist their efforts for that little girlfriend of yours. We both know how prone she is to flights of fancy."

"You leave Bella out of it. This is between you and me," I growled, feeling my nostrils flare in my fury.

"Oh, I disagree. I think this has everything to do with that little bitch of yours," he snapped, throwing his drink to the ground roughly.

My vision went red and I advanced on him, caught once again by Emmett and Jasper. "Say it again, I fucking dare you."

"Edward, stop," Jasper growled, his arm shooting in front of me to pull me back.

James grinned wickedly. "So how's the pussy out there, Cullen? Or should we be observing the 'don't ask, don't tell' creed? Because obviously even _you_ don't have what it takes to hold her interest. Maybe you should ask your little woman about all her little friends," he smirked triumphantly and took a step back from me, his gaze losing none of its malice. "Of the not-so-female assortment."

"Dunlevy, I think it best if you just leave now. Having once been a member of the football team was _not_ an instant invitation," Emmett interjected in a calm tone, though his resumed grip on my arm told me he was anything _but_ calm.

James rolled his eyes with a sarcastic laugh and stepped back further. "Fine. Only trying to preserve your precious little ego. It's only a matter of time before she does it to you, too."

"Edward, listen to me," my brother said sharply as my eyes followed James to the driveway where his car was parked. "Is that little punk _really_ worth everything you've worked so hard for? You gonna blow it all now? Think about it, bro. Don't make the last few months all for nothing, you know Bella better than that."

My nails were digging into my palms as my mind ran over thousands of scenarios of what I'd like to do to him; all of which would earn me a one way, express ticket out of the Army.

However, the tension in my body refused to ease all night, even when we finally made our way back to Jasper's for the night. Through their many attempts to loosen me up following our arrival, my mind ran rampant until finally, I lay on the couch, trying to ignore the incessant snoring of my brother fast asleep on the floor. Restlessness took over and I shoved the blanket off me, grabbing my keys from the table and heading out the door to my car.

There was only one thing in this world that could relax me.

The lights were still on when I arrived so I made my way quickly to the door, knocking sharply upon it.

"Edward, you're not supposed to be here, you know," Alice scolded with a small smirk, which slowly disappeared as she gazed at me. "Is something wrong?"

"That only applies to the bride and groom, and I _really_ need to see her, if you please," I replied somewhat tersely, causing her to step back to let me in and I found Bella in the living room, sitting on the floor at Rose's feet. "Bella..."

"Hey," she replied in a baffled tone, rising up from the floor and walking over to me. "What's up?"

"Can I talk to you? Please?" I said quietly and after gazing at me questioningly for a moment, she nodded and took my hand. We walked down the long hallway toward the spare bedroom, and she closed the door behind us.

The moment I heard the soft click, I pulled her into my arms and wrapped them tightly around her waist, burying my face in her neck. "Okay, Edward? You're starting to freak me out a little."

"Bad night. Just a bad night," I mumbled against her skin, hugging her more firmly as her embrace closed around my shoulders. I felt her fingertips trace along the edge of the shaven hair at my neck, kissing a path along her jaw to her lips and claiming them passionately.

Her hands came to rest on the sides of my face after a soft whimper against my lips, pulling away as her eyes searched mine. "Baby, what happened? You're shaking."

I shook my head and tried to pull her back, but instead she guided me over to the bed, lying down and tugging my hand gently to join her. Draping my body beside Bella, I slid my arms around her and pressed my lips against her shoulder.

Over the last few days, I'd simply allowed myself to let go and simply enjoy being with her, without once thinking about how little time we had left. Time was quickly becoming my enemy; nine days before I would have to let her go again. And for the first time since I'd stepped off that plane, I felt it consume me and drag me under.

"I missed you tonight," I whispered as I brought my lips to hers, driving my hand into her hair and kissing her heatedly as my body pressed against her. She instinctively responded, her back arching against me and her fingers gripping desperately to my back.

The moment I deepened the kiss, her body stiffened and she broke it. I could feel her intense gaze on me without even opening my eyes and I exhaled slowly. "Edward, you are acting really strange. What happened tonight?"

I rested my forehead against hers, feeling her fingers gently caressing my cheek. "I knew it was going to be hard. Expected it, even. But not like this."

Bella rose up on her elbow and I rolled onto my back, my eyes locked on the ceiling as her fingers ran along my hair. "It was just a bachelor party..."

"Not the bachelor party," I interrupted, shaking my head and turning my gaze to look at her. I gently brushed her hair over her shoulder and stared at her skin reflecting the moonlight from the window. "Not seeing you. Not touching you. Being so far away when everyone else is so close. Not even being able to hear your voice."

"Don't you _dare_ start regretting your decision, Edward Cullen," she growled, raising up to kneel on the bed beside me. "I won't allow it."

I sat up and rested my arms on my knees, staring down at the pattern of the comforter between my legs. "I don't, baby. And that's the most fucked part about it, and what doesn't make any sense at all. I _don't_ regret joining the Army, it's something I've wanted to do since I was a kid. Be like my dad, you know? I just never imagined that I would be so selfish as to drag someone else along with me, to follow my dream and sacrifice everything of their own."

Bella let out a heavy breath, waving out her arms and shaking her head. "What am I sacrificing? Besides time with you, I can't think of a single thing I am sacrificing for this relationship with you."

"A normal high school experience?" I replied, turning my gaze back to her and her eyes widened. "A boyfriend you can walk down the halls with holding hands, getting called out by teachers for PDAs. Dates. A normal social life not spent home writing letters, or waiting for phone calls that as of yet, have never happened."

"Don't," she replied sharply, moving in front of me and taking my face in her hands. "I've had that. Nearly ten months of it. I haven't sacrificed anything. So don't you dare even _think_ of breaking up with me."

"What?" My eyes rose sharply to meet hers in shock at her words, and then slid my arms around her waist to pull her against me. "No, baby. God knows, I am way too selfish to ever do that. I need you far too much to even think about it. But don't you ever feel like you're missing out on things by being with me?"

"Like what? What could I possibly be missing? Keg parties at the Stanley's? Sleeping around with half of Forks?" she asked, pulling away and looking at me, the hint of a soft smile on her face. "The answer is no, I don't feel like I'm missing out on _anything_ because I'm with you. Those are experiences I can do without, thank you. What I have with you is so much better, no matter _how_ much I miss you while you're away. I love you and you're worth the wait."

Running my hands along her sides, I stared into her eyes, bowled over by the absolute love and devotion I saw written there. I brushed her lips softly with mine and her arms slid around my neck, moving closer to straddle my thighs and kiss my forehead. "Bella, you have no idea how many times I've laid awake at night all these weeks, wishing you were even one year older. That by this time next year, I could have you closer to me instead of thousands of miles away. And I've never felt so narcissistic in my entire life. I love you so much, but I can't always be certain that I'm the best thing for you."

"That's for _me_ to decide, Edward. I may only be seventeen, but I know exactly what I want. And whether it's one year or two, or even ten, you're _always_ going to be what I want," she whispered against my hair as my cheek rested on her chest, listening to her heart beating rapidly within. "The best things in life are never easy. The hardest thing I've ever done was watching you step onto that bus in August. But you know what? There's never been a single moment that I was more proud of you."

I brought my gaze to meet hers with a heavy sigh, and her fingertip lightly traced my lip. I kissed it gently, closing my eyes before she continued.

"You could have taken the easy road, baby. Stayed here in Forks with me, gotten a job you hated instead of enlisting, picked me up every weekend for a date, and probably even remained moderately happy," she nodded and then exhaled slowly, tilting her head. "But you had the guts to risk everything for what you believed in, for something that was important to you. I don't see anything selfish or narcissistic in that at all. Because what's important to you is important to me, and I support you completely. You shouldn't have to sacrifice for me either, Edward."

Tucking her hair behind her ear, I trailed my fingertips along her jaw and I couldn't help but smile at the ferocity that traced her tone. I was right; she was exactly what I needed tonight. I could actually feel every muscle in my neck and shoulders relax under her touch; my thoughts and fears quiet with her words. Cupping my hand around the back of her neck, I pulled her lips forward to meet mine and turned our bodies to lay her back down on the bed, her arms sliding around my back as she sighed softly into the kiss. I lifted my head and gazed down at her angelic face, her eyes closed and her smile returning to her lips. "What did I do to deserve you?"

"Well, how could I possibly resist a sarcastic smartass who reeked of cigarettes, yet still managed to save a damsel in distress from the puddle of mud she so gracefully slid herself into," she replied with a straight face until I reached down to tickle her side, causing her to giggle and finally gaze up at me, biting her lip gently as her expression turned serious again. "You loved me back, Edward. What more reason could I possibly need?"

**x-x-x**

We lay silently for the remainder of the evening until we finally fell asleep, holding onto each other and enjoying the simple pleasure of the other's company. After Rose barged into the room at 5:30 and subsequently kicked me out, I drove back to Jasper's with a heavy load on my mind. My entire future was flashing before my eyes as I dressed in my tux, while my brother jokingly taunted me about how I couldn't bear even one night out with the boys, away from Bella.

I couldn't even argue, and now, feeling her head resting on my shoulder as we danced and holding her hand against my chest, I saw no reason.

"Your heart's racing," I heard her mumble and felt the vibration of her voice on my skin, before she gazed up at me. "What are you thinking about that's got you all worked up?"

I gave her a smile and spun her, pulling her back against me and kissing her gently. "How absolutely ravishing you look in this dress, and how much I'll enjoy taking it off as well."

"Edward, my father is _right _there," Bella chuckled through tight lips, nodding to her right where I spotted Charlie dancing with a dark haired woman a few couples over. "Though I must say, I'm kinda disappointed that you're wearing the tux rather than your uniform."

I shook my head and smiled. "That would draw too much focus off where it belongs, and that's on Rose and Em."

"Your dad wore his," she replied, tilting her chin up in defiance and fighting off a smirk.

"My father is a retired officer, and has always worn his uniform to every major social event for as long as I can remember. But he's also not in the wedding party," I murmured, tightening my hold around her waist slightly as she rolled her eyes before resting her head back on my shoulder. My lips pressed against her hair, enjoying the soft feel and scent of it as we continued to sway. "When this is you and me, I'll wear it."

Her head lifted to look at me again, her brow furrowed slightly as she spoke. "'When'? What, do you already have some master plan for us, Mr. Cullen?"

"Actually, Miss Swan," I smirked in response, pulling away from her and turning her around to face away from me, sliding my arms around her to hold her against my chest. "In fact, I do."

My lips brushed against her cheek as her fingers traced lightly over the back of my hand on her stomach, her head resting back against me and I sighed heavily. "Edward, are you ever going to tell me what happened last night?" she asked softly, turning her head slightly to look up at me. "Your mood's been so erratic, ever since you came to see me last night. Should I be worried?"

My eyes glanced around the room, spotting my brother and Rose completely oblivious to the world around them, then to Jasper standing behind Alice's chair and leaning over to gently kiss her forehead. I took Bella's hand and held it behind me as I led her outside onto the patio, removing my jacket to wrap around her bare shoulders to shield her from the cool, damp November breeze.

Leaning forward on the railing overlooking the wet grass below, I drew in a deep breath. "You know how much I love you, right?"

"I guess that answers the 'worry' question," she sighed, leaning back against the railing beside me and glancing over at me. "Conversations that start with that phrase rarely end well. And are inevitably followed by a 'but'."

Her eyes fell again and she wrapped my coat more tightly around her as I continued. "You know I can't lie to you, Bella. We didn't stay at Jasper's all night. We went out to a party thrown by the football team."

Bella shifted uncomfortably and turned to face the railing, her breath shuddering nervously. "Do Rose and Alice know?"

"I don't know," I replied honestly, though judging by the view inside, I doubted it.

"So what happened?" she asked softly, unable to meet my eyes and taking her bottom lip between her teeth.

Turning toward her, I took her elbow and brought her to face me, my thumb gently pulling her lip free. "Nothing like what you're imagining, I'm sure. That would never happen in a million years, Bella."

Her features immediately relaxed, if only minimally, but her body remained tense. "Then what?"

"I saw James," I replied and her breath caught in her throat, shaking her head vigorously. "I didn't _do_ anything to him. As much as I wanted to with the way he runs his mouth, Em and Jasper convinced me not to, and they were right. He's not worth ruining everything that's important to me. But that doesn't mean he didn't get to me."

"About what? You can't _let_ him get to you," she sighed in exasperation, bringing her hand to my cheek.

"You," I said simply and her brow furrowed in confusion. "I know you're not doing what he was insinuating..."

"That son of a bitch," Bella laughed humorlessly, shaking her head as she back up. "He told you I was cheating on you, didn't he?"

"In not so many words, yes." Her jaw tightened and she spun on her heel, but I held onto her arm and pulled her back against me. My embrace closed around her shoulders and I kissed her hair, rocking her gently in place. "I already said I didn't believe him. That's not what brought me to Rose's house last night."

"Then what was?" she asked tensely, looking back up at me.

"Besides the fact that you're the only thing that could calm me down?" I replied, pecking her lips gently and then returning to lean back on the railing. "It got me thinking. Of what I would do if you ever _did _leave me. If you ever got tired of waiting. And I never _could_ come up with an answer."

I lowered my eyes from hers, taking another deep breath until I felt her cool hand rest against my cheek, pressing her lips gently against mine. "You never have to, Edward. I meant what I said last night. _You_ are all I'll _ever_ want."

Our foreheads rested together, our breaths mingling between us as we stood in silence. The sound of raindrops hitting the surface above us drowned out the music from inside and the dampened air seemed to accentuate the soft scent of her skin.

"Don't think," she whispered softly, her fingertips trailing lightly along the side of my neck.

"I really _am_ gonna marry you someday," I replied, gazing into her eyes seriously as hers seemingly searched mine. "Never have to be apart from you again."

_**BPOV**_

Edward's odd behavior since the night before had been unnerving. I'd never seen him so disheveled since the previous year, with all the insanity revolving around his induction. Since that, it had always been _him_ reassuring and comforting _me_ through this entire period. Nothing even resembling the last twenty-four hours, and never with such uncertainty written so clearly across his features.

We'd occasionally discussed our still distant future together, but never with the frequency and intensity as he had between last night and now.

"Edward, what is this about, really?" I asked, stepping back from him slightly to take him in fully.

Sighing heavily, he took my hand and led me to one of the nearby benches, lowering down and guiding me to sit on his leg. His fingers ran lightly along my hip as his lips pressed against my shoulder.

"When I started planning this course of my life, I wasn't planning on you at all. I truly had _no_ intention of being with anyone or leaving someone behind, so it was never a factor in my decision," he began and I tensed slightly in his hold, causing his eyes to meet mine. "And _this_ is why. Being a soldier is the easy part for me, it's what I've been preparing for nearly my whole life. It's being away from you that's difficult. And that's what makes me so damn jealous. Not because I think you _will_ do something, but that you _deserve_ to. You deserve to be loved and cherished and mooned over in ways that I can't right now, and won't be able to for a long time. I know you've promised to wait for me and nothing in this world means more to me than that. I just wish we could fast forward time so that I didn't have to be away from you for so long, that's all."

"Me too." Any anger I felt toward him at the beginning of his statement dissipated with the increased sadness in his eyes, the hints of loneliness in his tone. I could not deny that I shared many of his feelings. He didn't deserve to be alone any more than I did, simply based on his career choice, and we'd both underestimated the impact our situation would have on us, to be apart for so long. I traced along his cheek with my fingertips before kissing him gently.

"Hey, Bells?" I jumped slightly at the sound of my father's voice in the doorway, suddenly startled out of our little bubble. "Sorry. Just wanted to tell you that I'm heading out. Early shift in the morning and all. So I guess I'll be seeing you after work?"

Standing from Edward's lap, I walked over to him, gently kissing his cheek and nodding. I smiled and rolled my eyes as I glanced over to Edward before bringing his eyes back to me. "Dad, I'll be fine. I'm a big girl."

"Oh my God!" we heard from inside and all three of us rushed through the door, finding Alice on the floor holding onto her stomach, with Jasper, Rose and Emmett huddled around her. The blue dress she wore was nearly black as moisture seeped through the fabric.

"The baby," I whispered in shock.


	5. A Bend in the Road

**Don't Ever Forget 5**** ~ A Bend in the Road****  
**  
After a quick stop to change, we all rushed to the hospital to find out from Jasper that Alice was indeed in active labor, after which he disappeared to return to her. For hours, we sat in the waiting room, and by three in the morning, there was still no word.

"Sure gives me a lot of hope for the future," Rose joked quietly, nodding toward her new husband, who sat beside her with his head tilted back and mouth slightly agape.

I chuckled softly, running my fingers along Edward's hair as his head rested in my lap. "I'll bet you anything that when the time comes for these two, they'll be the one's running around like chickens with their heads cut off. While we tell them to shut up so we can concentrate on the task at hand."

Rose smiled and nodded, glancing at Emmett adoringly. "Yeah, probably."

My eyes moved back down to Edward and my mind ran over all that had transpired since the day before. Never would I have imagined the thoughts that had been running through his head, the fears he possessed. He'd presented himself as so calm and collected the whole time he'd been home, with only the slightest hints of jealousy and loneliness here and there; but _never_ to this extent. I hadn't imagined that the insecurities he may have harbored ran so deep within him, since he always seemed to be the strong one; so sure of himself, of me, of us. And in the last twenty-four hours, I'd seen an entirely different side of this man that I loved with my entire being.

It wasn't just me with these thoughts, feelings, and fears. Who needed the reassurance every now and then that I was still worth fighting for, that we were in this thing together; he was just better at masking it. I found that knowledge oddly comforting and hopeful.

Just after four, Jasper entered the waiting room, running his hands through his hair as Rose and I woke the other two.

"We've got ourselves a girl," he smiled as we all stood in anxious anticipation. "Five pounds, nine ounces of absolutely gorgeous."

Edward stepped forward first to engulf his exhausted best friend in a hug. "Never a doubt. Congrats, man."

"How's Alice?" I asked as he pulled away from Edward, his eyes meeting mine with a nod.

"Good. Resting right now if you'd like to go see her and Sarahlynn. I just need to run home and grab a few things for them. For all of Alice's meticulous planning, nothing managed to go accordingly," he replied with a chuckle, taking a deep breath and shaking his head.

"Hey, you've been up all night. I'll drive you," Edward volunteered, clapping Jasper on the shoulder and then looked at me. "You go on ahead. Tell Alice I said congratulations and I'll be by later."

He spoke in a rush, leaning toward me to gently peck my lips and then rushed out the door with Jasper. Before I could put much thought into his sudden odd behavior, Rose took my arm and began guiding me toward Alice's room, with Emmett trailing right behind.

**x-x-x  
**

"Babe, we totally gotta have one of these," Emmett gushed as he cradled the baby, who was nearly lost in his massive arms.

"You make her sound like a flat screen or something," Rose replied, moving beside him and running her fingertip over the baby's tiny fist that was poking out of the blanket. "And we've already talked about this. At _least_ a year before we even _try_. Let's get used to _this_ first."

Rose gestured between her and Emmett, tapping lightly on her wedding ring and even Alice's tired laugh filled the room before she finally spoke. "Sorry for making a circus out of your wedding reception. The doctor told me I looked good to hold out for the last two weeks of this. She apparently had other ideas."

"You tell Mommy to quit worrying about all that," Emmett cooed at the little girl. "You just wanted to join the fun, huh?"

"Rose, I think you should take little Sarahlynn away from him before he tries smuggling her out of here in his jacket or something," I said with a laugh as Rose rolled her eyes at her husband, lifting the baby from Emmett's hold and into her own.

"Where'd you get the name Sarahlynn, anyway?" she asked Alice, lightly swaying back and forth.

Alice smiled slightly, resting back into the pillows more. "It was Jasper's idea. He and Edward picked it out since I was sure I was having a boy."

"Edward? Tall, lanky, cropped hair... _that_ Edward?" I asked with widened eyes.

"Yeah, that one," Alice said softly, taking my hand in hers. "While he was helping Jasper paint the nursery. Guess I owe them both ten bucks now. Since when are men so intuitive?"

"Wow, I never thought I'd see the day that men would conquer women's intuition," I teased, winking at her and giving her hand a gentle squeeze. She smiled tiredly and closed her eyes, letting out a slow breath as she settled back into the pillow. "We'll let you get some sleep."

Alice protested, furrowing her brow and shaking her head. "No, I'm fine, really. I'm just gonna wait for Jasper."

"Should listen to your friends, sweetheart," Jasper's soft voice came filtering through the room and Alice's smile immediately grew, her eyes remaining closed and her features becoming serene.

Watching his lips press gently against her hair and her face turning subtly toward him, I was so entranced in their moment that I didn't hear Edward enter and jumped slightly as I felt his arm slide around my waist. "Baby, we should really get you home. It's been a long night, and Alice and Jasper need their rest, too."

I turned my head and glanced up at him, feeling his body stiff and rigid behind me. Placing my hand over his on my stomach, I nodded while observing the tenseness in his eyes and then turned back to Alice. "I'll be back later. Congratulations."

"Thank you," she whispered softly as I kissed her cheek.

As I pulled away, Edward reached down for my hand, giving a tight departing smile to Alice and Jasper before leading me out of the room. So taken aback by his behavior, I was speechless all the way down the hall. The ding signaling the arrival of the elevator brought me back to awareness and I tightened my hold on his hand, pulling him aside.

"Edward, what is going on with you? You've been acting weird all morning, ever since Jasper came to tell us about the baby," I stated, shaking my head as I gazed up at him, but he refused to look at me. Instead, he watched the elevator doors close again.

"It's nothing, I'm just tired," he replied, leaning back against the wall and shoving his hands into his pockets.

"You slept last night, remember? So how about we try this again. Your best friend just had a baby and you're behaving like it's a tragedy instead of something wonderful."

His gaze finally settled on me, his eyes penetrating mine with a look I'd never seen before. "Can we just not talk about this here?"

Edward looked away just as quickly and I pressed the button again to call the elevator back to our floor. A baby's cry broke the silence between us and I glanced to my right, watching as a tall man set a carseat between him and his wife on the floor. My eyes lowered to the newborn within, dressed in all pink with her tiny fists clenched under her chin. I smiled at the already exhausted looking parents. "She's beautiful."

"Thank you," they both replied with proud smiles, their gaze resting on their little creation.

I turned back to Edward to find his entire body tense, gazing up at the ceiling. I fought to contain my smirk as I took his arm and guided him into the elevator, feeling his muscles flex and relax repeatedly all the way down to the lobby.

As we walked across the parking lot toward his car, I finally released a chuckle and shook my head. "I can't believe you."

"What?" he asked, his brow creased in confusion.

"Big tough Army man. Feel fine toting a gun but you're afraid of a _baby_," I replied with a giggle, gazing over the car at him.

"No, I'm not," Edward scoffed, opening his door and lowering into the car, reaching across to lift the lock on mine.

I stepped in, gazing over at him in astonishment while his eyes remained forward as he started the car. "Yes, you _are_!"

"I'm not _afraid_ of babies," he emphasized, glancing over his shoulder to back out. "They just make me a little nervous, that's all."

"They're _babies_. Why would they make you nervous?"

Edward shrugged and began to drive, his lips pursing slightly. "I've just never had much to do with them. I was the youngest in my family, and I don't have any cousins or anything."

"You've _never _held a baby?" I gasped.

His jaw tightened as well as his grip on the steering wheel, and he shook his head rigidly. He glanced over to me briefly and sighed at my stunned expression, rolling his eyes as they returned to the road. "Don't look at me like that, Bella. I've just never had a reason to. Besides, did you see how tiny she was?"

"Emmett held her," I pointed out with a shrug and a triumphant smile. I'd figured it out; hit the nail on the proverbial head, and I could see the wheels beginning to turn in his head again. "So what's the problem?"

Edward shook his head but didn't respond, remaining silent all the way back to my house. He shifted the car into park and kept his gaze locked on the steering wheel. I leaned over to him, turning his chin with my fingertips, and kissing him gently.

"We're going back to the hospital later. And you're gonna hold your goddaughter," I murmured against his lips, stroking his cheek lightly with my fingertips. "You'll need the practice."

Edward's eyes shot open and pulled back from me, his gaze flickered over my face.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "You _really_ need a lesson in biology. Not _me_. Your brother just got married, remember? And he's already trying to coax Rose into it. Don't tell me that you don't intend on holding your niece or nephew."

His body relaxed infinitesimally and he let out a heavy breath. "All right, we'll go. _Later_."

**x-x-x**

Edward was visibly tense when we returned to the hospital a few hours later, slowing his steps as we came closer to Alice's room until he stopped completely. "Come on, Bella. This is ridiculous. Does this _need_ to happen right now?"

"No, _you're_ being ridiculous. Now knock it off. You're leaving in a little over a week, and you're not going to waste _any_ time," I replied as I stood at her door, pointing toward it. "Front and center, soldier."

"You're a barrel of laughs," he retorted sarcastically at my smirk, taking a deep breath before knocking lightly on the door.

Jasper appeared in the doorway, motioning us in and raising an eyebrow at me when Edward remained stationary. His face blanched slightly as his eyes focused across the room where Alice was now sitting up, appearing far more rested, and cradling the pink swaddled infant in her arms.

The situation would have been comical if not for the level of discomfort in Edward's features. I couldn't understand it; he'd been prepared for this, helped paint the nursery and picked out her name with Jasper. He was even excited when they'd asked him to be Sarahlynn's godfather. Yet when it came time for her arrival, Edward was inexplicably anxious, and not as I would have expected him to be. It amazed me that after all this time, I hadn't stopped learning things about this complex man.

I took his hand and led him into the room, his grip tightening on mine rather than loosening as he sat down in the chair beside Alice's bed. Once I broke free, she raised a questioning eyebrow as I lifted the baby into my arms, Sarahlynn's blue-grey eyes moving around the room.

"Hold out your arms, Edward." He took a deep breath and held his hands out in front of him stiffly. I raised an eyebrow at his awkward position, almost resembling a forklift, and shook my head. "You'll need to bend them a little."

I guided his arm into position, laying the baby in the crook of his elbow. She gazed up at him and her lower lip began to tremble, seconds before a stuttering cry erupted from her. "What's wrong with her?" he asked, his eyes widening. "Bella, please just take her."

I shook my head and moved behind him, resting my hands on his rigid shoulders. "You need to relax, baby. I bet you'd be crying, too, if you were laying on a two by four," I whispered against his cheek, kissing it gently as my fingers began massaging his neck. I could feel the tension very slowly loosening in his muscles and gradually, the baby's cries began to quiet as he lightly patted her back with his hand beneath her. "See, you're better at this than you thought. And don't worry, they don't bite… yet."

Edward's eyes turned to meet mine in a sarcastic glare before returning to the little girl. He tentatively brought his hand to rest above the blanket, gently brushing the skin of her wrist until her fist reflexively opened, closing again around his index finger. His breath audibly caught in his throat and I knelt beside his chair, watching his face.

His expression was different from anything I'd ever seen, or expected, for that matter. His eyes were unmoving from hers, while his thumb ran slowly over the back of the tiny hand that wrapped around his finger. And looking down at little Sarahlynn, now calm and staring up the man cradling her in his arms, an identical fascination reflected back from her.

They were enamored with each other.

I glanced over to Alice, whose amused smile was now evident on her features, shaking her head. "I think I may have lost my man to your daughter."

The entire room laughed, except for Edward.

**x-x-x**

Later that evening, Edward and I lay on his bed, my head resting on his chest while his hand ran slowly along my arm. He'd been almost completely silent since we'd left the hospital, but I could see his mind running with every flicker of his eyes and each rapid beat of his heart beneath my ear.

"You're worrying me." I finally broke the silence, unable to endure the weight of it surrounding us any longer. "Are you mad?"

Edward breathed in deeply through his nose, causing a dramatic rise of his chest under my head and I looked up at him worriedly. "No, I'm not mad. Why should I be?"

"Because I kinda forced you into it," I replied, feeling the nervous crease on my forehead form and resting my chin on my bent arm on his chest.

"Well, yeah, you did," he agreed, nodding his head and avoiding my gaze as he stared at the ceiling. "I don't _like_ being forced into things when I'm not receiving orders, but sometimes, it's needed."

Edward's eyes met mine and he traced his fingers along my jaw, guiding me toward him for a kiss. I smiled in relief and lowered my head back onto his chest, losing myself in the sound of his heartbeat again. "I thought it was important."

"It was, you were right," he replied, sliding his arms around me and pressing his lips to my forehead. "I don't have time to waste. This time next week, I'll be getting ready to leave. And who knows when I'll be back. I don't want to have any regrets. So thank you for that, Bella."

I smiled and gently kissed his chest. "You're welcome, baby."

"You know what I _do_ regret though?" he murmured into my hair and I hummed in response. "I never did get to take that dress off you."

"Edward!" I groaned with a laugh as he rolled toward me and silenced me with his lips, but I welcomed it. With the craziness of the last couple of days, there had been so little time just to be us, and as selfish and ridiculous as it seemed, I'd missed him.

I slid my arms around his shoulders and pulled him closer, tugging his lip gently with my teeth. I felt the rumble of his chest on mine and the evidence of his arousal pressing against my hip. I wanted him desperately, and there was never enough time for us just to enjoy each other.

I knew he felt it as well, from his own confession to it just a few nights before.

_Bella, you have no idea how many times I've laid awake at night all these weeks, wishing you were even one year older. That by this time next year, I could have you closer to me instead of thousands of miles away._

Why the hell did I have to be only seventeen, with nearly two years of high school left? Everything I wanted in life was right there in my arms, and I knew I would wait forever for him if I had to. But imagining being able to wake up to him every morning and go to sleep beside him every night made me long for it more than I ever thought possible. And the reminder that my time with him was quickly running out again caused my mind to run rampant.

"Damn it," Edward muttered against my lips and a resigned groan escaped him as he slowly broke the kiss and glanced down at his watch. "I gotta get you home, baby. It's a school night, remember?"

"My dad's not home. I can be a few minutes late," I mumbled as I kissed along his jaw, refusing to release him from my hold.

Edward gently squeezed my hip with his hand and shook his head, lifting it to look at me. "I'd like to stay on the Chief's good side, baby. It would do us no good to have you grounded for my last few days here."

I groaned and he chuckled, brushing my lips gently with his before rising up from the bed and taking my hands. "You're an evil tease, you know that, right?"

Edward pulled me up to stand in front of him, sliding his arms around my waist, and kissing my forehead. "It won't be like this forever, Bella. Just remember that."

I gazed up at him and nodded, pressing my lips to his briefly. "Not soon enough."

We walked downstairs and said goodnight to his parents before heading out to the car. My eyes remained on my hands in my lap the entire ride home, my mind racing in a million different directions.

Each good night was going to grow infinitely harder as the next week passed, and then I would be without him for at least seven and a half more weeks. It was like preparing for Basic all over again, only this time, I knew exactly what I was up against.

Deep down, I knew it would be different. He'd be able to call and possibly even visit occasionally, once he accumulated leave time, but there would still be thousands of miles between us for the remainder of the time.

"What's going on in there?" Edward's voice cut through my thoughts and I looked up suddenly, realizing we'd parked in my driveway. His hand ran gently over my hair and his eyes gazed over at me worriedly.

"Nothing. Just a little more tired than I thought, I guess," I replied, leaning over to kiss him gently. "I'll see you in the morning?"

Edward nodded, eyeing me in speculation. "I'll be here bright and early."

"Okay, good night," I spoke hurriedly and reached for the door handle, only for his hand to stop me by taking my arm. "What?"

"Aren't you forgetting something?" he asked with a raised brow.

I smiled and moved toward him again, pressing my lips to his firmly and tracing his face with my fingertips as I pulled away. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he whispered back, releasing his hold on me as I stepped out of the car and raced into the house.

I'd barely gotten my coat off and a pair of comfortable yoga pants on before I settled into my desk chair and powered up my computer.

There would be very little in the way of sleep coming my way that night.

**x-x-x**

The following afternoon, I came home from school to find my father at the kitchen table, sipping a coffee and already dressed in uniform. "Hey, you're up early."

He looked up at me and shrugged, setting his cup down on the table. "Just couldn't sleep. Thought I might head to the station early tonight, get some work done. No plans with Edward this afternoon?"

I drew in a deep breath and crossed the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the fridge, and then sat down across from him. "Later on. He's got family stuff," I started and he nodded, returning to his coffee. "Dad? I was wondering if I could talk to you about something. If you have time, I mean. If you don't, it can wait."

My dad's eyes gazed over his cup at me where it paused at his lips for a moment, and then finally lowered. "Bells, you know I always have time for you. Though something tells me I'm not going to like what I hear."

"Probably not," I replied honestly, releasing a heavy breath. "But I'm not pregnant, or failing school, or anything like that."

"Okay," he said in a drawn out tone, folding his hands in front of him. "Then shoot."

I slid my chair closer to the table and cleared my throat, mentally preparing myself for the conversation I was about to begin. "Well, you know how I've been taking AP classes. Trying to get a jump start on getting into a good college and all that."

"Yes," he replied cautiously, his gaze locked on me.

"Well, it turns out that by the end of this year, I'll only be three credits short for graduation. And I've been looking into this online program. It's completely accredited and I would be able to transfer my classes and credits, as well as take the remaining required classes," I paused, watching his face, which was now in a stunned silence. "And I could graduate _this_ June instead of next."

My father's eyes widened and he began shaking his head. "No. You're going to finish your education the way it was intended. Not rush through it all just to run off with your boyfriend. Did Edward put this idea in your head?"

I sighed heavily, watching my father's mistrust for Edward almost visibly seeping back in. "No. He doesn't even know that I've so much as considered it. And it's not just about running away with my boyfriend—"

"Isn't it?" my father interrupted, folding his arms over his chest as he leaned back in his chair. "Baby, it's not that I don't want you to grow up, just that I don't want you to grow up too _fast_. High school is more than just a big building and a bunch of classes you're forced to go to every day. And you'll regret missing out on it someday. And what about college?"

"I'm still thinking about it. I really have no idea what I want to do with my life yet and I was planning on taking a year off anyway after graduation to figure it out," I replied, moving into the seat right beside him. "Dad, I'm not in the simplest of situations here with my relationship, but I'm not throwing my life away for it, either. I'm still going to get my education."

My dad leaned his head back, running his hands over his face roughly before folding them behind his neck. "Bella—"

I watched as his face contorted painfully, closing his eyes and drawing in a slow breath. I reached my hand over to rest on his arm and swallowed hard. "I'm not Mom. I'm not going to regret this. Once Edward finishes AIT, there's no telling where he'll be stationed. It could be closer, it could be farther away. He could be in another country, for all I know."

"That's not a reason to rush this," he replied, shaking his head. "If you two are meant to be together, then it will sort itself out in time. He chose this life, not you."

"But I _did_ choose this life, by choosing to be with him," I retorted, waving my arms out.

"Bella, I'm not discussing this anymore. The answer is no. Now I have to get to work," he said sharply, standing up from the table and taking a final sip of coffee.

My head fell onto my arms as I listened to him leave the kitchen, followed shortly by a harsh closing of the front door. Releasing a groan of frustration, I rose from my seat and stormed up to my room, tossing my bag roughly onto my bed. I hadn't expected my dad to be thrilled about the idea, but I had been hoping that he would at least understand my reasoning behind it.

Later that evening, I sat with Edward in the living room with my head resting on his shoulder silently. His hand ran comfortingly along my arm and his lips pressed against my hair.

"He's right, you know," Edward said suddenly and I sat up abruptly, gaping at him in disbelief. "You need to do this the right way, not sacrifice the entire high school experience because I'm in the Army."

I stood abruptly, driving my hands into my hair and pacing the floor. "I really thought you of all people would understand this. I'm not even halfway through my junior year, and then I still have another year after that. And for what? For three lousy credits?"

"Baby, it's more than the credits and you know that," he replied calmly, leaning forward on his knees. "What about your friends? And prom? Hell, even senior skip day, for crying out loud. These are things you'll never get back."

"What friends? I have Angela and Mike, and they will still be my friends whether I'm there or not," I stated emphatically, my hands dropping from my hair and falling sharply against my thighs. "And prom? Are you _kidding_ me? Not only is that a disaster waiting to happen for someone like me, but my date will be thousands of miles away. Yes, that makes _so_ much sense."

"Baby, you realize you're sounding a bit like a spoiled child?" Edward said, standing up and moving toward me. "We both knew what my joining the Army entailed. I would love to be closer to you, but I have my obligations and you have yours. We have plenty of time for everything else."

I folded my arms over my chest as his hands rested on my shoulders, avoiding his gaze. "I wouldn't be foregoing my responsibilities by taking on a harder workload to graduate early. You said yourself that you wished I was one year older and could be with you next year instead of two years from now."

"But you're not," he replied softly, but his voice was firm. I finally brought my eyes to his and he took my face between his hands. "I love you, Bella. You know I do. And I want you to do what's best for yourself. I'm still going to be here whether you graduate this June or next. Why the rush?"

"Because I miss you. You're going to be on the other side of the country. And if I'm lucky, I'll get to see you, what—one weekend every few months? Fly in Friday night, spend Saturday with me, and then leave again Sunday? Occasional phone calls?" I closed my eyes, resting my forehead against his chest and felt his arms slide around me. "Knowing what to expect and living through it are very different things. You think you're the only one that feels that way?"

I felt him inhale deeply and I turned my head to press my cheek to the front of his shirt, hugging him tightly around the waist. "I know I'm not, baby. I just don't want to see you rushing into something that you might regret in the long run, even if your father _did_ approve."

"Edward," I started and then lifted my chin to look up at him, shaking my head. "I could never regret the choice to be closer to you. Next September, I'll be eighteen and we could be together as we want to be. We could even get married, and never be away from each other again."

"Married at eighteen? Aren't you worried about what the vultures will think?" he asked with a raised brow, and I shook my head. "Rumors will fly, you know. That I knocked up the police chief's daughter and I'm being forced to marry you with a gun to my balls."

"I couldn't care less, even if that _were_ the case. Everyone that matters would know the truth, and take what the 'vultures' say with a grain of salt." My hands ran over his back as I gazed up at him and I brushed his lips gently with mine. "I know it seems like I'm trying to rush it, and without my dad's approval, it's impossible since I'm still underage. But the sooner I can be with you, the better."

Edward's face lowered to mine and sealed my lips with his, holding me more securely. I melted against him, gripping his back as I sucked lightly on his bottom lip. "We have to be patient, Bella."

His murmured words against my mouth caused me to sigh, my hands lowering to rest on his sides and nodded. "I know. It's just hard."

"I couldn't agree more, but I want to do this right," he whispered, gently kissing my forehead. "Watch you graduate from high school. Ask your father for his blessing and propose to you the right way. Have a real wedding and honeymoon, not a quickie elopement."

"Bit old fashioned, isn't it? You do realize we're in the twenty-first century, right?" I replied with a chuckle, gently kissing his chest.

"I know. My father raised me all wrong, didn't he?" He laughed as his lips pecked mine, his hands clasping my face between them. I listened to his slow, even breaths as his forehead rested against my own, the intimacy of the moment hanging heavy in the air. "No regrets, Bella."

I opened my eyes to look up at him as he repeated the sentiment, feeling his thumbs gently stroking my cheeks. I knew above all else, that was what was the most important to him; that no matter where our road together led, there would be little, if anything, we would ever want to do differently. Running my hands over his back and pressing my body more firmly against him, I kissed him once more. "There won't be," I whispered before my heels lowered to the floor again. "Now I _really_ need to watch this movie for class."

"Wow, is it really that late?" Edward replied in a feigned tone of surprise, jokingly glancing down at his watch.

I narrowed my eyes at him and pulled away, lowering myself onto the couch. "Fine, we can waste an entire evening together. This _is_ part of the 'high school experience', you know."

"Bella, don't act like you don't know 'To Kill a Mockingbird' line for line by now. And it will require a new title if I have to watch it again – 'To Kill an Edward … From Boredom'."

"Well, you could always help me study for my test on Friday, but that would actually require you to _read_ the book," I taunted him with a quirked eyebrow, knowing exactly the reaction I would get.

When he'd been assigned to read the book in his junior year, it was all any of us heard about for at least a month – though definitely not what I'd come to expect. In fact, he was the first person I'd ever met that completely despised the book and only managed a hundred pages of it before relenting and buying the Cliff Notes. And for the first time ever, I'd learned, he barely scraped by with a 'C' for the final exam.

"That would be a firm _no_," he said and sat down beside me with a heavy sigh. I smiled triumphantly and laid my head in his lap, pressing play on the remote to start the movie. "You're a little manipulator, you know that?"

"And you love me anyway." I kept my voice light, hearing him huff behind me but his fingers began to lightly twirl my hair. His arm eventually draped around my shoulders, tracing distractedly along my neck and across my collarbone. The more I attempted to focus on the screen, the more I found myself preoccupied by his touch. "Besides, there are benefits to my knowing this movie so well."

"Oh really?" he retorted sarcastically, his muscles stiffening as I rolled onto my back and trailed my index finger along his waistline.

"My attention can be directed elsewhere without taking the chance of missing something important," I replied, my hand lowering to cup him through his jeans and causing him to suck in a sharp intake of breath. I lifted the front of his shirt and pressed my lips against his abdomen while still massaging his growing erection.

Edward cleared his throat loudly and shifted his hips as I continued to kiss up his chest until I was straddling his lap. "Baby, what about your movie?"

"I'm still listening," I whispered, murmuring lines along with the television in between kisses. His hands came to rest on my waist as I pressed against him, a low rumbling echoing in his chest. "I've missed this, though."

Sealing my lips over his, I slid my arms around his neck while his gripped around my waist, pulling me closer as our kiss deepened. Our bodies rocked together, days' worth of pent up frustration unleashing; I didn't think it was possible to want him more. I felt him attempt to take over and I squeezed my thighs around his hips. "Bella—"

His groaning of my name sent a shiver down my spine and I slid back off his lap to stand, grabbing the remote and shutting off the movie. "I already have this exam aced."

I took his hands and pulled him up from the couch, guiding him toward the stairs and up to my room. Once the door closed behind us, I lifted his shirt from his body and tossed it to the floor. Running my fingers along the muscled contours of his chest, I pushed him back onto my bed and climbed on top of him.

With one final brush of my lips against his, I sat up and began slowly unbuttoning my shirt with a hint of a smirk. I watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed hard, his gaze in rapt attention as the garment slid from my shoulders and onto his legs.

Edward sighed as I leaned forward and brushed my lips over his jaw, groaning when I nibbled his chin. With another desperate sound, he tried to roll over, but I laughed and tightened my legs around him again. Linking my fingers between his, I pinned his hands to the bed and kissed him gently. "You don't always have to be in control, you know."

His eyes closed and I slid down his body, finally releasing his hands to unbutton his jeans and began guiding his clothing from his legs. Standing at the foot of the bed, I removed my pants and crawled back up the bed, laying on top of him in just my bra and panties.

"Fuck, Bella," he rasped, gripping my hips and pressing his length against my abdomen as I kissed his neck.

I sat back on his thighs and took him into my hand, watching his eyes flicker as I began slowly stroking him. Reaching my other arm behind me, I unclasped my bra and his gaze returned to me as the straps fell from my shoulders, exposing my breasts to him.

"I'd tease you a little longer, but I want you too much," I groaned, removing my bra completely and sliding out of my panties.

Positioning myself on top of him, I felt the warmth of him between my legs and his hands sliding up my thighs. My gaze remained locked with his as I reached between us and guided him inside me, shivering as he filled me. It seemed like forever since I'd been with him this way rather than the four days it actually _had_ been. And I began committing him to memory all over again.

The way his arms and shoulders flexed as he held my hips while I moved above him. His breath leaving his body in a shudder as I clenched around him the way he liked. His eyes following the movement of my body, while I observed the war battling within him to not flip me over and take me relentlessly. His jaw tensing as he began reaching his climax.

"Baby, I'm gonna come," he said in a tight tone minutes later, his fingers gripping my sides in restraint.

I was close, but not quite there and I was sure that I wouldn't reach it before he did. I nodded and slowly reached between my legs, attempting to coax an orgasm out of myself as well. A loud moan escaped him and his gaze focused on the ministrations of my hand. The knowledge of him watching me pleasure myself for the first time sent an unexpected thrill through me, rather than the discomfort I would have imagined.

My head fell back with a sharp gasp as a rush of heat flooded from the pit of my stomach to my cheeks and my body began to tremble. I slowed my fingers' movement to a gradual stop as the sensations dissipated. When I brought my eyes back to his, I found them hungry and urgent. With barely enough time to register his expression, I felt his arm pull me down to him and he rolled me over. His lips devoured mine as he held my leg to his side, thrusting twice and groaning into my mouth as he finally released.

Panting heavily, his forehead fell to the pillow beside my head while my fingers traced along the light sheen of sweat coating his neck. "That … was by far … the hottest thing I've _ever_ seen."

Smiling, I pressed my lips to his collarbone and tightened my arms around him. "Something to remember me by, then?"

Edward's head rose to look down at me, shaking his head and kissing me gently. "Not that I need anything else," he panted, sliding his hand down my side. "But that will _definitely_ make _numerous_ lonely nights just a little warmer."

"Good," I whispered, raising my hand to grip around the back of his neck to pull his lips back to mine. That one statement filled me with such a tremendous sense of gratification; even miles away, I could still be there for him in so many ways.

**x-x-x**

Once Edward left for the night, I hopped into the shower and then watched the remainder of the movie in my room until I fell asleep. I woke to the sound of my bedroom door opening, looking up to find my dad standing there appearing strained. He rarely, if ever, checked on me anymore, especially not at four in the morning, and his expression worried me.

"Dad? You okay?" I asked softly and he nodded, entering the room and sitting down on the edge of my bed. "What's up?"

He was silent for several long moments, staring at his folded hands and taking slow breaths. "All right. You can do the program."

My eyes widened and I sat up in bed, completely convinced that I was still dreaming. "What?"

"Look, I've done a lot of thinking tonight. I went into work early tonight because of a case we're working on. A girl, about your age, went missing a few days ago, and her parents are frantic. She ran away from home, and they have no idea where she's gone." His voice was tense and his body rigid, the tired lines around his eyes seemed to deepen, causing him to appear much older than his thirty-five years. "I can't even begin to imagine what that would be like if that were you. You're all I've got, kiddo. And I'm not going to push you away because of something ridiculous. Maybe I've gone soft, but I'm not going to lose my daughter. So, I'll sign whatever you need me to."

I rose to kneel behind him, wrapping my arms around his chest and was surprised when his hand gripped one of mine in a desperate motion. Resting my chin on his shoulder, I hugged him and felt the urge to cry at the emotion behind his words. "You're not gonna lose me, Dad. No matter what."

His hold on my hand tightened infinitesimally and his head turned, gently kissing my temple. "I love you, Bella. You may not believe that sometimes, but I do. I only want what's best for you."

"I know that. I always have," I replied, pulling away to sit beside him and his eyes finally met mine. "You're my dad. You don't need to constantly tell me for me to know. And I love you, too. I won't disappoint you. I'll even get a job to help out or something."

"No, I want you to focus on your studies. That's all that's important right now," he stated firmly, shaking his head. "Just promise me that you won't become a social recluse like your old man?"

I raised my eyebrow and we laughed. "I think we both know it's a little late for that."

"Okay, go back to sleep. We'll go to the school a little later and sign you out, and you can tell me more about this program, all right?" he said and I nodded, laying back in bed as he covered me over again like he did when I was little. "When did you go and grow up on me, huh?"

"Sometime in the last seventeen years," I joked back as he kissed my forehead, rolling onto my side as he began to leave the room. "Dad? That girl. Is she from Forks?"

He paused in the doorway and his eyes grew sad again, nodding as he looked at me. "Yeah. It's Jessica Stanley."


	6. Never Gets Easier

**Don't Ever Forget 6 ~ Never Gets Easier**

The following week, Edward and I sat in Jasper and Alice's living room, after having one last dinner with his family. It was an emotional night, with tears freely flowing even by Rosalie, and he'd felt the need to come to one place he'd found the most calming, almost a sanctuary, in the passing days—there on the couch, holding Sarahlynn.

Gone was the man from the week before, that even the _thought_ of holding the newborn was a terrifying one. In his place was the man who sat beside me at that moment, whispering softly to the baby in his arms and completely oblivious to the room around him. And while it was a relief to see him so at ease with her, I was also anxious for some time with him as well before he left the next day, knowing I probably wouldn't see him again until Christmas.

I stood to leave the room, giving him a moment alone with Sarahlynn and joining Alice in the kitchen, only to find her sniffling. "You okay?"

"Yeah, just stupid shifting hormones," Alice replied with a dismissive wave, turning back to making the bottle for the baby as more tears fell. "I'll never understand how you do this, Bella. Just the thought of him not being around here feels so weird, doesn't it?"

I dabbed the corner of my eye with my fingertip and nodded, sitting down at the table. "Yeah, it does. But I know I'll see him again soon, and hopefully before too long, I won't be so far away from him and I'll never have to do this again. And maybe you guys can come visit once in a while."

"Have you told him yet?" Alice asked in a whisper, lowering herself into the chair across from me and I shook my head. "Bella, you _need_ to tell him."

"I know," I groaned, burying my hands in my hair and leaning forward on my elbows. "I've tried, but this week has just been so crazy, you know? With him getting ready to leave again, and everything that happened with Jessica. There just hasn't been much of an opportunity to just sit down and talk."

"I can't believe that girl was that damn stupid," Alice quipped, rolling her eyes. "Running away with _James_ of all people, and thinking she wouldn't get caught trying to cross the border? She's only seventeen, for crying out loud!"

"Well, kidnapping charges will definitely serve him right," I added, but she resumed her pointed stare at me. "I will! It's just that, you know he wasn't exactly thrilled about the idea before. You know, 'Missing out on normal high school experiences' and all that. It would just be so much easier if I knew he'd be okay with it."

"Bella, you know Edward. He's ridiculously stubborn at times," she said, taking my hand across the table and I rolled my eyes. "But he's not completely illogical, either. This is the only way the two of you will be able to be together anytime soon, and it's not like you're dropping out to run off to Maryland. And call me crazy, but I think Sarahlynn has made him rethink a lot."

As if on cue, the baby's cry echoed out from the next room and Alice grabbed the bottle from the shelf, hurrying out of the kitchen. I followed out a few seconds later, watching Edward place Sarahlynn in Alice's arms and gently kiss the baby's head.

"I'll see you soon, baby girl," he whispered, and then gave Alice a brief hug and shook Jasper's hand, saying goodbye before turning to take mine. "Ready?"

I nodded and told Alice that I'd call her the next day as I made my way out the door with Edward.

An hour later, we were sitting on my couch, his arms around me and holding me against him silently. He suddenly drew in a deep breath, running his hand along my arm. "I really didn't want to give her up tonight."

I tilted my face up to look at him to see his eyes closed and his head rested back against the couch. I kissed his jaw and slid my arm around his waist more, and his hold around me tightened as well. "You'll see her for Christmas."

"And she won't remember who the hell I am," he replied with a sigh, his eyes opening and locking on the ceiling. "Leaving you behind is hard, but I know that no matter what, you won't forget me. But her … she's only a week old and …"

Edward's words trailed off and his gaze shifted to me as I placed my hand on his cheek. "And she's surrounded by people who love her, _and_ you. No one will let her forget you."

My lips rose to meet his and his fingers threaded in my hair, his other arm lifting me to sit across his lap. As he kissed me passionately, my conversation with Alice earlier in the evening filled my mind and I slid my fingers between our lips, parting mine from his to gaze at him. "Edward, we need to talk."

"And there's the four singular words that instantly strike fear into the heart of any man," he whispered with a sigh, opening his eyes to look at me. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's _wrong_. I just need to tell you something," I replied softly, shifting on his lap to face him and straddling his legs with mine. "My dad and I went to the school on Monday to begin the process of signing me out."

Edward's eyes widened and he pulled his head back a little, as if to look at me more fully. "You _what_? Bella, no. I already told you that I wouldn't have you sacrificing your education for me."

"And _I_ already told _you_ that I'm not sacrificing _anything_. I start my online classes this week and it will still take me until the end of the school year to finish," I explained, hoping to reason with him.

"I thought your dad was against it," Edward sighed, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"He _was_ against it … initially. But after the whole thing with Jessica, we talked and he agreed to let me do it. I didn't coerce him or anything, he came to it on his own. And he's laid down the ground rules, too. I still have to keep my grades up, or he said that he would re-enroll me in Forks High, and I'll have to finish that way anyway. No questions asked," I replied, pulling his hands away from his eyes. "And I wanted to tell you, but there just hasn't been much of an opportunity for us to talk alone this week. Between school and the drama there over Jessica, visiting with your family, and Jasper, Alice and the baby. And I thought this should be something we talked about in private."

"Bella, you know how much I want to be with you. I just wanted to do it in the natural order of things," Edward said, the crease in his forehead deepening as his brow furrowed and his thumb ran over my knuckles. "You have no idea what it would do to me if you ended up resenting me for it in the future."

"I won't, Edward. This was _my_ decision, not yours—"

"Made because of me," he interrupted me, his gaze meeting mine. "If I wasn't in the Army, something like this would have never even crossed your mind."

"Maybe you're right about that," I conceded, sliding along his thighs to move closer to him and sliding my hands around the back of his neck. "But I know in my heart that if I _don't_ do this, who I'll resent more than anyone is myself, for wasting an entire year with you. When there was another way right in front of me. I _know_ I can do this."

"I don't have any doubts about that," Edward replied with an uneasy chuckle, his hands linking behind my back and resting his forehead against mine. I listened as he drew in several slow breaths, and felt his brow gradually relax. "You're really determined to do this, aren't you?"

"Yes," I answered in a firm, yet soft tone while gently tracing my fingers along the back of his neck.

"Promise me something, then," he spoke in a whisper, our eyes meeting again.

"Anything."

"Promise me that you'll at least go to prom," he said with a smirk, and I instantly began shaking my head in protest. "Too late. You already promised 'anything'."

"That was an extremely unfair setup," I grumbled and pushed on his shoulders with my hands, but he held firmly around my waist. "We've talked about this. It's nothing more than a ridiculous high school ritual, full of exceedingly overpriced dresses that no one will ever wear again, and obnoxious asinine behavior."

"And also one of the last chances you'll have to just hang out with your friends and be a teenager, for just one night," he added and I sighed, rolling my eyes—but I knew he was right, as much as I didn't want to admit it. "You _might _even have fun, you know. And it would make me happy, too."

I bit back my initial sarcastic retort as I gazed at him, and felt his hands running along my sides. It was obvious that something as simple as a prom was extremely important to him for me to attend, and it really _was_ only one night. "You really suck, you know that, right?"

Edward smirked again and kissed me gently. "I know."

"And you'll be okay with all this if I promise to go?" I asked hopefully.

He released a slow breath before finally nodding. "Yeah, I'll be okay with all this."

"Then I will, if I can. After all, I'm not a student of Forks High as of Monday," I pointed out with a raised eyebrow.

"Nice try. There's always a way," Edward whispered, pressing his lips to mine again, tightening his arms around my waist and turning us to lie back on the couch. His body settled on top of me and I sighed in contentment; both at the feel of having him against me, and the relief that everything seemed to be coming together for us. Even though I had to let him go the following day, I had the knowledge that the instances of it in the future had just dwindled dramatically.

The sound of crunching gravel and the familiar rumble of my father's cruiser outside caused us to leap off the couch, straightening our clothes until he entered through the front door. His gaze met us and he nodded. "Hey, kids."

"Good evening, sir," Edward replied calmly, and I wanted to glare at him for being so relaxed as my heart continued to pound frantically.

Instead, my gaze remained on my dad as he hung up his jacket and gun belt, indicating this was no brief stop home, and I noticed the glossed look of his eyes. "Dad, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I think I'm just coming down with that stomach bug that's been going around. I'm just gonna head to bed and get some sleep," he replied, glancing to Edward. "Good to see you again, Edward. Take care of yourself out there in Maryland."

"Thank you, Chief Swan," Edward replied.

"Good night, Dad," I called after him and he waved as he made his way up the stairs. I sighed and turned back to face Edward, sliding my arms around his waist. "Well, I guess that puts the nix on the rest of our plans for the evening. If it wasn't for the fact that my dad _never_ gets sick and he didn't just look like walking death, I might be a little more annoyed and think he might be spying on us."

Edward laughed and wrapped his arms around me, kissing my forehead. "And we've got plenty of time for all that, Bella. And soon."

I closed my eyes with a smile, hugging him tightly against me. "I can't wait. I love you so much."

"I love you, too, baby," he replied and pressed his lips to mine all too briefly. "I should probably go anyway. Gotta finish getting ready to leave and get some sleep. Early morning tomorrow."

"Don't remind me," I whined and ran my hands over his chest. "Although, I guess it wouldn't be good for you to get contaminated with germs right before you go, huh?"

"No, that would definitely not be good. But I'll pick you up in the morning around seven," Edward said and I nodded as he took my hand. I walked with him to the door, tugging him back to me for one last kiss before he stepped outside and made his way out to his car.

I stood watching as he pulled out and honked once before driving away, sighing as I mentally reminded myself that come June, we wouldn't have to go through the painful goodbyes anymore.

**x-x-x**

"You sure you'll be okay, Dad? You don't need anything else before I go?" I asked my father for at least the fifth time in as many minutes, as I brought a blanket into the living room where he sat in his recliner, wrapped tightly in his bathrobe. "You don't look so good."

"Bella, I'll be fine. It's only a stomach bug, and I'll probably sleep the entire time you're gone. I just overworked myself last week," Charlie replied, sighing as I tucked the blanket around him. "Come on, quit fussing over your old man. You're going to be late."

"All right. But if you're not better by tomorrow, you're going to the doctor, whether you like it or not," I stated firmly and he turned his head to give me a sarcastic glare. "Do not even look at me like that. I mean it. And don't forget, I got my stubborn streak from _you_."

"Okay, all right. Now, go on. Edward's waiting for you," he groaned, shooing me away with his hand and I hesitantly walked to the door, looking back at him again as I put my jacket on. "Isabella Marie Swan, go!"

I stepped out the door and hurried to Edward's waiting car, releasing a heavy breath as I lowered into the passenger seat.

"Everything okay?" Edward asked in concern as he shifted into reverse.

"You mean _besides_ the fact that you're leaving today and I had to force medicine down my father's throat like an unruly child because he has a fever of a hundred and two? Yeah, everything's great," I groaned sarcastically, thrusting my head against the headrest.

"Maybe you should stay here with him instead?" Edward stopped at the end of the driveway, looking at me questioningly.

I quickly shook my head and rested my hand on his leg. "No, it'll be fine. He hates it when _anyone_ hovers over him constantly, and I won't be gone long anyway. He'd feel bad if I missed seeing you off to stay home with him. Besides, he probably would have thrown me out the door himself, if he could have."

Edward chuckled softly and pulled out, beginning our journey toward the bus depot. With every tree and structure that passed, I fought harder against the tears that were beginning to form and I felt his hand come to rest over mine. "Don't cry, baby. It's not goodbye for long."

"Long enough," I mumbled as his fingers slid between mine and I held them tightly. "It seems like you just got here and now, you're going to be even farther away."

"I know," he sighed and lifted my hand to brush his lips against my palm, then lowering it again to his lap. "But you'll be busy with all your school stuff and you'll barely even notice I'm gone."

"Edward," I whimpered, leaning over the space between us to rest my head on his shoulder.

"Okay, maybe not 'barely notice'. But I'll call you every chance I get and Christmas is just a little over a month away. And we'll have more time for us then," he replied, kissing the top of my head and turning his attention back to the road.

All too soon, we were pulling into that familiar bus depot, where I'd let him go nearly three months before. And I had to walk in there and do it again. It was hard to imagine that it ever got any easier to see him go when it felt almost more crushing at that moment than it had in August. Even with the promise of phone calls and seeing him again the following month, it did not change the fact that, in the meantime, he would be more than two thousand miles away, on the other side of the country. Where I couldn't touch him, kiss him, feel him, smell him—nothing.

And there was also the fact that once he stepped onto that bus, I would be alone. Carlisle and Esme had remained home that morning, allowing me and Edward the chance to say our own goodbyes.

We walked through the terminal together, my hand clinging tightly to his until we were standing in front of the bus. I put on my best smile for him as he turned toward me and slid his arms around my waist.

"Thank you," Edward murmured and closed his eyes, resting his forehead against mine. "I'll be carrying that smile all the way to Maryland with me, and thinking about it all day during your ceremony on Tuesday. I wish I could be there, but I know you'll be great and I'm sure I'll get lots of pictures from Alice."

I ran my hands along his arms to his shoulders, lifting onto my toes to brush his lips with mine before pressing my body to his as I held him securely against me to hide the tears falling down my cheeks. The bus beside us rumbled to life, indicating its imminent departure, and I dried my face on his jacket and finally looked up to him. "See you soon?"

Edward's forehead creased and an unexpected pained look came across his face as he cupped my cheek and kissed me. "Yes. See you soon. I love you."

"I love you, too," I whispered back, finding more determination to hold myself together in the slight cracks in his armor. "Call me tonight?"

His thumb stroked my cheek and he nodded, kissing me once more before pulling back and setting his car keys in my palm. My heart was beating like the wings of a hummingbird, watching him lift his bag onto his shoulder again, taking my hand and pressing his lips to my knuckles. I took a steadying breath as he walked to the bus and stepped onto it, waving to me from the window when he took his seat. I kept the smile on my face for him until I was sure he could no longer see me as the large vehicle disappeared from the terminal and I ran to his car. I buried my face in my arms against the steering wheel as soon as I was inside, finally allowing the sobs to overtake my body.

A knock on the window startled me, and I quickly turned my head to find Jake's eyes staring back at me. I rolled it down and took a deep breath, embarrassed to be caught in a moment of weakness, even if it _was_ only Jake. He leaned on the window frame with his forearms, tilting his head slightly as his hand brushed my hair back from my face. "I heard today was the day. I thought you might need a friend."

I felt my throat tighten with restrained sobs and opened the door, stepping out of the car and into his waiting arms. "You have absolutely _no_ idea, Jake."

Jake's hand ran along my hair as I cried into his shirt, rocking me back and forth in a comforting motion. "Come on, I'll drive you home."

I sniffled, shaking my head and lifting it from his chest. "No, I'll be fine. Besides, Edward would kill me if he knew you drove his car, and then he'd kill you."

"I think he'd kill me faster if I let you drive in this condition, and something happened to you and the car. I'm pretty sure he'll understand, Bella," Jake replied, nodding toward the car. I sighed and lowered back into it, climbing across the seats and into the passenger side, reluctantly handing him the keys as he sat beside me.

**x-x-x**

I turned my head to look over my shoulder toward the front door, hearing Charlie's heavy footsteps from inside hurrying up the stairs, and then brought my gaze back to Jake. "I swear, he'd be better off to just stay in his room. He'd be so much closer to the bathroom, then."

"But that much further away from the flat screen. Gotta think like a man, Bells," Jake laughed, shaking his head.

"Yeah, well, last I checked, I had the wrong equipment for that," I grumbled, running my index finger along the rim of the Coke can in my hand. "Though if I didn't, I wouldn't be going through this right now."

Jake's arm wrapped around my shoulders and I leaned my head against him. "Yeah, but then look at the pickings you'd have for girlfriends," he teased with a mock shudder, but it succeeded in its purpose—I laughed. "Come on, Bella. You're not gonna go into that emo girl mode, where you eat chocolate and ice cream for days on end, while watching sappy romances with a box of tissues, are you?"

"Now who's being the melodramatic one? We didn't break up, Jake," I replied, rolling my eyes and taking a sip of soda.

"Exactly, you _didn't_ break up. But you're sitting out here in the freezing cold—"

"_That_ is to avoid as much of the plague as possible," I interrupted him, pointing behind me to the house.

"But you can't forget that you still have people _here_, too. People who love you and will miss you when _you_ are the one thousands of miles away," he continued and I looked up to him quickly, to which he shrugged. "News travels fast around here, and even makes it out to the rez sometimes."

"I know, you probably think I'm crazy, and I'm way too young and making a big mistake," I replied, rolling my eyes as I repeated Mike's words from earlier in the week, when I'd told him and Angela of my plans.

"No, actually, I don't," Jake said, taking me by complete surprise. "It's obvious how much Cullen loves you, while definitely still surprising, with the way he used to be. And how much you love him."

"Are you two _ever_ going to just refer to each other as 'Edward' and 'Jacob'?" I asked in annoyance, thinking back over the time I'd known Jacob, and never once had they only used each other's first names.

Jake burst out laughing and shook his head. "Probably not. Some old habits just never die." His arm lowered from around me and his hand took mine between us. I stiffened with the action, but he held me, firm but still gentle, in place. "He loves you, and I know that. But he's definitely not the only one in the world who does."

"Jake," I whispered with an exasperated sigh, pulling back from him more.

"What? Oh God, no!" he replied in realization, his nose wrinkling slightly at the bridge. "You're like a kid sister to me, Swan."

I released a breath of relief, feeling more at ease with him and resting my head on his shoulder. "Well, thank goodness for that," I said with a slight chuckle, sliding my arm around his and hugging it tightly. "It's not just all that, Jake. I mean, yeah, I miss him and it was _really_ hard to let him go today. But now, not only will Edward not be there on Tuesday, what if my dad can't go because he's sick? And Emmett's car will be in the shop until Thursday, and Rose will be watching Sarahlynn while Jasper is at work, so what if Alice can't go, either? I can't get through this by myself, Jake. I just can't."

I was uncharacteristically hysterical by the end of my rant, and it even made _me_ a little nervous. Tears began forming in my eyes as his massive hand rose to cradle the side of my head and he gently kissed my forehead while I tightened my grip around his arm. "You won't be alone, Bella. I'll go, if you'd like."

"You would?" I asked, raising my eyes to his and he nodded. I offered him a small smile in return and resumed my embrace around his arm. "Thanks. That means a lot to me."

"But first," he said, patting my knee with his hand. "You need to get your scrawny ass inside before you catch your death of pneumonia , and that award is given posthumously. And I gotta go meet up with some friends."

"Very funny, Hulk boy," I replied as he stood and took my hands, pulling me off the steps and into his arms. I hadn't quite realized how cold I actually was until I felt Jake's warmth surrounding me, and I pressed my cheek more firmly against his chest. The weather in Forks had been crazy that season, and it felt more like January than November. "Okay, yeah. I'm freezing. I'm gonna go inside."

"Okay, give me a call if you need me on Tuesday," he started with a smile, tapping my elbow lightly with his hand before turning to walk away.

"Hey, Jake?" I called out after him and he stopped to look back at me. "You think you could come anyway? The more friendly faces, the better, ya know?"

Jake gave me a broad smile and nodded. "You bet. I'll see you then."

"Okay, thanks. Be careful." I watched him wave over his shoulder as he walked down my driveway until my attention was distracted by the shrill ringing of the telephone inside. I ran inside to grab it, my teeth chattering more insistently as my body adjusted to the warmth of the house. "Hello?"

"Hi," an uncertain, female voice responded and I furrowed my brow. "Is Charles there?"

My eyes widened and shot toward the stairs—no one _ever_ called my dad 'Charles'. "Um, he's not available at the moment. Can I take a message?"

"Is this Bella?" I inhaled sharply in surprise, unable to conjure a response to that. "I'm Sue Clearwater. I met you briefly at the wedding last week?"

"Oh, hi," I replied, still unsure of what to say to her. "Um, my dad's kinda sick right now, so he won't be coming to the meeting tonight."

"Oh no! Is he okay?" she asked with genuine worry in her tone.

"Yeah, just came home with a bit of a stomach bug last night."

"Okay, so that's why he didn't call," she said, seemingly to herself, pausing briefly before speaking again. "Well, tell him that I called and I'll be by to see him later. Thank you, Bella."

"You're welcome," I replied tentatively, and we exchanged goodbyes. I slowly rested the phone back in its cradle, my eyes returning to the stairs in confusion. I slowly made my way up, one step at a time, until I came to the bathroom door, knocking lightly on the wood. "Dad?"

He hummed in acknowledgement and I heard the faucet of the sink turn on.

"Who's this Sue Clearwater, and since when do you have women offering to come visit you?"

The water shut off quickly and the door cracked open, revealing my father's insipid face. "Why?"

"Well, she just called and said she'd be by to see you later. And you didn't call her last night?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

My dad shook his head slowly, making his way down the hall toward his bedroom and mumbling under his breath so low that I couldn't hear him. Once he'd laid back on his bed, with me standing over him, he looked up at me and sighed. "She's my grief support sponsor."

"You brought your sponsor to the _wedding_?" I exclaimed, and I watched my father's face tinge slightly with color as he attempted to clear his throat. "Oh no. She's not just your sponsor, is she?"

His eyes focused on the ceiling as he took a slow breath, and finally brought them over to me. "No, she's not."


	7. Our Little Bubble

**Don't Ever Forget 7 ~ Our Little Bubble**

"So, your dad has a lady friend? Way to go, Chief Swan," Edward's voice rang in my ear and I groaned into my pillow in response. "Bella, this is a good thing. Don't you think your dad deserves to finally have a girlfriend?"

"No, no. Not a 'good thing.' If he has a girlfriend, why has it been such a big secret? And girlfriends mean s-e-x, and… just no."

"Baby, I think we outgrew spelling out the word in middle school. It's okay to say sex," Edward chuckled softly.

"Ah! Edward!" I yelled followed by a pathetic whimper, rolling onto my back in frustration and staring at the ceiling with my blanket pulled up under my chin. "For everyone else, maybe. For my dad, never. Come on, do _you_ want to think about _your_ parents doing that?"

"Do I want to envision it in graphic detail? No. Am I naïve enough to think it never happens? Definitely not," he replied, doing nothing to mask his amusement of the situation. "Bella, cut him a little slack. The poor guy has been single for a long time. And you've even said yourself that you were worried about the empty nest thing when you graduate. And now that's coming sooner than later. So—"

"Oh no," I interrupted him, throwing the blankets off me and running for the bathroom again.

The morning of my award ceremony, I'd woken up feeling slightly off, but I'd never been one for large crowds of people or having eyes on me, so the thought that I might be sick never crossed my mind.

Until I woke up in the emergency room, after collapsing on stage, with an iv in my arm and a temperature of a hundred and four.

My father had been furious with me, intensified by his worry over his daughter lying in a hospital bed. "Bells, why didn't you say something this morning? After I just got over this and barely made it to the ceremony myself."

"I didn't want to disappoint you, Dad. I thought I was just nervous," I whispered back to him, barely recognizing my own weak voice.

"Honey, it would take a lot more to disappoint me than missing a ceremony. I am so proud of you, I can't even begin to tell you," he replied, running his hand gently over my damp forehead as I closed my eyes, drifting off to sleep again.

Edward, on the other hand, had been in a complete panic when I wasn't answering my cell that night, and there was no answer at home. When I was released early the following morning, I had numerous missed calls and voicemails, each of them more frantic than the one before. I hung up after the fourth one and called him, even though I was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to answer. As expected, I got his voicemail.

"Hey, baby. Sorry I didn't answer my phone last night. I was in the emergency room, guess I came down with what my dad had. But don't worry, I'm okay. Just got a little dehydrated from the fever. Hope you're still feeling okay. I'm going back to bed now. I love you."

I woke up hours later to a single worded text—"_What?"_

Obviously, he'd calmed down considerably since, once he spoke to me himself and could hear that I really was okay, despite my constant need to run for the bathroom. Although I could still hear the shift in his tone when I picked up my phone off the floor, where I'd dropped it on my way through.

"You really should be in bed resting, baby," Edward said, worry and helplessness heavy in his voice. He was clear on the other side of the country, unable to do a damn thing for me.

I leaned back against the tub, resting my cheek on the cool surface and closed my eyes at the minimal relief it afforded me. "I'm getting there. Are _you_ sure you're feeling all right?"

"Bella, don't worry about me. I'm fine," he replied with a sigh.

"You'd be saying that on your deathbed," I mumbled grumpily, rising slowly from the floor to head back to my room and bury myself beneath the comforter again. "There, I'm in bed. Happy?"

A weak chuckle escaped him and I could envision him rolling his eyes with a shake of his head. "You're so stubborn, even when you're sick. But I'll be much happier when you're _better_. So get some sleep and stop worrying so much over your dad's love life."

I groaned, followed by another slight whimper at the thought of our previous conversation. I knew he was right, but…it was my _dad_.

"Fine," I sighed, my eyes already closing from the exhaustion of the movement to the bathroom and my hand pressing the phone to my ear. "I miss you so much already."

"I miss you, too, baby. Christmas will be here before you know it," Edward replied gently. "I love you, and I'll call you as soon as I can."

"Okay. I love you, too. Good night." My voice was barely coherent and I heard his soft "Good night" before the line went silent, my hand falling to the pillow with my phone still in it.

**x-x-x**

"Dad, I promise, I'm fine!" I said with a sigh as I sat at my desk two days later, hovering over the pile of school work that had accumulated while I'd been bedridden. "I haven't thrown up since yesterday, and I even held down toast. I haven't had a fever at all today and I need to catch up on my classes."

My father stood in my doorway with his arms folded over his chest, a worried look on his face. "Are you sure? You'll call the station if you need anything, right?"

"Yes, I will. Now go. The good people of Forks need protection a lot more than I do," I replied, shooing him away to do my work.

"All right. Just don't stay up too late with that, okay?"

"I won't," I replied distractedly as my pen returned to the paper, knowing it was a lie. I wouldn't be able to sleep until I knew my assignments were caught up—I couldn't afford to fall behind, especially before I'd even really started.

I hadn't actually spoken to Edward since that night on the phone, only receiving a text each night to check on me and say a quick "I love you" before bed. I knew he had commitments and was busy, and I would be seeing him in a little over a month, but it only drove home more of a reason that I needed to get through the program.

The distance between us felt heavier with each passing day, and I wished more than anything that I could be there with him. The time he'd spent home had spoiled me, although I promised myself that I wouldn't let it, knowing how much harder it would make the separation—I couldn't help it.

Everything about him in the nearly two weeks he'd been home seemed intensified. Every touch felt warmer, every kiss tasted sweeter, and even just the sound of his breathing was more calming to me somehow. It was amazing to me, the things that could so easily go unnoticed until they've been stripped away, as he'd been from me for nine long weeks. How could I _not_ immerse myself in it and soak it all in?

Yet, as a result, I found myself glancing up from my work periodically to gaze at one of the pictures of us on my desk. Before the Army, before any kind of complications entered our lives, the root of what we really were—just Edward and Bella. I ached to be in his arms again that way, to be able to press my cheek to his chest and feel his heart beating against it.

With that thought, I grabbed my phone and opened up a blank text to Edward. I hated when I would succumb to moments of weakness like that—when he felt millions of miles away instead of the three thousand he actually was. I always tried to be so much stronger than that, but in that moment, I was fighting an onslaught of tears.

_I miss you. Is it Christmas yet?_

I sent it off to him and attempted to refocus on my work, jumping slightly when my phone buzzed almost instantly.

_Not yet. Wish it was. Bad night?_

Was it _that_ obvious? I thought to myself with a sad laugh.

_Only a little. Just really wishing you were here._

The soft sound of piano echoed up from my desk and I looked down to my phone to find it dancing over the surface. While he was home, Edward had made me a ringtone of the recording of Clair de Lune from my birthday cd, which I immediately set as his. Since then, it gave me one more reason to smile every time he called.

"Hey, you," I whispered softly when I answered and was met by the sound of loud voices in the background.

"Hi, baby," he replied in almost a mumble. "I'm sorry I didn't call or anything earlier, I've been surrounded by these yahoos all night."

A chorus of drawn out "Hi Bellas" came through, followed by a growled "shut up" from Edward, but I could only chuckle. The sounds of their laughter began to fade until I hear a door closing, nearly muting them completely.

"Sorry about that," he apologized in a strained voice.

"You sound tired," I replied softly, worried that his tone seemed so much different than any other time I'd talked to him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, it's just been a long day," he said with a sharp exhale as I heard him sit down. "So, why the bad day?"

I bit my lip and bent my leg up to my chest, hugging my arm around it and resting my cheek on my knee. "I don't know. Just really missing you today. Well, more than usual."

Edward sighed heavily and remained silent for several, very long moments. I suddenly felt like one of those annoying, needy girlfriends that constantly needed her guy's attention for reassurance that she actually had one. I was just about to apologize when I heard his voice again. "I miss you, too, baby. So damn much. I'm really sorry that I gave you so much shit about that school program."

I felt my forehead tighten in confusion at his seemingly random comment. "Okay, I thought we were past all that. What's going on?"

I heard the chair groan with his movement and another sigh escaped him. "Riley's girlfriend came in from Washington today, and she's moving out here in a few weeks," Edward mumbled in an uncharacteristically shy tone and I felt my heart pounding in my chest. "And I was so jealous all fucking night. Seriously made me wish it was June already. Lame, huh?"

My smile widened despite his quiet groan and I leaned back in my chair again, relieved that I wasn't the only one feeling the heavy effects of our separation after less than a week. "No, not lame. I have to say, I'm a little jealous right now, too. You know, I can always be a rebel, say screw the program and get my ass out there right now."

"I'm not _that_ sorry, Bella," he replied with a laugh, but it was a reassuring sound. He didn't seem quiet as tense. "Waiting will make it that much better when we finally _are_ together, right?"

"Right," I said with a dramatic sigh, causing another chuckle from him. God, how I missed that. It could always make me smile, regardless of my mood beforehand. "Thank you for calling me tonight. I really needed it."

"Ready to let me go so soon?" Edward asked, his voice lowering again.

"I'm never ready for that," I replied, shaking my head and tracing the edge of my desk with my finger. "If I could I would stay on the phone with you all night. But I have a lot of work to catch up on and you sound like you're about to pass out."

"I'm fine. I just need a few more minutes," Edward groaned and then cleared his throat. "Baby, if I asked you to do something for me, would you?"

I raised an eyebrow at his question, leaning forward on my desk. "That depends. Am I going to regret saying yes?"

"Maybe," he laughed, only heightening my suspicion, but I agreed nonetheless. "Do you still have that little nightgown from the night at the cabin? The one Alice got you?"

Memories from that night flooded my mind, as well as the hungry look in Edward's eyes when I walked into that living room in the aforementioned nightgown and straddled his lap. The way he took me against the wall and made me feel more desirable than any time in the months previous. The first time we'd spent the entire night in each other's arms since our relationship began without any worries, and the one I kept in my thoughts often, remembering how warm and safe I felt that night. And looking forward to many more.

Edward whispering my name as I involuntarily whimpered at the last memory stirred me back to the present and I cleared my throat. "Yeah, it's buried in my drawer somewhere. Why?"

"Do you think you could put it on and take a picture of yourself in it for me?" I heard the soft growl in his voice as he spoke and it sent a shiver through my entire body. "I swear, it will be for my eyes only, but I really miss that body of yours. And since we didn't get a chance to celebrate our anniversary, it would be the perfect present."

I felt my face flush with his words, but not for the reason I would have thought. With everything that had been going on and him being so far away at the time, I'd forgotten the year mark of our relationship in September. But _he_ remembered—he would never let me live it down. "Wow. I've put up with you for a whole year already?"

"Very funny, Bella," he replied, trying for sarcasm but I could hear the amusement underneath. "So will you?"

"I don't know. What will _I_ get for our anniversary?" I asked, procrastinating and he knew it, judging by the sound of his heavy sigh. "Yes, I will. If I can find it."

"Thank you, baby. And what do _you_ want?"

"I'll get it for Christmas."

"Fine, I'll think of something myself," he replied with the hint of a groan. "I'll let you get back to your work so I can have more than a picture soon."

"Oh, I see. Get what you want from me, and you're ready to let _me_ go," I said with a teasing laugh.

"Never, baby," he answered seriously and I smiled. "I love you, Bella."

"I love you, too. Get some sleep," I whispered softly and we said goodnight. I set my phone down on my desk and picked up my pen, intent on returning to my homework, but my gaze wouldn't leave the dimming screen. I closed my eyes, imagining the look on Edward's face when he received the requested picture and I immediately stood from my chair. I made my way over to my dresser and drove my hand into my underwear drawer until my fingers brushed the soft satin. Gripping onto it, I pulled it from inside and held it up in front of me. I never thought I would be the kind of girl to take kinky pictures of myself to send to my boyfriend, being pretty damn sure he would do with it. Yet, I had to admit that the idea definitely had appeal and excited me; that such a small thing would affect him that way.

Without another thought, I began to change and then grabbed my phone, lying out on my bed and removing my hairtie. I tried to position myself in a sexy pose, with my hair spread out over the pillow the way I knew he liked and took a deep breath before aiming my phone at me and clicking the picture.

I turned it over to look at the screen and groaned; I thought I looked utterly ridiculous. I took another shot, holding my arm away from me a little more, but still…ridiculous. After one more attempt, I decided to just give up and text it to him, throw on my robe and get back to work.

Within a few minutes, my phone began its little dance beside my keyboard and I picked it up, reading a text from Edward.

_If I do manage to get to sleep tonight, I'll be doing it with a huge ass smile on my face ;)_

I rolled my eyes with a smile of my own and typed out my reply.

_Maybe I'll be doing the same after hearing your sexy voice tonight._

_Okay. Gotta go. Love you. Bye. *dustcloud*_

I was suddenly very thankful that I was home alone with the burst of laughter that escaped me as I read, but also that his mood was so much lighter than when he had called. It was comforting that the simplest of things we did for each other had such a profound effect on the other, even if it was just a phone call or a picture.

_You're a pig, Edward Cullen._

_You know it—snort._

**x-x-x**

Thanks giving passed with barely any notice, although it was nice to spend the day at the Cullen's house with Edward's family, Alice, Jasper and Sarahlynn, and watching Esme completely dote on her. Even my dad joined us with his "lady friend". And while she was very nice and it was the first time I'd seen him smile so much in as long as I could remember, I was still wrapping my head around the idea that my father was _dating_. I hated the fact that I couldn't be more mature about it and do what Edward said—just be happy for him. Instead, I found myself scared for him.

The loss of my mom had hit him really hard, and it had taken him so long to pull himself back up and stop blaming himself. I didn't think he could do it again if something went wrong; not with as happy as he seemed that night. He was so affectionate with her, and in public, holding her hand or keeping his arm around her shoulders, and even sharing a tender kiss or two when they thought no one was looking. I couldn't stand to see him crushed again.

My mind was temporarily distracted that evening by a video call from Edward, and though the moment was shared by the entire group of us, I still caught subtle looks in his eyes that told me that his gaze was on me, too.

_Three more weeks and he'll be home,_ I thought to myself, attempting to ward off tears as he said goodbye and he missed us all.

After dropping Sue off at home later that evening, I moved to the front seat of the cruiser silently, my thoughts returning to their earlier path.

_Bella, cut him a little slack. The poor guy has been single for a long time. And you've even said yourself that you were worried about the empty nest thing when you graduate, _Edward's words sounded in my head and I released a heavy sigh.

"You okay over there, kiddo?" my dad asked with a brief glance over to me.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I replied simply with my eyes lowered to my lap.

"Edward seems to be doing well," he said awkwardly, making it obvious that he was more than a little offset by my demeanor.

"He is. Really well, actually."

My dad sighed as he pulled into the driveway, shutting off the car but not moving to get out. "Bella, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, Dad," I replied exasperatedly and reached for the handle, but his hand took my arm gently to stop me.

"Baby, you've been acting weird all day, and you really didn't seem comfortable at all around Sue," he said softly and I looked away—why did my dad have to choose just _then_ to be so insightful? It made me feel guilty to hear that worried and sad tone return to his voice as he tucked my hair behind my ear. "What is it?"

"I don't know. I mean, she seems really great and everything." I sighed, leaning my head back against the seat. "Is it serious?"

My dad chuckled nervously, running his hand through his hair and causing me to look over to him finally. "Why do I suddenly feel like we've switched places, and I'm the teenager under the lamp?"

"Sorry," I replied with a small laugh. "You two just looked really … close today."

"She understands me, Bella. Knows what I've gone through. She was about the age I was when I lost your mom, when her husband passed away in a car accident. It was just as sudden and unexpected, something no one can understand unless they've gone through it," he said solemnly with his eyes lowered to his hands on his lap. "I'm not exactly sure where it's headed. I've been out of the game for a long time. But yeah, she makes me happy and I'd like to see where it goes and hope for the best. Before long, you're going to be gone and I've got to start thinking of my life beyond just being 'Dad.' And to be honest, that sometimes scares me a bit."

It was strange to see my father appearing so vulnerable, admitting to something that most men would see as weakness, even himself not even a year before. And for the first time in a while, I took a really good look at him. Since Rosalie and Emmett's wedding, he'd changed so much. The worried lines on his forehead and around his eyes seemed softened and less defined, as if he'd lost years off his features rather than aged. He'd almost taken on the appearance of the nervous teenager he'd joked about a few moments before with his first crush—more like the Charlie Swan I remembered from when I was a little girl, before our world was torn apart.

He really did look happy.

I reached over and slid my hand into the crook of his arm, resting my head on his shoulder and felt his cheek settle onto my hair. "I'm sorry, Dad."

"For what?" he asked in a whisper, placing his hand over mine.

"For acting like a spoiled brat and ruining your day. Like some wicked witch is gonna come in and steal my dad away. It's not like that, I promise. I'm just worried about you," I replied and hugged tighter around his arm.

My dad kissed the top of my head and I felt his mustache twitch as he smiled. "Don't worry about your old man, Bells. I'm going to be just fine."

**x-x-x**

The weeks following seemed to move in slow motion despite the flurry of activity that accompanied the holiday season. I spent more time at the Cullen's, getting reading for Edward's impending leave over Christmas and giving my dad some time alone with his girlfriend.

Sue had become more of a fixture in our house, coming over early every morning to wait for my dad to come home from work. It was odd to wake up to the smell of coffee brewing and breakfast cooking, knowing very well that it wasn't him or me doing it. And even more so to walk downstairs to find a face other than my father's there to greet me.

It had also given me a chance to get to know Sue a little better and I found it very hard not to like her. At twenty-five, she wasn't that much older than me, but she had a certain wisdom about her through her experiences, and she quickly became someone I felt I could go to for advice or just "girl talk." Like the best friend/sister/mom in the house that I'd always wanted. And watching the way my dad's face brightened when he walked into the kitchen to "both his girls", and the tender kiss she gave him each morning as she handed him his coffee, made all my earlier reservations disappear almost completely.

They complimented each other and she was good for him.

Esme seemed relieved to have me around more. With both of her sons now out of the house, she spent a lot of time at a loss of how to occupy her time. She'd even mentioned that she'd never been anything but wife and mother for more than half her life, since marrying Carlisle. The house really was far too quiet, even for me, without the boys there, so Christmas music and endless decorating and baking felt like a welcome distraction for us both.

The morning Edward was due to arrive, I woke up in his bed, surrounded by the light traces of his scent still stubbornly clinging to his pillow. I'd made plans to spend the night there to help Esme wrap presents and also avoid the chance of over-sleeping; missing the moment he walked in the front door. I rolled over, pulling his thick comforter tightly around me and saw the blinking red light on my phone.

_Getting ready to board. See you in a few hours. I love you._

Glancing at the time, I shot up out of bed and grabbed my overnight bag, running for the bathroom to take a quick shower. The text had come hours before and I had less than a half an hour to get ready.

_He's coming home. He's coming home,_ I repeated over and over in my head, unable to tame the smile on my face.

When I finally made my way downstairs, I found Esme rushing around the living room fluffing pillows, and Carlisle shaking his head as he watched. Even I had to cover my mouth with my hand to restrain a giggle.

"Honey, it's our son coming to visit, not the president. He'll be okay if there's a single speck of dust or unfluffed pillow in the house," Carlisle said in amusement, laughing heartily as she attempted to glare at him—very unconvincingly, I might add.

Esme's eyes turned quickly out the window and the accompanying tears and smile cause my stomach to tighten in excitement. "My baby's here!"

Three separate car doors closing literally caused me to begin bouncing in place and I wrapped my arms around my waist as if it would keep me rooted to my spot. Emmett and Rosalie entered first, followed right behind by Edward a moment before he was engulfed in his mother's arms.

"Hi, Mom," he said with a soft laugh and hugged her tightly, nodding to Carlisle in a silent father-son greeting as he patted Edward's shoulder. His face was smothered in Esme's kisses until she pulled away, lightly rubbing at his cheek to remove the traces of lipstick on his skin. "Where's Bella?"

His eyes searched frantically around the room until he found me, lighting up as I lightly bit my lip and waved. A smile stretched across his lips as I dropped my arms, giving him a full view of the "I heart my soldier" t-shirt I bought just to welcome him home. He crossed the space between us quickly to sweep me into his embrace, making me laugh when my feet left the ground. We spun once before he set me back down and took my face between his hands, brushing a soft kiss on my lips and resting his forehead against mine.

And once again, the world around us disappeared for a moment as we got lost in that space, inside our own little bubble.


	8. I'm Coming Home

**A/N: I had this song stuck in my head all day before to posting this chapter and I thought it was very fitting for the chapter and the title as well. **

** www . youtube watch?v=i76aSKBF5qo**

* * *

**Don't Ever Forget 8 ~ I'm Coming Home **

My leg was bouncing relentlessly throughout the entire flight from Maryland to Washington, anxiousness consuming me more with every mile that passed. I was going home to see my family and friends, and of course, my Bella. I missed them all, naturally, but the ache I had been feeling from being so far away from Bella seemed more intense since my leave the month before. She seemed so different when I returned from Basic, and I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

Was it just from not seeing her every day for nine weeks, when she'd been such a central part of my life since the moment I met her? Had being away simply changed me, shifting our association with each other? Or had we both simply grown up and matured in our time apart, taking life a little more seriously?

I wasn't sure, but it also didn't really matter. The experience had actually brought us closer, and it gave me immeasurable hope for the future.

Then why was I so nervous? I was still running that question through my mind as we began our descent into Seattle, and it only made me more eager to get off that plane and back to my parents' house, where I knew Bella would be waiting for me as well. I checked my phone as soon as I got into the terminal and began weaving through the passel of holiday travelers. There was no text from Bella, which unreasonably caused my stomach to clench. I'd be seeing her in a matter of hours; what difference should it make that she hadn't texted back?

Because then I would feel truly _home_.

I was momentarily able to forget my tormenting thoughts when I caught sight of my brother coming toward me at baggage claim, with Rosalie right beside him, engulfing me in his massive arms as soon as he reached me.

"I'm getting my hug in now while I still can before you get home and I lose ya to a pair of smaller arms," Emmett joked, gripping me so firmly in his embrace that it made it difficult to breathe.

"Well, in that case, I better get mine, too," Rosalie said with a laugh, pulling my brother away from me and wrapping her arms around my neck. "We've really missed you around here."

"I've missed you, too," I mumbled against her shoulder, hugging her tightly as Emmett grabbed my bag from the floor. As we pulled apart, I was surprised to find tears glistening in her eyes that she quickly tried to blink away. It was a rarity to see Rosalie so emotional over anything—she didn't even cry at her own wedding or at Sarahlynn's birth. But her arm clung around my waist all the way out of the airport and to the car.

We'd grown close throughout the beginning of her relationship with Emmett, and she'd become my sole confidante through the weeks before Bella and I got together finally. We were an unlikely pair, but I could tell her things that I couldn't tell anyone else—my feelings for Bella, my irrational jealousy over her relationship with James, my regrets for going to Alaska and my fear of losing her completely when I eventually left for good. And that bond between us had never faded, even if we kept it buried beneath the surface while in everyone else's company. But the tearful reaction was the _last_ thing I would have ever expected from Rosalie.

Emmett was talking animatedly throughout the entire drive to Forks, and while I wasn't ignoring him, my eyes were fixed on the screen of my phone. I began flipping through the menagerie of pictures I had stored on there, anxious to see each and every face sooner than I could physically get to them. My parents, Jasper and Alice, Sarahlynn, and finally, Bella. Many pictures of that beautiful face flew by until I paused at the one she'd sent me weeks before. It was a combination that only Bella could pull off for me—her sweet, innocent face, with a hint of mischievousness in her eyes, the shy biting of her lip as she sprawled her sexy body along her bed in that little nightgown. And with a single glance, telling me that every part of her was mine.

Aside from the obvious reaction that picture always incited in me, causing me to shift uncomfortably in the back seat, it was also exactly what I needed at the moment. My girl. All mine.

When I finally heard the crunching of gravel beneath the tires of the car, I looked up to see us pulling up to my parents' house and Bella's car parked right out front. I felt my shoulders immediately relax at the sight—she was there, just as she said she would be, text or no text. I couldn't get into that house quickly enough, even though Emmett and Rosalie somehow made it to the door first. I was swept into my mother's arms as soon as I stepped inside, and despite my anxiousness to see Bella, I relished in her embrace and my father's "welcome home" greeting.

Soon enough, though, my eyes began scanning the room for Bella, and when I didn't see her, my heart began hammering in my chest.

"Where's Bella?" I asked as my mother released me and stepped back to rub my cheek with her fingertips where her lips had obviously left smudges on my skin with her kisses. When she moved aside, I turned around and my gaze finally met Bella's across the room, where she was biting her lip as she always did to contain her smile and lifted her hand to give me a little wave. My own smile grew as her arms fell to her sides and I read the bold letters on her tiny t-shirt.

"I heart my soldier"

_God, I fucking love this girl,_ I thought as I made my way over to her as quickly as I could manage and pulled her against me. Lifting her feet from the floor, I immersed myself in the laughter that escaped her as I spun her around. I never thought anything would ever feel better than seeing her again after Basic, but I was so wrong. Actually coming _home_ to her waiting there for me was the most amazing feeling in the world. And the words across her chest, expressing an unspoken pride in me and her unmistakable acceptance of my becoming a soldier was too overwhelming for words. I set her down, holding her face between my hands and kissed the lips I'd been dying to have against mine again for weeks.

With her forehead pressed to mine once our lips parted, I realized that I was right before. She was the missing element, what I needed to really feel home. She _was_ my home now.

"Hi," she whispered as her fingers gripped the fabric of my shirt at my sides.

I opened my eyes to look down at her and I was immediately immersed in the dark pools of hers, and I wanted to disappear within the sanctuary of that space I shared only with her. To lose myself in her arms for the entire time I was home, even though I knew that was impossible. But was five minutes too much to ask?

I unwillingly released her for a moment to grab my bag that Emmett had just brought in, but kept a firm hold of Bella's hand, refusing to lose contact with her for even a second. The feeling of her slender fingers sliding between mine, her thumb running over my knuckle as we ascended the stairs toward my room, was one of the simplest things I'd missed, and I couldn't get her behind that door fast enough.

The instant it clicked closed, I dropped my bag to the floor and took her other hand, backing my way toward the bed. Her smirk matched mine as I toppled back onto the mattress with her on top of me, and she immediately sealed my lips with hers in a kiss we'd both been aching for, for weeks. Naturally, my body began responding to the rolling of her hips above mine, and with a deep groan, I flipped her onto her back, hitching her leg higher on my hip. I knew we only had a few minutes before we would be expected back downstairs, but I needed to feel her against me in ways that would be entirely inappropriate in front of my family. We hadn't been together physically in so long, resorting to brief, whispered words on the phone or the occasional dirty text, trying to make up for the absence of everything else. And it was never enough for either of us.

The following summer couldn't come fast enough. I would be finished with training, she'd have completed high school, and we'd hopefully never need to be apart again.

"Hi," I finally replied as I kissed along her neck, soaking in the feel and scent of her.

Bella giggled softly, her hands roaming my back and hair, just as eager to soak me in as well, and causing her to release a contented sigh. "Let's just stay right here the whole time you're home. No one will miss us over the holidays."

I smiled against her skin as she hooked her calf securely around the back of my thigh, holding me against her. "That's some pretty wishful thinking you've got going on there, baby."

"I know," she groaned with a pout and I lifted my head, brushing my lips softly over her pursed ones. "I just want as much time with you as I can get before we're sucked back into reality again."

"I'll make sure there's more time for us this time around, Bella. I promise," I whispered, running the backs of my fingers along her neck. "In fact, I'm in the mood for a swim after lunch. How about you?"

Bella raised a single brow at me and rolled her eyes. "Only _you_ would think about going swimming in the middle of winter. You _do_ realize there's ice on the ground out there, right?"

"Which means an even lower chance of being disturbed, and some real time alone," I replied with a grin, wiggling my eyebrows. "Come on, I haven't been in my pool in months, and even longer since I've seen you in a bikini."

"I have to say the idea holds appeal. But no bikini," Bella replied, shaking her head.

"You can't deny me the bikini," I spoke in a gravelly voice as my lips ghosted over hers.

Bella gave a soft moan, her hands lowering to grab my ass and she rolled me onto my back, pecking a kiss on my cheek. "Watch me."

Her fingers shoved playfully against my mouth as she stood from the bed, beginning to move toward the door but I grabbed her wrist, pulling her back beside me. Her laughter emanated through the room as the mattress bounced beneath her fall, and was smothered by my lips sealing over hers again. But that time, we simply melted into each other, her arms sliding slowly around my shoulders, soft brushes of her tongue on mine teasing, but gentle. Her soft whimper that followed wasn't demanding, just held the same need and want to be close to me as I felt for her.

My phone began buzzed in my pocket and I sighed heavily, rolling off Bella as I pulled it out to check it.

_Hope ur decent. Mom's coming up_, I read aloud and I leapt from my bed quickly, followed more hesitantly by Bella, seconds before my mother's knock sounded on the door.

"Sweetheart, lunch is on the table," she said as she cracked it open slightly, watching as I began pulling clothes out of my bag, that I had quickly moved to the bed. "Edward, what are you doing? You can unpack later, you need to eat."

I released a slow breath as she left the room and I could see Bella out of the corner of my eye, gazing at me with her arms crossed. "Don't ask, baby."

"Oh, you damn well know I'm going to," she retorted with an amused smirk, shaking her head.

"Then, just not now, please," I replied, taking her hand and leading her out of the room and down the stairs without another word.

As soon as I could break away after lunch, I made my way out to the pool house with Bella, and while she changed in the attached bathroom, I got into my suit right at the edge and dove in. I lost myself in the silence of being submerged in water until my lungs burned from holding my breath and I broke the surface again. Once I wiped the excess water from my face and slicked my hair back, I looked up to find Bella by the stairs. With a smirk, she shed the robe covering her to reveal the white bikini I'd been begging for earlier, and slowly descended the steps into the water.

I waded toward her, pulling her through the water the moment I could reach her and into my arms. "Thought you weren't going to wear it."

"Who am I to deny my man of something so simple that he wants? Besides, it's also bribery," Bella replied, sliding her arms around my neck and I rolled my eyes. "You knew I wasn't going to let it drop. What was that up there? You've gone from the guy who used to have a ladder to his window, without a care in the world, to one that's leaping from the bed at the idea of getting caught kissing his _girlfriend_ on the bed. What's going on?"

I sighed heavily, but her eyes held genuine curiosity, and all hints of teasing had vanished. "Have you noticed my mother acting weird lately?"

Bella's forehead wrinkled in thought, her gaze pensive as she dipped her head back in the water to wet her hair before looking back to me and shrugging. "I don't know. She misses you guys and constantly has to stay busy. She doesn't know what to do with herself. But other than that, she seems fine."

I gazed down at her and rested my forehead on hers, just wanting the last moment I would likely have with her for a while. "I think me going away and Emmett getting married and moving to Seattle so quickly in succession…maybe it was too much all at once for her. Both of us growing up too fast or something. I don't know how to explain it, but she's almost _more_ mothering to me now than she's been my whole life. Always asking to make sure I'm eating and sleeping while I'm away, or if I need anything out there, checking on me if I'm alone with my girlfriend a little too long in my room."

"Well, you _are_ her baby, Edward. Did you honestly expect _no_ empty nest stuff when you left?" Bella asked, tilting her head slightly and tracing her fingers distractedly along the back of my neck. It was such a calming gesture, I could feel the muscles in my arms and shoulders begin to relax.

My lips lowered to hers in a soft kiss, hugging around her waist more securely. It felt as if I was caught up in one of my dreams, feeling her body against mine with her arms wrapped tightly around my neck. A quiet moan rumbled in my chest that seemed to resonate in the heavy air around us as she traced her tongue along my lips and they parted to deepen the kiss. Bella lifted up onto her toes, gripping me more firmly and pressing her breasts against me. She was successfully distracting me from the thoughts plaguing my mind for a couple of hours before, and more than ever, I wanted to stay in that moment with her. Completely alone, with no eyes around us, to be free to be us. "God, I've missed you."

"I've missed you, too," she whispered back, lightly dragging her teeth along my lower lip. "Let's not think anymore for a while, and just enjoy this. Everything is going to be fine."

I shivered despite the warm, humid air as her legs rose under the water to wrap around my waist. My hands lowered to take hold of her hips, gripping them gently when she began rocking against mine and stirring the arousal building inside me. I felt my mind go blank as our bodies moved together and I pressed forward, eliciting a moan from her in return.

"It's been so long. Please," Bella panted heavily and I wasted no time in lowering my swim trunks and pulling aside the fabric of her bikini bottoms.

I held her eyes as I positioned myself against her, watching as she bit her lip in anticipation and drew in a sharp inhale as I slowly pressed inside her. We remained still for a moment, enjoying the feel of being joined together again after weeks of talking and fantasizing about it, before her hips began rocking against me and her head fell back. The water rippled around us with our movements and I lowered my lips to her neck, feeling her hand rest firmly on the back of mine. It wasn't exactly the most romantic of settings for our first time together again, but our need for each other was so great, that neither of us seemed to mind. It was just us, and that was all that mattered.

My hands slid around her hips to hold her still and I began thrusting inside her more rapidly. The muscles in her thighs tensed beneath my arms and her head raised again, her teeth biting lightly into my shoulder to muffle her long, guttural moan in response. I nearly lost it right there as she clenched around me, her body rigid in my hold.

"Shit, Edward!" Bella gasped, her fingers digging into my skin as she began trembling and her chest heaved against mine in shuddering breaths.

"I love you," I whispered and her mouth sealed over mine, sucking at my bottom lips with a groan as she orgasmed. I couldn't hold back any longer after all our time apart and the feel of her constricting around me, and I released inside her with my arms wrapping tightly around her waist. Our movements slowed gradually to a stop, but our kiss melted into a slow, passionate exchange before parting. Her fingers resumed the gentle, soothing motions along the back of my neck as our foreheads rested together again.

"I love you, too," she murmured quietly and I opened my eyes to look at her. A soft, satisfied smile had appeared on her lips and I couldn't stop mine from joining it. "Welcome home."

**x-x-x**

The nerves in my stomach were raging after I left Bella at her house that night. I had both anticipated and dreaded what the evening would hold for several weeks, but nothing prepared me for the intensity of the trepidation I felt.

I spotted Chief Swan's cruiser parked outside the station and my palms began to sweat even more. The last time I sat down and talked in length with Bella's father, it had not been under the best of conditions and that particular discussion ran rampant through my mind.

"_Sit down, Edward," he said in a calm but stern tone, sliding one of the kitchen chairs away from the table, the legs screeching in their path along the linoleum floor._

_I'd never been so terrified of any single man in my entire life as I was at that moment as I moved across the room to lower into the seat. Hearing the creaking from above me did not help my anxiety at all, discerning from the movement of the sound that it was Bella pacing her floor upstairs. I drew in a deep breath as he sat down across from me, fixing me with a hard stare and folding his hands in front of him. "Sir…"_

_Chief Swan cut me off abruptly with the raise of his hand at me, shaking his head. "I have a few things I would like to say before you start with what I am sure is a well-rehearsed speech."_

_The collar of my shirt seemed to tighten around my neck with his tone, making it impossible to swallow against the lump that had formed in my throat. I began rapidly imagining all the possible things he could say to me, considering the conditions we were there under—the worst of which was "stay the hell away from my daughter."_

"_The first thing you need to understand is that girl upstairs is my life. If anything ever happened to her, I would have nothing left. So, I'm sure you can understand that not finding her where she was supposed to be under _any_ circumstances would cause me a fair bit of alarm. But gone all night with no way of reaching her, terrified that something had happened to her in that storm. I don't even have the words," he began, his even voice faltering only slightly as he spoke, but his expression remained in place. "It took me a while to get used to the idea of my baby dating at all, but to see her getting out of a car with a boy she's spent all night with…lying to me about being at a friend's house. That's not the girl I raised. And pardon me for being frank, but you're leaving come summer. My daughter is not a play thing, and I won't watch her get her heart broken when you've gone and are done with her."_

_My chest tightened at the pain lacing his words and the slight clenching of his jaw. I wasn't sure if he was ready for me to respond, so I waited until he leaned back in his chair, folding his arms over his chest and his brow rose expectantly. "Chief Swan, I completely understand the reasons behind your feelings and concerns. And I can assure you that the last thing I ever want to do is hurt Bella. She is the most important thing in my life, and I couldn't imagine her ever not being a part of it."_

"_But you're leaving her behind to join the Army. And she strongly believes that she's … in love with you," he said, swallowing hard as he paused in his statement. "She's still so young, Edward."_

"_Sir, I know we're both young. And my leaving won't be an easy thing for either of us. This is something I've wanted to do for as long as I can remember, and I never imagined that I would be leaving anyone behind other than my family. But I'm not leaving _her_," I replied, trying to keep my voice calm and reassuring. "She's not just a fling for me. I love her, very much, and I want her to be a part of my future."_

_My heart pounded harshly as I watched his hand rise to his face, running his fingers down his mustache with a speculative look in his eyes. "And if she decides that this isn't what she wants?"_

_I closed my eyes and exhaled slowly, finally looking down to my lap as that thought ran through my mind. We'd be apart a lot over the next two years at least, and I knew that anything was possible in that time, as much as I prayed for the contrary. When I wasn't there every day to hold her and tell her I loved her, when she was constantly surrounded by guys who _could_ give her that, I knew she could always change her mind. "Then I would let her go. If that's what would make her happy, I would do it. That's all I want for her, even if I'm not the one to give it to her."_

_I heard him sigh heavily and I looked up again to find him leaning forward on his elbows, his fingers pressed to his lips. "I know you're a good kid, Edward. And I think it's a very honorable thing you're doing with this enlistment in the Army, and in everything you just said. But what happened the other day … there could have been a multitude of consequences, and still can. I don't want to see Bella get herself into trouble, before her life every really begins, or yours for that matter. Aside from the legal repercussions that could have been a factor."_

_I cleared my throat and shifted nervously in my chair with the implications his uncomfortably stated words presented. I was eighteen years old and in a sexual relationship with the police chief's minor daughter. If he wanted to, he could eliminate any of my aspirations for the future with a criminal record. But in addition to that, my girlfriend's father was discreetly broaching the topic of that intimate relationship I had with his daughter, a subject I would even have difficulty discussing with my own parents. I tried to find the words to respond, but no sound escaped me despite my numerous efforts._

"_You can relax, I'm not taking that route. But this is very serious. I know everything may seem safe, but sometimes, all the precautions in the world are not enough. Bella herself is living proof of that. I don't regret having my daughter, but I want something better for her. Finish high school, go to college, be prepared for life," Chief Swan spoke in a low voice, his eyes locked on me._

"_I want that for her as well, sir," I replied once I finally found my voice again, trying to keep my gaze on his. "And no matter what happens, I will take care of her to the best of my ability, whatever that takes. I don't want for her to sacrifice anything more than she already is."_

_He stared at me silently for what felt like an eternity, seeming to size me up as I could almost see the wheels turning in his head. Had I said something wrong? I ran over every word I'd spoken in the last half hour of talking to him, each expression on his face, but Charlie Swan was one of the most difficult men to read that I'd ever met. And I knew that when it came to his daughter, he was exceedingly protective. He drew in several long, deep breaths as we sat there in the quiet, the only sign of movement was his eyes as they flickered over me._

"_Edward," he finally spoke, clearing his throat and sitting up straighter. "I'm sure you mean everything you've said and it took a lot for you to come here today, and I respect that. But the fact still remains that you've violated my trust, and it's going to take a lot more than a little talking to fix that."_

"_Yes, I know, sir," I replied with a nod, lowering my eyes as I prepared myself for what was to come. _

"_So, this is how it's going to be…"_

I'd sat there and listened as he laid down the rules; I couldn't see Bella outside of school until the end of the semester, and even then, I wasn't allowed in the house without his supervision and we could have our one date a week, as long as she was home by his set curfew. No more sleepover at Alice's, nothing like the freedom we'd had with each other before, until he felt he could trust me with his little girl.

It was the longest semester of school imaginable, but it was worth it. Being with Bella again in that meadow where everything began for us, absorbing every touch and the feel of her in my arms again, was made all the more exhilarating by the absence of it all for months. We didn't even give any thought to having sex that night—that wasn't all we were, and the time apart had actually been good for us, giving us the opportunity to realize that. The physical aspect of our relationship obviously hadn't ceased; we still had our moments of need, but we also learned to appreciate the simpler things. And things had improved between me and Chief Swan as well.

Yet that knowledge did not alleviate the nervousness I felt at coming face to face with my girlfriend's father again. I stared at the front of the building for several minutes before taking a deep breath to steady myself and stepped out of the car, tugging my jacket tightly around me against the cold wind as I jogged toward the door.

The moment I stepped inside, my eyes met Chief Swan, standing there waiting for me. _Too late to turn back now_, I thought to myself through my anxiety, but quickly shook off that idea. I didn't _want_ to turn back.

"Edward, good to see you," he said, approaching me and holding his hand out to shake mine. "Glad to be home?"

"Yes, sir," I replied with his hand clamped firmly in mine, hoping I didn't appear as nervous as I felt. "I'm sorry for bothering you at work, Chief Swan, but I was wondering if I could have a word with you in private. Without Bella present."

His brow furrowed into worried lines across his forehead, but he nodded. "Of course. Is everything all right?"

I hummed in affirmation as he led me through the station to a desk in the back, and I sat down across from him. He leaned back in his chair, eyeing me expectantly. Once again, I found myself at a loss for words and cleared my throat, trying to free them.

"Edward?" he said, urging me to begin.

I took a deep breath in an effort to gather the courage to speak and finally looked up to him again. "Sir, as you know, I will be graduating from training school at the end of next summer. And with Bella also graduating from high school in June, it's our hope that she will be joining me wherever I'm stationed afterward."

"Not that I needed reminding, but yes," he replied, causing me to tense slightly until I saw the hint of a smile come across his lips, followed by a brief chuckle. "Son, relax. I wouldn't have signed the papers for the accelerated program if I wasn't fully aware of that possibility or had any serious reservations about it. I know you'll take good care of her, as if she couldn't do so herself."

I released a heavy exhaled, feeling my shoulders loosen minimally. "I love and respect Bella more than any woman in my life, aside from my mother. And I want to do everything right by her."

His face shifted to that of confusion, folding his arms over his chest, and my heart started racing at the familiarity of that sight.

"Chief Swan, I would like to ask for your permission to marry your daughter."


	9. The First Step

**Don't Ever Forget 9 ~ The First Step  
**

Chief Swan's face instantly blanched and it was almost impossible to tell if he was even breathing for a moment. "Everything right by her? Please don't say there's something _more_ to tell me."

My eyes widened and I quickly shook my head. I should have chosen my words better, knowing full well his deepest fear for Bella; to become pregnant, forced to get married too soon and regretting it for the rest of her life. "No, sir. Nothing like that. It's just that I want Bella there with me, living with me. And I know how sudden this may seem and we're really young to be considering things like this. But I want to take care of her in every way I can and I don't want to simply live together. I've just been raised with the belief that the first woman I lived with outside of my parents' home would be my wife, as it should be."

He sighed heavily, his eyes falling to his lap and shaking his head. "I can't say I'm entirely surprised. I just wasn't expecting anything like this so soon. This is a very serious decision, son. Not one to be taken lightly."

"I can assure you, I'm not. I've been thinking about this for quite a while," I replied, rubbing my palms along my thighs to dry them of the nervous perspiration. "I know that Bella is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. And I respect her too much to just 'live in sin' with her."

Unexpectedly, he burst out in a single laugh, completely breaking my train of thought and he brought his eyes up to meet mine. "Are you sure you're only eighteen? I haven't heard that phrase since _I _was about your age."

I chuckled nervously and shrugged. "She just deserves something better than just shacking up somewhere with her boyfriend. And as my wife in the Army, I could provide everything she needs for her and take care of her the way I want to. You wouldn't have to worry about her, Chief Swan."

His hand ran along his jaw as he sat in deep thought, his eyes still locked on me. "I know you love her. I could see that plain as day even a year ago. I trust you with her, you've earned that much. But I _would_ be lying if I said I didn't have at least some misgivings about my daughter getting married so young. I don't want to see her giving up her entire future."

"I understand, sir," I said with a sigh, fighting to keep my hand from dragging over my hair with the defeat coursing through me.

"However," he continued and my eyes shot back up to him, finding a thoughtful expression on his face. "I also can't deny that it would make me feel better than 'shacking up with her boyfriend.' But are you absolutely sure?"

"Yes, sir. Absolutely sure," I replied with a certain nod, reaching into my pocket and pulling out the small ring box, setting it on the desk. "I've put a lot of thought into it, and I've been holding onto this since right after I got to Maryland. But I couldn't give it to her without your blessing."

Chief Swan hesitantly reached across the desk, taking the box between his fingers and bringing it in front of him. I held my breath as he opened it—the ring wasn't anything extravagant, just a simple solitaire with a silver band. But it was something that I bought with my own resources, with Bella in mind. As it should have been done.

"I think she'll love it, Edward," he finally stated, a smile stretching across his face and looking to me with the trace of restrained tears in his eyes as he set the closed box back in front of me. "And for the love of God, stop calling me 'sir.' If you're going to be my son-in-law, you can at least call me Charlie."

**x-x-x**

Before Bella arrived for Christmas Eve, I sat down with my parents to have a similar discussion with them, but I was not prepared for the reaction I got. My mother began to cry and left the room, as if I was telling her all over again that I was enlisting, rather than asking my girlfriend to marry me. My father patted my shoulder as he stood to follow her upstairs and I heard their voices through the door of their bedroom.

"Esme, this isn't a bad thing," he said in his calm, gentle tone.

"How can you say that? They are just children!" she exclaimed, her tears evident in her voice.

"Edward is old enough to risk his life for his country, and he is certainly old enough for this. He's not a boy anymore, and hasn't been for a long time," my father replied in a tone I had never heard him take with my mother—he sounded almost angry. "Emmett isn't that much older than Edward, and he's married and gone. Whether it happens now or ten years from now, someday, Edward is going to get married, too. Have kids, and a life of his own. He's grown up, Esme. And there's a lot worse thing that could happen than marry the girl he loves. We couldn't ask much better for our son than Bella."

My mother was silent for several minutes aside from her sobs, and my dad reappeared downstairs in the living room beside me. "It'll be all right, Edward. You know your mother. When do you plan on asking Bella?"

My forehead creased at his question and the sudden shift in topic. It was then that I noticed the increased lines around his eyes, but not from smiling. He looked tense and strained, and appeared more tired than I'd seen him in years. "I-I'm not sure. But is everything okay with you, Dad?"

His hand came to my face in a fatherly gesture as I looked up at him and he made an attempt at a smile. "Don't worry yourself over me, son. I'm happy for you. And once your mother finally comes around, she'll probably be the first in line to help start planning the wedding. I think that ring would be an excellent Christmas present for a certain little lady."

I watched him walk away, hearing his office door close behind him upstairs and finally taking a deep breath before rising myself. I made my way to my room, rolling my neck against the tension built there from my mother's unexpected behavior. Bella was going to be arriving in a little under an hour, and I couldn't let her see me that way again. She would begin asking questions as she had the night before in the pool and I had no idea how else I would be able to explain it. And if anything was imperative to get absolutely right and perfect in our relationship for years to come, it would be the day I asked her to spend the rest of her life with me.

My fingers closed around the vinyl fabric covering something I had not laid eyes on, let alone touched, in months—my piano.

**BPOV**

I stepped inside the Cullen's house, after receiving a line of teasing from Emmett because I still knocked on the door instead of coming right in, and heard a sound echoing down the stairs I hadn't heard in far too long—Edward was playing his piano. I quietly crept up to his room and stood undetected in the doorway, just watching him.

The sight alone was one I had missed; even if it was a rare one at that. His long fingers running fluidly over the keys, lips pursed in concentration and his neck bent forward ever so slightly; it was an image that had been burned into my memory from the very first time I'd seen him play. Yet, even that was not what held my attention so utterly and even brought tears to my eyes.

Edward's choice of song, a version of "I'll Be Home for Christmas" I'd never heard, was powerful in itself, but combined with the creasing of his forehead and the tenseness of his jaw, it was a little disconcerting. He looked almost worried and that in turn worried me.

I walked up behind him, bringing my hands to rest on his shoulders, but he didn't miss a beat. A tiny smirk appeared on his lips and he lifted his head slightly to rest back against me.

"It's about time. I thought you were never going to come away from that doorway," he said with a chuckle, keeping his fingers moving over the keys while looking up at me.

I smiled, leaning over to brush his lips with mine and then hugging my arms around his shoulders as he played the final notes of the song. His hand rose, entwining his fingers with mine and he settled his head back against me more. "Well, I thought about hanging back there for a while. The view _was_ fantastic, after all. How'd you know?"

"I always know when you're nearby, baby," he whispered as he lifted our joined hands from his shoulder, pressing his lips to my palm. "Being away from you has only made me more acutely aware of you."

His words made my smile broaden and I nuzzled my face against his neck, breathing him in, still unable to absorb the fact that he was actually there. I could touch and kiss him, and he was safe in my arms. I tried my hardest to simply concentrate on that, without the nagging in the back of my head, reminding me that, once again, it was temporary. I stepped around the bench to sit on his lap, kissing him full on the mouth and running my fingers along his scruffy jaw. I felt his fingers grip firmly on my hip, his other hand reaching up to lace in my hair to hold me against him, sucking lightly at my lower lip. "Miss me much?"

Edward smirked against my lips as his fingertips massaged my scalp and I nearly moaned at the pleasurable feel of it. "You have no idea, Bella."

I opened my eyes to look at him with the sudden change in the tone of his voice, one I hadn't been expecting. The dimming light of the room with the falling dusk only exemplified his features, and what I saw there worried me a little. The shadows around his eyes were deeper than usual, and even with the short length of his hair, it somehow managed to become completely unkempt. And his hold around my waist tightened slightly as our foreheads rested together.

"Hey," I whispered, running my thumb along his cheek but he never looked at me. "Edward, what's the matter?"

Edward shook his head slowly, taking a deep breath and opening his eyes, the mask of a smile appearing on his lips. "Nothing, baby. Just didn't sleep well last night. Not used to being in an actual _comfortable_ bed anymore."

I raised an eyebrow at him and was about to speak again when he pressed his lips back to mine, silencing me. Under any other circumstances, I would have called him on it, but I just couldn't bring myself to right then. I'd barely had him in my arms for thirty-six hours, and I was unable to say a word. Besides, it was Christmas Eve, and I wanted to enjoy the little moment of peace we had before we'd be called back downstairs for dinner and gift exchange, since Rose and Emmett were returning to her family's home that night.

I shifted my body to straddle his legs, our kiss gaining heat with each passing second and his hands lowering to grasp my hips. Holding him as tightly as I could, I still didn't feel close enough, but all too soon, our time was cut short by the sound of his mother's voice echoing up the stairs.

"Coming, Mom," Edward called back to her with a heavy sigh and lifted us both from the bench. His eyes held mine as I unhooked my legs from around his waist and he kissed me gently once more before my feet touched back down on the floor. "I swear, we _will _have some time alone together tonight. Once my brother leaves, we are out of here."

I chuckled softly and took his face in my hands, rising up on my toes to brush his lips with mine. "I love you. I'm just glad you're here."

Edward seemed more hesitant than usual to leave my side all evening, from the second we left his bedroom. In fact, the entire atmosphere of the Cullen house seemed strange and tense, even Emmett, which was extremely odd. It was the complete opposite of what I'd expected with the whole family being together for the holiday, even if just for the evening, and I really couldn't understand it. Edward's statement about his mother's behavior began echoing through my head, and I slowly began to see what he was talking about the day before.

The previous Christmas, everything had been so different, even with Emmett being away at college and Edward's enlistment. There was a lot more laughing, the mood was lighter…not so much anymore. And it was very unnerving. Esme kept giving me looks across the room that was definitely a far cry from the loving, almost to the point of clingy, vibe I had gotten from her over the previous few weeks. While not contemptuous or angry either, it still had me holding tight to Edward's arm by the end of night, until Carlisle finally noticed and excused themselves for the evening. Emmett and Rosalie took off shortly thereafter, leaving the room still and silent and me completely alone with Edward.

I glanced over to him and his head was resting back with his eyes closed, appearing tense even when I ran the backs of my fingers along his jaw. If he even noticed that I touched him at all, he never so much as hinted at it, until I leaned toward him and brushed my lips against his cheek. He moved into the touch and turned his head to kiss me soundly, yet still gently, but all too soon, he pulled away with a disgruntled sigh. "I love you."

Edward's eyes opened to look at me just as I felt a tear escape down my cheek. His forehead tightened as he brought his hand to my face, brushing the trail away with his thumb. I felt so stupid, crying for no apparent reason, but it seemed as if a floodgate of emotion had erupted inside me, and I needed him so much in that moment. "I love you, too, baby. I'm sorry about all this tonight."

"It's not your fault," I replied, shaking my head. "You just still seem a million miles away."

"This is not how I wanted to spend Christmas with you, that's all. We should be enjoying the limited time we have together, not walking around on eggshells constantly," he said, his teeth clenching as he rested his forehead against mine.

I sighed, gently taking his hand and standing from the couch. "Come on, let's get out of here for a while. We can go back to my house and exchange our gifts there."

I thought the suggestion would calm him at least a little, but he actually seemed to blanch slightly, and his grip tightened a bit on my hand, almost frozen in his spot. Just as quickly, he appeared to relax and nod, clearing his throat as he stood to join me and pecking my cheek with his lips. "Sure. Just let me grab our coats and … everything from my room real quick. Be right back."

Before I could even respond, he shot from the room and ran upstairs. I made slow hesitant steps toward the door to wait for him, trying to make sense of his behavior just then. His mood fluctuations were so drastic and swift, I could barely wrap my mind around it even then. _Men are so strange_, I thought to myself.

When he didn't come right back down, and I didn't hear any movement from above me, I began to make my way toward the stairs. I'd barely touched my foot to the second step when I saw him appear suddenly at the top, shaking his head sharply. "Sorry, I just misplaced something. You ready?"

I nodded silently as he helped me into my jacket and then took my hand to lead me outside. "Do you just want to take your car and I can come back for mine tomorrow?"

Edward began shaking his head again, and I felt my heart sink a little more. I'd thought he'd want to spend even the few extra minutes completely alone with me before we were again in a parental's company, even if we _did_ manage to steal away to my room. The door would still be open, and I couldn't remove the image in my head of my father sitting in the kitchen below, with his head tilted slightly toward the ceiling to listen for the first hint of a creaking bedspring or inappropriate sounds from either one of us. Even though my dad insisted that he trusted me, and Edward, I didn't know how much I believed that. Yet as I moved to let go of his hand, he pulled me back toward him and wrapped his arms around me tightly. "I still want to spend time with you tomorrow, just not back here."

I pulled back to look up at him and his eyes met mine a moment before his lips did. "Okay, I understand … I think."

"See you in a few minutes," he said with an odd smile and released me, rummaging in his jacket pocket for his keys as he made his way to his car.

The drive back to my house was filled with a nervous tension that I couldn't shake. I periodically looked to my rearview mirror, and with each illumination of his face from the passing street lights, I swore I saw him talking, possibly even _yelling_, inside his car. And when he still hadn't relaxed much by the time we arrived at my house, I seriously began to think that Christmas Eve was just going to be a bust.

"Hey, kiddo. Didn't expect you around here until much later," my dad said as we walked into the house and I set the bag in my hand at my feet.

"Yeah, Edward and I just decided to hang out here for a while tonight and exchange presents and stuff. Mrs. Cullen didn't seem much up for company this evening," I explained and then noticed my father's shift in expression as his eyes locked on Edward, who stood stiffly beside me.

"Oh. Right. I see. Sue?" he said in an almost stammering voice, sliding his arm around her waist, while never taking his eyes off Edward. "How about we head over to your place for a bit?"

At first, Sue looked about as confused as I was, but one glance at my dad and she began to nod. "Yeah, I _did_ forget the eggnog tonight, so we'd have to go back anyway."

_Okay, not only are _men_ strange, but now, it's afflicted Sue as well. Perfect. Didn't think this night could _get_ any more awkward._

After they hurried out the door, I turned to face Edward with a pointed look and he held his hands up defensively. "I swear, I have no idea."

"Yeah," I replied sarcastically, folding my arms over my chest. "You know, because it's _completely_ natural for Christmas Eve to turn into the Twilight Zone, and _my_ father to leave his daughter alone in a house with her boyfriend voluntarily. And all as he's _looking_ at said boyfriend. Of course."

Edward sighed and took my hand to unlock my arms, pulling me closer to him. The knuckles of his other hand gingerly brushed along the edge of my face, and it would have had its normal calming effect on me if it hadn't been for the look in his eyes. My fingers rose to curl around his, shaking my head nervously.

"Edward, you're really making me nervous. You're blowing so hot and cold, what's going on?" I asked, my eyes shifting between his.

He inhaled deeply and released it in a slow breath, weaving his fingers with mine. "I guess I'm just really nervous about how you'll like your present."

I looked at him quizzically, moving with him as he led me by the hand to the couch and lowered me down beside him. "Wait. Mine first."

I felt his gaze follow me as I crossed the room again, crouching down beside the bag on the floor and retrieving a wrapped, medium sized box from inside. I was determined to ease the tension surrounding us, and could see that it almost immediately worked as I set the box in his lap. His features relaxed slightly as his eyes lowered to it and then looked back to me as I sat down beside him again. "Within the fifty dollar limit we agreed to, right?"

"Well within. Parts of it, nothing at all, actually," I replied, nodding my head and watched as he began tugging at the paper. When he finally got the box open, his eyebrows rose abruptly at the "care package" I'd put together for him.

Beneath the container of homemade cookies I'd made for him, there was a photo of us from Emmett and Rose's wedding in a frame I'd decorated with tiny seashells I'd collected along the beach, which earned a smile from him until the shock replaced it again. He lifted the frame as I tried to contain my blush while he extracted the Victoria's Secret catalog and the tiny bottle of "warming massage oil". He cleared his throat and shifted slightly in his seat before chancing a look over at me. "Really, baby? You think Victoria's Secret is what does it for me, huh?"

My lips twitched at his slightly amused tone, a little more relief settling in on me. "Just open it."

Edward's eyes moved hesitantly from mine and opened the magazine, and a half dozen photos fell onto his lap. "Oh you play dirty."

After his reaction to the pictures I'd sent him before, an idea sprang into my head. While I didn't have an abundance of lingerie at my disposal at seventeen years old, I knew that variety could accomplish just as much. So I'd taken several pictures of myself in that nightgown he loved, in various positions on my bed, in my chair, and even a couple lying on the rug. "They are for your eyes only. And when those aren't enough, you can open _this_."

He watched as I lifted a sealed pink envelope from the bottom of the box, waving it twice before settling it back inside and kissing his jaw. "And what would be in there?"

I shook my head with my finger pressed to his lips, knowing that he would rip it open right then and there if I informed him of what lay inside. The contents of the letter I'd written him and extra photographs accompanying it, showing a _little_ more skin, definitely had the potential to shift the atmosphere of the night even more. And that was the last place that our entire focus should be that evening, and despite how close we'd become, I _still_ might find myself trying to hide under the couch. It was bad enough that I was already outwardly supplying my boyfriend with the means to get himself off as a Christmas present. "Not while I'm right in front of you, okay?"

An easy smile returned to his features and he pressed a kiss to my fingertip before I let it fall from his face, kissing my lips softly before packing up the box again. "You realize these are probably gonna be gone by tomorrow, right?"

I laughed as he held up the container of cookies again. "Don't worry, I'll make you more before you leave."

Edward set the box by his feet and then shifted his body toward me, with a much smaller one in his hand. His smile faded slightly as he picked at the silver wrapping without looking back up to me. "I really had no idea what you get you for Christmas, Bella. Everything just seemed wrong, or too cliché, or just plain lame. So…"

"Oh no, _you_ didn't go over our fifty dollar limit, did you?" I asked with a heavy sigh.

"No, not exactly," he replied, setting the box in my hands while his shook slightly.

"And what does 'not exactly' mean?" I retorted skeptically, sliding my finger beneath the paper's edge and popping it loose. I lifted the lid to the box and released a gasp, my eyes returning sharply to Edward. "Liar."

"Nope, the tags ran me forty-five," he replied with a smirk as he lifted a set of dog tags from the box that were almost identical to the ones I'd given him the year before, so I knew he wasn't lying about the cost. He slipped them around my neck and I narrowed my eyes at him after I'd gotten a better look at them. "And as for the engraving, a buddy of mine did it for nothing, so I'm off the hook."

Tears filled my eyes as I lowered them again to look at the tags. On one, there was a pair of boots engraved with "Edward" inscribed on the back, and on the other bearing my name, a rose encased by a heart. I smiled and took Edward's face between my hands, kissing him firmly and then sliding my arms around his neck. "You had no need to be nervous, baby. I love them, they're beautiful."

I felt Edward's hand run along my back and sides, as well as his deep draw of breath. "That's not exactly what I was nervous about, baby. Though I'm glad you like them."

I placed my hands on his shoulders, pushing him back from me slightly and searching his face. "Then what is it?"

Edward's fingers closed around mine and brought them to rest between us, running his thumb over the promise ring that still resided on my right hand. "Bella, you know probably more than anyone else how perfect I'm _not_. I've made a hell of a lot of mistakes in my life, and I feel very fortunate that, despite them, you still love and want me. I know what I said last year when I gave you this, and at the time it felt right. But a lot has changed in the last few months, and we need to change with it."

I held my breath, unable to respond as my hands shook in his, and as if he could sense exactly what I was thinking and feeling, he held them both between his securely.

"I may have been lax in some of my morals in the past, but there are some things that have never changed. Most especially when it came to when I found the right girl … woman for me. And I've known for a long time that it's you, but everything is moving so fast now. I want you with me wherever I go, Bella. But there are things I need to do first."

"Like what?" I asked, barely above a whisper, so afraid that he was going to tell me that he wasn't ready for me to join him next summer. That we would have to spend even longer apart, and just with how things had been in the last four months, I didn't know how I'd bear being away from him longer than the next eight.

"Bella, this is one thing that I never want to mess up, because I honestly don't know how I'd manage to get through a single day without you in it. So, call me old fashioned, but I had a talk with your father, asking for his blessing and permission," Edward said softly, pausing and reaching into his pocket again, and this time, retrieving a _much_ smaller box—velvet and unwrapped. He turned one of my hands over and rested it in my palm, but I found myself unable to move or breathe or think at the creak of the top lifting. I allowed my eyes to lower to its contents and I pinched my lips together at the sight of the simple, solitaire ring settled inside—simple, yet so beautiful and perfect. "I really do want to take you with me wherever I go after this. I want to come home to you every single day, to never spend another night without you beside me. But I'd also like to share our first home together with you as your husband, and never _have_ to be without you, ever. When I come back in August, I want to marry you, Isabella Swan."

I released a shaky breath and closed my eyes, unable to believe what I had just heard from Edward's lips. While most people our age were thinking about college applications and summer jobs, and hell, just the next weekend, we were sitting there contemplating the rest of our lives. I knew that someday, I wanted to marry Edward and be with him forever. But the vision of the ring that resided in the palm of my hand at that very moment reflected back at me from behind my lids, and I heard my logical brain tell me that I was only seventeen. I still had my entire future ahead of me. "And my father agreed to this? Is that why he took off so quick tonight?"

Edward's hand's came to rest on my knees as he lowered to the floor, kneeling in front of me as I opened my eyes to look at him. "I would never go against his wishes and do this without his consent. And I know that a year ago, I said we were too young for this. But I can't imagine even another year will make me love you more, or be any more ready to dedicate my life to you. But if you need some time to think about it…"

When he paused and didn't continue, I took a moment to look down at the ring again and ponder everything it represented. _Would_ another year really make any difference? Society would probably say yes, it could make all the difference in the world. But society probably wouldn't agree with nearly every aspect of my life anyway. I was accelerating through high school a full year early, and in a long distance relationship at a very young age, with the first guy I'd ever felt any kind of commitment to. I hadn't dated much to see what else was out there. I didn't take much interest in normal, teenage things, exploring my options—I'd never felt inclined to do any of those things. I knew what I wanted with my whole heart, and it all resided in the man right in front of me. There was nothing that I could accomplish in my life without him by my side through it that wouldn't be just as possible with him there. And I'd be happy as well. I planned on spending the rest of my life with him regardless, so what was the difference if we got married in August or years from then?

"I don't need to think about it," I whispered, bringing my eyes up to meet his again and watching him search mine for a moment, before smiling at him. "I want to marry you, Edward."

Edward exhaled heavily and his face fell to my lap, his hands resting on my thighs. "Really?" he murmured against my jeans.

I brought my fingers to run gently through his hair, but his head never rose. "Did you really think I was gonna say no? Is that why you've been acting so weird?"

His face finally lifted to look at me again and shook his head. "I didn't 'think', I was petrified. Even your father's consent wasn't a guarantee that you'd say yes. And I didn't know how you'd feel tomorrow."

"And why we needed to take separate cars tonight?"

"_That_ wasn't a complete fabrication. I honestly didn't want to subject you to any more of my mother's … issues, if you did decide to see me tomorrow. But I couldn't exactly give myself a pep talk with you right beside me, either," he replied with a shy smile.

"Oh, is _that_ what you were doing?" I couldn't help but giggle at the memory of earlier that evening; now knowing what I was observing, it was a little humorous. Edward rolled his eyes in frustration, and I placed my hand on his face, bringing his gaze to mine. "I love you so much. And I can't wait 'til I can become your wife."

With a smile, Edward took the ring from inside the box and slid it onto my finger. He gazed at it in its place for a moment before gazing into my eyes again and wrapping his arms around my waist. "I love you, too, Bella. Always and forever," he whispered, sealing my lips with his and I couldn't hold him tight enough.

He was _mine_. And he would _be _mine forever.

* * *

**There is a link to Bella's ring on my profile page for anyone who would like to see it. Take care everyone :)  
**


	10. Just When Things Seem To Be Looking Up

**Don't Ever Forget 10 ~ Just When Everything Seems To Be Looking Up…**

**EPOV**

I tried forcing myself to sleep after returning home from Bella's, but my mind continued to race all night. Any excitement I should have been feeling after just becoming engaged to the girl I loved fell to the background when I heard my parents speaking in rough, hushed voices in the kitchen as soon as I walked in the door.

"Esme, will you please just calm down and come to bed? It's getting late," my father said in an exasperated tone.

"No, I'm going to wait up for Edward to come home," my mother replied, her voice sounding equally as tense.

"He's a grown man, dear. He doesn't need his mother burning the midnight oil waiting for him," he sighed and I quietly closed the door behind me. I knew I shouldn't have been eavesdropping on my parents' conversation, but I hadn't heard them speak to each other in such a way since my enlistment. And even that was mild compared to what I was hearing at that moment, and I couldn't comprehend why they would be.

"I don't care how old he is, Carlisle. He is still my son and I will do whatever I damn well please when it comes to him," she hissed with such venom, it caused my blood to feel like ice coursing through my veins.

"Esme, why are you behaving this way? You knew he was bound to grow up someday."

"Why don't you _get_ it? The only consolation to that has been ripped away from under my feet!" my mother exclaimed, now with evident tears in her voice. "This was supposed to be _our_ time. The boys are grown, the Army is behind us, I was supposed to get my husband back. We were supposed to grow old together, play with our grandchildren, everything we've been waiting for. And now, we won't even get that!"

"Esme, this isn't a death sentence," my father said softly and I stood frozen in fear in the hallway. "They caught it early and the prognosis is good."

"It's _cancer_, Carlisle. I don't need to be a _doctor_ to know that there are no guarantees with that!" my mother yelled and I fell back with a thump against the wall, bile rising in my throat.

I didn't need for them to clarify—the last few days made it all too clear. His demeanor, the tired, drawn appearance, the heightened tension in my mother. My strong, resilient father, my hero, had cancer.

"Son?" his voice sounded from a few feet away from me and I slowly lifted my eyes to look at him, shaking my head. "Edward, let's talk about this."

"No. Just … no," I replied, backing away and heading for the stairs with tears burning in my eyes. "I can't…"

I ran as fast as my legs would carry me to my room, slamming the door behind me and collapsing on my bed, where I still laid hours later. Anger and disbelief coursed through me in equal measure, causing silent cries to escape my chest. _Why is this _happening_? _I kept asking myself over and over, pounding my fists into the mattress beneath me. My father couldn't have cancer—he just _couldn't_. As much as I loved my mother, my dad was my pillar of strength, my backbone. All I'd ever wanted to be was _him_, and to have him there to watch with pride as each rank and achievement came to fruition. To be present the day I got married and eventually welcomed my first child into the world.

_Not this. Never this._

After a sleepless night, I finally rose and made my way downstairs. The smell of brewing coffee assaulted my senses and before I could move to return to my room, I heard my father's voice calling from the kitchen.

"Edward, please come here."

I sighed heavily and swallowed hard, my entire body rigid as I made the hesitant steps down the hall until I reached the doorway My father was seated on one of the stools at the island and reached over to pull out the one beside him, gesturing for me to join him. I stood still, folding my arms over my chest—I wasn't sure I was ready for what was to come, but it appeared I had no choice. "Does Emmett know?"

My father leaned forward on his elbows on the counter and slowly nodded. "Yes, your brother knows."

"But you hid it from _me_," I said tensely, my gaze locked on him as his shoulders fell slightly. "What, I'm not grown enough for _that_?"

"Son, _please_ come sit down," my father pleaded in a tired voice and I crossed the kitchen to the coffee pot. It had been a while since I indulged in the bitter liquid, but with no sleep under my belt, I knew I'd need it. Without bothering with milk or sugar, I took the cup and settled onto the stool across from him instead, waiting for him to speak. "Listen, I know you're upset—"

"Upset? Why would I be upset? I only just found out that my father is dying and didn't feel that I had the need to know. Or maybe that I'm man enough to serve my country, but not enough to handle this," I growled, my anger returning in full force. "I knew it. I _knew_ something was wrong, but _you_ told me not to worry about it."

"Edward, first of all, I'm not _dying_. It's very early on, and people come back from far worse," my father replied calmly, meeting my gaze with his ever-gentle blue eyes. "I didn't want you worrying over nothing for your holidays."

"This isn't _nothing_, Dad. Mom was right. This is _cancer_, there are no guarantees. People also die from far _less_, as well," I answered through clenched teeth, my hand gripping my mug in a vice-like hold.

"Only when they give up, and I am far from that. I'm going to fight this, and that's more than half the battle right there," he replied, resting his hand on my arm.

I shrugged off his hand, realizing what he was trying to do. "I'm not one of your patients. I don't need that false hope crap," I said after a moment, my voice lowering minimally as my eyes fell to the counter. "You still should have told me."

"I know, and I'm sorry. I was just waiting for a better time," he replied and held up his hand as I looked back up to him with a clenched jaw. "I was going to tell you long before you left. I just didn't want to ruin your Christmas or your proposal to your girlfriend.

"Well, Christmas has been ruined anyway, and now, I can't even focus on the fact that my girlfriend said yes," I said in an anguished voice, releasing my cup to bring my hands to either side of my head, folding my fingers behind my neck.

"That is still wonderful news, son," he replied, and with my eyes closed, I transported my mind to how that moment _should_ have been. My father, strong and healthy, embracing me at the announcement. Maybe even making a half-hearted remark about how young we were, but supportive all the same. But I couldn't hide forever in the childish imaginings and I opened my eyes again to look at him. "I'm going to be fine. I'm having surgery a few days after you head back to Maryland, and I expect to have a near clean bill of health by summer when you return again."

"That's a little too optimistic there, Dad," I said in a slightly sarcastic tone, my forehead creasing with my words. "Where is it?"

"Prostate," he replied simply and I leaned harshly against the low back of the stool.

"Fuck, Dad," I exhaled heavily, my eyes rolling back as they began to burn again.

"Edward, you may be an adult, but watch your language," he admonished me.

"Sorry, sir," I replied obediently, scrubbing my hands over my face. "It's just … _prostate_?"

"The tumor is small _and_ local. As far as we can tell, it hasn't spread anywhere. It was sheer chance that they found it at all. I went to the doctor for my kidney stones acting up again," he explained slowly, tenting his fingers in front of him on the counter. "The survival rate is very high in cases like mine. Don't worry yourself until there's something to worry _about_, and that's not now. I have no intention of going anywhere and leaving my wife and boys."

I nodded non-committally, my voice lodged in my throat. I wished I could feel the confidence echoed in his words, but I couldn't shake the instant stigma attached to the term "cancer". Pain and suffering. My father gaunt and pale, losing all his hair to the treatments. Death, mourning, the utter devastation to my entire family. My chest was tight and my hands shook under the strain of my thoughts, and from pure exhaustion.

"Edward, I've never lied to you, or shielded you from anything, even as a boy. And I've _never_ made a promise to you that I didn't feel with absolute certainty that I would be able to keep. You know that. I've got a lot more fight left in me than this is going to take. And I _will_ be here when you marry that beautiful girl of yours and long after," my father said in a reassuring tone, and I wanted so badly to believe him wholeheartedly, every word. But instead, I rested my forehead on my arms, folded on the table. "You should go get some rest, son. You're exhausted."

"No, I'm fine. I'm just going to take a shower and head over to see Bella," I replied, shaking my head as it rose and taking a sip of the lukewarm coffee in front of me. I needed her far more than sleep.

"All right. Just be careful, and please, bring her by later. I'd like to hug and congratulate my future daughter-in-law," my father said with a genuine smile, standing up and resting his hand on my shoulder. "I'm very happy for you both."

I rose and wrapped my arms around him, uncaring of the fact that I felt about ten years old again with the motion. "I love you, Dad."

I felt his embrace secure around me gently and he patted my back. "I love you, too, Edward. Always have and will."

**x-x-x**

"Wait, what did you say?" Bella gasped as she shakily lowered to the couch beside me after I told her the news, tears immediately welling in her eyes. "But that's impossible. Your dad is so healthy. He doesn't look sick at all."

I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my palms until I gave in and lowered my head to her lap, finally succumbing to the sob I'd been restraining all night. "He says it's early and insists he'll be fine. But God, Bella, what if he's not? I can't lose my dad."

I heard her breathe out slowly and hugged my arm around her legs as she gently stroked my hair with her fingertips. With anyone else, I would have felt like a complete idiot, crying as I was into the fabric of her jeans and allowing myself to be completely vulnerable. There was also the twinge of guilt running through me for ruining what should have been one of the happiest days of our lives. It was Christmas, we were together, and we'd been engaged for less than twenty-four hours. And instead, I was sobbing into her lap like a child, desperate for the comfort only she could give me.

"I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry," I cried, pressing my lips to her denim-clad thigh. "I just couldn't break down in front of him. I couldn't do that."

"It's okay, Edward. I understand," Bella replied softly, her hand moving to my back and rubbing slow circles against it. "And call me an optimist, but maybe things really will be okay. He's a doctor, so he would know his odds better than the average person. He's a strong man and you said they caught it early, right? And he's got excellent medical care at his disposal."

I sighed and rose from her lap, leaning back against the couch. "But what if he's not? And he dies and I'm thousands of miles away. Hell, just the surgery alone runs just as many risks as any other."

"Baby, listen to me," Bella said firmly and I looked at her as she moved to settle onto my lap. "I love your dad, nearly as much as I love mine. And I can't even begin to imagine how I would feel if this happened to my own father, though I'm pretty sure I'd be just as scared as you are. I _am_ scared right now. But Carlisle Cullen is the last man in the world I could ever see giving up at even a worse obstacle than this. And you shouldn't, either. Fearing the worst isn't going to help at all, Edward."

I slid my arms around her waist and pressed my face to her chest, listening to the low thrum of her pounding heart, and allowing it to calm me a little. I held her tight as what felt like a million thoughts ran through my mind simultaneously. I knew she was right; I couldn't give up. But with my father's diagnosis came a slew of fresh realizations.

While I hadn't understood my mother's behavior before, I did at that moment with startling clarity. For more than twenty-five years, she had been everything an Army wife should be. Patient and understanding, married with two children, and never complaining when, at times, she was raising us on her own while our father was deployed or on other Army business. She had been waiting and praying for all those years to have her husband home and safe, and finally begin her life with him. And suddenly, she was struck with the reality that it might not ever happen. I could understand how it would be difficult to be optimistic when it seemed as if the world was crashing down around her. Both her children had grown and begun their own lives, and the possibility of her husband dying and leaving her completely along was more real than any battlefield he'd ever faced.

There was never a doubt in my mind how much my father loved my mother, and vice versa. But suddenly, my future with Bella reflected in my parents flashed before me, and I didn't like what I saw. Even if I didn't have plans to become a career officer like my father anymore, there were never any guarantees in in this world, and I vowed that I wouldn't make my parents' mistake. I'd never take Bella for granted or make her feel that she was anything less than a priority in my life. If we ever had kids, she wouldn't be a married, single parent. And if I died tomorrow, she would know exactly how much I loved her and how important she was to me. I would tell her and show her in any way I could, every single day for the rest of my life.

"Thank you, Bella," I murmured, gripping the back of her shirt tightly in my fingers. "You really are the best thing to ever walk into my crazy life. You know that, right?"

Bella's lips pressed to the top of my head and I could almost feel her body flush in response to my words as her embrace tightened around me. "I love you, Edward."

"Love you, too," I barely managed to mumble before my body went lax in her arms and I finally fell asleep there against her.

**x-x-x**

I wasn't sure how long I'd been out when I woke on the couch, lying flat with a blanket over me, and Bella nowhere in sight. I rose to sit, my body still trembling with exhaustion, but I didn't want to sleep anymore and waste another second I had with her.

"Bella?" I called out, standing slowly from the couch.

"In the kitchen," she replied, her voice carrying down the hall and I followed the sound.

However, I stopped abruptly in the doorway when I spotted Alice sitting at the table, carseat at her feet and her arms folded over her chest. I fought a smile at the severe look on her face and quickly made my way over to Bella, kissing her cheek and then crouching down in front of my goddaughter. "Good morning, sweet girl."

"Afternoon is more like it," Alice chimed in with her foot bouncing impatiently as I lifted Sarahlynn into my arms. "And don't think you're hiding behind my daughter. How could you not tell me you were planning to propose to my best friend last night?"

"I told Jasper," I replied and a laugh finally escaped me as she gasped with her mouth wide open. "And we both knew that you couldn't keep a secret."

"Oh, that is _so_ not true!" Alice exclaimed, and after the heaviness of the morning and the night before, it felt good to be able to have a light-hearted banter with her. "I'm an excellent secret keeper!"

Both Bella and I looked at her with eyebrows raised sarcastically, and Alice pouted with a huff. I stood with the baby in my arms and took the seat on the other side of Bella, focusing on the tiny fingers that stretched out and then curled back into a fist as I lightly traced the back of her hand. Sarahlynn gazed up at me, gurgling while the girls resumed the conversation they'd obviously been having before I interrupted.

"Honestly, Bella. How is a wedding supposed to come together in the matter of eight months?" Alice asked with the hint of a whine in her voice.

"Very easily. People do it all the time We could even elope if I thought my father would give his consent, since I'm only seventeen," Bella replied, and I was unable to discern if she was serious or not by her expression. Until she broke into a laugh at her father's "Not a chance, Isabella. Graduation first," echoing from down the hall as he came down the stairs to sit in the living room.

"And Edward wouldn't dare do something like that. If Charlie didn't kill him, his brother and best friend _would_," Alice added, her gaze moving to me with narrowed eyes.

"No, Ma'am," I answered with a smirk.

"But Bella, seriously," Alice began, turning her attention back to my fiancée. _Fiancée_. God, I loved the sound of that. "You're still going to be seventeen in August anyway, so why the rush? A few more months would give us so many more options to work with."

Bella stiffened slightly, reaching for her glass of water in front of her and taking a sip. "That's not really a luxury we have, Alice. Edward is in the Army, and we both want to be married before he gets his assignment, and that could be _anywhere_. Which leaves us with August, when he comes back from AIT. Besides, I'm not one of those girls who's been planning and envisioning her perfect wedding since I was a kid. I never did the pillowcase veil or pretend weddings in my bedroom. I didn't even think I'd ever _want_ to get married before Edward and I got together, quite honestly. So the how and when don't matter to me at all. I just want to be with him."

Alice was surprisingly silent following Bella's rant and I glanced over to the love of my life to find her roughly brushing away a tear that had fallen down her cheek. "I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean…"

"I know," Bella whispered back to Alice with her eyes lowered to her lap. "I just really don't want anything extravagant. Things like that aren't important to me. It's just a bunch of unnecessary things, all for the same desired result. To marry Edward. I'd be happier walking down the aisle in jeans and sneakers than all that. As long as our family and friends are there, that's all that really matters."

"Well, aside from the jeans and sneakers thing, which will _never_ happen," Alice replied with a small smile. "I think that sounds amazing and _completely_ you. And August will still be warm enough to even have it outside."

"In Washington, Alice?" I piped in finally. "We have more likelihood of being rained out than a chance at a dry day."

A smile, however small, returned to Bella's lips and her hand came to rest on my leg. "But we still have plenty of time to figure all this out. We _just_ got engaged last night, Alice."

"So? We already had Rose's wedding half-planned by this point when she got engaged to Emmett," Alice quipped with an arched eyebrow.

"We really just want to enjoy our time together right now, before I have to go back," I replied and felt Bella's fingers gently squeeze my knee. "And we're going to my parents' house for dinner tonight."

Bella's head shot up and turned toward me quickly, her eyes wide with surprise. "We are? But I thought…"

"Change in plans. My father wants to see his 'future daughter-in-law'," I said as she trailed off, kissing her temple and attempting to block out the heaviness weighing in around us again, and to quell her confusion. My house was the last place I'd wanted to be that night when we'd last spoken of it the previous evening, and I hadn't had the chance that morning to inform her otherwise.

"And your mom?" Bella asked with questioning eyes, seemingly forgetting that we weren't alone in the room for a moment.

"It will be fine, I promise," I replied reassuringly.

"Wait, what's up with your mom? I thought she loved Bella," Alice inquired, reminding us of her presence.

I looked to Bella, who shook her head subtly, telling me without words that she hadn't divulged any information to Alice concerning my father. And in that particular moment, I was eternally grateful for it. I turned my attention back to Alice and offered a forced smile. "She was just a little taken by surprise with the engagement. Thinks we're a bit young for that."

Alice looked between us with a disbelieving expression, but thankfully, let it go. "Okay, well, I was just stopping by to wish Charlie and Bella a Merry Christmas, and really should be heading over to Grandma and Grandpa Whitlock's with their grandbaby. First Christmas and all, they're kinda making a big deal of it."

I nodded and leaned down to kiss Sarahlynn's forehead before she was lifted from my arms by her mother, asking Alice to give the Whitlock's my regards and a promise to visit them before I left.

With a farewell to Chief swan, Alice was out the door and Bella immediately turned to me. "Your parents' house? Really?"

I stepped toward her and wrapped my arms around her shoulders, kissing her hair. "It will be fine, baby. And if it's not, we'll leave."

"Okay, but I'm driving," she replied and my forehead creased. "You're still exhausted, if the snores rumbling my entire house a little while ago are _any_ indication."

"I don't snore," I called out to her as she pulled away from me and headed for the stairs.

"You do, too!" she practically sang as she disappeared up to her room.

"Like a train," Chief Swan added softly from his recliner with a chuckle and I turned to look at him, meeting his sympathetic gaze.

_Well, _he _knows,_ I thought to myself with a heavy sigh.

**x-x-x**

Bella's hands gripped the steering wheel tightly as we pulled to a stop in front of the house, her lips pressed into a thin line and moisture brimming her eyes. I reached over to trace along her arm lightly and then loosened her hold, gliding my fingers between hers and bringing them to my lips to brush a kiss against my knuckles.

"Baby, we don't _have _to go in there if you're not ready to," I said softly and she turned her gaze to me.

"No, I'm fine," she replied with a small smile and I raised my eyebrow at her. "Really, Edward, I'm okay. Are you?"

I sat silently for a moment, thoroughly pondering that. However, it didn't take long for me to have my answer, and then slowly nodded my head, squeezing her hand gently. "Yeah, I am."

"All right, then let's go," she said, nodding her head toward the car door.

"Okay," I whispered, leaning over to give her a gentle kiss and releasing her hand to step out of the car.

Bella met me at the front and slid her arm around my waist as we made our way to the door, immediately walking into the house to find my parents standing there, waiting for us. She released me once again and walked toward them, wrapping my father tightly in her embrace.

"Congratulations, Bella," he murmured against her hair as he rested his cheek against the top of her head.

"Yes, congratulations. We are so thrilled to have you become part of the family," my mother added from beside them, pressed close to my father's side and her gaze met mine, mouthing "I'm sorry".

Bella opened her eyes to look at her and brought one of her arms to wrap around my mother as well. "Thank you. Both of you."

As I stood watching my fiancée being engulfed in my parents' arms, I found myself relaxing somewhat, despite all that had transpired in the last few days. For the first time in weeks, it really seemed as if things might actually be okay. Even though I would be a few thousand miles away very shortly, I knew that everyone I cared about would be together, and no matter what the outcome of my father's illness, both my parents would have an added support system in Bella.

* * *

**The next chapter is complete and in the process of being pre-read and edited, so hopefully it won't be much of a wait for the next part. Thank you so much for reading **


	11. So Overwhelmed

**Don't Ever Forget 11 ~ So Overwhelmed**

**BPOV**

I was _engaged. _

Even following the aftermath of learning of Carlisle's diagnosis and yet another tearful goodbye to Edward when he left to return to Maryland, I still couldn't seem to keep myself from smiling for long with that knowledge. As weeks passed, I kept waiting for the novelty of it all to wear off, but it never did. Each time I glanced down at the diamond ring gracing my left hand, I felt a shiver of excitement run through me and the corners of my mouth lift.

It was _real_. I was going to marry Edward. By the end of that summer, he would be my husband and we would never be apart again.

While the family, as well as Alice and Jasper, were ecstatic, I decided to keep the news to myself otherwise, at least until after Carlisle's surgery and his subsequent recovery. The initial prognosis was good, with the belief of the doctors that they'd successfully removed the entire tumor, but we all still waited with bated breaths until we could know for sure.

The day Edward told me about Carlisle's illness, I was terrified. I couldn't imagine the Cullen house without him, or getting married with the seat beside Esme empty or occupied by any other member of the family, or how Edward would cope with losing his beloved father. I tried to be supportive and reassuring as I watched him completely shatter as I'd never seen before, but as soon as he was asleep, I couldn't stop the tears from falling.

I had no intention of telling anyone, since it wasn't my place. But when my father walked in the door that morning to find me crying silent tears, his worried gaze broke me fully. I shifted from under Edward's head on my lap, quickly covered him over with a blanket, and nearly ran the short distance to the front door and threw my arms around my dad.

I really had no idea how _I_ would cope if my father was ever given such a terrifying diagnosis, and I couldn't stop telling him over and over how much I loved him. When we finally made our way back to the kitchen, not wanting to wake my exhausted fiancé on the couch, my dad pulled me back into his arms tightly as I explained to him what Edward had told me that morning.

"I knew it had to be something like this for you to be crying in such a way and that boy to look like complete hell," he said softly as he held me without any reservation.

He was right; Edward looked terrible and I hadn't cried like that since the day my mother died. My throat was raw with the sobs and my skin stung from the constant stream of tears tracking down my face. We pulled back abruptly when there was a knock on the door and my dad volunteered to go answer while I composed myself.

I splashed cold water on my face and was drying it off with a towel when Alice came into the kitchen. I quickly explained away my appearance by telling her of my engagement and that I was just a little overwhelmed by the surprise of it all, at which she immediately wanted to wake Edward. I convinced her not to and pulled her into a conversation about the wedding and plans for the future, which thankfully, gave him a few hours of sleep. I even found myself laughing a little with her at the sound of his snores echoing down the hall.

_My poor man must be completely exhausted,_ I thought to myself, trying to will away the anguish over the reason behind it.

Since then, Alice had been relentless, as well as Rose and Esme, in beginning the process of planning our wedding in August. I felt relieved to have my future mother-in-law involved, even if it was partially serving as a distraction for her through Carlisle's recovery, and it set Edward's mind at ease a little as well. We'd both been concerned that his mother would bury herself in worry and never warm up to the idea of the two of us getting married at such a young age.

Before I knew it, it was the end of April and studying for my finals became mingled with the planning stages, and I once again found myself overwhelmed.

"Bella, we really need to decide on a color for the bridesmaids dresses," Rose said one night as we sat in the Cullen's kitchen and I quickly looked up from my calculus book with a confused expression. "Are you even paying a _little_ bit of attention? This is your wedding, and it's only four months away now."

"I know, sorry," I sighed, leaning back in the chair to stretch my stiff back and brushing a few loose tendrils of hair from my face. "I just _have_ to pass these finals or else all this planning will be for nothing, since I'll be back in high school next year."

"And that's what this is for," a new voice sounded from behind me and I looked up to find Angela's smiling face, with a steaming cup of Starbucks coffee in her hand. "Emmett let me in."

"You are a lifesaver," I said gratefully, taking the cup from her hand and immediately blowing over the top before taking a sip. "Thank you."

Angela nodded and gave me a one-armed hug and then turned to pass around the rest of the cups to the other three occupants of the table. Of everyone at school, she had been the only one who supported me completely, without any judgment or suspicions as to whether I was pregnant or not. It was the added comfort I needed to get me through the pre-wedding jitters. "So, what's on the agenda for tonight?"

Alice and Rose sighed heavily with a look to me, and then Alice gazed back at Angela. "We're trying to get Bella to decide on colors, but she's only half here."

"I thought you decided on the red?" Angela said in a questioning tone, her eyes shifting to me.

"I thought I had, too," I replied, my attention turning back to my book.

"But that's so cliché! A red and white wedding?" Alice said with a heavy sigh and I lifted my eyes slightly to give her an annoyed look. "I know, I know. It's _your_ wedding and we're lucky that you're allowing us to do as much as we are with it."

I nodded as she mimicked my repeated statement over the past few months and propped my head on my hand to resume studying again.

"But Bella, you only get married once. Don't you want it to be memorable?" Alice added, leaning toward me slightly.

"It will be," Esme said with a soft smile, resting her hand over mine. "And if Bella wants red, then red it is, Alice. And it will be beautiful."

"Thank you, Esme," I whispered softly to her, giving her fingers a gentle squeeze with mine to express my gratitude.

"Okay, wedding business aside for a minute," Angela started and I glanced up, furrowing my brow at the conspiratorial smirk she wore. "We have a surprise for you."

The mood of the table suddenly shifted to one of excitement as Angela rose and left the kitchen again. When she returned, she held a garment bag in her hand and she laid it out over the chaos of the table. I stood to unzip it and my eyes widened at the contents.

It was a short, black dress with satin and lace accents and a matching sheer shawl. I covered my face with my hands and shook my head—it was a prom dress.

"We all pitched in, since we knew you'd never do it on your own," Rose said with a chuckle.

"Is this _really_ necessary? Can't I just skip out on prom? I'm already a social pariah for getting married at seventeen, but to add going to the prom _stag_ on top of it?" I groaned, my arms falling to my lap.

"Yes, it's absolutely necessary. You promised Edward you would go, and I've already bought your ticket," Angela replied firmly, but her smile never wavered. "It will be nice to hang out with you for a night before you're whisked away into marital bliss. It'll be fun, I promise you."

I tried to nod convincingly as my fingers traced over the soft fabric of the dress, but all at once, I was assaulted with an ache in my chest. It had been nearly four months since Edward left, and I had tried to keep myself upbeat and positive, not dwelling on the fact that I missed him with every fiber of my being. But it was glaringly present at that moment, knowing that the following week, he would still be on the other side of the country while I was expected to have "fun" at my prom.

"You'll look beautiful, Bella. And you _will_ have a good time," Carlisle said softly when he entered the kitchen, coming to stand beside me and stroking my hair before pressing a kiss to my forehead. He still looked so tired and drawn, which I would admit, worried me more than a little after all that time, but it hadn't gotten any worse, either. It was also obvious that he was going a little stir-crazy, having been given medical leave from the hospital while his doctors were waiting the six months to declare him cancer-free, much to his dismay.

Esme frowned at him as he went over to the fridge and pulled out a beer. "Carlisle, you know the doctor said you can't drink."

Carlisle sighed and retrieved a bottle of water as well. "Yes, I know, dear. The beer is for Emmett. He is apparently determined to save me from an evening of horrible reality television tonight with a game of 'manly baseball' instead."

We all chuckled with his air-quotes around his hold on the two bottles and left the room again, and I closed my book with a solid thump. "Okay, I'm pretty much wasted for today. I don't even think Starbucks will help. Is it okay if I stay in Edward's room for the night?"

Esme's eyes met mine and her smile returned with a nod. "Of course, sweetheart. We have a busy day ahead of us tomorrow. Get some rest."

I bid everyone goodnight before they resumed the wedding chatter and made my way to Edward's room. After calling my dad to let him know I wouldn't be home that night, I changed into one of Edward's t-shirts and a pair of sweatpants, and curled into his bed, surrounding myself with the soft covers and his scent that still lingered.

After a moment, I reached for my phone on his bedside table and began to text him.

_You awake?_

I lay for what felt like an eternity, hoping for a reply. It was late, so I was almost expecting him to be asleep already, since it was three hours later there. So I jumped a little when my phone buzzed in my hand.

_Yup, just barely. You okay?_

_Yeah. Is it okay if I call?_

My phone immediately rang after the text was sent and I managed to smile at the sound of the soft music that played before answering. "Hey, gorgeous."

"Baby, you never have to ask that, and you know it. You could call me at three in the morning and wake me from a dead sleep with all my snoring, and it would still be okay," he replied and I laughed at the teasing over his snoring, his voice relaxing me. "You sure everything's all right?"

"Yeah, everything's fine. Just needed to decompress from all the studying and wedding planning tonight," I said, attempting to ease the hint of tension in his voice as I slid my arm under the pillow to press it more firmly against my cheek. "And of course, the _prom dress_."

Edward's chuckle echoed through the phone and I responded with a slight growl, even though the sound relieved me. "Bella, that was the deal. You promised to go to the prom."

"Can't I just go out _there_ for the weekend and spend time with you instead?" I groaned in reply. "You know, I'm still waiting on those weekend visits you mentioned after Basic."

"I know, baby," Edward replied, his voice lowering and becoming more somber. "It's just been so busy here and I'd be no good to you completely exhausted."

"Edward, I wouldn't care if you _slept_ the whole time. At least you might be here in your bed with me," I murmured quietly.

"That wouldn't be much of a visit," he said and then paused. "Wait, you're in my bed?"

"Yeah, I was tired and I'm going out with the girls and your mother tomorrow for a fitting and cake tasting anyway," I answered, smiling at the surprise in his tone and rolling onto my back. "I'm wearing your clothes, too."

A muffled groan escaped him and he was silent for several moments afterward. "Well, I'm sure my clothes never looked so damn good. But we'll see each other soon, baby."

"Not soon enough," I huffed stubbornly, pulling the comforter under my chin.

"Just remember, in a few months, I'll be next to you every single night. And then I'm never leaving your side again," he said in a gentle tone.

My breath left me slowly in one long exhale, and I felt every muscle in my body loosen with his words. "I wish August would just hurry up and get here already. I miss you."

"I miss you, too, Bella," Edward replied softly and my eyes closed as I let his voice soothe me even more. "You remember what to do, right?"

I sighed and nodded, even though he couldn't see me, and I shifted in the bed to get as comfortable as I could. I allowed my mind to drift back to the beach in November, remembering the soft breeze running over me as Edward spoke. After a moment, I could almost feel him beside me, encasing me in his arms and brushing soft kisses on my skin. The scent of him surrounding me seemed amplified with my memories and I felt a smile tugging at my lips. "This is _almost_ as good."

"I agree. I think I'll sleep damn good tonight. Just do me a favor?" he said in close to a mumble, and I hummed in reply. "Don't do anything more than this tonight in my bed. I'll _never_ get to sleep otherwise."

I laughed at the husky tone of his voice and curled onto my side again. "I thought guys liked thinking about their women doing naughty things in their bed?"

"Bella," Edward growled playfully. "I'm not exactly in an environment appropriate for handling the consequences."

"Okay, fine, I promise. You're just lucky I'm too tired for anything like that tonight," I replied with a dramatic sigh and was rewarded with another soft chuckle from him.

"Thank you, baby. Now get some sleep and I'll talk to you soon," Edward murmured softly. "I love you, Bella."

"I love you, too. Goodnight," I whispered and ended the call once he responded in kind, staring at his picture on my phone for a moment before kissing it and closing my eyes.

**x-x-x**

The following week seemed unending with all the frenzied rushing around with wedding planning, which I couldn't fully understand, since we still had a few more months left before the big day. Yet, Alice and Rose insisted that it was essential to have everything ready in advance, leaving nothing to the last minute. I just simply went along with it, though I knew I was one of the few brides-to-be in the world to be going through bridal shops, bakeries, and florists with notes for her high school finals in her hand at all times.

So, much to my surprise, it was actually a relief to be sitting in the kitchen the following Saturday, with Angela standing behind me, doing my hair. It was somewhat relaxing to not have to worry about anything for one night, except keeping still while I sipped at my bottle of water.

"Enjoy that now, because I'm almost done here and moving onto your makeup next. And then there is no drinking whatsoever until much later tonight," Angela said with several bobby pins between her teeth.

"Okay, you have been spending _way_ too much time with Alice and Rose lately. You're beginning to sound just like them," I teased and she lightly tapped the side of my head with her fingertips, causing us both to laugh. "You know I don't really care much about my appearance, right? That was _not_ part of the agreement with Edward."

"Don't test me, Isabella Swan," Angela replied and then gasped softly. "Oh my God, I _do_ sound just like them, don't I?"

I only laughed in response, feeling the pins running along my scalp until Angela appeared in front of me, examining my work. With a silent nod, she began rummaging through Rosalie's makeup case on the table next to us. "Not too much, Angela. I don't even know what half that stuff _is_, and really not looking to become acquainted with it."

"Just some highlights. Now shush," she admonished me softly and went to work on my eyes. I was getting antsy with the effort of holding still for her and breathed out a sigh of relief with the final swipe of the lipstick. "Perfect."

"I heard a rumor that there was a certain, beautiful young lady going to the prom alone tonight."

My entire body froze at the sound of the voice coming from the doorway of the kitchen, and I closed my eyes as tears instantly began building. I was imagining things, I _had_ to be. There was no way that it wasn't a dream or something. But I could feel him in the room with me, and smell his cologne permeating the air. It felt so real.

I took a deep breath and turned my head to look over my shoulder—and there he was, just as I remembered him. Edward stood in the entrance to the kitchen, looking impeccable in a black suit and holding a corsage in his hand, with that devastatingly gorgeous smile on his face.

"Edward?" I whispered breathlessly in disbelief, afraid to speak too loudly.

"Don't you dare cry, Bella," Angela murmured in my ear with her hands resting on my shoulders.

Edward's eyes wrinkled in the corners as his smile grew and he took a few steps into the room. "Did you _really_ think I would make you go to your prom alone?"

I released a soft sob and rose from my chair, quickly making my way over to him and throwing my arms around his neck. I melted into his embrace, hugging him tightly and unable to hold back my tears anymore. "Oh my God, you're actually here!"

Angela sighed behind me, but her amused chuckle soon followed. "I knew I should have waited until _after_ you got here to do her makeup."

I turned my eyes to her without releasing my hold on Edward. "You knew about this?"

"Bella, we _all_ knew about this," my dad said with a laugh as he entered the kitchen. "It wouldn't have been a surprise if we told you, now would it?"

"Traitors," I mumbled under my breath, but hugged myself more firmly against Edward's chest. "I really want to be mad at every single one of you right now. You realize this, don't you?"

I felt Edward's lips press to the top of my head as he held me, and I suddenly became aware of the fact that I was standing in the middle of my kitchen, in nothing but a bathrobe. With my father and fiancé in the room as well, no less.

"Go get dressed, baby." Edward whispered as if he knew what I was thinking and I pulled back, preparing to kiss him before Angela stopped me.

"Later. Upstairs, now," she ordered, pointing toward the hall.

**EPOV**

Some surprises are always more difficult to keep than others, and what I'd planned for that night was no exception. Months' worth of emails and phone calls had transpired between myself and my mother, Angela, Rose, and even Alice and Chief Swan, to make Bella's prom night just the way I knew she'd want it.

I'd been anxious all day after my plane landed that morning, wishing I could have gone directly to see Bella. It had been just over four months since I'd had to say another goodbye, and all I wanted was to feel her in my arms again. And hours might as well have been years as I waited for them to pass.

Yet, once Chief Swan let me in the door that night and I made my way to the kitchen to announce my presence, the look on my beautiful Bella's face made that entire day worth it. Her smile and even the tears causing her eyes to glisten with excitement, was priceless, and I was quickly rewarded with her embrace.

My leg bounced in anticipation as I sat in the living room with her father, waiting for her to come back down.

"Thank you for doing this, Edward. It means the world to her," he said in his characteristically soft voice.

"I'll do anything to make her happy, sir—Charlie," I stammered at the end of my statement, causing his lips to twitch slightly at my continued struggle to call him by his first name.

"I know you will, Edward. And that's why I trust you enough for this," he replied, holding out a plain, white envelope toward me.

I felt my forehead crease as I reached out to take it from his hand, unfolding the sheet of paper inside. My breath left me quickly as I read the print at the top of the page.

Parental Consent for Marriage of Minor Child.

_Well this is a night of surprises all around_, I thought to myself as my eyes ran over his signature on the lines at the bottom.

"I know it's still early, but with all this wedding stuff going on, and not knowing if you'd be back at all before then, I thought you should have it so she could get the marriage license in time," he said with a nervous shrug, his hand shaking a little as he motioned toward the form. "I still can't believe my little girl is getting married."

I knew he was mostly speaking to himself, so I lowered my head as I returned the sheet to the envelope and slid it into my inner jacket pocket to give him a moment with his thoughts. I looked back up to him with what I hoped was a grateful smile. "Thank you, Charlie. This means a lot to both of us."

"Just take good care of her. She's everything to me," Chief Swan replied, his eyes still focused on the front of my jacket, where the envelope resided.

"I will, I promise," I assured him, our gazes meeting for an instant before we heard the girls' voices at the top of the stairs and rose from our seats to wait for them at the bottom.

Bella began taking nervous steps down, but I couldn't take my eyes off how amazing she looked. Her slender neck led down to her nearly-bare shoulders, with the exception of the thin straps of the dress, her slim waist hugged perfectly by the bodice, and her smooth legs appearing below the skirt. I restrained a chuckle at the heels she wore, knowing how much she likely hated them, but they were the perfect accent to her attire.

It was beyond anything I could have imagined, even with all the pictures I'd been sent—she was absolutely breathtaking.

"Wow," was all I could manage to utter when she finally stepped down to the landing in front of me. Her blush brought me out of the indulgence of my gaze and I removed the corsage from its box, sliding it onto her wrist.

"So, where's Ben?" Chief Swan asked with a clearing of his throat, looking over to Angela.

"Oh, I'm meeting him there tonight," Angela replied and we all chuckled softly as he returned to the living room, shaking his head and muttering under his breath about "kids these days".

"Are you ready, beautiful?" I asked Bella, offering my arm to her, which she gratefully took with a nod. I held my other arm out to Angela, who looked at me in surprise but slid her hand through the crook of my elbow, and I gently placed a friendly kiss on her cheek and whispered, "Thank you, Angela. For everything."

**x-x-x**

When we walked into the dimly lit gym, countless eyes fell upon me and the lovely girl I had on each arm. Bella's hand gripped me gently and she moved closer to my side.

"Do they really have to stare?" she asked in a voice just loud enough for me to hear over the music.

"They're just jealous because we've got the best looking guy in the room sandwiched between us," Angela said, and both Bella and I looked over to her with wide eyes.

_Definitely _not_ the shy, soft-spoken Angela _I_ remembered, that's for sure, _I thought.

"I heard that. Trying to steal my girlfriend away, Cullen?" Ben's voice drew our attention back in front of us, and I tensed slightly until I saw his teasing grin. "Good to see you, man."

I shook his outstretched hand until he finally turned his eyes to Angela. "Not a chance. I've got all I need right here."

Bella rested her head against my shoulder as my now free hand came to cover hers on my arm. "And I don't share. Sorry, Ang."

"Oh well, damn," Angela replied, sighing sarcastically and then looked to Ben. "I guess you'll do for tonight."

I watched them walk away laughing and slid my arm around Bella, pulling her closer. "Are you _sure_ that's Angela?"

"Trust me, I've been here the whole time, and _I_ can barely believe it myself," Bella laughed as she hugged around my waist. "Any more than I can believe that _you're_ here with me at prom."

I smiled as we walked together toward the dance floor, reclaiming her hand in mine and twirling her under my arm before pulling her back against me. "You really do look amazing tonight."

"Mmm, so do you. It's not a uniform, but still really hot," Bella smirked, linking her fingers behind my neck.

"You _really_ have a thing for that uniform, don't you?" I chuckled, remembering a similar remark from her at Rose and Emmett's wedding.

"Good luck finding a girl that _doesn't _have a weak spot for a man in uniform, baby," Bella said, pressing her body more firmly against me.

"So, you think it's okay if I kiss you now?" I asked with a soft groan in response and tightened my arms around her.

"I think you'll have more to fear from _me_ than Angela, if you don't," she replied as she rose onto her toes and ghosted my lips with hers before I lifted her up to my eye level, sealing her mouth with mine.

It was the perfect start to what I knew would be a memorable evening.

* * *

**Predictable? Yeah, maybe a bit. But I just couldn't see this Edward **_**not**_** doing something like this for her. **

**See you all soon. :)**


	12. Don't You Wanna Stay

**Don't Ever Forget 12 ~ Don't You Wanna Stay**

It took until that first kiss for it to really sink in that Edward was actually _there_, that it wasn't some kind of dream. With that realization in my mind, I held him as tight as my arms could manage and smiled against his lips so wide, my face hurt. And more than ever, I was thanking every higher power and lucky star in existence for what had seemed like such a ridiculous and pointless high school tradition, known as prom.

"This is so perfect," I whispered, running my hands along his back. "Thank you so much, Edward."

"You're welcome, baby," he replied softly. "Dance with me?"

I sighed heavily, but couldn't keep the smile from my face. "I _suppose_ I can do that, since you came all this way and all."

Edward's arm wrapped snugly around my waist and I pressed close to his side, preventing even an inch of space between us. When we reached the edge of the dance floor, he pulled me against him and I slid my arms around his neck. "Pictures didn't do that dress justice. Looks so much better with you in it."

"I can't believe you planned all this behind my back," I said, tightening my hold on him.

"Sorry, I just couldn't resist seeing that look on your face. You're absolutely breathtaking when you're surprised." Edward smiled, brushing my lips gently with his. "Forgive me?"

"Well, that all depends," I replied with a dramatic sigh, letting my head fall back.

"On what?"

My eyes returned to him and I grinned. "Do you have anything _else_ planned for us tonight?"

"You are a naughty, naughty girl, Miss Swan," Edward replied with a shake of his head, but his smile was unmistakable.

"Well, you're marrying me, so you must not mind _too _much," I said, gazing up at him adoringly.

"Can't say that I do," he answered with a serene smile and held me closer. "And to answer your question, I do believe there happens to be a hotel room with our names on it for later this evening."

"Prom has suddenly lost a whole lot of its appeal."

"Making an appearance doesn't count as attending your prom, Bella," Edward said with an eyebrow raised before lowering his lips to mine.

For a moment, the world was still and all I felt or heard was Edward. I'd missed him more than I had realized, and for that second, everything was perfect. Yet, as with all "perfect moments", it inevitably had to come to an end.

"So, Bella, when are you due?" Jessica's voice popped our bubble and I parted from Edward's lips, turning my eyes to her as she swayed back and forth in the arms of Tyler Crowley. "It's _so _admirable what you're doing, Edward."

I tried my hardest to ignore her, not wanting to stoop to her level, but feeling the tension increase in Edward's arms eliminated all my will to restrain. "What are we, in grammar school, Jessica? Really, you don't have anything better?"

"And you ran off with that dirtbag because he was a regular Prince Charming, huh?" Edward spoke suddenly, taking both me and Jessica by complete surprise. "I can see how positively devastated you are over it, too. Clean up your own back yard before you butt your nose into others."

I couldn't remove my wide eyes from Edward as he gestured to her date and then guided me away with a tenseness to his jaw. "Wow, baby. Tell us how you _really _feel."

Edward's gaze finally returned to mine as I traced along his collar with my fingertips, and he relaxed slightly. "I would, but I won't give her that satisfaction. And I'm not letting _anything_ ruin this night for you, Bella."

I smiled, lifting onto my toes to kiss him gently. "There's nothing that could do that, least of all, Jessica Stanley. Everything that matters is right here in my arms. Just remind me to let her invitation get 'lost in the mail'."

Edward released a soft chuckle and rested his forehead against mine. "I don't know what I'd do without you, baby."

"Well then, lucky for us, we never have to figure it out. We're kinda stuck with each other. You know, with the baby and all," I replied teasingly and he was visibly trying not to smile.

"That's not funny, Bella," he said, shaking his head.

"Oh, I beg to differ. I'm _very_ funny, and you know it," I replied in a feigned, cocky tone.

Edward's smile finally broke through and he pulled me more firmly against him, swaying our bodies along with the slow, rhythmic beat of the music. No more words were spoken for an immeasurable amount of time and we seemed to just simply enjoy each other's presence, until the tempo changed and we made our way to the table, joining Angela and Ben.

"So, I'm waiting to hear it, Swan. 'Thank you, Angela, for being a humongous pain in my ass and forcing me to come to prom'," Angela said as we sat down, with a Cheshire grin on her face. "Come on, you know you want to."

"More like gargantuan," I teased back and she gasped in mock horror, causing me to laugh and lean over to kiss her cheek. "But yes, thank you, Angela. This is perfect."

**x-x-x**

Prom had definitely exceeded my expectations and I actually found myself having a lot of fun. Mike joined us with his date, and after a little while, it seemed as if I had never left and we were back in the cafeteria together. Making jokes about Jessica and her practical dry-humping of Tyler on the dance floor all night, teasing the once shy Angela about her lack of inhibitions, but it was also amazing to see how Ben had brought her out of her shell.

However, the man at my side was never far from my thoughts, and I could hardly wait to finally have him all to myself, alone. I kept thinking about that promised hotel room and the knowledge that I would be falling asleep in his arms that night, and waking up in them as well the following morning. But when the time came to say goodnight and we walked out to his car, I tried to shake the inexplicable nervousness building up inside me.

What was there to be nervous about? It wasn't as if it was the first time for us, and in a few months, he would be my _husband_, for heaven's sake. He would see me at my best and worst. So what was my problem?

Wrapping my hand through his arm as he pulled out onto the road, I leaned over to rest my head on his shoulder. I gripped him tighter when I felt his lips press briefly to the top of my head before turning his attention back to the road, and it suddenly became clear. It was something I hadn't allowed myself to think about all night. "How long do we have?"

Edward drew in a slow breath and I released a sigh—not long at all, apparently. "My flight leaves at ten tomorrow. But we don't have to think about that right now, baby. There's still plenty of time."

"Eleven hours," I replied softly, mostly to myself, as I buried my face in his arm and pressed a kiss to his sleeve.

"It's the last time we'll have to do this, Bella," he said reassuringly, but it seemed to have the opposite effect on me.

"So, this is the last I'll see of you before August?" I asked sadly, my chest aching with the thought.

My eyes remained closed and I felt the car shift as he slowed and turned, before finally coming to a stop. He took my hand and slid his fingers between mine, bringing it to his lips and brushing a kiss against my knuckles. "It's only three months, baby. We've endured worse. And I've already told you, once those rings are on, I'm never leaving your side again."

I opened my eyes to look at him as his forehead rested against mine, taking in the sight of his long lashes fluttering against his skin and the determined set of his lips as he spoke. I lifted my free hand to stroke along his jaw and I kissed him gently, and then nodded. "Okay. We won't think about it, and just enjoy our night."

"Good. I've been looking forward to having you all to myself for months, Miss Swan," Edward replied with a smirk and briefly brushed my lips, releasing me to get out of the car.

I waited for him to come to my door as he usually did, but when he didn't arrive right away and I heard the trunk open, I stepped out myself and walked toward him. "What, are we hiding a body first?"

Edward laughed as he hoisted a bag onto his shoulder and closed the trunk. "Smartass. I didn't think you'd want to go to the airport in the morning in your prom dress, so Angela packed some clothes for you."

"Wow, you really did think this through, huh?" I replied with a laugh as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and hugged me to his side.

We walked through the doors of the hotel and I didn't even bother to take in my surroundings as we made our way to the elevator. I wouldn't have cared if it was the Marriot or some hole in the wall motel—all that mattered was that he was there with me and soon, we would finally be truly alone.

I began to bounce lightly on my toes in anticipation while we stood outside the door of the room, causing him to chuckle as he dug the keycard out of his pocket.

"Anxious much?" he asked with a raised eyebrow and a devilish grin.

"You got that impression?" I retorted sarcastically and grabbed his arm as the door swung open, tugging him inside and crashing my lips to his.

Edward's hands took hold of my hips before sliding around to cup my ass and I could feel his already hardening length pressing against my abdomen. My fingers slid down his chest to pull at his loosened tie and slide it out from beneath his collar as I kicked off my heels. "Yeah, it's pretty obvious."

I moaned against his mouth as the zipper of my dress began to lower and the straps slid from my shoulders until a pile of satin and lace pooled at my feet. "Well, you're not the only one who's been looking forward to this for months, Mr. Cullen."

A playful growl escaped him as his hands gripped my waist, lifting me off the ground and tossing me to land near the center of the king-sized bed. He made fast work of removing his jacket, shirt and pants before joining me on top of the covers, his body coming to rest over me. "I've missed you so much, Bella."

The soft, breathy sound of his voice brought me to open my eyes and look at him, even as his lips sealed over mine. There was an almost visible desperation in the creasing of his forehead and my hands ran along the contoured muscles of his back, flexing and relaxing as he rolled his hips against me. He finally rose, lifting me with him to straddle his lap and unhook my strapless bra, tossing it to the floor. I grinned against his lips as I tugged at the strings of my panties on each hip and pulled the fabric from between us until all that was separating our bodies was the cotton of his boxers.

"Are you _sure_ you didn't know I was coming tonight?" Edward asked as his pressed my hips closer to him.

"Absolutely positive. Otherwise, you might have found a whole different situation under here and _far_ easier access," I said with a grin, grazing his lip lightly and rocking my body over him. "Angela picked these out to go with my dress."

"I think I'm sending you out shopping with Angela and Alice for our honeymoon in that case," Edward replied and hissed through his teeth as my hand slid between us and into his boxers, my fingers wrapping around his length and giving a few slow languid strokes. "Shit, baby."

Finally, I couldn't take anymore and I shoved the fabric down enough to free him, positioning myself over him and taking him inside me. My hands framed his face and I kissed him fervently as I began to move, his fingers gripping my thighs. I couldn't get close enough, feel enough. After five months of being denied his presence and touch, I wanted to completely absorb every movement, sound, and sensation coursing through me and commit it to memory all over again. The way it felt each time he filled me, and how he massaged my skin and pulled my hips closer. My breasts pressing against him with each motion, and causing my body to ache even more for him. "I love you."

Edward opened his eyes to look at me as I pressed my forehead to his and panted in an attempt to catch my breath, sliding my arms around his shoulders. The heat and desire within them was intoxicating, but never extinguished the love and passion within them as well. I swallowed hard at the intensity within them as his right hand slid slowly up my spine and swept back the loose curls hanging down my neck, tilting his head and brushing his lips just below my ear. "I love you, too, Bella."

Before I could take another breath, his arms gripped around me and flipped us over. My body trembled as his chest lowered onto mine, pinning me to the mattress and engulfing me in warmth. I moaned against his lips when they covered mine as he worked his boxers down his legs and kicked them free from his body. He reentered me in one swift motion and my lips parted from his, my neck arching back with a sharp gasp as his hips thrust frantically against me and I dug my nails into his shoulders.

Damn, it felt so good. His need and desperation mirrored mine, and each of his movements sent a tingling jolt to the pit of my stomach, where it trickled out in waves over my entire body. I hitched my leg up along his side and hooked my ankle around his hip, meeting his thrusts with my own. A deep guttural moan finally escaped me until I ran out of breath and my eyes burned from pinching them closed as my orgasm claimed me. I clenched around him, wanting to feel him join me and his fingers fisted in the pillow beneath my head with a groan.

"Fuck, Bella," he growled through clenched teeth and rose above me on his arms, slamming his hips against mine until I felt him pulsing inside me.

My fingers gripped the tensed muscles of his forearms as we rode out the sensations together, our eyes meeting and holding as his movements slowed. Finally, his body lowered back to me and his lips claimed mine tenderly, both of us struggling to regain our breaths. I ran my hands along his back and just enjoyed the feeling of him against me, as close as he could get.

"So, is that what I get to look forward to in August when I finally get you alone? Because that would definitely be worth the wait," I teased against his lips and curled my body up to him.

A look came to his eyes that I couldn't comprehend, but it wasn't the humored response I was expecting and he shook his head. "Bella, I'm not going to _fuck_ you on our wedding night."

"You make it sound like something so disgusting," I replied, feeling my forehead crease in confusion. "It didn't seem to bother you two seconds ago, and quite honestly, didn't bother me in the slightest, either. It felt _amazing_. I'm not going to turn into glass and shatter once we're married, Edward."

"Bella," Edward whispered as he gently stroked my cheek with his fingertips and brushed my lips with his. "I'm nineteen years old. Believe me when I say I have every intention of ravaging this beautiful body of yours as much as humanly possible on our honeymoon. I just don't want to consummate our marriage with a 'hard fuck', that's all. I'd like to start our life together by making love to my wife."

I traced my fingertips lightly along his arm, staring into his eyes as he spoke and swallowing hard at his words. I nodded slowly as my eyes misted and I felt the gentle tug at the corners of my lips. "You always know exactly what to say, even if you _are_ completely old-fashioned."

"You know you like that about me, don't deny it," he said in a lighter tone, ghosting his lips over mine in a teasing kiss.

"I _love_ that about you," I corrected in a whisper, sliding my arms around his back and running my foot along his calf. "I wouldn't spend the rest of my life with anyone less than everything you are."

Edward gazed at me for a moment in silence before lowering his lips to claim mine gently, his body pressing firmly to me and I felt his arousal stirring between us again. My hips lifted to roll against him and he groaned in response, his hand lowering to grip my thigh and hitch it along his side.

"But all bets are off before the wedding," I said in a gravelly tone, my fingers running along his side and slipping between us to guide him back inside me.

"Yes, ma'am," Edward replied with a grin, surging forward and causing another gasp to escape me as he filled me completely again.

**x-x-x**

Waking up the next morning was difficult. Not only was I warm and comfortable in the arms of the man I loved, but the sooner I woke, the sooner I would have to face another goodbye. And that was the _only _thing that saddened me about his surprise of showing up for my prom.

I briefly forgot every thought plaguing my mind as his kisses along the skin of my neck stirred me completely from sleep. I kept my eyes closed, losing myself in the moment and reaching my hand behind me to run my fingers over his hair. Arching my neck, I pressed my back further into his chest and felt his embrace tighten around me as I turned my head to meet my lips with his. And for that instant, my world was absolutely perfect once again.

However, the joy of the moment eventually had to come to an end, and it did so with the four simple words from his lips that I had been dreading—we have to go.

We rode in silence with our hands intertwined between us, the entire way to the airport. We managed brief glances and forced smiles throughout the drive, but I was always the first to look away, knowing I'd break down in tears if I didn't.

_Be strong for your soldier_. It was a phrase I had seen over and over on all the message boards I'd been perusing in my limited spare time over the passing weeks, reading the discussions between military spouses, girlfriends and boyfriends, friends and family members. And I knew it was something I would have to harden myself to, over the next two or three years, until the Army was finally behind us, but nothing would ever make it easier.

My grip on his hand tightened as he pulled up in front of the terminal and my eyes turned to him when the car stopped. "You're not going to park so I can walk you in?"

"No, I'm just going to go, baby. It would only prolong the inevitable and make it harder for both of us," Edward replied in a seemingly calm voice and then leaned over to kiss me, and I felt the tension in his lips that I knew only came from him restraining emotion. "I love you."

"I love you, too. But don't think you're getting away so quickly," I said, trying to maintain my composure as I looked at him and then reached for the door handle. We both stepped out of the car and I waited on the walkway while he came around before I pulled him into my arms. "Something to get me through the next three months."

I felt one of his hands at the small of my back and there was restraint in his embrace, a need to fight the urge to take more. However, the moment I whispered his name, that hand fisted my t-shirt while his other ran up my back, causing tingles along my spine as his fingers spread wide and pressed me that much closer to him. And when his face buried into my hair at the crook of my neck, I understood what he'd been trying to do, and he was right, it _was_ harder to let him go. But I wouldn't have been able to simply let him walk away without saying a proper goodbye, either, when I wouldn't see him again until August.

"Call me tonight when you get in," I said, my voice cracking as I curled my fingers into a fist at his collar and pressed my lips to his temple.

Edward nodded and slowly lifted his head to look at me, cupping my cheek with one of his hands and giving me a tender kiss. "This is the last one, baby."

"And then, once we get those rings on our fingers, you're never leaving my side again," I replied, repeating his frequent words of comfort to me.

A soft chuckle escape in a breath through his nose as his thumb lightly grazed my skin. "Damn straight. I really do love you, Bella."

The tone of his voice coursed through me, signaling that it was time for me to let go. My hands ran from his neck to his shoulders, and then all the way down his arms, hesitant to break contact with him. "I know. You have to go. I love you, too."

Edward kissed me once more before pulling away, bending to lift the small backpack onto his shoulder and made his way into the terminal. I watched him until he disappeared inside the doors and then hurried around the car to get in, shifting it into gear as soon as I had closed the door behind me and driving away.

In a little over three months, it would all be over. Fourteen weeks to go, and I would be Mrs. Edward Cullen, and we would be together, always. And as of that moment, our wedding couldn't come soon enough.

I blindly rummaged through my purse as I drove, finally grasping my phone and dialing Alice. "Hey, do you have any plans for this afternoon?"

"Nothing that doesn't involve burp cloths and a rambunctious six month old. Why?" Alice replied and I could hear Sarahlynn's loud babbling in the background.

"Can you call Rosalie and Angela, and meet me at the Cullens' around two? We have a wedding to finish planning," I said, my shoulders straightening with determination.

"Uh oh, has bridezilla finally come out to play?" Alice asked with a teasing chuckle.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure she has."

* * *

**And here comes the bride :P This should be fun to write **


	13. Wedding Jitters

**Don't Ever Forget 13 ~ Wedding Jitters**

Where once time had seemed to drag on for an eternity, it began to race at full throttle the instant I watched Edward disappear into the terminal. I sat at the table in the Cullens' kitchen that afternoon, completely baffled by all that still needed to be done in order to have everything ready by August. I had no idea how I was going to keep up.

However, my mind and heart were set—I would never say another goodbye to him as I had that morning, or have to go months without the simple, comforting feel of his arms around me, or endure thousands of miles between us ever again. And I knew that in three months' time, I would be his wife and wherever he went, I would follow.

When my finals were behind me at last, I thrust myself completely into the planning of our wedding. In place of my school notes, I began carrying a binder with me everywhere, growing thicker by the day with receipts and details of everything that one day would entail, and I surprised myself immensely.

I'd never thought that my wedding would mean that much to me and consume me as much as it did. I had believed that as long as Edward and I were married by the end of it, things like floral arrangements, minute-to-minute schedules, the lighting of the venue, or whether my hair was up or down, veil or no veil, just didn't matter. And I was bowled over when I realized how wrong I was.

In mid-July, I was making another visit to the hall with Esme, Alice, Rosalie, and Angela in tow, where in just a few weeks, Edward and I would be exchanging our vows. My gaze moved over my surroundings and I began shaking my head.

"What's wrong, Bella?" Esme asked with her hand coming to rest on my shoulder.

"I've decided against the arch," I said, sitting down in the chair beside me and flipping through the binder resting in my lap. I pulled out a small stack of sketches I'd been drawing each night as I lay restless in bed with thoughts and images running through my mind.

The four women stared at me with stunned, blank expressions, and Alice appeared as if she might start crying at any moment.

"Wait, what do you mean no arch? That's like the central point of the altar," Rosalie replied in astonishment and her hand rose to rub her forehead. "You're killing us here, Bella. Your wedding is just over a month away, now is not the time for drastic changes."

"Like you were any better last year? You were the _queen_ of bridezillas and changed your mind on _all_ of our shoes the week before because they didn't glimmer enough," I shot back, earning a glare from her, while Esme, Alice, and Angela stifled giggles. "First of all, it's an unneeded expense. But I also did one sketch with the arch and one without, and it makes the altar look cluttered and distracting from the entire purpose. Everyone will be there to watch us get married, so who cares what else is up there besides us and the officiator. Also, the centerpieces on the tables—"

A collective groan echoed from the group and Esme looked to me. "Sweetheart, we've changed the centerpiece arrangements five times already. This was the one you decided on."

"But there was always something wrong with it, and I finally figured out why. They are too high. Look," I replied, standing up and walking over to one of the tables. In the center, there was a tall vase about the height of the objects in question and I lowered into one of the chairs. "They block the view of everything and if you want to talk to someone across the table, you have to try looking around it. That's not the kind of atmosphere I want for my wedding. So, I want something more like this."

They all glanced down at yet another sketch I laid out on the table of a smaller, circular arrangement with decorative floral vines draping over the edges.

"Where do you come up with this stuff?" Angela asked, shaking her head with a chuckle while tracing her fingers over the drawing. "I think you're the only bride I've ever met who literally sketches out every aspect of her wedding."

My hand rose to my hair, running my fingers through it. "This is the only way to get it out of my head. It's probably the last thing for a while that we will have any control over in our lives, so this day needs to be _perfect_."

I felt Esme's arm slide around my shoulders and give me a gentle, reassuring squeeze, and then I lifted my gaze to meet her eyes. It was something only the two of us could understand that Angela, Rose and Alice never would. For the next few years, the Army would dictate a fair portion of our lives, and Esme had been in my shoes for over twenty-five years. It was just a sacrifice we were willing to make for the men we loved, but our weddings were something that didn't need to be compromised.

"Okay, I will take this to the florist while you three go and order the cake. You have decided on a flavor, right?" Esme inquired, looking at me hopefully.

My eyes went wide and I slapped my hand to my forehead with a groan. "Damn it, I keep meaning to ask Edward about that and I never remember. I _knew_ I was forgetting something."

"Bella, I don't think it will matter much to him. The groom's only _real_ job is to show up on time," Rosalie said with her hands resting on my shoulders.

"He has to eat it! And he's not big on sweets aside from my cookies. I need to ask," I said hurriedly, digging my phone out of my pocket and thanking heaven in was Saturday. I wouldn't have to contend with Edward's voicemail.

"Hey, baby. Are the girls driving you crazy yet?" Edward asked in a teasing, groggy voice.

"More like the other way around, I think. And were you _sleeping_?" I replied, my voice sounding somewhat frantic, even to myself.

"No, I wasn't sleeping, just being lazy for the day. What's up?" he said with a chuckle.

I sighed as I stood to follow the girls out to Angela's car. "Okay, well, laziness ends now. I need your input. We're going to order the cake and I need to know your preference for flavor."

"Uh," he started, drawling out the word and then chuckled. "I don't have one? Honestly, baby, I'm sure whatever you pick will be fine."

"Edward," I groaned as I lowered into the passenger seat of the car and mouthed "shut up" to Rosalie as she gave me her signature "I told you so" look. "One decision is all I'm asking. This is your wedding, too, and you have to eat this."

"It's only one bite if I don't like it," Edward replied with a laugh.

"I swear to God, Edward Cullen, I will shove it so far in that it will come out of your nose and you'll taste it for _weeks_ if you don't help me out here, _honey_," I retorted with a growl, causing the other three girls to join in with his laughter.

"I think we were all better off _before _Bridezilla came out to play," Alice muttered in the back seat.

"I wasn't _this_ bad, was I?" Rosalie asked and Alice and I turned to level her with sarcastic glares. "Well, I didn't threaten Emmett with _too_ much bodily harm."

Edward's laugh rang in my ear and I rolled my eyes, facing forward again as he cleared his throat to answer. "I guess chocolate would be the best bet. You're less likely to have someone not like chocolate, right?"

"Okay, but are we talking death by chocolate, or fudge chocolate, or maybe a marble cake?" I asked, flipping through my binder again.

"Um, marble?" Edward replied uncertainly and then chuckled again. "Baby, just relax. Everything is going to be fine."

"Easy for you to say. I've had to choose the menus, the tuxes, the dresses, the flowers, and I still need to get the rings, which should be _your_ job, might I remind you," I said in one breath, leaning back in the seat.

"Bella, breathe. You sound like you're about to hyperventilate. And I'd like you conscious when I marry you, if at all possible," Edward instructed gently and I groaned at his attempt at lightening the moment. "Our wedding is going to be perfect. You know I would help more if I could, and you are doing an amazing job."

I took a slow, deep breath, feeling some of my anxiety begin to disperse within me and my vision blurred slightly with tears of release. "I know you would, Edward. I don't know why I'm so damn nervous and uptight and a complete wreck, and calling and yelling at you, and—"

"It's called being a bride, baby. It's okay," he interrupted me calmly. "And I love you."

"Even with my crazy bride behavior?" I asked with a small laugh.

"If you can believe it, even more so _because_ of it," he replied with a smile evident in his voice. "Though, if you _really _want to make it up to me, I wouldn't say no to more of your cookies waiting for me when I got back."

"You've already finished the ones I sent you for your birthday?" I asked, rolling my eyes and shaking my head.

"Well, that was almost a month ago, and it wasn't all me. I just happen to be one of the few guys here with a girlfriend who bakes," Edward replied.

"Okay, Edward, say goodbye now. We need to start planning your fiancée's bachelorette party. No male ears allowed," Rosalie called from the back seat and I looked back to find her grinning smugly.

"Bachelorette party, huh?" Edward said with an odd tone to his voice.

"No, there will be no bachelorette party. Alice already weaseled a bridal shower out of me," I replied, narrowing my eyes at both of them. "Rose just happened to find out about Emmett's, which means Alice did, too, and they just want payback."

"It's all right if you want to have one, Bella," Edward said in an obviously forced calm. "I'm sure the guys will want to do something with me the night before the wedding, too. But nothing like Emmett's."

"Well, I don't. So there's that conversation at a close," I replied sharply in the girls' direction and then turned back around in my seat. "So, marble cake and cookies when you get home. Anything else?"

Edward released a slow breath and I felt relieved when his voice sounded more natural when he spoke again. "Nope, that's all I can think of for now, besides see you in a few weeks?"

"I can't wait. I promise I'll be less neurotic by then. I love you," I whispered softly into the phone.

"I doubt that, but it's more than okay. I love you, too, baby," Edward replied and we murmured quiet goodbyes before ending our call.

I leaned back into my seat again and close my eyes, feeling much more relaxed than I had before I spoke to him. One more month, and he would be back in my arms. He would be mine forever, and our life together could really begin.

**x-x-x**

Three weeks later, I was sitting in the Cullens' massive living room, surrounded by gifts and a small gathering of friends and family. Most of the boxes I opened were relatively normal things like housewares and a beautiful quilt Esme had made for our new home. And then I got to the presents from Alice, Rose and Angela, and I began blushing furiously—especially with my future mother-in-law sitting right next to me.

Each one was a different article of lingerie, some more racy than others, and I was suddenly regretting putting the squash on the bachelorette party, where gifts like that would have been more appropriate. I adamantly refused to read the cards aloud with messages like "Here's to a 'memorable' honeymoon" and "Not that it will stay on for long", and I quickly shoved the boxes behind the other gifts, not daring to even glance over at Esme. Or worse, Edward's seventy-two year old grandmother, who'd flown out to stay with the Cullen's to witness the wedding of the second of her grandsons in a year.

"Sweetheart, don't worry. Even my mother knows what goes on during a honeymoon, and for many years after in the marital bedroom," Esme whispered softly and even chuckled as I buried my face in my hands.

Thankfully, I was spared of any further embarrassment throughout the day as discussion moved toward the details of the wedding that was exactly two weeks away. I was still excited, but it was also combined with the nervousness of the prospect of actually _being_ married. Would I be a good wife for Edward? Would we stay as happy as we were at that moment once five years had passed? Or ten? Or forty? Would I be a good mother to our children, if we decided to have them somewhere down the road? Would he always love me?

That evening, after most of the guests had left, I sat in the kitchen with Esme, Rosalie, and Grandma Platt, sipping my tea silently as they continued to chatter around me. I barely noticed when their voices had fallen silent until I felt Esme's hand rest on my arm and I looked up at her.

"You're very quiet tonight, Bella. Is everything okay?" she asked gently with concern in her eyes.

"Yeah, I'm just tired. Long day," I said, nodding my head and forcing a small smile. "And a little nervous, I guess."

"We all get a little case of the nerves before we get married, Bella. No matter how much we love the man that will be waiting at the end of that aisle for us, every one of us goes through it," Esme said in a soothing voice, taking hold of my hand.

"Have you forgotten how crazy _I_ was, even the night before my wedding? And then you practically had to take my hand and drag me to the aisle, and I love Emmett more than anything," Rosalie added with a laugh, shaking her head at the memory.

"For weeks before I married Grandpa Platt, I was a tangle of nerve like you wouldn't believe. I was just a touch older than you are now at the time, and he and I had only known each other for a matter of months. My mother and father wanted me to marry well, and he was quite a catch," Grandma Platt said with a twinkle in her eyes, long distant memories swimming within them. "But I tell you, I don't think I could have chosen anyone better for me. I was one of the lucky ones, and oh, how that man loved me. Spoiled me rotten, he did. But no one could ever say he didn't love me 'til the day he left this world."

We all watched as her fingertips rubbed over the locket hanging around her neck, and she didn't have to say the words for it to be clear how much she still loved and missed him. And I knew that Edward was still a little boy when Grandpa Platt passed away. I felt an ache in my heart for her, but at the same time, she inspired me, just as Carlisle and Esme had. That kind of love really wasn't so much of a stretch for the imagination, and could even be possible for me and Edward in our life together.

"I know you'll be one of the lucky ones, too, Bella. I saw the way my grandson looked at you at the wedding last year, and I know everyone else did, as well. It was obvious. My boys know how to treat and respect a lady. Even my little Emmy," she said with a smirk, which turned into a round of laughter from all of us as Emmett groaned "Grandma!" from the next room. "Don't you worry about anything, honey. Marriage is a lot of hard work, but it can be one of the most rewarding jobs in the world, short of being a parent. And I must say, I'm quite looking forward to meeting my great-grandchildren before I go."

Rosalie and I both straightened in our chairs, clearing our throats as Grandma Platt's eyes moved between us. "Well, Emmett and I still want to wait a bit so we can look into a bigger place. So, at least another year or so before we even start trying."

I shifted a little in my seat, tucking my hair behind my ear nervously as all gazes had settled on me. "We're not really thinking that far ahead into the future, either. I mean, we're still pretty young and probably not going to consider anything like that until Edward is out of the Army, and we can settle somewhere permanently."

"Oh well, there's still plenty of fun to be had in the meantime," Grandma Platt said with a wink over her teacup.

"Mother!" Esme gasped, apparently just as stunned by the statement from her proper, Bostonian mother as the rest of us were.

"Esme, dear. Don't act so surprised. You said yourself that I'm no stranger to the knowledge of what happens between a man and a woman in the marriage bed," Grandma Platt said with a sigh, setting down her cup in the saucer. "And this is nothing compared to the talk I gave _you_ before your wedding to Carlisle."

"And please, let us not revisit that. You nearly ended up without any grandchildren at _all_ with how traumatized you left me," Esme replied, her shoulder visibly shuddering as she spoke, but it definitely broke the uneasiness of the table. "So, how about we change the subject, right now."

"I think I'm going to head home. I promised Edward I'd call before I went to sleep, and I'm halfway there already," I said as I stood, giving Rosalie and Esme a quick hug goodbye before moving over to Edward's grandmother. "It was very nice to see you again."

"You, as well, my dear. Tell that grandson of mine that I love him and I can't wait to see him all handsome in that uniform. And to call his dear old grandmother once in a while," she replied, kissing my cheek lightly as I leaned over to her.

"I will do that. Goodnight everyone," I said softly, grabbing my purse and walking out of the kitchen, calling down the hall when I reached the front door. "Goodnight, Emmy!"

"Grandma!"

**x-x-x**

I'd barely gotten halfway home and I was already dialing Edward. The entire day had truly been long and tiring, and I knew, if nothing else, his voice would keep me awake long enough to get home and to my bed.

"So, how did the bridal shower go?" Edward asked, sounding about as tired as I felt.

"It was fine. Until, of course, your sister-in-law and my so-called friends decided to embarrass the hell out of me by giving me lingerie, in front of your mother and grandmother!" I groaned, gripping the steering wheel tightly with my free hand. "And you didn't warn me that your grandmother was such a raunchy old lady!"

Edward's laugh burst through the phone and I found myself echoing it as well. "Just remember, you inherit Rosalie when we get married. And yeah, I guess I should have given you more of a heads up about Grandma, I just figured you knew from when she was here for Emmett's wedding. I honestly couldn't have been surprised less if you told me that she had helped the girls pick out the lingerie. Who do you think gave me my first sex talk that my parents know _nothing _about?"

"Your _grandmother_?" I exclaimed with wide eyes, astonishment and shock not even being strong enough words to describe my reaction. "And please, don't even put that image of your grandmother in the middle of Victoria's secret, picking out naughty lingerie for her grandson's fiancée, in my brain. I don't think I can take much more today, please."

"So, naughty lingerie, huh? Can't wait to see it," Edward said huskily, and I could hear the devilish smirk on his face.

"You'll be lucky if I even remember to _pack_ it," I retorted, rolling my eyes as I turned into my driveway.

"Baby," Edward nearly whined and began muttering under his breath.

"Do you plan on getting laid at _all_ on your honeymoon? Just curious?"

"Fine, I'll be good," Edward said with a sigh, but a chuckle immediately followed. "I can't wait to see you next week, with or without the lingerie."

"That's better," I replied, walking up the front steps of the house. "I can't wait to see you, either. You have no idea how much I just want a break from the madness around here for even an hour, and just kiss the hell out of you. So hopefully you're ready to be stuck with me in two weeks."

"I am if you're ready for the same," he teased me back softly, and I could almost imagine his breath brushing against my ear as he spoke.

I sighed happily as I climbed the stairs to my room. "Definitely. I just really want you to get here already. Next week still seems so far—"

My words halted as my eyes caught sight of a large manila envelope with my name on it, with the return address of ASU in Arizona, setting on the top of a box beside my desk with a pile of discarded junk mail. I stepped closer to the table and took it gingerly in my hand. Perhaps it was another one of those junk college pamphlets and advertisements I'd been getting for months, but it didn't _look_ like one of those. I hadn't inquired about anything for college, since I had no course of action planned for that at the time, but the letters ASU stood out in bold letters from the label and they were impossible to ignore.

"Bella, are you still there?" Edward asked uncertainly and I let out a slow breath, sitting down in my chair.

"Yeah, I am. I just happened to see something sitting here from ASU," I replied, setting it down on the desk.

"ASU? You didn't tell me you were looking into stuff like that," Edward said in confusion.

"I wasn't. It's probably just some more junk mail that I've been getting since I just graduated, since it was in that pile of stuff. The logo just caught my eye. Look," I replied, rolling my eyes and tearing the envelope to retrieve the papers inside. I cleared my throat for dramatic effect and began to read the contents. "Dear Miss Swan, We are pleased to inform you that you have been recommended for consideration for a full scholarship for the 2011-2012 school year. The decision to award you this scholarship was made … Oh my God."

Edward echoed my sentiment and the line fell silent on both sides for a few minutes. "Bella, maybe we should think this over."

"Are you kidding me, Edward? Really?" I replied, throwing the letter down on the bed. "Two weeks before our wedding and now you're having second thoughts?"

Edward sighed heavily with a slight groan afterward. "No, I didn't say I was having second thoughts. But Bella, it's a scholarship. That's not something you just toss aside without even a consideration. It would be a chance to do something for yourself."

"Okay," I said tensely, my body rigid with frustration. "Even if it _wasn't_ August and _very_ late for registration, or I hadn't planned on taking a year off after graduation before we even started talking about getting married this summer. I've already _made_ my decision of what I want for myself. You asked me to marry you, and I said yes. I have been busting my ass non-stop for three months, trying to plan our wedding so we can finally be together, where I _want_ to be. The last year has been hell with you so far away. I'm not about to go and add at least four more years to that. Do me a favor and call me back when _you're_ absolutely sure this is what _you_ want."

"Bella—"

"No, Edward, I'm not discussing this anymore. This is _my_ decision to make. And you say you want me to make my own choices for what's best for me, so stop challenging every single attempt I make," I replied, already on the verge of tears. "When you asked me to marry you, you weren't thinking about scholarships or college or _anything_ except being with me. Why should this piece of paper matter so much now after everything we've been through to get this far. And tell me, Edward, if I had gotten this letter days before you asked me, would we still be making wedding plans right now?"

I abruptly ended the call, cutting off any response he was trying to make and tossed my phone onto the bedside table. My gaze began moving around the room, my vision blurred with tears as it attempted to focus on the nearly empty walls and sealed boxes neatly stacked along them. I'd been packing for over a week, everything except the things I would need before the wedding, and that pile of paperwork was one of the last things I was planning to get to. If it wasn't an RSVP for the wedding or my diploma that came for me in the mail, it had been tossed into that box. I didn't want to see or think about anything else—nothing else mattered to me.

My eyes fell to my left hand and I brushed my fingertips back and forth over my engagement ring. _How can this happen two weeks before my wedding?_ I thought and glancing over to my bedside table as my phone began to ring, and I silenced it as soon as I saw it was Edward. I drove my hands into my hair and fell sideways to bury my face into my pillow as sobs began to wrack through my body.

"Bella," a soft voice came from my doorway a few minutes later and I turned my tear-streaked face to find Sue standing there. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"I knew everything was going too well. No wedding runs absolutely smooth, but I thought it would be some wedding mishap like my dress being wrinkled, or someone dropped the cake. Never that Edward would get cold feet. _Never_," I cried, curling my body into a tight ball with my knees pressed to my chest.

Sue crossed the room, sitting down on the edge of my bed and began gently stroking my hair. "What happened?"

"That," I replied simply, pointing to the letter that might have easily just shattered my world and closing my eyes. "I should have just shredded it all weeks ago."

I felt her touch leave me and heard the crinkling of paper as she took the letter into her hand. A soft gasp escaped her and I turned my head back into my pillow. "Oh my goodness, Bella. This is a big deal."

"No, it isn't. Not to me. I don't want this," I replied, curling my fist around my pillowcase. "I would be miserable, Sue. I didn't want this _before_. I want Edward, to be with him. But I'm beginning to wonder if he really wants me the way he says he does."

"Bella, he loves you. I'm sure he just wants what's best for you," Sue tried to say comfortingly, but I rolled onto my back to look up at her to see the same conflict in her eyes that I felt in my heart.

"What about what _I_ want? I wanted to do the accelerated program for school so I could graduate early and be with him sooner, and he got angry with me. I _didn't_ want to go to the prom, and even though I don't _regret_ going because I got to see him, it wasn't _my_ choice. I want to get married, not go to college, and he's trying to talk me out of it. Any decision I try to make, he challenges. And what about what's best for _us_ as a couple. If he thinks that's being apart _longer_, why is he even with me?" I ranted, my sobs increasing with each statement.

Sue moved closer to me and took me in her arms, allowing me to cry it out a little longer before speaking again. "I really don't believe that it has anything to do with wanting to be with you or not, Bella. He took the chance of asking your father for his seventeen-year-old daughter's hand, knowing very well that Charlie could have refused, since you were still so young. He asked you to marry him so that he could be with you and have you with him wherever he went. That doesn't sound to me like a young man who wants to be away from you longer. I sincerely think that he just doesn't want you to regret anything you've given up to be with him, years down the road."

I hugged myself against her, absorbing the comfort she was providing. Edward _had_ said pretty much the exact words to me many times. In fact, that was exactly _why_ I'd ended up agreeing to attend my prom. I just couldn't see how I could ever regret a decision that would bring us closer, and sooner, at that. If I'd never met or fallen in love with Edward, I could admit that I might have been tempted by an offer like that for ASU. I loved Arizona, and the chance to return there for school would have been very appealing.

However, the reality was that I _had_ done both of those things. My future was with him. School wasn't something that I would have to sacrifice forever, if I ever decided that was something I wanted. But years without Edward was something I would _never_ get back, no matter how many or few there were.

My phone began buzzing on my bedside table and both of us looked over to it, seeing Edward's name on the screen. I reached over and sent the call to voicemail again, and then curled back against Sue.

"Honey, you're going to have to talk to him sooner or later," Sue said gently, hugging her arms around me again.

"Not tonight. I'll call him tomorrow, maybe," I replied through tensed lips. "And Sue, I know it's asking a lot, but can we please not mention this to my dad?"

I felt Sue's chest rise in a deep breath against my cheek and I glanced up at her again. I pleaded silently with my eyes for her to understand and she sighed, nodding hesitantly in acquiescence. "I don't like keeping things from your father, but I understand."

"So, you don't think I'm just being a stubborn, unreasonable witch?" I asked, curbing my tongue in her presence.

"Well, maybe a little," Sue replied, but she grinned with a wink at me. "But you also sound like a young lady very much in love, and I know exactly what that's like."

I smiled and nuzzled back into her side, closing my eyes again. "I'm really glad my dad met you, Sue. Thank you."

"So am I, Bella. And you're welcome," Sue whispered softly and held me until I finally fell asleep there in her arms.

**x-x-x**

The next morning, I woke and looked to my clock, noticing that it was nearly ten. I sat up abruptly and shoved the blankets off that had been tucked around me at some point in the night. The red flashing light of my phone caught my peripheral vision and I scrubbed my hands over my face. I knew that it was more than likely a message from Edward and I wasn't sure I was really ready to deal with it all just yet.

Instead, I rose and made my way to the bathroom, showering and preparing for my lunch with Esme, Grandma Platt, and Rosalie, that I was almost dreading. Which only served to drive my need to resolve things with Edward sooner than later. I wasn't sure how I could face them with the way I was feeling at that moment and as I looked after a night of crying.

Once I'd dressed, I returned to my room and grabbed my phone from the table's surface, quickly checking my messages.

There was no voicemail from his call, so it was obvious he knew that I was avoiding him. But there were text messages.

_Please answer, Bella. Talk to me._

_Baby, please. I'm sorry._

_Okay, I know you're angry, but please call me in the morning. I love you, Bella._

My lips pressed together more firmly with every word I read and I rolled my eyes back to restrain my tears. He sounded afraid, desperate. As if _I_ was the one threatening to upend our future, when all I wanted was the exact opposite.

I hit my speed dial for Edward, barely able to take the deep breath I needed before he answered on the first ring. "Did you sleep with that thing or something?"

"Or something," he replied, his voice once again sounding tired and drawn. We began to speak again at the same time and paused just as abruptly, and even with as much as I had to say, I offered to let him go first. "Bella, I never meant for you to think that I don't want to marry you with everything in me. You just seemed like you might have actually been considering the offer last night. You went completely silent when you saw what that letter said."

"I was surprised, Edward. I've never applied for or even inquired into as much as a single pamphlet _anywhere_. I made my decision and I know exactly what I want. I worked so hard for six months just to graduate a year early so I could be with you and still have my education. I _told_ you that I didn't even want to _think_ about college for a while, until I was absolutely sure of what I wanted to do. Even with a scholarship, it's pointless and wasted time and money if I don't even have my mind set on a definite path. And just as ridiculous to sacrifice time with you over it. That is something I _would_ regret for the rest of my life," I tried to say calmly but I still felt a tear slip down my cheek. "I _am_ sure that I want to be your wife and with you as soon as I possibly can. And I hope that's what you want, too."

Edward's breath left him in a rush and I heard him swallow hard. "I do. I want that so damn much, Bella. I don't know how I would bear any longer without you. That letter scared the shit out of me last night. I knew I wouldn't fight you if you decided to go, no matter how much it would have killed me."

"It'll never be too late for me to go back to school, whenever I decide to go. But it's not my priority right now, Edward. And it would _need_ to be in order for it to be worth it at all," I replied, folding my legs beneath me as I sat on my bed. "You and _us_ is my priority. And my happiness, and that's with you, making you happy, too."

"Thank you, baby. God, thank you," Edward whispered, sounding as if he could have been in tears.

I wished more than anything that he was there with me, so I could hold him and kiss him senseless at that moment. "You honestly thought a scholarship would be more important to me than this?"

"No, but you know I won't ever try to hold you back from anything you want ever again, right?" he asked.

"Yes. And what I want right now is _you_," I replied, finally feeling a genuine smile touch my lips.

"Six more days, and I'm home, baby," he said, his voice sounding a little more relaxed.

"I'll be waiting."


	14. The Day We've Been Waiting For

**Don't Ever Forget 14 ~ The Day We've Been Waiting For**

**BPOV**

I was losing my mind. I was seriously on the verge of having a complete nervous breakdown.

The day I was to pick up Edward at the airport, I was repeatedly asked if I wanted someone to come with me. I was anxious and nervous, talking a mile a minute with everyone around me, and no one seemed certain that I was safe to drive the long distance to and from Seattle. However, I knew that we both needed that moment of just the two of us, especially since I knew it would most likely be the last chance we had before the insanity of the following week set in with the last minute wedding preparations. That, and after the fight we'd had the previous Saturday, it was even more important for us to reconnect after months of being apart and reaffirm to each other that everything really was going to be okay.

I crossed my arms in front of me as I stood at baggage claim, spinning my engagement ring around my finger with my thumb and bouncing lightly on my toes while my gaze searched frantically for him. The instant he appeared, my eyes began to tear as he hurried his steps toward me and swept me into his arms, hugging me tightly. I held onto him with every ounce of my strength, burying my face in his shoulder and soaking him in. My anxiety slowly began dwindling with his firm embrace and diminished completely when he pulled back enough to claim my lips in a sound kiss.

It was everything we both needed—we would be just fine.

"I wish I could stay here with you all day and do nothing but that," I panted breathlessly as we parted and our foreheads rested together. "But we do need to grab your bags and go. You get to spend the afternoon with the guys while they get their tuxes fitted and I have a million errands to run before I can even pick up my shoes and veil."

Edward whimpered jokingly and tightened his arms around my waist. "Not even five more minutes?"

"I wish, baby. But we're running on a ticking clock," I whispered, tracing my fingers along the back of his neck.

"One more of these, then," he murmured and I didn't have a chance to respond before his lips descended on mine again. His hands slid down to just below my waist, pulling me closer and I tightly grabbed his collar in response.

Damn, I'd missed him so much.

"We've really got to go, Edward," I mumbled regretfully against his lips after a moment before we got too carried away right there in the middle of the airport.

Edward sighed and pressed his lips to my forehead, slowly loosening his hold on me. "Thank God for the honeymoon, that's all I'm going to say."

I chuckled and playfully swatted his shoulder, even though I couldn't deny I'd been thinking the very same thing. He took my hand and slid his fingers between mine, continuing to press kisses to my hair as we waited for his bags.

We finally made our way out of the airport and to his car, and his brow rose as he glanced inside. "Well, I _used_ to have a back seat."

I rolled my eyes and gestured for him to get in, trying myself to ignore the stack of boxes piled on the seat as I settled into the driver's side. "This is nothing compared to my car back at home. I left enough room for your bags. And that's just a small hint of everything I need to do today. I'm putting some of my stuff into storage that I won't need anytime soon, I've got some things to drop off with your mother. The list goes on and on. We could trade. I'll go sip a Starbucks coffee and watch a bunch of guys get poked and prodded with pins, no problem."

Edward laughed as I bat my eyes at him teasingly while I pulled my seatbelt on and shook his head. "No, thank you, baby. I'd be sure to mess something up, but I will take a Starbucks."

"Edward, you _never_ drink coffee anymore," I said, shocked for a moment.

"Emmett and Jasper. All afternoon. Need I say more?" he replied, raising a single eyebrow at me.

I laughed and nodded. "Yeah, that's at _least_ a four shot experience. Espresso coming up."

After what had to be the briefest trip from Seattle to Forks in history, my earlier predictions came to fruition. Edward and I had struggled for so much as five minutes at a time completely alone. With everything that still needed to be done before our wedding the following week, someone always seemed to need one or both of us for _something_. And at the end of each day, we were both so completely exhausted, we were lucky if we barely shared a brief kiss, at most, before I went back to my house and he went to his.

So by the time the eve of our wedding arrived, the idea of not seeing him at _all_ that night and having to wait until I was walking down the aisle did not exactly put me in the best of moods. I even tried to reason with Alice, Rose and Angela that we'd already spent so much time apart, that it should count for _some_thing, but to no avail. They bolted the door, surrounded me on all sides, and made sure the baby was in my lap at all times, making a quick getaway nearly impossible.

The only thing that kept me from losing whatever sanity I had remaining was knowledge that by the same time the following day, I would be Edward's wife. Mrs. Isabella Cullen. All the craziness of the past few months would be behind us and we would be on our honeymoon, where no one could disturb us for seven glorious days. Our phones would be off and he would be all mine.

"So, he still doesn't know where you're going tomorrow night?" Angela asked from her seat beside me, running her fingers over the soft curls of Sarahlynn's hair.

"Nope. And I'm a little nervous about that, honestly. He told me whatever I chose would be fine, but I know him well enough to _also_ know that he'd never tell me if he hated it," I replied with my eyes lowered. "I'm not exactly known for my creativity in these kinds of things."

"Oh, bullshit. Look at everything you've done just with this wedding. He's going to be blown away. I think you could pitch a tent in the middle of the woods somewhere, and he'd forget all about the mosquitoes and bears the second you stepped out in some lingerie. Men only think about one thing when it comes to their honeymoon," Rose added with a wink.

"Don't get me started on the lingerie again, Rose. I'm _still_ trying to live down the mortification of my bridal shower, okay? And I still can't look at Esme or Grandma Platt with a straight face, thank you very much," I groaned, wishing I could bury my face somewhere and would have if I didn't have a sleeping baby in my arms.

"Well, sweetie, you're going to have to just get over it for five seconds," Alice said in a sickeningly saccharine voice, batting her eyes for effect. "Rose, could you take Sarahlynn and put her to bed?"

"Don't you dare start anything until I get back," Rose instructed, pointing firmly at Alice before lifting the baby carefully into her arms.

"All right, I shudder to think of what the three of you are up to now. Your child hasn't left my lap all night," I said, eyeing Alice in particular suspiciously.

"Oh, come on, it's nothing _bad_. Just something you'll need both hands for," Alice replied with a smile and knelt on the couch to reach behind it, pulling out a long, flat box once Rosalie returned and settled on the floor at my feet. "Just a little something that is for our eyes only. Well, and Edward's, eventually."

I nervously tugged at the red satin ribbon to loosen the bow and let it fall to the sides of the box, lifting the top to look inside. Neatly laid within was a tasteful and beautiful white bra and panties set, intricately decorated with lace and tiny pearls, and a matching garter with a blue ribbon running through it. "Oh my God, you guys. This is gorgeous."

"Really? You don't hate it?" Rosalie asked with an eyebrow raised in surprise.

I shook my head slowly and ran my fingers over the fabric. "Surprising, I know, since I usually hate this stuff and was _just_ bitching about it. But I love it. I hadn't even thought about a garter before this, either. How did I forget that?"

"Because we let you," Angela said with a shameless shrug and a smile. "We knew you'd most likely avoid any possibility of having to show anything beneath your skirt, so we used it to our advantage. Plus it's new _and_ blue."

"You're right, but thank you so much. And _now_, I can let the embarrassment set in because Edward _will_ see me in this," I replied, feeling my skin heat and pressing my palm to my forehead.

"Oh honey, he's seen you in worse, and a lot _less_," Rosalie said, chuckling and smirking at me.

"That makes me feel _so_ much better, Rose. Thanks," I retorted sarcastically, but even I couldn't help but laugh.

"Well, he's marrying you, so obviously, nothing he's seen has been _that_ bad," Alice teased, nudging my arm with her elbow. "At least you don't have to worry about getting married someday with rolls of baby fat still lingering around."

Rose, Angela and I looked over at her with matching glares, running our gazes over her in annoyance.

"Oh yes, you're a regular _whale_, Alice. I don't know how Jasper can bear the sight of you," Rose shot back sarcastically and rolled her eyes. "I'll be lucky if I'm not carrying around a miniature sumo wrestler when the time comes."

"Our kid will probably have no chance of _not_ being long and lanky when it's our turn," I added, shaking my head.

"I'm _never_ having kids," Angela said and our eyes all shifted over to her. "I love kids, don't get me wrong. But I'm more of the aunt type than a mother. Play with them, dote on and spoil them, and then send them home. Besides, I want to travel after graduation, so that really wouldn't be the right kind of situation to bring a child into anyway."

"Wow, you never cease to surprise me, Angela," I laughed, linking my arm with hers and leaning my head on her shoulder.

"Looks like bridezilla is finally losing steam. Maybe we should all call it a night and head to bed. Big day and early rising," Alice said, clapping her hands and rising off the couch excitedly.

"I can just sleep here," I mumbled tiredly, closing my eyes.

"Oh no, you don't. You will not have bags under your eyes on your wedding day, so you're sleeping in a big, comfortable bed. Lots of beauty rest," Rosalie countered, taking my hands and lifting me from the couch.

"That's what makeup is for," I said under my breath, but all three of them stood around me, guiding me toward the bedroom.

My last night going to bed alone.

**EPOV**

_I'm not nervous. Why aren't I nervous? Shouldn't I be? I'm getting _married_ today! _I kept asking myself all morning as I was getting ready.

My lack of nerves was actually more disconcerting to me than if I would have been vibrating with them. Had it just not sunken in yet? Had I simply not gotten that last minute "oh my God, I'm _actually_ getting married today" realization yet that had most grooms dodging friends and family to bolt for the door in sudden panic? I'd even slept through the night effortlessly, which again, I couldn't see as being normal. Or was that just the bride that didn't sleep the night before?

My bride. My Bella. I wanted so much to call her all night long the previous evening, but my "wonderful" brother and best friend had confiscated my phone the instant they arrived at the house that day, "to remove the temptation". Perhaps _that_ was why I wasn't feeling more anxiety over it all. In addition to being apart for so damn long, after a week of barely even seeing Bella in passing with the last minute wedding preparations, I really wanted her in front of me where I could hold her, touch her, and kiss her whenever I felt the inclination to do so.

I was actually counting down the minutes.

"Rosie just texted and said they were running a few minutes behind schedule, but should still be here in plenty of time," Emmett said, staring down at his phone and furiously punching his fingers over the screen as he stood with me at the altar.

"Will you put that thing away? I swear, the worst thing Rose ever got you was an iPhone. You're like a big kid," I muttered under my breath, grabbing the device and shoving it into his pocket. "I'm sure that's driving Bella crazy. She hates being late for _anything_. How is she doing? Did Rose say?"

"Well, if you weren't so busy being grumpy, I could have finished _asking_ her, but as it is …" he trailed off and shrugged, and from the look on his face, he knew he was getting under my skin.

"Fine. Just put it away right after. You're not going to be texting or playing games through the ceremony," I relented, tugging at the end of my uniform jacket to pointlessly straighten it.

"Yes, Dad," Emmett joked and retrieved it from his pocket again, finishing the text and waiting for the chime that signaled the response. "She said she's fine. No cold feet, and says she loves you. Aww, how sweet."

I clenched my fists to restrain from hitting him as he dabbed at an imaginary tear with his knuckle.

"Emmy, leave your brother alone. It's his wedding day," our grandmother cut in, taking my arm with her hand. "And my, don't you look so handsome. I can't believe I've lived long enough to see both my grandbabies get married. Grandpa Platt would have been so proud of you both."

"Thank you, Grandma," I said gently, leaning over to kiss her cheek and resting my hand over her cool, slender fingers. "I'm so glad you're here."

"Escort an old lady to her seat?" she asked and I nodded, walking her over to the front row of chairs. She turned to face me, running her hands along the arms of my uniform and brushing away some invisible specks that apparently only she could see. "I know you'll be a good husband, Edward. And she's a good girl. I'm so happy for you."

"Don't cry, Grandma," I whispered, bringing my hand to her cheek and she laughed, lightly swatting my stomach.

"Oh, stop. Everyone cries at weddings, and it's definitely a grandmother's right," she said stubbornly, causing me to chuckle and gently kiss her forehead. "Now, go. Marry that girl of yours."

"Yes, Ma'am," I replied with a smile, settling her into her seat and returning to the altar. I checked my watch to give my hands something to do besides run through my freshly trimmed hair.

"Relax, we still have twenty minutes. She'll be here soon," Jasper said from the other side of Emmett.

_Great, _now_ I'm nervous,_ I mused silently, though it was still not at all what I expected. Bella was going to appear at the end of that aisle in less than a half an hour on her father's arm and I knew, without a doubt, that she would be the most breathtaking bride ever. I was sure I would have to restrain myself with everything in me not to rush toward her and take her in my arms before we even had the chance to say "I do". Or to keep from whisking her away when we walked back down that aisle as husband and wife, foregoing the reception and having her all to myself at last.

I wanted the whole day to be perfect for her, the culmination of the months of meticulous planning and a memory she would cherish for the rest of our lives. _I will not mess this up_.

"Edward, you're sweating," Emmett mumbled from the side of his mouth.

"Really, Em? I hadn't noticed," I retorted sarcastically under my breath as I dabbed the heel of my palm across my forehead.

"I told ya you'd get nervous," he ribbed with a smirk. "Seriously, the ball and chain ain't that heavy."

One more look from our grandmother and Emmett was silenced, and I gave her a smile of gratitude just as the music suddenly shifted and the harp beside us began to play. _This is it_.

I straightened and linked my hands behind me, taking one last, long breath as first Angela, then Alice, and finally, Rosalie, began the procession in their long, red gowns, each of them meeting my eyes in turn with secretive smiles on their faces. Then, as fluidly as it began, the harp tapered off again and started up with a familiar tune.

It was _her_ song; the one I had written for her what seemed like an eternity before.

All thought in my mind was lost as everyone stood when Bella stepped out and stood at the end of the aisle. I watched her hand tighten on her father's arm as her eyes ran over me and her beautiful smile finally crept across her lips as they began making the slow steps toward me.

Breathtaking wasn't nearly the appropriate word to describe Bella in that moment, if there even was one. I felt like I was back to that September morning years before when I first laid eyes on her. So beautiful and innocent, rendering me speechless for the first time in my life, yet still, nothing compared to how I was feeling at that moment at the same time.

_The beautiful woman walking down this aisle loves me, and so help me, I'll never understand why, _I thought to myself. With all my flaws and her eccentricities that no one else could truly understand, we somehow complimented each other perfectly and I couldn't wait to spend the rest of my life with her.

Although she could have appeared in jeans and I wouldn't have cared, her dress was beyond words. Simple, yet elegant, with only the slightest of beading on the bodice and a long, flowing skirt that made her look as if she were floating, instead of walking, down the aisle. She held a vibrant red bouquet against her stomach and seemed to be struggling in order to _not_ bite her lip more with each step. As she and her father came to a stop in front of me, I also noticed what I recognized as my grandmother's pearl and diamond necklace gracing her slender neck.

She was a little bit traditional, a whole lot of beautiful, and in the matter of minutes, would also be all mine.

Charlie kissed her cheek and placed her hand in mine, and my heart went out to him as he was visibly fighting back tears. His little girl had grown up and was getting married, and he had to let her go. He gave me a meaningful nod, which was a very clear "you better take care of her" message, and I responded with a silent nod before he turned to take the seat beside Sue. She slid her arm tightly through his and gave it a gentle squeeze before bringing her attention back to the front.

"God, you look amazing," I whispered as I turned back to my beautiful bride, wanting so much to just lean over and kiss her.

"Ditto," she replied with a gentle squeeze of my hand, telling me without words that she was thinking exactly the same thing, before we faced the officiator to begin.

I listened to every word he spoke, but never took my eyes off Bella. How could I? She was captivating. One long, curled tendril of her hair fell over her shoulder and I fought the urge to brush it back with my hand. I was so glad she left most of it down, just as I liked it.

As I vowed to love, honor, cherish and comfort her for as long as I lived, her deep brown eyes held mine and then she repeated the same words back to me. My heart was racing with anticipation as first, I slid white gold band onto her finger and she placed a matching one on mine, just waiting for the moment I could finally kiss my wife for the first time.

The words finally came—we were husband and wife, and we murmured quiet "I love yous" before we met in the middle to seal our union with a soft, gentle, yet still passion-filled kiss. She tugged me closer by the lapel of my jacket and I hummed against her, our lips melting together more firmly.

I was hers and she was mine, and nothing would ever come between us again.


	15. I Loved Her First

**A/N: Don't let the title fool you, no more drama for these two on their wedding day. :) The title actually derives from a song by Heartland, and has always made me think of Charlie for this story. So I'm not pulling anything crazy in here, I promise. And the song Bella dances to with her father is also linked below, called "My Little Girl" by Tim Mcgraw. I cried a bit while writing this chapter, and I was called unspeakable names by ericastwilight for making her cry in the middle of Starbucks as well. So just in case any of you are softies like she and I are, you might need a tissue or two.**

**Heartland – I Loved Her First www . youtube watch?v=sH3rPYMUfEQ**

**Tim McGraw – My Little Girl www . youtube watch?v=HfC5cGPU5IE**

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**Don't Ever Forget 15 ~ I Loved Her First**

**BPOV**

When we started to run behind schedule that morning because my hair just wasn't curling right, according to Rose, was when the first sign of the real jitters began to claim me. I was going to me late to my own wedding, and if it wasn't for the fact that Alice, Rose, and Angela would have each taken turns smacking me senseless for smudging my makeup, I would have cried my eyes out.

My dad was no help when he met me at the car, extending his hand to help me out with misted eyes. I couldn't remember a time in my life that I'd ever seen him in a tuxedo, having worn a plain suit to Emmett and Rose's wedding the year before, and even his joke about looking like a penguin didn't relieve the choked up feeling in my throat.

"Don't you dare. If you start, then I'm going to start, and then there's _no_ chance of me getting you down that aisle. I'll take you home and lock you in your room until you're thirty," my dad teased, and I chuckled as he took my hand and linked it around his arm. "You look beautiful, Bells."

"Thank you, Dad. You look pretty handsome yourself," I replied, tightening my hold on him as we began to walk through the doors.

"I know. Can't help it," he said and we all shared a laugh. It had become my dad's habit to joke in times of heightened emotion, which was more often than not recently, even when the gravelly tone of his voice gave it away.

"If I can't start, neither can you," I whispered when we came to a stop just outside the hall, and I began taking slow, calculated breaths to calm myself.

_Just beyond those doors, Edward is waiting for me,_ I thought with my eyes closed, trying to keep myself in place to resist the urge to peek inside to see him. My heart was hammering almost painfully in anticipation and my breaths seemed harder to control.

However, all that disappeared the instant I met the eyes of the man I loved standing at the other end of the aisle. I felt the tingling sensations race through me and the fluttering of my stomach as my gaze ran over the entire length of his body. I had imagined him in that particular uniform a million times in my mind, even before he'd promised to wear it for our wedding, but at that moment, only two words came to mind.

God. Damn.

I could barely speak, even as he whispered how amazing I looked, but nervousness was the _last_ thing I was feeling. I was excited, anxious for the incredible man beside me to officially become my husband, and our life together to finally begin.

Once vows and rings were exchanged and I was declared his wife, I didn't hesitate for a second after whispering a returned "I love you" to him before I met my lips with his. I remained conscious enough of our surroundings that I didn't kiss him nearly as fiercely as I really wanted to—we had the rest of our lives for that without the watchful eyes of our family and friends—but it didn't stop me from trying to pull him closer and make the moment last as long as I possibly could.

Nothing and no one would ever take him away again. He was all mine and I belonged to him just as fully.

When we parted and were introduced as Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen, my smile stretched across my face and I felt a little silly at the girlish giggle that escaped me as his arm slid around me, pulling me gently to his side. Our eyes met once before we started back down the aisle and I looked around the standing and applauding crowd. My father visibly cleared his throat when our gazes met but his smile soon followed. Edward's grandmother dabbed her eyes with a lacy, old-fashioned handkerchief and I smiled in thanks as I touched the necklace she'd leant me that morning for the wedding. Carlisle and Esme appeared ecstatic with their arms wrapped around each other and he gently kissed her temple.

Having my father-in-law present at our wedding would have been joyous in any case, since not having any of them would leave the only small void in our otherwise perfect day—the absence of my mother. But with the scare of the past eight or nine months, it was nothing short of a relief, and I couldn't have been happier to see his face there.

Then my breath froze as my eyes landed on the last smiling face I'd expected to see that day, standing there in the back row of chairs—Jacob. My surprise must have been written clearly on my face since he chuckled and rolled his eyes.

As Edward and I stood outside the hall together while the chairs were being folded and preparations for the reception began to get underway, I hugged my arms around his waist and pressed my cheek to his chest. I couldn't imagine ever feeling happier or more complete than I felt at that moment, and I tilted my head up to look at him and found a just as exuberant smile on Edward's face.

"I'm sorry I've been so crazy lately. I don't know how you've put up with me and still met me at the altar," I said softly, running my hands along his back.

Edward's thumb lightly grazed my cheek and then he brushed a soft kiss on my lips. "I knew it was temporary. You only get one shot at a perfect wedding, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate everything you've done for this. Besides, I'd still love you even if you _stayed_ crazy. You've got me hooked, Mrs. Cullen."

I released a heavy sigh and my smile grew with his words. Mrs. Cullen—God, how I loved the sound of that, and not aimed at Esme or Rosalie…but me. I gripped the back of his jacket in my hands and kissed him again, pressing my body more firmly against him. "I love you so much. I promise, the crazy is over. And tonight, I'm all yours."

"And for every moment of the next seven days," Edward murmured, ghosting his lips back and forth over mine.

"Are you sure you don't want to know where we're going?" I asked, gazing up at him somewhat nervously.

"You're going to be there, right?" he responded with a smirk and I gazed at him sarcastically. "Then that's all I care about. Me and my wife, completely alone for a whole week. 'Where' doesn't matter."

The door to the hall opened, abruptly ending our moment as Esme peeked out. "We're all ready for you two."

"Are you ready, my wife?" Edward asked as our arms fell from around one another and he held his hand out for mine.

I smiled and took it, feeling the still cool metal of his wedding ring against my skin, and another shiver ran through me. "I am definitely ready, my husband."

**x-x-x**

I swore an hour into the reception, I was bound to go blind from the hundreds of flashes from what seemed like just as many cameras, or deaf from the clinking of champagne flutes and water glasses, prompting Edward and I to kiss. Not that I minded it so much—any excuse to touch my lips to his was fine with me.

The time came for us to cut the cake and yet more flashes erupted as our joined hands sliced the knife through. I smirked at him when we each held our plates and his eyes crinkled at the corners with his own grin.

"Just remember, I go next," I challenged him as he began to take the piece of cake with his fingers. "And I'd hate to mess up that uniform by getting frosting all over it."

Edward laughed and broke a small portion off the end, delicately placing it between my parted lips and following it with a chaste kiss.

I blushed at the soft contented sighs of the women around me and took a deep breath as he pulled away, looking down to pick at the slice on the plate I held. "I guess since you were a gentleman, I should be a lady, huh?"

Edward nodded with a smile and waited as I also pulled off a smaller piece, raising it up and placing it in his mouth. My thumb lingered there, trying to remove the frosting that still remained, and he closed his lips around the tip and ran his tongue along the pad with a glint in his eyes. "You didn't expect me to be a _complete_ gentleman, did you?"

I narrowed my eyes at him playfully, but my smile wouldn't fade. I wanted nothing more than to have some time alone with him, even if for that moment, it consisted of mere seconds that we could just stare into each other's eyes. So, for once, I was grateful when the time arrived for our first dance. I'd wanted it to come after the other events of the reception, so we could just relax and enjoy it without any more "what's next?" thoughts on our mind. To hold him in my arms and feel that closeness with him again.

I could have stayed on that floor forever with him, but we were soon parted by the announcement that it was time for the father of the bride dance. As I turned to look for my dad, I felt my throat tighten as I caught sight of him walking toward me. In a gesture that touched my heart, Edward took my hand and placed it back into my father's as he'd done at the altar. The man in front of me had been my entire world for much of my life. We had our difficulties and differences, but I was still his daughter and he was still my dad. I loved him more than I could ever express in words and I knew I'd always mean the world to him, and very soon, we'd be saying goodbye—even if only for a little while.

"Come here," my dad said softly as the music began to play and my lips trembled with my welling tears. He tugged me gently to pull me closer and slid his arm around my waist, keeping my right hand in his left. We swayed slowly back and forth together, neither of us being very good dancers, but it didn't matter. It was _our_ moment. "Well, kid. This is it. You're a married woman now."

I gripped his shoulder with my hand and leaned my temple onto it, feeling his cheek settle against the top of my head. "But I'm always gonna be your little girl."

"Forever, Bella. That's never going to change," my dad whispered and I lifted my head to look at him again. "I've loved you every minute from the moment you were born. And I really did know that he'd be the one, the very first time I saw you together. He looked at you in that way that scares every father to the bone, because that's the second I had to start letting you go. I'm not even ready for that now."

Fresh tears streamed down my face as I hugged my arm around his shoulder and squeezed his hand with mine, which he brought to rest on his chest. I pressed my cheek to his and kissed it gently as I trembled in his hold. "I love you, Daddy."

"I love you, too, baby. Always have, always will," he replied tightly and began clearing his throat. "Just remember, I always know where my shotgun is if that boy puts a toe outta line."

I laughed through my tears and pulled back to look at him, stopping abruptly when I saw a singular wet trail running down his cheek. I brushed it away with the backs of my fingers, trying to smile for him as I watched his heart breaking in his eyes. "I'll remember."

We held each other and swayed silently for the remainder of the song, and gave myself that last moment of being completely encased in my father's love for me. He kissed my cheek one more time when the music ended and kept hold of my hand, walking me back to my husband. My dad exchanged a glance with him as I melted into Edward's side. "Take good care of my baby now, son."

Edward's arm came around my shoulders and squeezed me gently, nodding to my father. "I will, Charlie. I promise."

Grandma Platt came to the other side of my dad, handing me a folded handkerchief from inside her clutch purse and then asking my father for a dance. I chucked as Dad blushed when she took his arm with a grin and said, "This young lady can't keep _all_ the good looking men here tonight to herself, after all."

"Does she have time to share a dance with the best one in the room, though?" I heard the familiar voice approach me from behind and I turned to find the teasing smile of Jacob directed at me.

"Jake," I sighed and stepped away from Edward for a moment to throw my arms around Jacob's neck. He hugged me tightly in return and lifted my feet from the ground, causing me to laugh. "I didn't think you'd come."

Jacob set me back down as I mumbled into his neck, but never released me as I rested my head on his shoulder. "I know I haven't been around much lately, but did you really think that I would miss your wedding, Bella?"

I pulled back enough to look up at him, my vision blurred again with tears. "But you didn't RSVP to the invitation."

Jake's gaze rose to Edward and nodded toward him. "Ask him about that."

I finally turned my head to glance at Edward, expecting to find the same hesitant gaze lingering there as it had in every other instance I'd witnessed of interactions between them. Yet, he was calm and even smiling as his eyes returned to me. "What did you do?"

Edward laughed at the suspicious tone of my voice and lifted his hand to brush back the stubborn curl that had not remained behind my shoulder all day. "What, you think you're the only one who can have secrets and surprises? I wanted to do something for you, too. So right after you sent the invitations out, I got a hold of him and arranged for him to RSVP to my mother instead."

Stunned would not be a strong enough word to describe the way I felt at that moment as I watched the scene unfolding before me that was a long time in the coming. Anger and misunderstandings from their past had clouded them for so long, but even with Jake's arm still around me, there was none of that tension between the two of them. And I didn't know quite what to make of that.

Then, Jake held out his hand to Edward, which he promptly shook. "Congratulations, Edward."

"Thank you, Jacob," Edward replied and they held each other's gazes for a moment, nodding in what seemed like a silent understanding.

I never thought I would see the day that they not only called each other something other than "Cullen" and "Black", but they'd also put the past behind them. I felt sure that I was dreaming—_life is never _that_ easy or perfect_.

"So, you mind if I borrow your wife for a dance?" Jacob asked and I looked back to Edward.

His smile hadn't dimmed and his gaze was still gentle and soft as he leaned over to kiss my cheek. "Just bring her back in one piece."

I chuckled and our eyes met again as Jacob took my hand, and I mouthed a "thank you" to my husband before being led onto the dance floor. I hugged myself to Jake once we reached the middle and gripped him tightly, hiding my face in his shoulder. "I'm so glad you two were sneaky. I didn't think it was possible for this day to get any better, but you guys managed to pull it off. I thought I was imagining things when I saw you standing in the back today."

"Don't cry anymore, Bella. People will start thinking you're miserable or something," Jacob said as I sniffled against him as he spoke and I lifted my head to look at him. He was still grinning at me, and just like old times, it made me feel completely at ease.

"It's my party—"

"Uh-uh, don't go there with the 'and I'll cry if I want to' crap," Jake cut me off, shaking his head with a laugh and then pulled me closer, resting his cheek on my hair. "I'm really happy for you, Bella. And you looked really beautiful today. He really is a lucky guy."

"Thank you, Jake," I replied and then creased my brow, pulling back to look at him teasingly. "Wait, _looked_?"

"Well, you know, now you just look like a complete mess," Jake chided as only he could and still manage to get away with it, with the exception of one other person—and that was the amazing man across the room, gazing at me adoringly while he danced with his tearful mother.

My Edward. My husband. My world.

"Yeah, well, you need a shave. What's _your_ excuse?" I joked back and he merely laughed, swaying me back and forth to continue our dance.

My day just couldn't possibly get any better … well, at least until that night.

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**I had hoped to get to the honeymoon in this chapter, but it didn't seem to do the honeymoon or the dance with Charlie justice their own time. The next update will probably be a bit of a longer one, since as we speak, it is already over 2k words long and they are just taking off for their honeymoon. But I swear, it will be coming next :) Til next time. thank you so much for reading!**


	16. Let's Make Love

**A/N: This chapter was also inspired by yet another country song, and every time I heard it, I could only think of Edward and Bella. "Let's Make Love" by Faith Hill and Tim Mcgraw (yeah, there's a pattern here, I adore that man lol) **

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**Don't Ever Forget 16 ~ Let's Make Love**

Once Bella had been dragged away by the girls to touch up her makeup after her dance with her father and Jacob, I sat down at the main table to wait for her and watched the mood of the reception shift again. Everyone was beginning to talk and have fun again after it had been eerily quiet aside from the music playing while she swayed tearfully in her father's arms. My grandmother was still dancing with him, appearing as if she was having more fun than she'd had in years, and even Charlie couldn't keep the smile from his face for long. Jasper and Alice were swaying slowly with Sarahlynn between them, their gazes both on their beautiful daughter, nearly asleep on her father's chest—they were the image of a perfect little family.

Then, there were my parents. My father spun my mother around the floor like a man half his age and their eyes held the other's with as much love and contentment as I'd ever seen. It almost seemed as if everything they'd been through together in that year had brought them closer, and made them appreciate one another all the more. It was an amazing thing to witness, and I couldn't have been happier for him.

And of course, there was the man who'd held my wife just a little while before, on the floor with Angela while Ben looked on.

Years before, I might have been a little jealous, even on my wedding day, watching Jacob Black's arms around the girl I loved and making her smile. I had changed, maybe grown up a little, and could see in every one of Bella's glances in my direction that she loved me just as much as I did her. She would be leaving that night, and every one for the rest of our lives, with me. The smile she gave him may not have been any less luminous and his presence made her happy, but it wasn't _my_ smile. The one that lit her face when she returned to me and settled onto my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing me.

"Thank you, Edward. You have no idea how much that meant to me," Bella said softly, tracing her fingertips along my jaw. "I thought you two would never really bury the hatchet anywhere but in each other's backs."

I laughed and brushed my lips against hers. "Well, the way I see it, I have a lot to thank him for, actually. Who knows, I might not have been available when a certain beautiful brunette came into my life and made me fall hopelessly in love with her. And even though it took a long time for me to stop being a complete idiot, I somehow got lucky enough to end up right here with her today."

Bella blushed as I tightened my arms around her waist, resting her forehead against mine. "You're so cheesy. But you're about to get a whole lot luckier tonight."

I groaned subtly at her suggestive tone, my hand gripping her leg through her skirt to hold her in place. "Don't move for a while, or I'll be forced to drag you out of here like a caveman. I doubt your father would be terribly impressed with that."

Bella giggled and hugged her arms around my shoulders again, but pressed her hip against my wakening erection. "I'm fine right where I am. Don't want everyone here to see what I have in store for me later, either. That's for my eyes only. Forever."

Our lips met again in a firm kiss and I drew in a slow breath through my nose, gripping her waist with my fingers. "You're definitely not deterring me, Bella. So, is that why we're not doing the garter/bouquet thing? _This_ is for _my_ eyes only?"

Bella smirked as I ran my other hand along her thigh, raising an eyebrow. "Partially. You'll see."

"You're minx. A real minx," I replied, burying my face in her neck.

"Come on, save it for the honeymoon. You don't have much time left," my brother interrupted, sitting down in the chair beside us with a wide grin on his face. "Though, it might go along faster if you let me do my best man speech. It's tradition!"

"It's also 'tradition' for you to come out with something completely embarrassing and you're not going to do that in front of our family, and more importantly, Bella's father. He wouldn't shoot _you_," I retorted, rolling his eyes. "I'd personally like to _get_ to my honeymoon sometime tonight, and besides, since when have we ever been traditional?"

"It still would have been fun," Emmett mumbled, folding his arms over his chest and looking back out to the dance floor. "At least everyone else is having a good time."

"Not going to work, Em," I replied with my eyes returning to my bride.

"You better not be bugging them about that stupid speech again, Emmett," Rosalie's voice came from behind us and she rested her hands on his shoulders. "We already had to fix her makeup once tonight. Crying tears of humiliation would not help matters."

"No, I wasn't. Well, maybe a little. He got to do one at _ours_," Emmett grumbled a little more.

"That's because Edward has tact, baby," Rosalie replied with a grin, leaning over to kiss his cheek when he glared at her while Bella and I laughed. "And while I may _love_ your lack of it at times, this is _their _wedding, and a certain level of decorum is expected. Police, Army."

Emmett sighed as she first pointed at Charlie and then to the shoulder of my uniform. "Fine, I'll behave. He knows exactly what I'd say anyway."

"I sure do, dear brother," I replied and we clinked our glasses together in silent understanding.

"Sucks when you can't drink at your own wedding, doesn't it?" Emmett said, grinning over his champagne.

I smiled up at Bella and shook my head as I gently kissed her neck. "Not really. I'd like to have all my senses in good working order for my wedding night, actually."

"Oh, you're killing me, Edward. Killing me!" Emmett grunted as he stood when Bella giggled, and Rosalie followed him, chuckling as my brother exclaimed another "killing me!" from a few feet away.

"Speaking of wedding night," Bella whispered in my ear and turned my chin with her fingers, pressing her lips softly to mine.

"In a hurry, baby?" I murmured against her and she pulled back enough to raise her eyebrow and gave me the "you're kidding me, right?" look. I chuckled and kissed her again with more fervor, hugging my arms around her when her hip brushed me again.

We'd been waiting for that moment for months, and it had been made all the more difficult to bear when we'd been so close at times over the past week, but never enough. Inevitably, the phone would ring, there would be a knock on the door, or we were just simply too tired and had to say goodnight.

However, the moment we walked out the door of the hall that night, nothing else would exist but her and I. We would make up for all the time we'd missed and I would finally get to wake up with her in my arms again and be able to spend the whole day with her in that bed, if we so chose.

_And yes, I'm twenty and a guy. I haven't had sex with my girlfriend … my wife in fourteen very _long_ weeks, so that was pretty high up there on the list._

"Then, are we going to be ready to leave soon?" I asked, my smile growing as I tugged at her waist.

"Soon, I need to change first," Bella answered and I sighed—I wasn't looking forward to the loss of the dress when it wouldn't be my hands doing the deed. She looked absolutely amazing, so damn beautiful, and I wanted to watch that dress uncover every inch of her pale skin. She traced her fingers along my neck and kissed me gently, bringing my eyes back to hers. "There's no way I'm driving in this. Are you _still_ sure you don't want to know where we're going? Last chance."

"You drive a hard bargain, Mrs. Cullen. And as tempting as it is, I still would like to be surprised, thank you," I replied and laughed softly as I kissed her pouty lower lip.

"Okay, then I'll be back. It could take a while," Bella said, her arms hesitant to release me.

"And I'll be right here waiting for you, making the rounds to say goodnight," I replied, lifting my hand to brush my thumb against her cheek. She kissed me once more before rising from my lap and rushing off to grab Alice, Rose, and Angela. "Women, they always travel in packs."

The instant she was out of my sight again, I began feeling that tug inside my chest that ached to have her back in my arms. I knew I just needed to be patient and my desire would be granted, but it was difficult. Making my way around the room and thanking everyone for coming—and trying not to choke every time I met Charlie's eyes across the room, well aware that he knew exactly what I was about to do to his little girl—seemed never-ending. I kept looking over my shoulder to the door she'd left through, not wanting to be rude, but damn, I missed her.

When at last I turned to find her standing there, I was literally struck speechless in mid-sentence as I spoke to Emmett. She wore a very simple, white dress, knee-length and form fitting around her waist, hips and thighs. Her hair was completely taken down and the long ringlets were brushed out into soft waves, and she looked like an absolute angel. Then she gave me a smile before moving over to my mother, knowing she was giving me a perfect view of her ass and calves, her hips swaying a little more with the heels she wore.

_Please, don't let wherever we'd going be too far away_, I thought to myself, shifting my hips subtly and attempting not to groan.

A clearing throat caught my attention and I turned to find my bride's father standing there with folded arms and a raised eyebrow. It never failed to amaze me that even though I had at least a couple inches on him and I was nearly half his age, and in the military, at that—he could still scare the living crap out of me.

"She may be your wife, but she's still my daughter, son," he said almost severely, but his eyes told an entirely different story. Watching Bella walk into the room in her "honeymoon dress" halted the relaxed demeanor he'd shown before she left, and he looked heartbroken all over again. "You two are still planning on being careful for a while, right? She _is _still very young. You both are."

My response was caught in my throat and I ran my fingertips over my lips nervously, until I felt a small hand slip inside the crook of my elbow and squeeze gently. "Dad, _please_, don't be giving my husband 'the talk'. Everything is under control and no grandbabies for a while still, I promise."

Her hand slid down my arm until it linked with mine as Charlie's face visibly relaxed. "Okay. Just … enjoy this time together. There's no getting it back once it's gone."

I looked between Bella and Charlie as their gazes locked, tears glistening in both their eyes until she released my hand and stepped toward her father. He took her into his arms for one last hug and they murmured something that was obviously meant to stay between them.

Sue came up beside him, smiling at me and stepping forward to kiss my cheek. "Congratulations, Edward. Have a good time this week."

I couldn't help but see the slightly sad look in her eyes as she gazed at me. I'd noticed that aside from the ceremony and dinner, Charlie and Sue had hardly occupied the same space for any period of time, yet even in that moment, she was still keeping her brave face on.

"Everything okay?" I whispered quietly as she pulled me in for a hug.

"Yeah, we'll be fine. Rough day," she replied softly with a nod, keeping our own conversation between us as well. We both looked over to the two embracing again, and each of them seemed to have similar saddened expressions. "He still misses her."

I wrapped my arm around Sue's shoulders and gave her a gentle squeeze. I didn't know her _well_ yet, but I couldn't stand to see any woman in pain, no matter the cause. From what Bella had told me and I'd seen myself in the brief interactions with them, Charlie had been a completely different man since Sue had come into his life. Happy, smiling even—hopeful. Occasionally, though—as in that moment—we could all see the ghost of Renee return to his eyes, and it was to be expected as he watched their daughter become her own woman and someone's wife, right before him. He was saying goodbye to a part of his past, that his wife was still very much alive in.

"It's okay, Edward. I knew it would happen today," Sue said with a calmed look on her face as she gently hugged around my waist. "You shouldn't be worrying about anything but starting your life with your new bride."

I gave her a small smile and watched as Bella pulled back from her father, wiping tears from her eyes with her thumbs and turned to step closer to Sue. She wrapped her arms around the woman beside me and I heard her whisper in Sue's ear, "He _does_ love you."

Sue nodded against Bella's shoulder as she hugged her back. "Everything will be fine, Bella. Just go enjoy your honeymoon, you both deserve it."

Bella pulled away and looked over to me, her smile returning as she moved to my side. "Yeah, we better go. We have a little bit of a drive ahead of us."

Charlie shot me one more "take care of my little girl, or I'll hunt you down" look and Sue wrapped her arm through his. When his elbow straightened, she loosened her hold, but he took her hand in his and squeezed it gently.

I felt Bella relax beside me as she slid her arm around my waist, obviously relieved by the sight as well. "Okay. We'll see you in a week."

"Goodnight," I added and we began making our way to the door where everyone else had gathered to wait.

Birdseed began flying through the air in place of rice—compliments of Rose—as we walked past them toward the car arm in arm, raining down upon us until we were safely inside.

Bella was still laughing as she settled into the driver's seat and closed the door, slipping off her heels and setting them in my lap. "There's no way I'm driving in these things, don't tell my father. And I swear, I'm going to be picking that crap out of my hair for weeks with all this hairspray holding it in."

I smiled and reached over to remove a small pellet from her hair, amazed at how soft the strands actually were. "It'll be fine. You have me to help."

Her smile grew as she leaned her cheek into my touch, brushing her lips against my wedding ring. "Yes, I do. Finally."

I stretched over to her, kissing her gently and cupping her face with my hand. "I love you."

"I love you, too. Now let's get out of here before your brother starts pushing the car to get us to leave," she giggled and I sat back in my seat as the engine roared to life.

I closed my eyes and kept hold of her hand, running my thumb gently along hers. I hadn't been happier in my life as I was in that moment since the day she first told me she loved me, or the night she agreed to be my wife. Wherever she was taking us for the week really didn't matter—I'd be there with _her_, and that's all I cared about.

"Don't you dare fall asleep, soldier. I've got plans for you," Bella said, tapping her thumb against my hand.

I smiled and shook my head, never opening my eyes, though. "Oh, trust me, sleep is the _last _thing on my mind, baby. Just waiting to be surprised."

"That _better_ be all you're doing," she replied, but there was still a lightness to her tone, so I knew she was still only teasing.

"Maybe I'm just resting up for you, my love," I said with a grin.

"I know for a _fact_ you have more stamina than that, Edward. Besides, you don't have much longer to wait."

I felt my brow crease at her statement. "I thought you said we had a little bit of a drive ahead of us."

"You really need to look up the definition of 'a little bit', honey," she replied and I could hear the smirk in her voice as the car began to jostle slightly over the rough road beneath.

I fought to keep my eyes closed with the curiosity piquing within me until I felt us come to a stop and she leaned over to kiss my cheek.

"You can open your eyes now, baby," Bella whispered against my skin, her left hand running along my thigh.

I slowly complied with her request and gazed out the windshield, and I could barely believe what I saw. It was the Whitlock's cabin, where I'd brought her over a year and a half before and spent the whole night making love to her. Where we'd talked many times about returning to someday, but never got the chance.

"Is it stupid? Do you hate it?" Bella asked nervously after a few moments of my silence, and I looked over to her to find her eyes flickering between mine.

I hooked my finger under her chin and pulled her to me, kissing her tenderly and I felt her relax again. "I couldn't hate it _less_, Bella. This is absolutely perfect."

And it was. I couldn't think of anything that could have been better. It would be just me and her, doing nothing more than living together as husband and wife and enjoying every moment of it, without any pressures of sight-seeing, or anything that really didn't matter to either one of us. She could cook dinner for me, and I could make breakfast in bed for her. We could lounge around on the couch all day or never leave the confines of our room. It would be us just being … us. Our life together began right at that moment.

"Our bags are already inside," Bella said with a relieved smile and stepped out of the car.

I got out quickly as well with her shoes in hand, catching up to her as she reached the dimly lit porch and swept her into my arms. "Where do you think you're getting away to so fast?"

Bella was laughing as she reached for the knob of the front door and pushed it open for me to carry her through. "This is a really ridiculous tradition, you know."

"But a tradition, nonetheless," I said as I kicked the door closed behind us. "So is this where Jasper disappeared to last night for a while?"

Bella nodded and rested her head on my shoulder. "He was supposed to do it yesterday morning so you wouldn't notice, but the girls insisted on lunch, so he had the baby."

"I really do love it, baby," I whispered, setting her feet down on the ground but kept hold around her waist before she could move too far. "Finally, I have you all to myself."

Bella's arms wrapped around my neck and pressed her body firmly against mine as she kissed me. "I second that. All mine for a whole week. Think you'll get sick of me?"

"Not a damn chance," I murmured against her lips and held her tight, deepening our kiss and we released simultaneous moans.

"Would you think less of me if I just wanted to head straight to the bedroom?" Bella asked, kissing the corner of my mouth. "I've been without you for way too long."

"You won't hear any arguments from me, baby," I replied and her hands slid down my arms to take my hands, leading me down the hall toward the master bedroom.

We stepped into the bedroom and she took hold of my face, kissing me with a gentle passion before pulling away with a smile. "Time for you to get out of that insanely hot uniform that I _definitely_ want to see you in again very soon."

"Yes, ma'am," I replied with a grin, pecking her lips softly before stepping over to the mirror at the vanity to finally remove my tie.

My eyes never left her in the reflection as she began to remove her earrings and my grandmother's necklace, setting them on the bedside table. I shrugged out of my jacket and was just beginning to unbutton my shirt when she returned to my side, sweeping her hair over her shoulder and turning her back to me.

"Can you unzip me?" Bella asked in a deceivingly innocent voice, contradicted by the grin on her lips.

I turned toward her and lightly kissed her neck as my fingers rose to her zipper. "With pleasure, beautiful."

Bella's hand reached behind her to run along the back of my neck as I continued to brush my lips along her collarbone. I slid the fabric from her shoulders and my eyes met the lace of her bra strap, and I stopped breathing. She turned in my arms again as her dress pooled on the floor, and stepped back to give me a better view.

"Holy shit," was all I could manage to say as my eyes drank her in. If it were anything other than our wedding night, I would have grabbed her, tossed her on the bed, and ravaged her with everything in me. She looked absolutely exquisite in the beautiful, white lace bra and panties set she wore, right down to the garter encircling her thigh.

"I'll take that as a _good_ 'holy shit'?" she asked and I nodded mutely, bringing the smile back to her face. Then she lifted her foot to rest on the arm of the chair next to me and took my hand, placing it on her leg over the lacy garter. "Care to do the honors?"

I gently kissed her lips, down her neck, and every inch of her body along the way until I knelt in front of her, trailing mine along her inner thigh as my fingers lowered the garter down her leg. Once I slid it free of her foot, my head rose to press my lips to her abdomen and I felt her hand running over my hair. "God, I love you so much."

"I love you, too," she whispered, taking my hand on her hip and tugging gently for me to stand with her again. The moment I did, her fingers worked the rest of my buttons free and pushed my shirt off my shoulders. "Now, make me your wife in every way."

I slid my shoes off and lifted her into my arms, her legs wrapping securely around my waist and sealing her lips over mine as I carried her over to the bed. I settled her body down onto the soft mattress and then stood to remove the remainder of my clothing before lying down beside her. As much as I wanted her, I also felt the need to touch her as I hadn't been able to in months, and she sighed contentedly at the light brushes of my fingers over the skin of her neck, chest and abdomen. She needed it, too. She wiggled impatiently as I traced along the rim of her panties and slid her arm around me, pulling me closer to her until our lips were a breath apart.

"I need you, Edward," she whispered and kissed me as I began sliding the garment down with my hand and she bent her legs to remove it, never parting our lips.

I pulled away, gently kissing the tip of her nose and then her eyebrow, and sat up to kneel between her legs. I watched her back arch as she reached beneath her to unclasp her bra and helped her remove it, tossing it to the side and lowering my body on top of her, covering us over with the blanket.

Bella gazed up at me with so much love in her eyes, it took my breath away. There really was so much more to that moment that just losing ourselves in our desire for each other; we were solidifying our bond as husband and wife. Her fingers traced along the back of my neck as our lips met and I joined my body with hers with a slow movement of my hips, soft moans escaping both of us.

I felt her leg rise up along my side and her foot gliding over the back of my thigh, but our kiss remained gentle and our touches tender. Even when my hips began to move against her and our lips parted, nothing was rushed, and it was the most amazing feeling in the world. I rose up on my hands, pressing myself deeper inside her with each thrust and was completely captivated by the sight of sheer pleasure on her face. "I love you, Isabella Cullen."

Bella opened her eyes to look up at me, her hands sliding up my back and around my shoulders, giving me a soft, beautiful smile. "And I love you."

I lowered myself on top of her again, needing to feel her body against mine, and hitched her leg higher on my hip. I could make love to her and still satisfy her, and I had every intention of doing so. Her moans deepened and grew longer with each of my movements, her hips rocking in rhythm with mine. "Feel good, baby?"

"Mmm," she hummed in response and her fingertips pressed into my shoulders as she raised her lips to mine.

I knew every inch of her body, and just what to do and where to touch to make her tremble against me. So when her breath hitched, my thrusts grew shallow deep inside her until I heard the distinct groan of pleasure escape her when she finally released it, falling over the edge with her climax. I wanted to stay in that moment with her and hold onto it, but I felt my own quickly approaching as well after so long without her. I broke from her lips and kissed her chin, her cheek, and finally, her brow as I released inside her with a moan of my own.

My forehead rested on her shoulder as I struggled to regain my breath, feeling her gentle touch running along my skin and her lips brush my temple. When I finally made to move off her to lie by her side, her hold tightened around me and I lifted my head to look at her again. There were tears pooled in the corners of her eyes but she was smiling more brightly than I'd ever seen. I traced the backs of my fingers over her cheek and she turned her head to kiss them, opening her beautiful eyes. "Bella?"

"We don't have to move, so I don't want to. Not yet," she whispered, pressing her cheek to my hand. "We're actually married."

The trace of surprise in her tone confused me, and even more so when she giggled softly. "That's funny?"

Bella shook her head and gazed up at me, the tears falling from her eyes as she cupped my face with her hand. "No. I knew I'd be happy today, to finally be completely yours. But I seriously underestimated just _how_ happy. We're always going to be like this, right? This happy?"

"Bella, your happiness goes hand in hand with my own. And I will do everything in my power to do so," I promised her softly and brushed her lips with mine.

"Just never stop loving me," she whispered, encircling her arms around my shoulders. "That's all I need."

"Never," I replied, nuzzling her nose with mine. "Never, ever. That's impossible."

"Then we'll be as close to perfect as we can get," Bella said with a smile and kissed me firmly. "Make love to me again. Please."

Her soft request had me hardening again inside her and I grinned. "With pleasure, my beautiful wife."


	17. Breathe

**A/N: The song "Breathe" by Faith Hill has been inspiring my ideas for this chapter for months now, and it felt good to finally get it out...while still listening to the song of course ;) Hope you all enjoy.**

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**Don't Ever Forget 17 ~ Breathe**

I woke the next morning with a pleasurable weight on my chest, and before I even opened my eyes, I felt a smile stretch across my lips. Edward's hair tickled my chin as I tilted my head to place a kiss upon it while he continued to sleep with his face resting over my heart.

I still could hardly believe it; I was married. I was waking up to the feel of my husband in my arms, his body pressed to my side. My body ached deliciously from the three times we made love the night before. His slow, steady breaths were dancing over my skin and I looked down to watch the sunlight from the window illuminate his face.

My first full day as Edward's wife and the sun was actually out. I didn't have to move from that spot with him if I didn't want to. At that moment, there was no Army, nowhere to be or anything to do—nothing but me and my husband sharing our first days of married life together.

"Did I drool on you or something?" Edward's soft, mumbled voice sounded and a smile touched his lips before he finally opened his eyes to look at me.

"That's romantic, honey," I replied sarcastically, yet couldn't help but laugh when he kissed me.

"What are you staring at then?" he asked, resting his face back on my chest, gazing up at me.

"Just the gorgeous face of my husband," I said, returning his smile and running my fingers along his jaw. "I've missed this face."

Edward chuckled, lifting his head again and hovering above me. "You looked at it all day yesterday, Bella."

"Not _all_ day. And I miss it every moment I can't see it, even if just to sleep," I replied with a sigh as he rolled his eyes, and I hummed against his lips when they lowered to mine. "Is it a crime to enjoy looking at the face of my _husband_ in the morning?"

"You really like that word a lot, don't you? At least it's not groaned out in annoyance, yet," he whispered, ghosting his mouth over mine as he spoke.

"Yeah, give me at least a week after the honeymoon for that," I teased, shrieking as his fingers came to my side and began tickling me mercilessly. "Stop, I can't breathe. Edward!"

He did so abruptly, sealing my lips with his and sliding his hand beneath my hip. I sighed with contentment as his body came to settle over mine again and pulled him down to me. "Husband. That ranks right up there with 'wife'."

"I agree," I murmured softly, holding his face between my hands, with my lips a breath away from his. "I could definitely get used to waking up like this every morning."

"Oh really?" Edward asked with a wicked smirk and then slowly slid inside me. "It's not our wedding night anymore, either."

I groaned and lowered my hands to his shoulders, pressing my fingertips firmly against his skin, a shiver running through me at this implication of his words. The night before—while inarguably pleasurable—had not been about the sex. It was coming together as husband and wife…over and over. It had been everything he'd promised; slow, passionate, and all that a wedding night _should_ have been. I definitely was not complaining about anything concerning the night before, yet I couldn't deny that I was really looking forward to having my body ravaged by the man I loved.

We were finally alone without restriction, and every thought of my aching body from earlier completely disappeared. My fingers drove into his hair as his arm hooked under my knee and lifted it beside him, and then thrust deep inside me. "Oh, God."

Edward brushed his lips against my throat as my head pressed back into the pillow in ecstasy. "And that is just another sight that _I_ could definitely get used to. My beautiful wife beneath me at the height of pleasure first thing in the morning."

I couldn't reply, my breath caught in my chest as he began his movements against me, the muscles in his back and shoulders flexing and releasing with each one. I lowered my hands to them to feel them move and I groaned softly. The night before had been incredible, as I said, but what I saw in his eyes and felt beneath my palms at that moment was so different. Love blended with pure lust and desire, as if he could devour me whole. I linked my free leg around his and lifted my hips against him with that same need burning inside me as well. "More. I want more."

Edward's hand gripped my hip and his thrusts grew more insistent, kissing me deeply and his tongue gliding along mine with his heaving breaths. I began building more quickly than I had the previous night with each rapid strike against that spot deep inside me and every one of our echoed moans, muted only slightly as our lips never parted from each other. My hold on him tightened with both my leg and my arms as my body trembled under his ministrations, and my nails dug into his shoulders as I shattered beneath him.

"Fuck!" I exclaimed when his lips broke from mine and he released my leg, rising up on his arms above me.

"God, Bella," Edward grunted as his muscles began to tense with his movements and his eyes pinched closed, creasing his forehead with his release.

When he collapsed on top of me, I pressed a kiss to his damp temple and traced my fingers over his hair. I loved the feel of his body against mine that way and I smiled, wrapping my arms around him. "Good morning."

Edward's body shook with a laugh and he finally lifted up again to gaze down at me, brushing my cheek lightly with his fingertips before kissing me. "Definitely a _very_ good morning."

**x-x-x**

Edward and I definitely made up for lost time, both in and out of the bedroom. Cooking for him quickly became one of my favorite things to do. It made me feel like a real wife, taking care of my husband, and it was one of the most amazing feelings I'd ever had.

I also found that I was constantly reminding myself that it wasn't temporary that time around. It wasn't just one of his leaves that would end in a tearful goodbye at an airport or bus terminal. Wherever he went, I would be going with him. The full realization of that hit me four days into our honeymoon as I lay on my side with Edward fast asleep behind me. I couldn't figure out why, but tears were streaming onto the pillow beneath my head and I was trying to keep as quiet as I could manage so that I didn't wake my husband. I knew my efforts had been in vain when I felt him roll toward me and his arm slide around my waist.

"Baby? What's the matter?" Edward asked, shifting closer and brushing his lips on my shoulder.

"Nothing," I whispered, weaving my fingers between his at my abdomen and pulling his arm more securely around me.

"You don't cry for 'nothing', Bella," Edward replied seriously. "Especially on your honeymoon, unless I am an utter failure as a husband already."

I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and rolled onto my back, gazing up into his worried green eyes. I pressed my lips gently to his and held his face between my hands. "You're not, I promise. Will you just hold me for a little while?"

Edward wrapped his arms around me, hugging me against his chest and pressing his lips to my hair. "Baby, you're scaring me. Are you having regrets?"

I shook my head quickly and tightened my arms around him. "No, not at all. I'm so happy. I have _no _idea why I'm crying."

Edward's fingers ran through my hair in a soothing motion and he allowed me to silently cry against him. Once my tears finally subsided, I closed my eyes, snuggling closer to him and sliding my leg between his. "I love you, Bella."

His whispered words caused me to smile and kiss his chest, then look up to him. "I love you, too. I don't regret anything. Maybe I'm just a little nervous about the unknown. What it'll be like where we end up, where we're going to live, being so far away from my dad for the first time. But that's normal, right? The new wife jitters?"

"Well, seeing as I've never _had_ a new wife before, I don't know," Edward replied with a small smile, running his hand along my back. "But it sounds logical. You don't need to worry though, Bella. I promised you and your father that I would take good care of you, wherever we are. And that's a promise I intend to keep."

"I'm not worried about that," I said, tracing along his pec with my index finger. "I've been doing some reading on these Army spouse message boards for a while. You know, just to get an idea of what to expect. And the only thing that really seems consistent is that it's unpredictable. You can never know for sure what's going to happen one day to the next. I don't really have a problem with that, obviously, since I still married an Army man. I guess I just need to know that _we_ will be predictable."

"_We_ will _always_ be predictable. We're not going to change," Edward replied, running his thumb over my cheek. "That's one guarantee I can give you."

I nodded, closing my eyes again with his touch and the gentle brush of his lips on mine. "That's all I need."

I felt my body relax as I nuzzled against his chest, allowing the comfort of his body beside me lull me to sleep finally.

**x-x-x**

The week passed way too quickly and Saturday night arrived, and I moved about the bedroom, packing up the last of my things. Yet, I wasn't sad about our honeymoon coming to an end as I thought I would be. I'd been sure that it would be another night of tears and Edward calming me with assurances that everything would be okay.

I smiled as I felt his arms slide around me from behind, resting his chin on my shoulder as I was packing my suitcase. "Are you all packed for the morning?"

"Mm-hmm," he hummed and kissed my neck. "How come I didn't see even half of these all week?"

I laughed and rolled my eyes as he lifted a piece of black, lacy lingerie with his fingers, taking it from him and folding it to join the rest. "How often did we take the time to actually _change_ for bed, baby? Don't worry, you'll still have plenty of opportunity once the novelty passes and I have to start seducing my husband into bed with me."

Edward growled playfully at my teasing tone, lightly swatting my backside as I wiggled out of his arms to return to the dresser. "Like that is _anything_ that we need to worry about. Never going to happen."

"You never know," I replied, shrugging my shoulders. "You could be tired after a long day of training, have your mind on other things, sex with your wife being the last of your concerns."

Edward took my arm as I made to move past him again, taking the clothes I was holding with his free hand and tossing them onto the bed. His fingers slid from my sides to the small of my back, pulling me against him and into a deep kiss. "More message board stuff?"

I shrugged and linked my hands behind his neck. "Not _entirely_. Most marriages have that honeymoon phase where the couple goes at it like rabbits, and then it tapers off, with or without the Army aspect. Just seems to happen more quickly _with_ it."

"Don't read too much into all that, Bella. Everyone is different, and some guys are more into their careers than others. But I can't see myself _ever_ wanting you less than I do right now," Edward said gently, linking his thumbs through the belt loops of my jeans. "The Army is the job I've chosen, but as much as I love my job, it's not my life. _You_ are. And I love you so much more. And _you_ are what I am still going to want long after the Army is behind us."

I sighed contentedly as he rested his forehead on mine and my arms wrapped around his neck securely. "You always know what to say to make me feel better. I should be turning to you, not those boards. I'll stop going on, I promise."

"I'm not asking you to do that, baby. It might even be good for you to have other Army wives to talk to and share your grievances with."

"I doubt I'll have many, with the exception of an occasional bout of homesickness. But Virginia will be great," I replied with a shake of my head. "And home is where my husband is."

The smile that stretched across Edward's face seemed conflicted, and I immediately felt as if I'd said something wrong. We hadn't really discussed our destination once we left Washington since Edward had received his assignment to Fort Lee in Virginia the week before. Our wedding and honeymoon was all that had been on our minds, but with that behind us, I knew the time was coming when we would _need_ to. He pulled me closer and hugged me, burying his face in my neck and gently rocking me back and forth.

"How about I leave one of these little pieces out, make you some dinner, and then bring you back in here to treat you to some dessert in it," I whispered, kissing that spot behind his ear that always made him groan and tighten his arms around me with the promise it held.

"I think that sounds like an excellent plan, Mrs. Cullen," he mumbled against my skin and then lifted his head to look at me with a more genuine smile. "See, with a mind like that, how could you believe that you would ever have to _try_ and seduce me. You're a natural and I'm a lucky man."

"And don't you forget it, Mr. Cullen," I shot back teasingly and his lips crashed to mine, lifting me up to wrap my legs around his waist. "You need to eat all your dinner before you get dessert, dear. You'll need all your strength tonight."

Edward groaned with a squeeze on my waist before setting my down to set my feet on the floor. "You're gonna get it tonight, my little tease."

"I definitely hope so," I replied, pecking his lips once more and scooted from the room, squealing as he chased me out the door and down the hall.

**x-x-x**

We arrived at the Cullen's just before noon on Sunday, where the whole family would be gathering for lunch to welcome us back and to say goodbye to Grandma Platt before she left to return to Boston the following day. My dad and Sue pulled up right behind us and it was such a relief to see them both smiling again with their arms wrapped around the other's waist.

"How was the honeymoon?" my father asked as he embraced me in the driveway and then pulled away so that Sue could do the same.

"It was great. Very relaxing," I answered and slid my arm around Edward again. "It's good to be back home before we have to leave again, though."

My dad smiled and nodded in agreement, and we all made our way inside, where we were greeted with more hugs and conversation before lunch. It seemed that everyone was making the most of the time we were getting together before Grandma went home and we made our way across the country to ours. She was thrilled at the prospect of having her grandson on her side of the country at last for longer than a few months and began making plans to visit us very soon, which _was_ a significant consolation.

However, telling my dad about Edward's assignment was difficult, since I hadn't done so before that to save him the week or so of dreading. But as I watched him nod and look down sadly, I began questioning whether I had made the right decision in doing so. It had given him such little preparation time, and just that much more to hope that we'd end up somewhere closer. He did relax considerably after dinner with Sue's reassurance that they would see us again soon, and breathed a little easier as he brought his eyes back to us. "So, what are your plans for the evening, you two?"

I glanced to Edward and we both shrugged, looking back to my father. "We really didn't have any. Why?"

"I was just wondering if you could come to the house tonight for a bit. I'd like to spend a little time with my daughter before you all leave, and we have some family stuff to discuss with you," he replied, clearing his throat and shifting a little in his seat. My brow furrowed and I gazed at him in concern—it sounded serious. My stomach coiled and my hand shook in Edward's hold.

_Please, don't let there be something wrong with my dad. We only just made it over the hurdle with Carlisle; I can't bear to be across the country if my dad is sick and needs me here_, I thought, gazing at him expectantly when my voice failed me.

"Bella, I'm fine," he answered the question in my eyes and even offered me a smile, which definitely allowed me to breathe a little easier. "Edward is more than welcome, too. He _is_ part of our immediate family now as far as I'm concerned."

I tried to take solace in his words as I nodded in agreement and in Edward's arm coming to drape around my shoulders. I needed to quit being so paranoid, but everything had been going so well that I was just waiting for the other proverbial shoe to drop. My dad was simply asking his daughter to come over for a visit—nothing tragic in that.

However, that reminder to myself did nothing to quell my nerves as we left the Cullen's that night, promising to stop by in the morning to see Grandma Platt one last time before she left and heading over to my father's house. Edward was also eerily silent, and I couldn't help but think that similar thoughts were going through his mind as they were in mine earlier in the evening. When we pulled in front of my father's house, I reached my hand over to take his and he turned his head to meet my eyes.

"I love you," I said gently, leaning over to brush a soft kiss against his lips.

"Making sure you get one more in just in case your dad's gun awaits me on the other side?" Edward replied with a chuckle and I opened my eyes, relieved to see the lightness return to them.

My laughter joined his and I felt much more at ease, taking a moment with his forehead resting against mine to draw in a deep breath and shake my head. "If he didn't chase you out of town when you ask him about marrying me, I'm pretty sure we're in the clear."

"Until the time comes when we have to tell him that he's going to be a grandfather," Edward added with a soft peck of his lips on mine.

"Which won't be for a long time, and most definitely not tonight," I replied, shaking my head and reaching for the door handle.

"True. Very true," Edward agreed and got out, reclaiming my hand at the front of the car and we made our way to the house.

When I led Edward through the front door, I could already hear my father's mumbling voice in the living room and I moved into the doorway. Sue sat beside him on the couch, holding his hand and caressing it gently, and I stiffened, as did Edward behind me with his hands gripping my waist.

"Dad, don't tell me this is nothing," I said in a slightly shaking voice, causing his eyes to meet mine. "You look worried."

"No, baby. It's not nothing. But it isn't anything bad, either. Please, come sit down," my father said, gesturing to the cushion on the other side of him.

I took a slow breath and claimed my husband's hand in mine, walking across the room to sit beside my dad while Edward sat down at the edge of my father's recliner. "Just tell me. Please tell me it's that you guys are getting married or something?"

My dad chuckled nervously, glancing over at Sue briefly and then shaking his head as he turned back to me. "No, Bella. We're not getting married. Not right now, anyway."

"We wanted you to be able to enjoy your wedding and honeymoon without anything else on your mind," Sue added when my father seemed to be stumbling over his words.

"O-kay," I said, not sure who was making me more nervous at that moment—my dad or Sue.

My father's hand came to rest over mine beside him, folding his fingers around it. "I love you more than anything in this world, Bella. I never want you to doubt that for one minute."

"Charlie," Sue said gently, as if urging him to move forward in the conversation.

My father nodded and took a deep breath, gently squeezing my hand as his eyes returned to mine. "Bella, I'm going to be a father…again."

**x-x-x**

Of all the bombshells my father could have dropped, that was the one I definitely had expected the least. He was going to be a dad again, Sue was having a baby, I was going to be a big sister.

Wow. The only thing that sounded even halfway normal in that was Sue having a baby, but my _dad's_ baby?

The conversation had taken longer than any of us had expected, once I got over my shock, and they insisted that Edward and I stay there that night instead of heading out to find a hotel or wake the Cullen's.

"Just nothing … you know… I know you're married and everything now, but still. It's under my roof and all," my father stammered as Sue rolled her eyes, swatting his arm lightly as she passed by him to go make up the bed in my room.

"Of course, sir. Wouldn't think of it," Edward replied since I was still rendered speechless, and then guided me up the stairs with his hand resting on my lower back.

It was the farthest thing from my mind anyway, even with my husband lying behind me with his arm around my waist, on my old bed.

"It's not that bad, you know," Edward whispered, his lips brushing against my shoulder.

"I know it's not," I answer, pulling his arm more securely across my chest. "It just seems strange. He's got one kid that's only just left the nest, and now, he has a new one coming into it. But he seems happy, and that's all I want. And I've always wanted a little brother or sister. I just can't believe it's happening _now, _or help feeling a little sad that I won't be here for it all, you know?"

Edward drew in a slow breath and let it out slowly. "I know, baby."

The tone of his voice shook me out of my thoughts and I turned my head to look back at him before shifting around on the small twin bed to face him. Our bodies were pressed so close together and I stroked his cheek gently with my hand, and then kissing him gently. "Not _that_ sad, Edward. There are phones, and email, and hell, even Skype. I could probably even fly back for a day or two after the baby comes and watch my dad go crazy with a newborn. For now, I will be happy for him, and I'll get over the shock myself. But this is still our time, too. I'm ready to start my life with you, even thousands of miles away."

Edward's arm slid around my back and pulled me closer, kissing me gently but soundly. "I'll make sure you can come back for it, Bella. I promise."

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**A/N: I will be posting an outtake of Charlie POV, as I couldn't get it out of my head once one of my readers suggested it. It will be posted under the ABC Outtakes, if any of you are interested in reading it. :) Thank you all for reading! Have a great weekend.**


	18. Ol' Married Couple

**A/N: Since finishing Finally Found this past weekend, I have received several PMs about this story, and I want to thank those of you that contacted me or even still wondered about Don't Ever Forget. As I've said often in the past, this story means a lot to me, and these characters are very close to my heart. They were the first multi-chapter Edward and Bella I ever wrote when I began ABC way back when I started writing in the fandom. So I put a lot of focus on them when I work on the story, and summertime with my son home, I don't have the focus I need to concentrate on them. And damn, do I miss them when I can't write them. So when he went back last week, and I finished the last bit of Finally found, Armyward started demanding his say again, and he really is quite persuasive. I'm really hoping to have this story done by the end of the fall *knocks on wood* barring any real life drama. So thank you for still reading and interest you still have in this story. It means so much to me, I can't even begin to express it.  
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**And once again, thank you Erica for being my freakin hero and kicking my ass when I'm talking shit. :P And for reading this over so quickly.  
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**Hope you all enjoy!  
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* * *

**Don't Ever Forget 18 ~ Ol' Married Couple**

Married life couldn't have more different than I'd imagined it before Bella and I stood at that altar and said "I do". It was _better_.

Saying goodbye to my family again was hard, and it was even _more_ trying on Bella. Not only was she leaving her father, who meant the world to her, and my equally as treasured family, but she was also parting from a woman she'd come to love just as much and her unborn sibling. Yet, an hour after we began our journey across country, her tears gradually slowed and she and I started discussing our future together for the remainder of the drive.

When we moved into our new apartment a month later, a few miles from post, she laughed as I carried her over yet another threshold, but held on tight around my shoulders even after the door was closed behind us. We were _home_; our first _real_ home together as husband and wife.

I quickly learned that the "honeymoon period" of a marriage was called that for a damn good reason. I found myself getting up a little earlier in the morning than I did before, just for that few extra minutes to kiss her—or if I was _really_ lucky, make love to her—before I had to leave for the day. And days off were an _entirely_ different story, where rising before ten or eleven from our bed was rare for us. I felt anxious to return to her every evening, to come home to my beautiful wife, who was always there waiting at the door for me. And I loved watching her from across the kitchen table while we ate dinner and having her there to talk to each night about our days. Then making our way to bed and waiting for her to come out of the bathroom, eager to see which piece of lingerie she would choose for that evening. And the sex—every time had been amazing and different, whether we were in the mood for slow and passionate, or ravenous and urgent.

_Nothing _had been boring or routine for anything in the first three months of our marriage, especially after the night of her eighteenth birthday.

The only thing that Bella really had difficulty adjusting to right off was the early rising at 0400. She'd _never_ been a morning person for at least as long as I'd known her. Yet, even when I told her to just stay in bed and catch some more sleep, she grumpily insisted on getting up to make my breakfast while I showered and got ready for the day.

I swore, if it wasn't for PT, my wife would succeed in making me fat with her cooking.

It was with those thoughts in mind that I opened my eyes, glancing over at the clock on my nightstand to see that I had ten more minutes before my alarm went off. I rolled onto my side and pressed my body to my wife's back, kissing along her bare shoulder and up her neck. She wiggled in my arms in response, causing me to groan as she shifted against my morning erection.

"Good morning, baby," I whispered into her ear, my lips brushing softly on her lobe.

"Edward, the alarm hasn't gone off yet so I _know_ I have at least a few more minutes," Bella grumbled, turning her face and nuzzling it into the pillow.

"Mmm-hmm. We do," I replied in a suggestive tone, running my hand over her abdomen and up to her breast, squeezing it gently. "Plenty of time."

"Are you serious?" her muffled voice sounded from against the pillow. "You're really not complimenting your stamina in the husbandly duties much there, honey. And after twice last night, you didn't get enough?"

"Nope. Never," I murmured, circling my thumb around her nipple. "I could _never_ get enough of this gorgeous body of yours. And I'll give _you_ stamina."

"Baby, I love you. But not going to happen this morning," Bella answered with an almost patronizing pat to my arm, slithering out of my hold and throwing the blankets off her. I rolled onto my stomach and buried _my_ face into her pillow, and then felt her hand swat my ass through the sheet still covering me. "You are such a baby and hopelessly insatiable. But come on. You need a shower and I have to make your breakfast."

I lifted my head and turned it toward her, watching as she slid on my boxers from the night before and grabbing one of my PT shirts from my dresser drawer. "Oh, that is _not_ fair. What am _I_ supposed to wear all the way across the hall?"

Bella rolled her eyes in response, twisting the waistband of my boxers at her hips, knowing _exactly_ how it affected me when she wore my clothes. "First of all, don't even pretend like you have _any_ issue walking around this house completely naked. Second, you only wore these for an hour last night after your shower and my dresser is _way_ over there. If you think I'm cooking in _that_, you better roll on over and keep dreaming."

I whimpered teasingly when she pointed to the black negligee she'd worn the previous evening and brought my eyes back up to her. "See, I took a shower last night. I should conserve the natural resources, or maybe take one with my sexy wife."

"You are _not_ reporting for duty on Monday morning smelling like a weekend-long orgy," Bella replied and walked to toward the bedroom door. "So now that I'm awake, you get up out of this bed and take a shower."

"Fine," I said with a dramatic sigh, tossing the sheet off and from the corner of my eye, caught sight of Bella scratching her ass as she left the room. "Okay, why can't _I_ get away with that, but it's sexy when you do it?"

Bella appeared in the doorway again, glaring at me for a moment before crossing the room and grabbing her pillow, and threw it at me. Her expression quickly shifted with her shriek when I caught her arm and pulled her back onto the bed again, rolling her over me to lay on my other side. Her laugh bubbled through as I kissed her and her arms circled around me, holding me against her.

I parted from her lips and brushed my nose along hers, reaching over to silence the alarm and feeling her fingers tracing over the skin of my back. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she whispered, kissing me again quickly. "But you're still not getting any until tonight. You need to get to work and I have a million things to do today."

I rolled off her as she began to rise again and finally did as well, making my way across the hall to the bathroom and catching the "nice ass" remark from Bella down the hall.

When I walked out to the kitchen a half hour later, she was setting my breakfast on the table and she looked at me, sighing heavily. "You did it, didn't you?"

I tried to hide my smirk as I sat down, grabbing a piece of toast and taking a bite with a shrug. "Did what, baby?"

Bella raised an eyebrow at me and then her features relaxed. "That's fine. You know the drill. You get off, so do I."

"But you didn't _want_ you," I replied with wide eyes, feeling arousal stirring within me at the image her suggestion conjured in my mind.

"Doesn't mean I _never_ want to while _my_ sexy husband is still at work," Bella said deviously and my head fell back with a groan. She moved behind my chair and rested her hands on my shoulders, leaning down to press her lips softly to mine. "I'm equally as insatiable, baby. Just not so much at four in the morning."

"Go for three tonight?" I asked, wiggling my eyebrows at her and laughing as she thwapped the back of my head.

"Over-achiever. I'm going for my shower now," Bella replied, walking away.

"What? No kiss goodbye?" I called after her and she stopped, looking over her shoulder at me. "I gotta stop for gas on the way in."

"You just got a kiss, Edward," she answered with her hands on her hips.

I leaned back in my chair, folding my arms over my chest. "You know what I want."

"With morning breath?"

"For better or worse, baby," I answered with a joking shrug. She came back over to me and stepped between my legs, taking my face between her hands and kissing me soundly. I could taste the bacon she'd obviously sampled while she was cooking and ran my fingers along the backs over her smooth thighs. When she pulled away, I nodded and she gave me an odd look. "Yeah, go take care of that morning breath. The 'in sickness and health' is about to be put to the test."

Bella snarled and pushed off my chest, storming out of the kitchen. "I hate you sometimes, Edward Cullen."

"I love you, too, Mrs. Cullen," I said and she didn't reply, but I heard her laugh just before the bathroom door closed.

**x-x-x**

Bella really was an amazing wife, exceeding even _my_ expectations. She took very good care of me and our home, and I never wanted for anything if she could possibly prevent it. I knew she got a little homesick at times, especially after phone and Skype calls with her dad and Sue, seeing how much bigger she was getting each time with, what we'd been recently informed were, Bella's twin baby brothers.

Yet, she never complained and always did her best to keep it from showing. Periodic visits from my grandmother seemed to help, as it gave Bella someone to talk to and visit with. She'd had difficulty making friends, living off post as we did, even though she had made acquaintance with Emma Bishop, my buddy, Riley's wife. However, they had also welcomed _their_ first baby a few months before, and nothing was the same as having Alice and Rose around for her.

As Sue's due date began looming, with only weeks left to go, I noticed very conflicting emotions in Bella. Any time she would start talking about going home for a few days when the babies came, she would sound so excited, until she looked at me. And then, she would immediately begin apologizing.

"I'm sorry, baby. I really don't mean to sound like I'm unhappy here at all. I just can't wait to see my dad and Sue. And I'm going to be a big sister. I'm excited, that's all," Bella said, wrapping her arms around my waist and pressing her cheek to my chest. "I'm _so_ happy here with you, Edward. You know that, right?"

"Yes, I know that, Bella. You don't need to apologize to me for that," I replied with my lips brushing against her hair. "_You_ know you can stay for more than a weekend, don't you? I know how much you miss them all."

And that was when my Bella's fierceness returned, lifting her head from my chest and shaking it insistently. "No. If a weekend pass is all you can get, that's all I get, too. My place is where my husband is. We promised each other that we would never be apart again once we were married and that's not going to change. As much as I love my dad and Sue, and am looking forward to meeting my brothers, I'm _your _wife. And _this_ is where I want to be. With you."

I couldn't help but smile at the fire in her tone and the way her hands fisted on my t-shirt, pulling me closer and meeting my lips with hers. I wrapped my arms tightly around her, holding my beautiful wife flush against me. "I love you so damn much, Bella."

"I love you, too," she whispered, her hands gliding down my chest and encircling my waist. I felt her fingers slip beneath the hem of my shirt and trace indistinct patterns on the small of my back. "I think it's time for bed, don't you?"

I smirked at her suggestive tone, a sudden shift from the seriousness of our previous conversation. It was only nine o'clock, much earlier than usual, but who was I to complain? "Yes, ma'am."

When I began to move away to head toward our bedroom, Bella gripped me more firmly and pulled me closer to her, brushing her lips on my chin. "I was thinking of something a little more spontaneous tonight."

My eyebrows rose sharply as she began raising my shirt from my body and over my head. She tossed it aside and it landed across the room in front of the television, turning my face back to her and kissing me heatedly. I groaned against her lips and lifted her into my arms, and her legs wrapped tight around my waist.

It never ceased to amaze me that, after seven months of marriage and settling into the daily routine of being responsible adults as husband and wife, we still made love every night we could. We hadn't lost even a hint of the passionate desire we felt for each other on our honeymoon. She wanted and needed me as much as she always had, but we'd never really been as spontaneous as we were while we were dating. In our own home, we could take our time and enjoy the building up of anticipation every single night, without any worry about seizing every moment we had together or disruption by _anyone_. And I _wasn't_ complaining at all.

Yet I couldn't deny that there were times that I really missed it, and wanted my wife to just tear off my clothes and take me. To see that desperate need in her eyes, telling me that she just couldn't wait another second to have me, even to change into something sexy.

And that was exactly what I saw as I carried her toward our room, the intense gaze while she shed her shirt and bra in the hallway, trusting my hold on her implicitly, before we could even reach the door.

I set her down beside our bed, preparing to reclaim her lips with mine, but she shoved me down onto the mattress and quickly climbed on top of me. Her teeth dragged along my bottom lip when she leaned forward to kiss me again and my fingers gripped her sides as she rocked her hips over my hardened erection. Even with all the sex we'd had in the past few months, the heat of that moment was driving me so close to release far more quickly than I wanted to. "Baby…Bella…you're gonna make me come."

"Isn't that kinda the point?" Bella whispered in a breathy voice, kissing along my jaw to my ear.

"No, baby. I mean like _now_," I groaned, lowering my hands to her hips to still them and swallowing hard. My breaths were coming in heavy pants and I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself a little.

"Well," she began in a soft tone, raising her lips back to mine and brushing them teasingly. "I think we can fix that little problem."

"Oh fuck, baby," I whispered as she pressed her lips to my chest, in the space between where my tags lay, before rising and sitting back on my thighs. Her gaze never left mine as her fingers began working my belt and pants, and she started crawling backward down my legs, and taking my clothing with her.

Bella's eyes were dark and fierce, full of hunger, and they did _nothing_ to abate my feeling of arousal for her. I attempted to sit up and pull her back to me, but she held her hand out to push against my chest and shove me down onto my back again. A devious smirk appeared on her lips as she unfastened her jeans and slid them down her legs, stepping out of them and her underwear to climb back onto the bed, and wrapped her slender fingers around my length.

My heart pounded ferociously as her hand glided along me in slow strokes, quickly building me up to that peak again. "Bella…oh God."

I encircled my fingers around her wrist and closed my eyes in an attempt to restrain myself and restrict her movements. I wanted her so damn badly, and at the rate she was going, I would release long before I was inside her.

The feel of her lips on my wrist caused my eyes to open abruptly and look down at her. "Don't worry, baby. I am only just getting started with the plans I have for my sexy husband tonight."

I watched as she kissed along my hand and brought her lips to hover over me, smiling one last time before taking me into her mouth. My hands gripped the covers beneath me and I released a low, deep groan. It had been a _long_ time since we'd done anything beyond sex, and as much as I enjoyed making love to her, the sight and feel of her lips around me was absolutely incredible. Almost _too_ incredible. "Oh fuck. Bella. I'm almost there, baby."

Bella's hands rested on my hips and she increased her motions, massaging me with her lips and tongue. My fists clenched tightly around the fabric in my hands and a groan rumbled in my chest with my release, and she didn't cease until I throbbed for the last time inside her mouth. She kissed her way up my abdomen and chest, straddling my hips again as she brushed her lips against the corner of mine. "Feel better?"

I growled softly, gripping her sides with my hands and flipping her onto her back. Her giggle echoed through the room, but it was silenced when my mouth sealed over hers, replaced by a soft moan and her arms encircled me tightly. My fingers lowered to run along the inside of her thigh and up to the slickened skin between her legs. A sharp gasp sounded from her, followed by a high-pitched whimper as I slid two fingers inside her, and her lips parted from mine when her neck arched in response. "I'll feel even better in a bit. I get off, you get off, remember?"

Bella's nails scratched lightly against my scalp as I lowered my head to her breast, closing my lips around her pert nipple while driving my fingers deep inside her. "Edward, please."

I smiled against her skin when I felt her other hand reaching for me and I pulled my hips back, brushing my lips along her ribs. "I'm not nearly done with my sexy wife, either."

Bella's gaze met mine as I began lowering down her body and lifted her leg to the other side of my head to drape over my shoulder. The sight of her writhing in anticipation was such an arousing one, and I retracted my fingers to glide along her once before replacing them with my mouth. Her ankle dug into my side and I felt the muscles of her thigh tense against my face.

Every sound and movement from her clearly depicted how much my wife still desired and needed me, and the taste of her arousal on my tongue had my own stirring again rapidly. I wanted her badly, but I was determined to give her as much pleasure as she'd just given me. I really was a lucky fucking man.

Bella's moans became a series of whimpers and her hips ground against me. I brought my hand to run along the outside of her thigh as my tongue circled her, and hers clasped either side of my head, pressing me closer. "Oh God, baby. So close. Please don't stop."

I only gave a soft hum of acknowledgement, which caused her back to arch and her legs to grip my face between them. She panted heavily with deep grunts until she fell completely silent, but her entire body tensed with the rush surging through her.

Did I mention that my wife was fucking beautiful? _Damn_.

Her legs slowly relaxed and fell to the sides, and her arms dropped to the bed. She finally began breathing again and I watched as her devastatingly gorgeous smile returned to her face and her eyes opened to look at me. "Come here."

I grinned as I brushed my lips against her one more time, causing her hips to lurch toward me, and then crawled up her body to settle between her legs and kiss her soundly. I felt her arms wrap around my shoulders and her tongue glide along my lip as I pressed inside her, and her nails dug into the back of my neck. Her leg hooked over my hip, pulling me further into her with every thrust, and I needed to part from her lips to breathe. It felt so fucking good and the heat between us was palpable, made more intense by the force of her gaze as it held mine. "I love you so much, Bella."

"I love you, too," she whispered in a breathless pant, her fingers dragging along my face urgently to bring me back to her. I brushed my lips on hers teasingly and rose up onto my arms, retracting my hips from her for a moment and then driving back into her swiftly. "Oh fuck!"

"Regretting getting me off first yet, baby?" I said with a chuckle after another firm thrust and her fingers clawed into my biceps.

Bella's head moved quickly back and forth and her hips began to roll against my movements. "No. Never. Totally reaping the benefits of it right now."

"Oh really?" I asked with a raised eyebrow and she bit her lips to hide her smirk, nodding in response. I lowered my lips to hers and kissed her softly, and then pulled away to sit back on my calves.

Bella's eyes widened and her jaw fell, rising up on her elbows and glaring at me. "Oh _no_, you did _not_ just do that!"

I couldn't stop the laugh that rumbled in my chest at the look on her face, but held my hand out for her. "Come here, baby."

Bella slipped her fingers around mine and I lifted her up to kneel in front of me, her eyes flickering over my face curiously. Her body melted into my arms as I slid them around her and met her lips with mine, eliciting soft moans from each of us. "Edward, please. I need you."

"Turn around," I murmured softly against her lips and she gazed at me heatedly. I took her by the waist and shifted her to face the headboard and her body trembled again with anticipation. Memories flooded through my mind of the first time I had her in her bed over two years before, and I made her completely mine. Just like that. Her hands gripping the headboard as I claimed her body as I'd finally known I'd done so with her heart. "Hold on tight, baby."

"Oh _shit_!" Bella exclaimed, her fingers closing tightly around the brass bar in front of her when I entered her again. Her back arched more with each of my movements and her long ponytail draped down between her shoulder blades.

I released one of her hips with my hand and brought it to her hair tie, pulling it loose and watching her soft, brown strands cascade down her back. "Mmm, much better."

Bella gave a breathy laugh, but shivered as she pressed back against me, wordlessly urging me to continue.

My hands gripped either side of her waist, needing no further encouragement, and began my urgent movements within her again. Soft, indistinct murmurs escaped her in grunts and her knuckles started to whiten as she gripped the rail more firmly with each one of my thrusts. I was about to reach the brink again, but I wanted to feel her do so again before I did. I lowered my chest to press against her and slid my fingers across her abdomen, settling between her legs and rubbing her briskly. She gasped and threw her head back against my shoulder, releasing one hand from the headboard and curling it around my neck. "Go with me, Bella. Let me feel you."

I could taste the salt on her skin as I kissed along her shoulder and her hold tightened at my hairline, just as I felt her clench around me and driving me to join her with a loud groan. When our bodies finally began to relax, I rolled off her and onto my back beside her, fighting to catch my breath.

Bella collapsed at my side and I turned my head to look at her to find her gaze locked on the ceiling, her chest still heaving as she recovered as well. "God, that was fucking amazing. I've been wondering when you would do that again."

My eyes widened and she laughed as she brought hers to meet them. "You _wanted_ me to? You could have said something."

"It's not as much fun if I have to _ask_ for it, Edward," she replied, rolling toward me and palming my face before brushing her lips on mine. "And it was _totally_ worth the wait. You've worn me out."

"Already?" I teased with raised eyebrows. "It's still early, baby."

Bella rolled her eyes with a chuckle and turned over onto her side, facing away from me, and reached up to turn off the beside lamp. "Can't have too much of a good thing or it starts to lose its appeal."

"Oh really?" I replied sarcastically and then slid under the blankets, covering us both over and folding my hands over my chest in a huff. "Well, if that's the case, maybe I should withhold longer next time."

Bella laughed again but it soon fell, and her hand reached back for me. I gently took it and she guided my arm around her middle, nestling her body back into me. "Could you just hold me for a little while?"

My brow furrowed as I slid my other arm beneath her head to wrap around her and felt her fingers slide between mine on her stomach. "What's up, sweetheart?"

"Nothing," she whispered and turned her head to look back at me with a contented smile. "I'm very happy. Nothing's changed and that is the best feeling in the world."

I gave her a gentle kiss and hugged my arms around her more securely. "Nothing ever _is_ going to change the way I feel about you. I'll always love and want you this much."

"Even when I'm old, wrinkled, and ugly?" Bella teased against my lips as her fingers traced along my arm around her shoulders.

"Well," I replied sarcastically and she pinched my skin, but I brushed a kiss on her neck with a soft sigh. "You'll _always_ be beautiful to me. My beautiful Bella."

"And you'll always be my sexy Edward. Even when you're bald with a beer gut," she whispered with a chuckle. "I mean, you're pretty close now as it is."

I growled playfully into her hair and tickled her waist beneath the blanket, causing her to squeal. "I'm nowhere _near_ bald yet, and I blame my wife's cooking for the other part. Maybe she should stop feeding me so well."

"_That_ is never going to happen," she answered and hugged my arms against her, sighing softly. "I like knowing that I can take care of you, too."

"You do, baby. _Very_ good care of me," I whispered, kissing her neck and we laid there, silently holding each other without speaking again for another hour before we began drifting off to sleep.

When Bella's phone rang and woke us, I opened my eyes to gaze at the clock as I took note of the still pitch dark room around us. Two a.m. calls were never good and I extracted my arms from around her, shaking her shoulder gently. "Bella, it's yours."

Bella groaned and reached over to her nightstand to grab it, mumbling a groggy "hello" to answer. She suddenly stiffened and sat up, her eyes wide open. "What?!"

I rose up beside her, gazing at her worriedly and running my hand along her arm. "Baby, what's wrong?"

Bella covered the mouthpiece with her fingers and looked to me. "Sue's on her way to the hospital. Her water broke."


	19. Babies, Babies, Everywhere!

**A/N: At the risk of jinxing myself, I'm actually moving right along on the writing of chapters for this story, more quickly that I have than probably since the beginning of ABC. They are really talking to me, so I am just going to enjoy it and keep trying to get these chapters out to you. Thanks everyone!  
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* * *

**Don't Ever Forget 19 ~ Babies, Babies, Everywhere**

Following that early morning phone call, Bella rose and began frantically preparing for our trip to Washington. Once she had gotten the reassurance that Sue was all right, and that three weeks early was not uncommon with twins, she relaxed some, but not much. She still had the worry that I wouldn't get a pass in time, as it was already Wednesday and she feared that it would be another week before we'd be able to go home to meet her brothers.

Adam and Aiden Swan were born within minutes of each other later that afternoon, and Bella had excitedly met me at the door when I returned home, with the texted picture of two tiny baby boys displayed on her phone. Once again, I tried to convince her to head to Washington without me if I couldn't join her right away, and I would the instant I was able, but she still adamantly refused.

Fortunately, her fears did not come to pass and my leave was granted for the weekend, and I called her immediately to tell her to go ahead and book the flight for Friday evening. The price of the tickets was well worth the exuberance I heard in her voice as she thanked me over and over.

When we finally landed at Sea-Tac late Friday night, Bella could barely contain her excitement, squeezing my hand tightly all the way through the airport until she spotted her father at baggage claim. Tears began streaming down her face and she released me, running toward him and jumping into his waiting embrace. I approached them and his eyes met mine, keeping one arm secured around his daughter and holding out his other hand to me. I shook it firmly and he mouthed "thank you" before he let go to return to hugging his daughter.

"I've missed you so much, Dad," Bella cried into his shoulder and lifted her head once he returned the sentiment, looking at him anxiously. "How are Sue and the boys?"

"They're good. She's really looking forward to seeing you guys. Should we grab your bags and get out of here?" he asked, his arm remaining around her as she hugged against his side.

"Edward's got everything," Bella replied, nodding to me where I stood with our two, small bags for the visit. "Didn't see the point in checking luggage for only a couple of days."

Chief Swan smiled and noticeably secured his hold on her as we began walking toward the exit. Even with two brand new babies at home, there was no denying how much he loved and missed his little girl, and was already dreading letting her go again.

I sat in the back seat of the cruiser, watching Bella talk animatedly with her father all the way back to Forks. It was the most I'd heard him speak at one time since the day I met him. He was obviously tired, but ecstatic to be a father again, and boasted about his beautiful boys. He also inquired about our life in Virginia, despite his frequent phone calls with Bella of the past few months, seemingly wanting to see with his own eyes that his daughter was happy, without the distortion of a webcam image. He appeared satisfied for the time being; though, not for the first time, I could see the hints of loneliness in Bella's eyes as she relayed the fact that she hadn't made many friends out there yet, and how much she was looking forward to seeing Alice and Rose again.

I knew it was difficult for her to make friends, especially being one of the youngest wives on post. At eighteen, she couldn't exactly go out to the bars and such for girls' nights out that many of them would have on Fridays, and she saw that as _our_ time together as well. Even when I myself turned twenty-one in a few months' time, I still couldn't see that changing for me, either. However, the thought of her feeling that loneliness was troublesome.

In that respect, I felt like such a failure as her husband. I provided everything I could for her, but I still left her alone all day with no way to fill her time other than taking care of our home and daily errands—essentially, being a housewife. I had my buddies on post that made my days seem not quite as long, even missing Bella as I did, and she had next to no one. How could I _not_ feel like a crappy husband?

We finally arrived at the Swan home just after one in the morning, and the smile returned to Bella's face when she saw Sue standing in the doorway with one of the boys in her arms. She barely gave the car a chance to stop before she stepped out and made her up the walk to greet her father's girlfriend.

"Edward, come see Aiden," she called back to me as her father and I were walking toward the house, already with the baby cradled in her arms. "He's so beautiful, Dad."

"Thank you, Bells. But let the poor guy get inside first," he replied with his hand patting my shoulder.

I chuckled tiredly and received a hug and kiss on the cheek from Sue before I turned to Bella, looking down at the tiny baby in her hold. "Hey there, little man. A little past your bedtime, isn't it?"

Sue laughed and shook her head. "Aiden is our night owl like his dad, while Adam is already sleeping straight through. They literally couldn't be any more different if they _weren't_ twins."

"You just couldn't wait to meet your big sister and brother-in-law, could you?" Bella cooed at the baby, kissing his forehead.

Brother-in-law…now _that_ sounded weird. I was the brother-in-law to two day old infants. Definitely _not_ something that just anyone could say.

"Well, I'm sure you two are tired after the flight and drive, and Adam will make sure the whole neighborhood is up in a few hours," Sue said with a chuckle, and all three of us joined in. "I made up the sleeper sofa for you and we can catch up more over breakfast in the morning.

Bella whimpered softly as Sue reached for the baby, kissing him one more time and reluctantly handing him over. "Goodnight, beautiful boy."

We said goodnight to Charlie and Sue as well as they walked upstairs and I took Bella's hand, leading her over to the pullout bed. Despite the excitement of coming home, we'd both been up for nearly twenty-two hours straight and it had been a _very_ long day. I'd barely had time to change when I'd gotten home before we were heading off to the airport, and I really wanted nothing more than to sleep.

Bella, on the other hand, was so restless that she continued talking quietly as she changed for bed. "I can't wait to see Adam. He's even tinier than Aiden, Sue said. That's _so_ hard to imagine. Did you see those tiny fingers? What time are we going to see your parents tomorrow?"

I laid back on the bed and groaned in relief, feeling all my muscles begin to release as she slid in beside me. "Baby, I love you, but you're making my brain dizzy and I'm seriously a wink away from zonking out completely."

"I'm sorry, honey," she whispered, pressing her body to my side and kissing me gently. "I'm just so excited to be here. Go to sleep."

I closed my eyes and pursed my lips in an air kiss to her, and that was the last thing I remembered before I found myself waking to the sound of voices from the kitchen.

"Uh oh, my hubby must be up. The snoring stopped," I heard my wife say and I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, shush it, baby," I mumbled, sitting up and rubbing my face with my hands, and then stood to slide my jeans back on.

"How do you manage to sleep next to that, Bella? A freight train makes less of a racket than that," another familiar voice met my ears and I couldn't help but smile.

"If I remember correctly, you are _not_ one to talk, buddy," I said as I entered the room, finding my best friend sitting at the table, smirking at me.

Jasper stood and made his way over to me, embracing me tightly. "So damn good to have you home, Edward."

"Ah-wah!"

The high pitched shriek caught my attention and I looked across the room to see Sarahlynn standing on her mother's lap, bouncing excitedly.

Alice smiled and set the little girl down on the floor. "Go get Uncle Edward."

I released Jasper and watched as Sarahlynn toddled over to me with her little arms reaching up, repeating her wail of her version of "Edward" and giggling as I lifted her into my embrace. "Oh my God, babygirl. You're getting _way_ too big. You need to stop that."

The whole room laughed at my teasing of her, but I could feel tears burning in my eyes as I closed them and pressed my lips to her soft hair. I missed my family and friends so much, but that little girl was especially precious to me. I still carried her baby picture in my wallet and seeing how much she'd grown and changed in the seven months I'd been away reminded me of the sacrifices I needed to make as well, for the job I loved. Yet, there was also the relief that, despite the time and distance, she had not forgotten me, with no small amount of thanks to Jasper and Alice. We'd kept up with weekly Skype calls so she could see my face and hear my voice, and I was especially grateful for it in that moment.

I leaned over to kiss Alice's cheek, which she gently returned. "It's good to see you, Alice."

"You, too. Maybe we can get this little girl to take a nap at some point today, now that's she's got her Uncle Edward finally," she replied with a chuckle, tickling her daughter's chubby leg as she snuggled into my chest.

"Don't _I_ get a 'good morning', or are you too caught up in your other woman?" Bella said from across the table and I glanced over to her, staring at me expectantly with a sleeping baby in her arms.

I adjusted Sarahlynn onto my hip and made my way over to my wife, leaning down to brush a chaste kiss on her lips. "Good morning, beautiful. This is Adam?"

Bella nodded and her eyes lowered to the infant again, running her fingertip lightly over his forehead. He wiggled at her touch and his eyes opened, revealing the same shade of brown as his father and big sister. Aside from the caramel-colored skin, he looked so much more like Bella than his twin, right down to the exact same full set of lips.

"He's beautiful," I said and suddenly felt a tiny hand come to my cheek, turning my face toward the disgruntled look on little Sarahlynn's features. "You're still my best girl, sweetheart."

Her lips turned up to a smile again, and when I leaned forward to kiss her again, she puckered them to meet mine in an exaggerated smooch.

_God_ how I'd missed her.

"She's learned jealousy _very_ well from her mother," Jasper joked, earning a playful glare from Alice, and then kissed the top of her head. "You know it's true, baby."

"Yeah, well, my little girl knows a good man when she's got one. Nothing wrong with that," Alice replied proudly. "Though, I'll hate to see what happens when these two decide to join the ranks of parenthood."

"I'm leaving _that_ privilege to my brother for a while. Rosalie's grown relentless in the baby fever department. I'm sure it won't be long before we have another addition to the Cullen clan. I've still got two years left of my contract with the Army," I stated as I sat beside Bella and settled Sarahlynn on my lap. "I'm good with being a brother-in-law and uncle for a while yet."

"Yeah, me too," Bella added softly, gazing down at her little brother with his tiny fist between her fingers. The trembling cry from Aiden made its way down the stairs and her eyes lit up, turning her gaze to Sue. "Can I go get him?"

Sue nodded and lifted Adam from Bella's arms, and we all watched as she practically ran from the room and up the stairs.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that, man," Jasper said and I looked over to him with narrowed eyes. "I'm just saying, baby fever strikes hard, and these things happen in threes."

"One, two, three," I replied seriously, pointing to the two children in the room and then toward the ceiling to Bella's old room, which had become the nursery. "We're still content just being newlyweds."

Chief Swan, who had been silent the entire time, came to sit beside me in the chair that Bella had just vacated. "Good man."

x-x-x

Visiting my family for dinner that evening felt amazing, and as much as I loved my wife's cooking, there were things I still missed about my mom's. Namely, her baked macaroni and cheese she made that night, and her apple pie for dessert.

I was also relieved to see my father looking as incredible and healthy as he was. Being so far away for months, I had hoped for the best, feared the worst. Hearing that he'd been declared cancer-free months earlier had eased my mind greatly, but as with when I returned for our wedding, seeing him with my own eyes was what I needed to be sure. There were no signs on him that, about a year before, he had undergone cancer treatment, at the table that night. He'd gained back the weight he'd lost, his blonde hair was nearly as full as I remembered it from when I was growing up, though still cropped short, and the sparkle in his eyes had returned to its full intensity, especially when gazing at my mother and his family, including Bella and Rosalie. He was my _dad_ again.

Bella was noticeably quieter than she had been in the past when we'd all gathered at my parents' home for a family dinner, however, and that worried me. She did get a little more animated when talking about her brothers and "how married life was treating her" when asked by my brother, her hand never leaving mine unless it rested on my thigh beneath the table. Otherwise, she seemed very distracted.

After dinner, the girls retreated to the kitchen, while I joined my father and brother in the newly refurbished basement of my parents' house for a game of pool.

"Marriage suits you, bro," Emmett said as he leaned over the table to make his shot and then grumbled under his breath when he missed, reaching for his beer. "I have to admit, I didn't know what to expect when you came home this time. But you and Bella are just as disgustingly mushy as ever."

"You say that like it's a bad thing, Em. I just happen to be very in love with my wife," I replied with my eyes scanning for my own shot, lining up my cue stick and calling the pocket.

"What are they teaching you out there? Sniper skills?" Emmett mumbled when I sank the ball and sighed as I circled the table.

"Don't be a sore loser, Emmett," our father said with a chuckle from his seat beside us.

"I'm not. I just used to be able to whip my baby brother's a...butt in pool," Emmett replied, and I found it somewhat humorous that, even as grown men with wives of our own, we both still censored ourselves in the presence of our father, giving him the respect he both deserved and earned. It also made me feel worthy of calling myself Carlisle Cullen's son, seeing the pride in his eyes as he noticed as well. "And no, it's not a _bad_ thing, Edward. Just…surprising. I love my wife, too, but even Rosie and I mellowed out after about three months. And now it's all about ovulation cycles, body temps and peak days."

I missed my next shot and watched the ball bounce off the side, stepping back to clear the way for my brother and folding my hands over the tip of the stick. "I thought you wanted a kid, Emmett."

"Don't get me wrong, I do. A _lot_," Emmett emphasized and looked back in a preemptive apology to our father before turning to me again, lowering his voice. "It's just that, once the baby fever hit, it became 'don't touch me if _any_ of those factors are off'."

"There's nothing wrong with my hearing, son," Dad commented in amusement from beside us, and Emmett shifted uncomfortably. "I'm also not ignorant to the ways of baby making. I had two of them myself, you know."

"Sorry, Dad," Emmett said in an uncharacteristically quiet tone, to which our father only grinned, and then he looked back to me. "Just wait until Bella gets bit by the bug. You'll see what I mean. Any and all spontaneity goes right out the window."

It was my turned to shift in my spot and take a long pull from my water. "Not something I have to worry about for a while yet. She's only eighteen, we have plenty of time."

"Yeah, that's what I thought, too. And then Rose decided she had changed her mind about waiting a full year, and wanted to start trying the night of _your_ wedding," he replied, pointing to me.

"More information than I needed, thank you," I mumbled as I moved back over to the table, but I was so on edge, I couldn't concentrate.

I loved Bella more than life itself, and of _course_ I wanted children with her … someday. My mind had not changed about that, but nor did it as to the timing or the feeling behind forcing my kids to be "Army brats". All the baby talk, in conjunction with the offness of Bella's demeanor that day, was starting to _really_ get to me.

**BPOV**

"I just don't know what we're doing wrong," Rosalie said in a sad tone, shaking her head and staring down at the counter. "I've been to the doctor, I'm taking my vitamins, eating right, and even denying my husband more often than not. And still, nothing."

Esme and I sat on either side of her, my hand covering hers and our mother-in-law's arm around her shoulders. "Sometimes it takes longer than others, sweetheart. Carlisle and I were together for more than four years when I became pregnant with Emmett, and then Edward came along a little over a year later. And we didn't entirely take all the precautions we could have, either, even before we were married. It will happen when the time is right."

"He wants a baby so much. Hell, if he had _his_ way, we would have started trying right after Sarahlynn was born. He is just _amazing_ with her, and I know he'll be a great dad, and I want to make that happen for him. For _us_. I've _never_ hated my periods more than I do _right_ now," Rosalie replied, running the fingers of her free hand into her hair to hold it back from her face, and the look on it broke my heart. The sadness and frustration from her tone was reflected in her eyes, and it was such a stark contrast to the Rosalie I had come to know over the years. It was obvious how much she wanted to be a mother, in equal amounts to her desire to make Emmett a father.

I could not imagine the pain she was feeling, and honestly, I hadn't really considered it much since marrying Edward, until that trip to Forks. Seeing and holding my brothers had affected me in a way I hadn't expected, and then, seeing the emotion on my husband's face when he held Sarahlynn that way. He'd always been just as amazing with that little girl as Emmett was, sometimes even more so, from the moment he held her for the first time in that hospital room. Yet the tears in his eyes when she walked to him and he saw how much she'd grown, despite his efforts to hide them, were clear as day. I couldn't help envisioning our own little girl walking to her daddy like that for the first time someday, or how he would cradle her to his chest as he had with Sarahlynn. It was the first time in a while I'd seriously given it any thought.

I felt Rosalie's hand turn in mine and squeeze it gently, and I brought my eyes back to her. "Just be glad you don't have to worry about this for a while. You and Edward still look so happy."

"We are. Aren't you?" I asked curiously and my fingers wove between hers.

"Of course, I am. I love Emmett so much, and I know he loves me, too. It's just stressful, you know?" Rosalie replied with a weak smile.

"Maybe your two should just let nature take its course," Esme started in her never-failing motherly tone. "Perhaps the stress from all the effort is being counterproductive?"

Rosalie shrugged and leaned her head on Esme's shoulder, her body relaxing a little in the loving support of her embrace.

"Baby?" I heard Edward's voice call to me from the kitchen doorway and we all looked back to him. Rosalie righted herself and wiped her fingers across her cheeks to remove the tears that had fallen, before offering a slightly more convincing smile. "Everything okay up here?"

I nodded and slid off the stool I was seated upon, making my way to him and wrapping my arm around his waist. "Yep. Just girl talk. You ready to go?"

"Yeah, with the flight tomorrow and all, we probably should," Edward replied, his fingers lightly gripping my side.

Esme and Rosalie both walked over to say goodbye, hugging us both. His mother held her son particularly tight, and to that, I could definitely relate and it tugged at my heart. Even as his wife, the memory of each goodbye I'd had to say to him as his girlfriend never lost its intensity, and I remembered how much harder and more painful each one had been from the time before. I couldn't bear to think of how it would feel as a mother.

"Don't you two be strangers now, and come back soon, okay?" Rosalie said as she released me and turned to Edward once Esme finally pulled away, taking her turn in embracing him. "We miss you both so much."

"We miss you, too. We'll at least be home for Christmas," Edward mumbled against her hair and kissing her cheek as she extracted herself slowly from his arms. "Love you. And you, Mom."

They each returned the sentiment and Edward took my hand, leading me toward the door to say farewell to his father and brother as well.

The drive back to my father's house was quiet, but I didn't dare break it. I knew Edward hated that part of every visit to his family. And with only a few hours spent with them and nine more months having to pass before he would likely see them again, I thought it best to just let him process it on his own and not press him to talk about it just yet.

However, it continued through the night as he lay beside me, saying goodbye to Sue and the boys the next day and then my father at the airport, and the entire trip home, until we were in our own bed again. I snuggled up to his side and brushed my lips against his jaw, but he barely even flinched, his eyes focused on the ceiling above us.

"Where are you?" I asked softly, running my hand over his chest.

"Right here," he replied simply, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and kissing my lips.

"You don't seem like you're here. What's wrong?" I inquired and his gaze met mine with a different look in it than I'd ever seen, and I didn't know _what_ to think anymore. "Is it leaving your family again? Did _I_ do something? What?"

Edwards eyes closed and he sighed, his cheek resting on the pillow beneath him. "Well, yeah. I wish we had more time and December feels _forever _away still, but…"

"But?" I repeated and he drew in a deep breath through his nose, yet didn't move to continue. "_But_?"

Edward exhaled heavily before opening his eyes, and there was that look again. "Bella, we _are_ still on the same page on the kids thing, right?"

I gazed at him in shock and rose up on my elbow, looking down at his face. "Aren't we?"

Edward rolled onto his side, propping his head up on his hand and bringing us face to face. "I hope so. It's just … watching you with your bothers and all the baby talk going on up there, I was hoping that you weren't starting to change your mind. I feel like a complete dick saying this, but I really _don't _want kids just yet. Two, three years down the line, sure, I'll be all for making a baby with you. But I can't see that changing before then. I don't want to hurt or upset you, but I can't be the father I _want_ to be right now. I'm not like _my_ father in that respect. I love my dad very much, and I don't resent him for the choices he made. But he was content in the way he balanced his family and the Army, and I spent more of my childhood _without_ him than I did with him there, with or without deployments. You know that. And with moving ever two years or so, and uprooting everything, new schools new friends … I can't do that to my kids. Or their mother."

I brought my hand to his face and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, stroking his cheek gently with my fingertips as we parted. "I know. And don't worry, we're still on the same page. As much as I would love to have your baby, I'm nowhere near ready for that. And I know you aren't, either. We'll have our kids when the time is right for _us_."

Edward's features finally relaxed and his arms slid around me tightly, lowering us to lie back down and kissing me firmly. "Thank you, baby. I feel a _little _less like a dick now."

I chuckled against his lips and held him against me. "Well, maybe I could help take your mind off it? It _has_ been since Tuesday, after all. That's gotta be a record for us since we've been married, and I've missed you."

A soft groan left Edward's chest as I wrapped my leg around his, pulling his body on top of me to settle between them. "I'm really liking this spontaneous thing."

"Yeah, I figured you might," I whispered against his lips and began guiding his boxers over his hips.

Mission accomplished, distraction achieved.


	20. Me Time?

**A/N: Still moving along in the writing of these chapters, so I haven't jinxed myself yet. :) I even managed an outtake for this as well in the last two days, and that will be posted over under ABC Outtakes this morning as well. I'll be gone for a few days, but I should be posting another chapter on Monday. **

**Have a great weekend!**

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**Don't Ever Forget 20 ~ Me Time? **

**BPOV**

"Baby, I've been thinking," Edward said to me one night, a few days later, as we sat on the couch, only half watching the terrible show on the television.

"Uh oh. _That_ could be dangerous," I teased, turning toward him and draping my legs over his lap, laughing when he rolled his eyes. "What's up?"

"Have you ever thought about maybe joining one of those groups on post for spouses?" he asked seriously and I lifted my hand to meet his on my shoulder.

"Why? You think I'm having trouble adjusting or something? Really, I'm fine. After all this time, I'm practically a pro," I replied with a confident smile, pecking his lips with mine.

"No, you're actually doing great with it, baby. I'm not worried about that," he answered, squeezing my fingers reassuringly. "It's just that, there's only so much you can clean the house or run to the PX, or spend time cooking, or books you can read and TV you can watch, before you start running out of things to do. And I didn't mean a support group or anything. Just maybe something fun for you to do with the other wives. Make some friends so you don't have to be stuck home all the time. I'm not the only one that matters here, Bella. I want you to be happy, too."

"I _am_," I said emphatically, gazing at him in disbelief. "What would make you think that I wasn't happy?"

Edward gave a slight shrug, running his thumb slowly along my hand. "You just seem like you're really lonely when I'm not around."

I lowered my eyes to his chest and leaned my head onto his shoulder. I hated to admit that he was right. Whenever I'd finished cleaning the house or running my errands for the day with way too much time on my hands before I could start making dinner, I'd find myself thumbing distractedly through a book or flipping through channels on the television. It was at those times that I missed being able to call up Rose or Alice, or even Esme and Sue, to have some coffee and girl time, even more. I just felt so out of place, even just at the PX, around the other wives, between my age and high level of social awkwardness. However, I never wanted my husband to notice or feel the least bit guilty about it. I loved him so much and I wouldn't trade being there with him for anything. So I looked back to him and smiled, trying to ease his worry. "What, do you have spies checking on me? Are you forgetting who you're talking to here? I've never been much of a socializer. I can count my friends back in Forks on one hand, and I _married_ my _best_ friend. That's all I need, Edward."

"Are _you_ forgetting who _you're_ talking to? Your brave face is great, and I love you for it. But you still _really_ suck at lying," Edward replied against my forehead before pressing a kiss to it. "Just promise me that you'll think about trying _one_ group. Maybe you could find something with art and start drawing again. Or a book club."

I narrowed my eyes at him and lifted my head. "You've already looked into them, haven't you?"

"I may have asked around a little," he answered with another shrug, but quickly looked down. _Yeah, that's right, Cullen. You suck at lying, too_. "Tuesdays at 1100, and Thursdays at 1400."

I sighed and leaned back against the couch. "I knew it."

Edward tilted his head to brush his lips along my neck until he reached my ear, sliding his arm around my abdomen. "Please. Just one. And then, I swear, I'll never bring it up again."

"Fine, _one_," I answered, holding up a single finger to emphasize my point. "And if I don't like it, I'm done."

"Thank you," Edward said with a broad smile, pressing a firm kiss to my lips. "Deal."

**x-x-x**

"Bella, what a surprise," I heard from across the room the moment I entered it, my stomach positively tied in knots. I turned in the direction of it and saw Emma Bishop making her way toward me, kissing my cheek when she reached my spot. "Riley told me that Edward mentioned that you might be coming to join us here. I'm so glad you decided to."

"Thanks. I promised him I would, but I'm really not very good at these kinds of things," I replied, folding my arms around myself, already feeling nervous. It was the first day at a new school all over again, only worse.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine," Emma assured me and guided me further into the room.

The moment I was introduced as "PFC Cullen's wife", all eyes in the room fell on me and my heart joined my stomach in the pit of my gut.

Emma linked her arm with mine and leaned toward my ear as we made our way across the room. "You're something of a celebrity around here. Most of us can't get our husbands to stop for a gallon of _milk_ on the way home at night. So _your_ man? _Quite_ coveted, to put it mildly, and I think they might even be trying to devise a plan to clone him."

I laughed uncomfortably, when really, I felt like hiding behind one of the couches in the center of the room with the implication of the statement. About four months into our marriage, I had a period that was the worst I'd had in years, with pain so bad that I could barely get off the couch, let alone attempt to drive. So, unthinkingly, I'd asked my husband to stop on the way home because I'd run out of tampons, and was nearly out of pads as well.

And one doesn't have to be married or even dating, for that matter—only _know_ a man—to figure out how _that_ conversation went.

However, because Edward was the man he was, he walked in the door that night with two plastic bags. One carried take-out, so I didn't have to cook, and the other held my box of tampons, pads and a bag of Reese's mini peanut butter cups. I _might_ have felt more than a little guilty at that point for being snappy with him on the phone earlier in the day, and I showed him exactly _how_ much I loved and appreciated him after nature's gift and I parted company over a week later. I _hated_ ones like that.

I hadn't been around the other wives outside the PX, though, and even there, they covertly stared at me, and I found it pretty ridiculous. I had an amazing husband, _that_ much I was aware of, but over _tampons_? Either that, or I wasn't self-conscious enough to begin with and the powers that be were _really _trying to mess with me.

I sat down on one of the couches next to Emma and we all settled in to begin with the book discussion at hand—The Scarlet Letter.

"Bella, I'm sorry you're coming in at the end of one of our readings, but it should be much more interesting for you next time around," one of the older wives, who appeared to be in her thirties, said with a polite smile.

"Oh, I read this in high school. It's fine," I replied far more confidently than I felt.

"So, it's still pretty fresh in your memory then," yet another said, though not quite as politely.

Emma leaned over to me again, whispering softly. "Don't mind Sylvia, she's like this with _everyone_."

The discussion began and the differing views on each of the characters and situations really were fascinating to me. I was just beginning to really be glad that I'd come, and then the questions were posed to Sylvia.

"Personally, I don't think Hester deserved all that. And Dimmesdale was pretty much a coward and a jackass through the whole thing until the end of it all. If that were me, I would have taken him right down with me. I didn't make that baby alone. And I also would have gotten that husband of mine off his high horse. Maybe she wouldn't have gone there if he hadn't left her to fend for herself," Sylvia said, her accent from wherever she was originally from becoming stronger and thicker, and sometimes, hard to understand.

"Bella?" The woman on the other side of me, whom I'd learned was named Lynn, turned her gaze to me and I felt like I was back in English class, with all the other eyes on me as well. "What did you think?"

"I think it was a very different time and circumstances, but I always believed in the message I personally got out of it. Every action has a consequence in life, and it's how we handle and carry ourselves through it, and our actions beyond that, that define who we are. And taking down Dimmesdale with her would have ruined him much sooner, and it wouldn't have lessened her own part in it. And she had a child to think about as well, so…"

"So it always falls on the woman, right?" Sylvia asked, bobbing her head.

"No, but she _was_ married and made the decision to be with another man, despite that," I replied and felt my forehead tense slightly.

"Well, like I said, maybe if her husband had been in Boston with her, doing what _he_ was supposed to be doing, she wouldn't have needed the reverend's 'comfort'."

"So, you think she was _justified_ in cheating on her husband because he wasn't _there_? Really?" Emma asked from beside me, obviously just as baffled with it all as I was.

_Thank God, I'm not alone in this one._

"Whether men want to recognize it or not, women have needs, too, regardless of what _time_ they lived in. And men do it _all_ the time, so what the hell," Sylvia continued and crossed her arms over her chest. "Oh, but wait, I forgot, you two are the newbies to this. One of you is still in the throes of the honeymoon phase, and the other has a new baby as well. How wonderful it must be to still be in that blissful cloud of ignorance, where everything is perfect and good, until your man goes on that first training mission away from home. And if you think he's lying there at night, dreaming of you and just waiting to come home to you, you're more naïve than you look. _No_ man is _that_ perfect, even Superhero Cullen. Wait 'til you've been married a few more years, you pop out a couple of kids so you lose that Barbie doll waist of yours, and you don't feel like putting out every single night anymore, and see how long it takes until those googly eyes of his land on someone else."

Emma and I both sat gaping at Sylvia for a moment, and then my gaze wandered around the room, and a couple of the women actually averted their eyes from me _and_ Sylvia.

"Well, I guess it's a good thing I know how to keep my husband's eyes and mind exactly where they belong. He's _very_ satisfied," I replied, feeling my skin crawl with burgeoning anger.

"Oh sweetie, did he make you think you were the first?" Sylvia replied in a condescending tone, and my fists clenched more tightly on either side of my thighs. "You weren't, right? Let me guess, you tamed him. It'll never last, not while they're gone for weeks at a time."

"Sylvia, that's enough," Lynn said, trying to ease the tension in the room, but it was too late.

"He's already _been_ away from me for _months_ at a time, without me 'putting out every single night'. I'm really not worried about it. _My_ husband loves me," I replied, reaching down for my purse at my feet; I needed to get out of there before I punched that woman.

"If you really think he didn't indulge in _Basic_, you really _are_ more naïve than I thought. He's a man, and a young one, at that. They've got needs, and when you're not around to take care of it," Sylvia trailed off with a shrug. "Just trying to open your eyes, honey."

I pulled the strap of my purse up over my shoulder and stood, shaking my head and glared back at her. "Well, I can see why _your_ man decided to stray, _honey_. You're a bitch. If you're so damn miserable, why stay married to your husband?"

"Simple. What's good for the goose is good for the gander," Sylvia replied unabashedly and my eyes widened more, before I turned to walk away, hearing her snicker. "Now, remember, dear. What happens in the book club, stays in the book club."

I could almost feel the steam leaving my ears as I stormed out, seething under my breath while I dug in my purse for my car keys. The audacity of that woman; boy, was my darling hubby going to get an earful when I got home.

"Bella! Bella, wait!" I turned to find Emma jogging toward me with her long, sandy waves bouncing with the movement. "Oh my God, I am _so_ sorry about Sylvia."

"Why are _you_ sorry? It's not like _you_ told her to be a vile bitch," I snapped, causing her to flinch slightly and I rubbed my hand over my face. "_I'm_ sorry. It's not you. I just can't believe her. And the fact that _no one_ else really had anything to say about it. Like it's an accepted norm or something to cheat on your husband while he's away. Or that she knows a _damn_ thing about my marriage or relationship with my husband."

"I agree. I've never seen _anything_ like that in all the time I've been coming here. And I really can't see myself coming back after this," Emma replied, shaking her head with a shudder. "Doesn't appear like she's the only one, and I am _not_ okay with that at _all_. I could never do that to Riley, and I can't see him ever doing that to me, either. Or our daughter."

"Neither could I," I agreed, folding my arms over my chest with a tense jaw. "And I know Edward wanted me to come here and make friends, but I can't do it with women like that."

"Hey, listen," Emma started as I turned toward my car again, and paused to look back at her. "I have a small group of friends that come over to my house on Friday afternoons. It's kind of a play date with our kids, but a few are still babies like Sammy, and it's more like a time to just sit around for girl talk. It's very casual and informal, and the most we complain about concerning our husbands are the normal things like toilet lids and beard shavings in the sink. You should come, we'd love to have you."

The pleading look on her face was hard to resist, and I knew that not only would it make Edward feel better about me not having any friends, it could also be really good for me. Especially since Emma wasn't much older than I was, so I nodded with a smile. "Sure, that sounds great."

"Awesome. We meet there around three, after a few of the kids get out of school, and we usually just sit around and chat for a couple hours before everyone heads home to make dinner. Really, we're not all like that, and there's very few of us that actually _are_. See you tomorrow, then?" she replied, still somewhat uncertain, but I relaxed even more and nodded again before getting into my car.

My nerves were still a bit on edge all the way home and I was relieved to find Edward's car already in the parking lot when I arrived. I quickly made my way up the stairs to our apartment and dropped my purse to the floor just inside, spotting Edward reading on the couch.

"Hey, baby. You're home early. How'd it go?" he asked, closing his book and setting it on the coffee table.

"Please, come here," I said, rooted to my spot and watched as he stood to walk over to me with a worried brow. I slid my arms around his shoulders and hugged him tightly, inhaling his scent through my nose while he returned my embrace. We remained there in silence for several moments, holding each other, and I soaked in the feeling of his body against me. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too, Bella. What's all this about?" Edward inquired, kissing my neck and lifting his head to look at me.

I relayed to him what happened in group that day and felt myself beginning to tremble again with the renewed anger coursing through me, especially with Sylvia's parting statement to me. "_Is_ this an accepted norm? That somehow, cheating on your spouse is actually _okay_? I mean, why stay married or even _get_ married in the first place if you're so unhappy with someone, that you're just going to cheat? And _keep_ cheating? I don't understand that."

Edward kissed my forehead and wrapped his arms around me again, and tears of frustration began falling from my eyes and onto his t-shirt as I pressed my face to his chest. "I don't know, baby. I'm sorry, I didn't think that things would be like that for you there."

"I'm _so_ done with that. But I did get a chance to talk to Emma and she invited me over tomorrow to hang out with some of her other friends. I told her I'd come, but I'll still be home in time to make dinner," I assured, actually feeling more excited about going the following day as I told him about it, much to my own surprise.

"Bella, go and have fun. Even if I had to take care of myself for _one night_, it really wouldn't be that big of a deal. Don't worry about _anything_ else, okay?" he replied, brushing my lips with his.

"Okay. And Edward?" I started, tugging at the front of his t-shirt with my fingers and looking him straight in the eyes. "I really do love you, and not that I believe that you ever _would_, but you _ever_ cheat on me, you won't have to worry about me getting back at you. I'll just chop your balls off."

Edward growled playfully and then laughed, lifting me into his arms and kissing me as I wrapped my legs around his hips. "I wouldn't expect anything less from my little firecracker. But you never have to worry about that at all. I've got everything I need right here, and I kinda like my balls right where they are."

I lightly pinched the back of his neck, but his returned laugh eased me completely, and I took his face between my hands and pressed a firm kiss to his lips. "Okay, now that we're clear on _that_, put me down so I can go feed my amazing husband."

"Mm-mm, nope," Edward replied with a forced serious expression, holding me tighter. "I think I like _you_ right where _you_ are right now, too."

"You don't eat, you don't get to play later," I teased, shaking my head at him.

"Yes, ma'am," Edward groaned with a chuckle, setting me down on my feet and patting my ass as I moved past him to head for the kitchen. The exaggerated sway of my hips made him follow right behind me. That made me smile; my man still had it bad for me. _Take that, Sylvia._


	21. The Lines Between Us

**A/N: Hope you all had a great weekend, and I'm back to writing more after my short break away. I will be updating the next chapter within the next few days once I go over it again a few more dozen or two times lol. **

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**Don't Ever Forget 21~ The Lines Between Us**

I paced the bedroom floor, biting at my thumbnail and trying to explain my current predicament away with _any_ other ailment than the obvious. I wasn't sick. Maybe stress? No, that didn't make sense, either. Everything had been damn close to perfect lately. Edward had just been promoted to Corporal and he was so excited, and I was _very_ proud of him. I hadn't changed any of my routines or physical activity. Hell, I even tried to mentally calculate the cycles of the few friends I'd made on post since I began going to Emma's—disturbing, perhaps, but it's a well-known fact that women who spend a lot of time together tend to menstruate at the same time. However, even that was ruled out and I felt the tears return to my eyes.

_No, please God, no. Not now, I beg you,_ I mentally pleaded as I crumpled to the floor in sobs and leaned against the side of the bed, when I'd eventually run out of possibilities. We weren't ready for it. We had done everything to prevent it for the time being, aside from the obvious of abstaining. I folded my hands behind my neck and rested my forehead against my knees.

I _did_ still want kids with Edward… _someday_. We'd even joked about making my dad a grandfather shortly after we got married. But we'd already talked at length about it just months earlier—not before Edward completed his enlistment, and _definitely_ not when I was just barely nineteen myself. I hadn't even thought about starting college yet, or gotten a job, or anything.

Aside from all that—and the thought of it alone sounded very selfish to me—it was still _my_ time with Edward. We'd barely celebrated our first wedding anniversary and he still had nearly a year of active duty left. We'd _both_ wanted to wait until he was at least beyond _that _and maybe even a year past it with just the two of us before we even began to _discuss_ having a baby.

_A pregnancy is going to change __everything_, I thought with another deep sob, clutching my hair in my fists and then sat up.

I had to make sure before I completely succumbed to despair, even though the idea of walking into our bathroom with that long rectangular box made me feel as if I could throw up what little I'd managed to eat for breakfast.

I'd heard a million times in my life that those particular three minutes were the longest imaginable in a woman's life, regardless of the result desired, but I would never know. Less than a minute into it, I saw that hint of a second line begin to appear, growing darker as my eyes remained locked on it, willing it to disappear.

I glanced up to my reflection in the mirror, finding my skin blanched and yet more tears welling as my lips trembled. "How did this happen?"

Speaking to no one but myself, I shook my head and began wracking my brain. I hadn't missed a single pill and I'd always double checked to make sure before Edward and I got into bed at night. And Edward—how was I going to tell my husband that despite our careful planning, we were going to become parents far sooner than we were prepared for.

I started making dinner for him early, both to make sure it was done by the time he got home and to give me something to occupy my mind with. Besides, it would be _much_ easier to talk to him once he'd eaten and relaxed some from the day. I had just finished setting the lemon chicken he loved so much on the table when he trudged heavily through the front door, dropping his gear at his feet. I forced a smile onto my lips before turning to face him, noticing his creased brow and the near whimper that escaped him. "Edward, what's wrong?"

"Please tell me that I haven't forgotten something important like a birthday or anniversary or something," he asked with a wince, but his body language was screaming with exhaustion. "Because then I'll _really_ feel like shit."

I couldn't help the genuine chuckle I gave in response and made my way over to him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and greeting him with a kiss. "My birthday was last week and our anniversary was last month. You're safe."

"Oh, thank God. This training has all my days running together, baby. I'm sorry," he mumbled into my neck, hugging me around the waist. "Everything looks great, but would you mind if I took a rain check? I'm so tired and sore. I honestly think I counted at least ten different muscles that I didn't know I had, just today."

My shoulders slumped slightly and I was fighting to keep myself together all over again. "Edward, I was really hoping that we could talk tonight."

"Baby, can it wait 'til morning? I'm _really_ exhausted and I would hate to fall asleep halfway through on you. I promise, you'll have my full and undivided attention in the morning before I go," he said softly, brushing my lips gently with his and then walking around me, taking off his jacket and tossing it onto the chair.

"Actually, it can't. It's important," I try to say calmly, folding my arms tightly in front of me.

"All the more reason I should be more rested. I'm sorry, baby, I just really can't keep my eyes open much longer," he continued as he walked down the hall leading toward our bedroom.

"Edward," I cried out desperately in almost a bellow and I felt the first warm, wet trail slip down my cheek. "I'm pregnant."

Edward's footsteps halted just outside our bedroom door and his body froze, remaining stock still for a few agonizing moments before turning his head to look back at me. "What?"

His face went just as pale as mine had earlier that afternoon and I began cursing myself for blurting it out like that. That wasn't how I'd planned to tell him, although, I really hadn't had much of a plan at all. But at that moment, he was scaring me a little. "I was late, so I took a test. I didn't want to bother you with it until I was sure, but it was positive, Edward."

He leaned his back against the wall and ran his hand over his hair and down his neck, his face blank and expressionless. His silence was deafening as he stared at the opposite wall, not even seeming to breathe. "How?"

My lips made a firm line and I shook my head as my vision blurred more. "I don't know."

Edward inhaled deeply and nodded, pushing off the wall. "Actually, I think I'm going to take a shower real quick."

I didn't even have time to reply to that before he crossed the hall and closed the bathroom door behind him. My hand clutched at my chest where the welling ache inside me strained against the walls of it as the other braced me against the wall. I didn't know what to think or feel at that moment; I could only tell myself that everything would be okay. He just needed some time to absorb it all and then we could talk about it. And life would get back to normal…

Except that there would never be the "normal" we'd known together ever again, I thought as I began clearing the table and putting the food away. I wasn't hungry anymore, and apparently, neither was my husband. Our entire life was about to change and there was no slowing it down or stopping it. In a few months, we would be parents, responsible for a whole new life that we'd created together, ready or not.

We would figure it out. We would. We had to. But I was having trouble convincing myself of that. Whenever I'd felt lost in the past, it was Edward that had been the calming voice of reason in my ear, always knowing exactly what to say or do. Who would hold me and tell me that everything was going to be okay. And he was in the shower, probably freaking out as much as I was.

I made my way to the bedroom, listening to the beating spray across the hall continue and changing into my shorts sleep set. I stood in front of the mirror over my dresser, splaying my hands across my stomach and gazing at the reflection. We'd made a baby. A tiny little part of both of us combined was inside me right at that moment. For the first time that day, the thought didn't scare me very much at all.

I was carrying Edward's baby. We hadn't planned on a child so soon, but I couldn't see it as a mistake. The only thought that scared me right then was that he _did. _I'd never seen him look like that before, as he did when I told him I was pregnant. So blank, vacant and unreadable. I knew he'd be shocked, but I expected _something. _

I stepped back from the dresser and crossed the hall to the bathroom, opening the door and stepping inside. I watched the silhouette of his body through the curtain and he was barely moving, except for the repeated motion of rolling his neck. I sat down on the toilet, bending my leg to my chest and holding it there. "Can we please talk?"

His head stilled and I heard him draw in a breath, his palms still pressed against the shower wall and his chin lowered to his chest. "What do you want me to say, Bella?"

"Anything. That you're happy. Upset. Pissed off. Something," I replied, my voice straining with emotion. "That we're okay."

"I'm not pissed off, baby," Edward answered and we both sighed at once, me in relief and him in what seemed like exasperation. "And we're fine, I just … shit, I don't know, Bella. This wasn't something we planned on right now, and I really don't know what to think. You were on the pill. Did you miss one or something?"

"What, do you think I did this on _purpose_? I'm just as freaked out about this as you are," I asked, my defenses immediately going up in a way they never had with him.

"No, I don't think you did it on purpose," Edward answered with a sigh and turned off the water, and I felt my body relax a little again. His hand reached out to grab the towel from the rack, and then slid the vinyl curtain across to reveal him to me again, with the thick terry cloth wrapped around his waist already. He began drying his face with another, and I hated being unable to see his eyes more so than ever before. "We're not ready for this, Bella."

My eyes rolled back to force away more tears and I tightened my arms around my leg. "We _need_ to be. We're having a baby. This is _our_ baby. And I really want this."

The towel dropped from his face and he finally looked to me again. "I know, Bella. I just need some time to wrap my head around it, okay?"

I pressed my lips together and nodded, rising from the toilet and making my way to leave the room. I felt his hand take mine and I turned my head to look at him.

"We _will_ figure this out, baby," he said in a soft voice and gave me a gentle squeeze.

"I know," I whispered in reply and opened the bathroom door, releasing my hand from his and stepping out to cross the hall to our bedroom.

I could barely sleep that night and Edward was restless as well, tossing and turning in the bed much more than usual. He was still somewhat tense the next morning when he kissed me goodbye on his way out the door, and I couldn't bring myself to move far from the couch all day.

I hadn't expected him to suddenly switch gears and be ecstatically happy about the pregnancy, but I'd hoped he would at least hold me the night before, and let me kind of feel that we were in it together. He'd closed off from me more than he _ever_ had, and that hurt so much, I could barely breathe. Becoming pregnant hadn't been in either of our plans, but as I sat there watching my hand run over my flat abdomen, I couldn't bring myself to regret it, either.

It was like Esme had said to Rosalie back in March; "It will happen when the time is right." I believed with all my heart that our baby was _meant_ to come along just then, despite the precautions we'd taken and the plans we'd made to wait.

I finally got myself to rise around four to begin heating up dinner from the night before and making a fresh salad to go along with it. When Edward came home an hour later, I began to fear that he would bypass our meal again and head straight for bed. He looked even more drawn and exhausted than he did the previous evening, but instead, he stood at the doorway of the kitchen and leaned against it, gazing at me silently.

I set the salad bowl on the table and crossed the room to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and felt relief when he returned my embrace. His hold tightened on me as he kissed my hair and I pressed my lips to his chest. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he mumbled quietly and then rubbed his hands along my back. "Bella, we need to talk."

I froze, lifting my head to look at him to find his eyes firmly set as he gazed down at me. "What? Please don't tell me that you want me to get rid of our baby."

"No, nothing like that. I could never do that, nor would I ever put you through it," Edward replied and took my face between his hands, kissing my forehead and then my lips. "I've been doing a lot of thinking today, trying to figure out what we're going to do to handle this. And I want to reenlist, and I need you to be okay with that."

**EPOV**

I knew what was coming before the words even left my lips. So when she stepped back from me with tears in her eyes and shook her head, I wasn't the least bit surprised.

"No. _No_," she exclaimed and turned away from me, walking back over to the table to begin serving dinner.

"Bella—"

"_No_, Edward!" Bella yelled even louder, dropping the utensils in her hands to the table harshly and spinning to face me again, with her finger pointed to my chest. "You promised me. You _promised_ that once your contract was up, you were _done_, and then it was _our_ time. No more Army, and we could go home. And now, because I'm pregnant, that changes? You said yourself that you couldn't be the father you wanted to be while you were still in the Army. You didn't want to drag our kids, _or me_, all over the world because of _your_ job choice. Those were _your_ words. How can you ask me to be 'okay' with that?"

"Bella, I don't see what other option I have," I replied, making my way toward her, and she took two steps back.

"What about the option of keeping your promise to me?" Bella snapped with tears trailing down her cheeks. "I've supported you through all of this. I've stood by you, I've married you, I've left my family behind across the country, for you. Because I want to be with you, yes, but damn it, I want a _life_ with you, too. Do you remember that part? The house, the kids, the dog…back _home_. Where our parents can see their grandchild, and we can be regular couple, not just another soldier and his little Army wife."

She was hurt, I could see that, and even understood it. Watching her cry like that was tearing me apart, but my head had to look at the bigger picture.

"And how are we going to have those things? It's not just about you and me anymore, Bella. And I need to take care of my family," I replied and she sunk down shakily into one of the kitchen chairs. "I didn't come to this choice lightly. I've thought of every word I've ever said to you, every promise I've ever made. This pregnancy changes _everything_. I'm sorry, but that's the long and short of it. If it was just you and me still, I'd know we'd be okay if I left the Army and went back to school. Or couldn't get a job right away. We know how to make it through as a couple. You can't cut corners as easily with a family, and as much as we didn't want this right now, there _isn't_ a better solution to the situation we're in at the moment. I have a job I love that isn't going to disappear tomorrow, unless I _really_ fuck up. In the Army, as a soldier, I would be able to provide my family with everything they need. It doesn't get any better than that. I can't _give_ any better than that."

"Yes, it does. It's called having _you_. _That's _what we _need_. My husband and our baby's father," Bella sobbed, pointing to her chest and then resting her hand on her abdomen. "Have you taken _that_ into consideration with your 'not so light' decision? That _we_ need you?"

I took a deep breath and walked over to her, crouching down at her knees. "Of course, I did. And I'm still going to be here, but my top priority needs to be taking care of and providing for this family, not letting it struggle."

"There's more than one way to take care of your family, Edward. And you're not doing so well in one of the most important parts right now," Bella cried, rising from her seat quickly and stepping around me, running for our bedroom and shutting the door.

I remained there on the floor with my elbows supported on my knees, running my hands over my nose and mouth. I swore when I married her that I would never hurt her, never be the cause of tears like that, but there was no way around it.

Bella was pregnant. From the moment she told me that the night before, my mind had not stopped spinning and nightmares haunted my sleep, of not being able to support my wife and child. Our perfect, blissful existence together had been turned up on its end with that one statement from Bella.

_Edward, I'm pregnant._

When I made my way to bed that night after cleaning up another untouched meal, I couldn't ignore the turning of my stomach. She had not come back out at all after storming into our room and I found her already asleep with her back to my side of the bed. I sighed and began to undress, climbing in beside her and kissing her hair.

I wasn't sure if she would ever forgive me, but I hoped we could at least get past it eventually. I loved my wife and didn't blame her at all for the curveball that had been thrown into our plans. She didn't make the baby alone, but it really had changed so much in our lives. I wanted to be a good husband and father, and reenlisting was the one way I knew I could do it. I'd always known that I wanted to be a soldier, even if my career plans had changed slightly when I began dating Bella.

What I hadn't known was just how _much_ I would love it, and how damn good I would be at it. I looked forward to going into work every morning and felt a sense of fulfillment every evening when I came home. I couldn't be as certain that I would be happy in some menial job, working myself to the bone to barely make ends meet and support my family. The Army was physically demanding, but it was worth it at the end of the day. And if _I_ was unhappy with any other job, how would that affect my wife and kid? I never wanted to make my family miserable, or force them to struggle to survive, and I hated that thought more than the idea of moving them around every two or three years.

Nothing had improved the following morning. I'd woken to find Bella's side of the bed already vacant and cold, and after my shower, I walked out to the kitchen. My breakfast and coffee were sitting on the table, while Bella stood by the sink washing dishes, barely acknowledging my presence when I entered the room. I couldn't finish my coffee and regretted starting to drink it in the morning when we moved into the new apartment; it just made me more jittery than usual that morning. Even when I'd finished my eggs and toast and brought the plate over to her, she simply took it from me and dropped it into the soapy water. I made to kiss her goodbye and she offered me her cheek, and _that_ was something she had _never_ done in the entire year of our marriage, except in jest.

There was nothing joking in her eyes and she nodded as I told her that I'd see her after work. No "bye" or "have a good day", and most tellingly, no "I love you" in response to my own.

I returned home that evening, anxious to talk to her and beg her forgiveness if I needed to, but arrived to an empty, silent apartment and a note stuck to the fridge.

_Edward,_

_Gone to Emma's. Might be later than usual. Dinner is in the refrigerator. Microwave it for three minutes._

_Bella_

"Shit, that's right. It's Friday," I mumbled to myself and dropped the sheet of paper onto the counter.

I was only able to eat a little more than half of my dinner, hating the quiet and the absence of my wife across the table from me. Even the silent treatment she was giving me would have been preferable to nothing at all, despite how insane it was driving me. I'd always felt confident in the ability to communicate that Bella and I shared, and our worst arguments in the past had never lasted _that_ long. And we _never_ went more than twenty-four hours without saying "I love you".

Bella didn't come home that night until almost nine, and we barely made eye contact before she passed by me on the couch to head for the kitchen. "You eat?"

_Well, that's something_, I thought and rose to follow her. "Yeah. Bella, can we talk?"

Her back stiffened and she shook her head, after apparently noting that I'd already done my own dishes that night. "I'm tired and going to bed. Riley and Emma are coming over in the morning. Good night."

"Bella, _please_."

"No. I'm not ready yet," Bella replied sharply, and once again, made her way to the bedroom and shut the door.

If I'd had more hair, I would have been tugging it out by the roots. I had destroyed my nearly perfect marriage with one simple choice. If I followed through on it, would she leave me? God, I couldn't bear that. Bella was like air for me; I couldn't breathe without her. She was my everything, I couldn't lose her. And would she take the baby and go home to Washington, where I would be nothing more than a part-time parent, whenever my career would allow me to be close enough to be even _that_? Even if she didn't return home and stayed nearby, I could only be a weekend dad, and _that_ wasn't something I wished on my child, either.

I was so tired, but I couldn't sleep that night, remaining on the couch and flipping through endless infomercials and old television reruns, until my eyes grew heavy enough and I passed out with the remote still in my lap.

I felt the object leave my hand and a blanket covering me just before dawn, but by the time I opened my eyes, Bella was already walking away and I heard the bathroom door click closed, followed by the start of the shower. I didn't go back to sleep, however, and sat up to wait for her to come out.

As with the previous morning, she barely acknowledged me and went about making breakfast and coffee, and then lemonade and snacks for our impending visit from Riley, Emma, and Sammy. When I sat down to eat, Bella left the room to fold the quilt again and tidy up the living room.

The first smile I'd seen from her in days came when our visitors arrived and she excitedly made her way to the kitchen with Emma and the baby. I felt Riley's hand on my shoulder and I looked away from her to glance at him, and he shook his head.

"You may need a trip to the lumber store soon to build yourself a doghouse," Riley said with a sigh and I rubbed a hand over my face.

"Tell me something I _don't_ know," I replied, returning my eyes to Bella, where she sat in the kitchen and lifted Sammy out of her car seat.

"Maybe a beer instead?" Riley pressed, his grip tightening on me.

"Ri, it's ten in the morning," I grumbled, rolling my eyes.

"Come on. I didn't get to buy you one for your twenty-first, and you look like you could _really_ use it right now," he replied insistently, tugging at my elbow to pull me toward the door.

"Fine. Baby, I'm going out with Riley for a bit. We won't be long," I called out to her and she merely nodded, her eyes remaining on the baby in her lap.

Twenty minutes later, we were sitting at the nearly empty bar, with only a few "regulars" around us, but I could only stare down at my beer for several minutes.

"She wants you to talk me out of it, doesn't she?" I started, raising my glass to take a sip.

"She didn't say that in so many words. Anything in uniform doesn't appear to be on Bella's list of things she wants to see, but I think she might be silently hoping for it," Riley answered with a nod. "She's really upset about this."

"I know. I can actually count the number of words she's said to me in the last two days. And it's killing me," I choked on my words, leaning back against the booth bench.

"But you're not going to change your mind, are you?" Riley continued, taking a deep breath.

I was still for a moment but then shook my head. "No, I'm not. I mean, I'm not going to go off and reenlist behind her back or anything, but I tried explaining it to her. That I _need_ to be able to take care of them. I don't want it to cost me my marriage, but I also can't live with the uncertainty of how I'm going to manage that. I want them to have the best I can possibly provide, and this is it. That's my job as a husband and father. It wasn't my intent to put my kids through the Army life, but it would be so much worse to watch them go without if I couldn't afford their basic needs, and that goes for Bella as well. They'll always have a roof over their heads, food on the table, medical insurance, everything. I can't guarantee that with _any_ other profession. And if Bella wanted to go back to school at any point, how would she do that with a baby and a job, just enough to make ends meet?"

"But is it what _you_ want, Edward?" Riley asked, leaning forward on the table.

I drew in a deep breath as I thought about his question, and then nodded. "Yes. It really is. I hadn't thought about it much before this, because it's true, I _did_ promise her. Once my contract was met, I was going to leave the Army behind. But with the baby coming so soon, it's _made_ me think about the future even more. I don't want to leave. Even now, I can come home from work every day and look at my wife, and _know_ that she wants for nothing that she _needs_. That is more fulfilling than even the job I love."

"Okay, you remember when Emma told me she was pregnant?" he began and I nodded. "You _know_ how freaked out I was. And Emma was, too. She didn't like the idea of having a baby while I was in the Army, any more than Bella seems to. Aside from the obvious of never having just one place to call home and the stability that would provide, she was terrified. That something would happen to me, and she'd not only lose me, but our daughter would grow up never knowing her father. Or that I could be gone for weeks or months at a time someday, and she'd sit home with our little girl, afraid that I was never coming home to them. Bella loves you like nothing I've _ever_ seen before, even with my own wife. And there's no doubt in my mind that Emma loves me more than anything in this world, save for our daughter. But Bella's scared. Your dad served in the Gulf if I remember correctly, didn't he?"

My elbows rested on the table and I held my head between my hands. She _had_ heard the story of that from my mother, and how for so long, she feared he was dead and would never come back to her and their boys. The world was an unpredictable place, and she knew that someday, that could be her. Glued to the television, praying for any news that would tell her I wasn't dead, while _our_ child saluted that flag every day and asked God to bring Daddy home safe.

"Shit. I don't know how to fix this," I said with a sigh, my hands falling to the table.

"Stop _trying_ to," Riley emphasized and my gaze met his. "Emma wasn't happy at all with my career choice. But she also knew that she couldn't ask me to be anyone less than the man I was, because then I wouldn't be the one she fell in love with. You can't expect Bella to be anyone other than the woman _you_ fell in love with, either. She's hurt and upset, but she doesn't want to lose you, let alone _leave_ you. I went through the silent treatment, too, and I'll admit, it was _hell_. But she'll talk when she's ready. And maybe it will take some time before everything gets back to the way it was, but I have no doubt that it will. If not better, and stronger because of what you've been through. You mean way too much to each other for something like this to come between you. Otherwise, Emma wouldn't have had to take Bella's keys away from her last night until she felt she was safe to drive home, with the way she was crying."

I felt my chest constrict so tight, I could barely breathe with the image Riley had just painted in my mind. She'd been so exhausted the night before, and it was largely in part to the tears she'd shed. _More_ tears. _Fuck_.

"I'm not telling you this to make you feel like shit, Edward. You know that. But just give her some time, man. It's all you can really do right now."

Could I give her more time? I would, since I had little choice. The problem was, I wasn't sure how much more my heart could take.

* * *

**Bear with me? **


	22. Life's Little Bumps

**A/N: Wow you guys never cease to surprise me, and the last chapter was certainly no exception, in a wonderful way. It's amazing to be able to see the different perceptions of situations such as these, so thank you all so much for that.  
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**I'm still writing quite a bit on this every single day, so before you know it, I will finally finish this story and that is so exciting/sad for me. lol I love these two so much, as I know I've said before. But we've still got a few more chapters before that happens. So I don't need to start digging out the tissues QUITE yet. Hope you all enjoy the chapter.  
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* * *

**Don't Ever Forget 22 – Life's Little Bumps**

I tried heeding to Riley's suggestion, I really did.

However, when Saturday _and_ Sunday passed in prolonged silence, I felt sure that I was _literally_ going to lose my mind. We hadn't talked or touched or even remained in the same room for more than a few minutes in three days. I'd made it to bed the night before, and even though she was still awake, she quickly turned off her lamp and laid down, again with her back to me.

By Sunday night, I was completely falling apart. I laid there in the dark, staring up at the ceiling, and I could tell by the way she was breathing that Bella wasn't asleep, either. Tears burned in my eyes that I was fighting to hold back, but _damn_, I missed her. And she was right there beside me, close enough to touch, but still so far away from me at the same time.

"Are you ever going to speak to me again?" I asked in a strained voice, my throat tight with emotion.

The room was silent for several more moments and I turned my head on the pillow to look at her. Her hand rose to dab at her eye with the edge of her thumb and she sniffled, breathing out shakily before answering. "Yes. Just not now."

"Bella, it's been three days."

"I _know_ how long it's been, Edward," Bella replied tensely, throwing the covers aside and sitting up on the edge of the bed. For a moment, I thought she was going to walk away, but she didn't move any more than to bring her hand to her abdomen.

"Are you okay?" I asked worriedly, rising up behind her.

"Do you care?" she retorted softly, but choked on the last word and looked down.

My eyes widened and I was struck speechless by her statement. "What kind of question is that? Do you think I would be this freaked out over you not _speaking_ to me if I didn't care?"

"About our _baby_, Edward. About the fact that I am carrying _our_ child," Bella replied, flipping the switch on her lamp and standing up to face me. "Okay, fine. You want to talk, let's talk. What is it that you want to say?"

"I don't want to fight with you, Bella. I know you're mad at me for wanting to reenlist, but…"

"You know what, Edward? You want to reenlist? That's fine, reenlist. You _really _think that's all I'm upset about? That it's _really_ that simple?" she asked with tears flowing down her cheeks and her lips trembling as she spoke.

"I know you don't want me to," I replied, shaking my head.

"No, I don't. I _really_ don't. But I didn't want you to enlist in the first place, and obviously, I got over that," Bella cried out, holding up her left hand where her wedding band and engagement ring were settled. "You being enlisted _now_ scares the shit out me, but I've adjusted to that. I've spelled it out for you, Edward, and you still don't _get_ it."

"Okay, then if it's not the reenlistment, then what _is_ it?" I asked, completely dumbfounded.

"_You_. It's _you,_ Edward," Bella sobbed, her shoulders shaking. "I wasn't any more prepared for this than you were. And I was _terrified_ to tell you. But this is our _baby_, and you're not seeing it that way. You can't seem to see past the 'situation' or the 'pregnancy', or something you need to solve or take care of, and realize that we made a _child_ together. You don't have to be ecstatic about this, but I need you to feel _something_. I needed you _so_ badly that night, to hold me and not just tell me, but _show_ me that everything was going to be okay. And you pushed me away. You went into your own head and walked away from me. And yeah, I was angry when you told me you wanted to reenlist. It hurt because you _promised_ me, but as much as I've been counting down the days, I've always had this nagging gut feeling that either you _would_ break your promise, or at least fight the urge to. I just kept hoping it was wrong. Even though I _knew_ how much you loved being in the Army and wouldn't want to leave, I _really _wanted to be wrong."

As she spoke, I'd moved to sit in front of her at the edge of the bed, folding my hands and watching her intently. So much pain in those eyes that I had caused, tears shed because of me, and I didn't know what to do. It hurt so much to see her that way. Would she let me touch her, hold her, _anything_?

"Bella, I'm sorry. I know I reacted badly. When you said you were pregnant…that definitely wasn't even on the top twenty list of urgent matters I thought you would need to talk to me about. Never even crossed my mind, and I really didn't know _how_ to react. And of course I realize that we made a child together, but baby, I _need_ to know that I can take care of you. That has _always_ been my top priority since the day we got married. And maybe I could have felt confident that I could do it outside the Army before, but this situation changes a whole lot."

A soft gasp sounded from her and she stepped further back from me, raising her eyebrow, and my hands covered my face. I really _had _just referred to my child as a "situation"; she was right. In all my planning and figuring, I'd never really absorbed the reality of my child as an actual _person_. I'd gotten my wife pregnant, I fathered a child, I had a family to support—everything was so clinical and technical.

Not that I was staring at the stomach right then that carried my baby.

Not that my Bella was so scared and needed me to hold her the other night, to make her feel loved and safe.

Not that I was going to watch my beautiful wife bring our brand new baby into the world in a few months' time.

Not that I was going to have a little boy or girl someday, looking up at me and calling me "Daddy".

I hadn't allowed myself to _feel_ it, only _solve_ it, and it literally brought me to my knees before her.

I was going to be a _dad_.

"Shit, I've been worrying about the wrong things. And I left you to deal with the rest alone. Oh God, I'm sorry, Bella," I said, my breaths short and trembling. I watched her feet as she stepped closer and finally felt the touch of her hand on my hair, and I turned my face up to look at her.

"Not _all_ the wrong things," Bella replied, shaking her head and brushing her thumb across my cheek where a single tear had fallen. "You were thinking like a provider, which you've never failed me on. But I need my husband and the father of my child more than _any _of that right now."

Rising to my knees, I pressed my lips to her abdomen where her top didn't quite cover, still unable to believe that our child lay nestled in there somewhere. I stood slowly and slid my arms around her waist to hold her, and I wouldn't have blamed her at all if she hadn't welcomed it, though I was relieved when she did.

Eagerly.

Bella's arms wrapped around my shoulders and she even lifted onto her toes to secure her hold on me more firmly. I continued to mumble apologies into her neck, holding her as tightly as I could without hurting her, or the baby.

Our baby.

"Oh God, we're having a baby," I whispered softly, lifting my head and taking her face between my hands, and kissing her. "You're having my baby."

"Please don't be mad. I didn't mean for this to happen," she replied with more tears streaming down her face, her body shuddering with a cry.

"Oh, baby," I sighed, brushing my lips on her forehead and guiding her over to our bed, lying down with her and wrapping her in my arms. What I _should_ have done three nights before. "No. No, no. I am _not_ mad, least of all at you."

"But you didn't want this, you never did, even before we got together, and now I'm forcing you into fatherhood," she sobbed against my chest, clinging her arm around my waist. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize like you're the only one made this baby," I replied and she lifted her tear-filled eyes to meet mine. "Not everything in life can be perfectly planned exactly the way we want it. If I've learned nothing else from this, it's _that_. But it doesn't mean that I don't _want_ this baby. You've always said that everything happens for a reason, right?"

Bella pressed her lips together and nodded, another tear slipping from her eye and I gently kissed the trail it left over the bridge of her nose. "But a baby? Now?"

I rolled onto my side to face her, slipping my hand between us and running the backs of my fingers over her abdomen. "It really doesn't matter when or how it happened, Bella. I would _always_ want this baby with you. This is _our_ baby. You and me. And I would love this little person no matter _when_ he or she decided to come along."

A soft smile came to her lips and she pulled me closer, and I cocooned her in my arms. "Will you still feel that way when we have to tell my dad that he's going to be a grandfather so soon after having two more babies of his own?"

I sucked in a slow breath and hummed in contemplation. It was true; Charlie was not exactly going to be thrilled with the prospect of his daughter becoming pregnant. Not so much because it was so soon after the birth of his own sons, but I had repeatedly assured him that children were not in our plans for at least another couple of years. "Well, all the more reason to enjoy every moment of this one, right? We might not have any more after this, once he gets his hands on me."

"It won't be _that _bad," Bella replied with a chuckle, and it was a relief to hear that sound again, even as she gently swatted my back.

"Yes, baby. I'm still going to feel this way," I said, kissing her hair and we lay silently in each other's arms for several moments until she looked up at me again nervously. "What?"

Fresh tears rimmed her eyes as they flickered between mine, dragging her teeth over her lip and taking a deep breath. "You _really_ want to reenlist, don't you?"

I sighed, lowering my gaze from hers for a second before looking back to her. "Yes, Bella. I do. I understand how you feel, but I need to know that I can take care of you and our baby. That you both have everything I can possibly give you."

"I understand that, too," she murmured softly with a nod, hugging me tightly against her. "I can't tell you that I will exactly be doing cartwheels over it anytime soon, but I also don't want to take the chance of falling apart because either of us unhappy. However slim that would be. I'm not as miserable in this life as I was afraid I would be, and to be honest, I think I was as much meant to be an Army wife as you were a soldier. Even though it scares me and I wanted to go home, I've had trouble imagining our lives any other way after all this. The only thing that really scares me is the thought of losing you. I've spent my whole life, for as long as I can remember, so afraid that my dad wasn't going to come home from work some night. I've told you that. And I feel so lucky that I _haven't _lost him. But if I lost _you_ …" she paused, her voice strained with emotion and her fingers clinging to my back. "I really don't know what I'd do. And now, with the baby coming…"

"I know, baby. I know," I whispered against her forehead, running my fingers through her hair as she pulled herself closer to me. "But I will always come home to you and our baby. I promise."

I felt her wince slightly in my arms and lowered her head to press to my chest, her hands balled at my back.

"Those words are never going to mean the same thing between us again, are they?" I sighed, my eyes rising to the wall above our heads.

"Someday, they will," she replied, her fingers unclenching and gliding along my skin again. "I know you never intended to break it when you made it, and that nothing can change the fact that it was. But I don't love you any less for being the man you are. I'll just need some time for that part to stop hurting a bit. It will, though. I have no doubt about that. And we'll be fine, even after you reenlist."

I brought my gaze back down to meet hers and watched her take another slow breath. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. You say that not everything is about you, but it's not all about me, either. Marriage is about compromising, right? And we're a family," she said softly and brushed her lips on mine. "I've supported you through all this, but you've done just as much for me. Your wants and needs are just as important to me as mine are to you. And our family's needs are just as important to both of us. And if staying in the Army is what will keep our _entire_ family happy, you included, then that's what will make _me_ the happiest. This isn't a _bad_ life, by any means. Just a little scary."

"Thank you, Bella," I replied in a strained, emotional tone, pressing my lips to hers firmly. "I wouldn't go through with it if you'd said no. No matter how much I wanted it. You're so much more important to me than that. You know that, don't you?"

"I do. But I won't," she answered, shaking her head and snuggling against me. "As long as I have you and our baby, that's all I need to be truly happy."

"So when do you think it happened? If you had to guess," I asked after a moment, genuinely curious.

Bella's hands stilled on my back, and for a second, I thought I had gone too far too soon. Then she laughed softly and looked up at me. "I'll probably have a better idea once I go to the doctor on Thursday, but best guess? Our anniversary, when you beat your record. They do say that the female orgasm increases the chance of conception."

"That's an old wives' tale, probably devised by some sneaky women trying to get more pleasure out of sex while trying to get pregnant. I doubt you'll find that in _any_ medical journal in existence," I replied with a raised eyebrow. "Maybe my swimmers were just that strong."

"Medicine isn't an exact science, baby. This little one is proof of that," Bella said with a smile, lovingly stroking her abdomen with her hand. "And it took more than your 'swimmers' to create this baby, you know."

"Okay, I'll deflate my head a bit," I murmured with a chuckle, but then took a shuddering breath, kissing her gently and pulling her back into my arms. "God, I really thought I was going to lose you."

Her hold tightened on me and she slid her leg between mine to close any remaining space between us. "I'm not going anywhere, Edward. Neither of us are."

I thought I'd learned to never take for granted the feeling of holding her, but I had. Until I couldn't for three very long nights and I never wanted to miss her ever again as I had in that time. I soaked in every moment of her body in my arms that I could before we both finally gave in to the exhaustion the past few days and that evening had wrought upon us.

We were going to be just fine.

**x-x-x**

Bella and I sat side by side on the couch one night in early November and I held one of her hands in mine while she stared at her phone in the other. After her initial appointment with the doctor, it was confirmed that she _had_ most likely conceived right around the night of our anniversary and it seemed that the pill she was switched to after that horrendous period she'd had the previous year was not as effective with her body as the one before.

So, she was quickly approaching her second trimester, and even though it was barely noticeable that she was pregnant at all yet, she knew we wouldn't be able to hold off much longer before we told our families. We'd be heading back to Forks in just over a month for Christmas, and while my parents would most likely not be terribly upset about becoming grandparents so soon, she was sure her father would need more time to get adjusted to the idea. She didn't want to tell him too close to Thanksgiving, but needed to give him more than a few weeks before she was face-to-face with him as well.

"Come on, baby. We have to tell them sometime," I said, stroking the back of her hand with my thumb.

"_Or_… I could just wear baggy shirts and pants while we're there. No one would ever know until we were safely across the country again," Bella replied, looking over at me and I could see that she was only half kidding. I lifted my eyebrow at her and she sighed, turning her gaze back to her phone. "Okay, but I hope you're ready to handle a hormonal, sobbing wife after he's done yelling at me."

I leaned toward her to kiss her temple and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "I'll be right here, baby. We're in this together, right?"

Bella took a deep breath and nodded, hitting the speed dial for her father and bringing the phone to her ear. "Hi, Sue. Is my dad around? Okay, great."

I watched her face as she closed her eyes and mouthed a silent "damn it", and I released my hold on her hand to wrap my arm around her shoulders.

"Hi, Dad. Nothing much," she began, and my fingers ran along her arm and she brought her hand to her hair. "Listen, Dad. Are you sitting down? Edward and I have something to tell you. No, nothing like that, we're fine. Everything's good. It's just…" Bella paused, swallowing hard and visibly bracing herself. "Daddy, Edward and I are having a baby."

A loud crackling could be heard through the phone a moment later and Bella pulled it away from her ear in response. Her eyes rose to look at the ceiling as she brought it back with tears rimming her lids.

"Dad? Dad, are you there?" she spoke softly into the phone before pulling away, seeing the call still connected. "Dad, please say something."

I listened as I heard her begin to talk to Sue and then let out a sob, curling forward to rest her forehead on her knees. She held her phone out to me and I took it from her. "Hello?"

"Edward, what's going on? Charlie just left and Bella's crying…what's wrong?" Sue asked in a worried tone.

I rubbed Bella's back with my free hand as she continued to cry and took a slow breath of my own. "Bella is pregnant."

Sue gasped softly and was silent for several seconds before she could reply. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. She's just about three months along," I replied and Bella's head moved from her knees to my lap. "She wanted to wait until she was closer to the end of her first trimester before we said anything. Make sure everything was okay."

"It is, right? She and the baby are okay?" Sue asked and I heard a door slam in the background.

"Let me talk to her," Charlie's voice sounded and Sue tried to calm him. "Is it him? Sue, is that _him_?"

"Charlie, please just relax," I heard her say before I heard the phone shuffle.

"Edward, tell me that my daughter did _not_ just say what I thought I heard," he growled into my ear, and I hadn't felt that level of nervousness in talking to my father-in-law since I'd asked his permission to marry Bella. "She is nineteen years old! I thought you said you were waiting!"

Bella's arms wrapped around my legs tightly—oh God, she could hear him. I repeatedly smoothed my hand over her hair as she brought her knees to her chest.

"Sir," I began, knowing that "Charlie" was a privilege that was out the window for now. "We weren't trying to conceive. It was a surprise to both of us."

"You swore you'd take care of her, Cullen. I trusted you. And now, she's going to have a baby when she's still just a kid herself. Before she can go to college or even really live at all," Charlie continued fiercely, but the emotion heavy in his voice betrayed him. He was worried about his little girl and terrified that she wasn't ready to become a mother.

"Chief Swan, this baby wasn't planned, but I will still do everything in my power to take care of her and our child," I said, making every attempt to diffuse the situation between us. "With my reenlistment, they will both be taken care of, and Bella will still be able to go back to school whenever she is ready."

The line went silent again and I found myself checking the phone as well to see if the call had disconnected. Bella lifted her head from my lap and looked at me, shaking her head.

"You didn't tell him about that?" I asked in a whisper once I'd covered the mouthpiece with my fingers, and again, she shook her head. "Shit."

"Edward?" his voice came through again and I swallowed hard.

"Yes, sir?"

"You're reupping?" he asked tensely, though not seemingly in anger, and I responded affirmatively. "And Bella's okay with that?"

I turned my gaze to my wife and stroked her cheek lightly with the backs of my fingers, and then pulled her to my side and kissed her forehead. "We have discussed it at length, and yes, she is."

"Can I talk to her again, please?" he asked, his voice dropping another octave.

"Of course," I replied and held the phone out to her.

Bella took it hesitantly and closed her eyes as she brought it to her ear. She listened for a moment as he spoke, her head resting on my shoulder with tears spilling down her face. "Yes, Dad. I'm really okay. This is the best thing for our family."

Her eyes reopened to look at me, her hand resting on my leg and I covered it with mine.

"We'll still come home to visit when we can, but this is right for us. And we're happy with this. _I'm_ happy," she said, giving me a gentle squeeze. "Okay, Dad. I will. I love you, too."

Bella's face buried into my chest the instant she ended the call and tossed her phone onto the table, sliding her arm tightly around my waist. "You okay, baby?"

"Yeah," she murmured softly with a slight nod. "You need to tell your family. If my dad was this hard, I can't imagine telling your brother without a complete nervous breakdown."

I ran my hand along her back as I held her against me. Bella was dreading telling Emmett, and most especially, Rosalie about the baby. They had still been trying to conceive, with no success in over a year, and it was really taking a toll on Rose. To hear that we'd done so with such ease, without trying and using contraception even—I could understand why Bella would be nervous about telling her.

Hell, so was I.

"Don't worry, Bella. I'll take care of it," I replied, lifting her chin with my fingertips and kissed her gently. I gave her a small smile and turned her to rest back against the couch, lowering onto my knees in front of her with my hands on her hips. "Tell Mommy that Daddy's got it all under control and to relax. All she needs to worry about is making a nice little home for you for the next few months, right? Right."

Bella laughed as I leaned in and pressed a kiss to the very subtle bump rising from her middle. I'd been waiting for her to start showing, visible proof that my child was growing inside her. She thought I was crazy and seeing things, but I knew every inch of my wife's body by sight and feel, better than I knew my own. And there was _definitely_ a small bump, and the firmness of her abdomen had increased significantly—so I wasn't crazy. Her hand ran along the back of my head and I could feel her begin to relax slowly. "You're so cute when you talk to our baby like that. I love hearing you call yourself 'Daddy', too. You look so happy."

"I _am_, Bella. And thank you," I replied, sliding my arms around her waist and settling my head on her chest.

"For what? You helped, you know," she teased softly and her fingers drew circles on my neck.

"Well, aside from having my baby, to which I only contributed the fun part," I said with a small chuckle and then looked up to her with a serious expression. "For saying what you did to your father tonight. I know it wasn't easy for you, but I really do want you to be happy, Bella. And I really want to be the man to make that happen in every way I can."

"Then never change," Bella whispered softly and pressed a palm to my cheek, leaning forward to kiss me. "You make me so happy and I love the way you love me."

I loved her the only way I knew how, with all of me.


	23. Are We There Yet?

**A/N: And still writing away on this and gotten myself a few chapters ahead, so hopefully I can keep this up. Thank you all for reading.  
**

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**Don't Ever Forget 23—Are We There Yet?**

Edward's parents had taken the news somewhat differently. While definitely surprised about the pregnancy, neither of them were as stunned by his follow-through on the reenlistment plans, as he _had_ informed them about it beforehand, after our talk. Edward really was so much his father's son and very devoted to his career, and Carlisle honestly couldn't have been prouder of him.

His mother had been devastated when he announced his wish to reenlist, and gave him a bit of her own silent treatment. The following day, she and I spoke on the phone and she actually sounded afraid. For her son, of course, but also what it meant for our marriage. Then, from one Army wife to a veteran one, we sat and talked for hours, and we both felt a lot better afterward.

In a way that only Esme could understand, having stood beside Carlisle throughout his twenty-five year career, I expressed things that even some of my friends there in Virginia couldn't grasp. Edward hadn't forced me into anything. Especially since I'd been going on post more and getting involved there, such as in the planning of the Fourth of July picnic the previous summer, I'd actually been happier. I seemed to fit in more with the friends I'd made there than I ever had with the ones I'd had in Phoenix and even Forks. Angela, Mike and Alice were very dear to me, as was Rosalie, but I'd always felt different, and I could never figure out why, until I came into my life with Edward. Being raised by my father, life had been unpredictable with his profession as a police officer. In that respect, I wasn't all that much different from my husband. We both grew up knowing that every time Dad left for work, it might have been for the last time. And while one would think it would deter us from entering into such a life as that for ourselves, nothing else quite fit us.

In the three days I wasn't speaking to him, I did a lot of thinking and realized all these things, and it was a bit difficult to grasp at first. A normal, simple life probably would have been great for a while and we could have been happy together, but something would always feel missing for the both of us. Edward was a soldier through and through from the time he was a child, and I knew that when I married him. I was more upset by his broken promise and the way he reacted to my pregnancy, and not sitting down and talking to me about our plans for the future, than the actual desire to reenlist. The military was a scary place, no question about it, but what was more terrifying was settling for something less than who we _both_ were, just because it was safer. It would be like Sue asking my father to strip off his badge and gun because of the boys, for the same reason. Could he have managed to get by and support them in another profession, like a businessman? Most likely. But her partner, future husband, and father of her children was a cop, just as mine was a soldier. And I wanted to raise my own kids as my father had done with me, and Esme and Carlisle had with their boys; to think for and stay true to themselves. The best way for both Edward and I to do that would be to set the example ourselves, while still making sure our children knew exactly how much their mother and father loved them.

After that conversation with my mother-in-law, I could hear both the tears and the smile in her voice. She was relieved that, not only did I have no intention of leaving Edward and would continue to stand by him, but that I also had a mind of my own and still reminded her so much of herself when she and Carlisle were younger. And with a heavy heart of a mother, she gave Edward her blessing as well to reenlist.

_That_ hard part was over.

However, if there was one thing I could say about being pregnant, it would be that it was just a bit overrated. Although, I would admit to being grateful to Edward, not only for being so understanding with my mood swings and increasing incidences of not wanting to be touched with my achiness and constant need to pee; I was also very grateful to him for being persistent with me about going out and making friends. If it wasn't for Emma and the girls, I was sure I'd have spent far more time in tears than I already was.

"I feel like such a horrible mother already, Emma," I said softly one Saturday when Edward and I both came over for a visit with our friends, running a hand over my very slight baby bump. "This is supposed to be a happy time, right? We're having a baby, and Edward is doing so much better with this than I am."

"Well, he's not the one carrying the baby, is he?" Emma replied with a smile, reaching over to rest her hand on my shoulder. "It doesn't make you a bad mother at all. Every pregnancy is different, and at least you're not throwing things at your husband yet."

I chuckled softly, shaking my head as I thought back to her telling of what her pregnancy with Sammy had been like. Her morning sickness and heartburn played tag team with each other throughout the duration of it, in addition to attempting to get through her wedding at City Hall in between bouts of vomiting and peeing. "I just wish the nausea would pass. It's going to make for a very _long_ road trip home next week."

"Still no luck convincing him to fly out, huh?" Emma asked, taking a sip of her tea.

I shook my head and sighed. "He's turned into this massive papabear, and no matter how many times the doctor has assured him that I'm safe to travel, he won't put his pregnant wife on an airplane. Plus the tickets for this time of year are outrageous, so it actually is cheaper to drive, but it's going to seem like forever to get to Forks."

"You'll be fine. Just remember the crackers and ginger ale," Emma replied with a grin and I visibly shuddered.

I didn't like ginger ale _before_ I'd gotten pregnant, like when my father used to give it to me as a kid whenever I'd gotten sick. The taste of it really disgusted me, but damn if it worked to settle my stomach, and still did. Though I didn't know if it would have any effect with what I'd be facing the following week.

My dad was slowly coming around to the idea of becoming a grandfather, even though the twins were just about nine months old and running him more ragged by the day. He and Edward had another man-to-man talk just after Thanksgiving and the tension between them had seemed to significantly decrease after that. However, I knew that he was still waiting to see me to be sure that I was really okay with Edward's reenlistment, even though I'd called him the week before to assure him of it after watching my husband swear in once again. And Sue had done her best to keep him calm about it as well, understanding all too well how a surprise pregnancy can really alter one's plans for the future, but how amazing things can turn out afterward.

My in-laws, on the other hand, were an entirely different story. They were actually very excited for the arrival of our baby, if not a little stunned by the fact that we would be fulfilling it before Emmett and Rose. Since his retirement from the Army himself and his subsequent battle and recovery from cancer, he and Esme had been anxious to start living out what they considered one of the best times of their lives; growing old together, seeing both their boys happily married, and looking forward to filling their home with pictures of their grandchildren and spoiling them rotten.

Then there was my brother- and sister-in-law. Emmett had offered the both of us a heartfelt congratulations and beamed over the idea of becoming a biological uncle, even though he adored Sarahlynn more than any uncle by blood ever could. His baby brother becoming a father was a big deal to Emmett, and he was genuinely excited for us. To her credit, Rosalie really tried to put on her best poker face, and there was no doubt in my mind that deep down, she _was_ happy for us. Yet, as with any woman trying unsuccessfully to conceive, I could hear the heartbreak in her voice when I spoke to her and things had been slightly strained between us since. It hurt a little, but I understood completely and hoped that she would feel a little better by the time we got back to Forks. I didn't want to upset her more, especially since I was starting to show.

Jasper had been having the time of his life teasing Edward with his "I told you so" jabs, but still conferring onto him all the joys of fatherhood. Meanwhile, Alice couldn't wait to go out baby shopping with me and had already been boxing up some of Sarahlynn's old toys, car seat, and clothes that her daughter had outgrown or never even used, since she'd been sure that she was having a boy. None of them were _too_ masculine, but both she and Jasper liked dressing her in pink and frills. My only worry about seeing them again was how much weight we'd be carrying home with us in the back seat of my car.

"Like we've all told you, it will all be worth it the second you hold that little baby in your arms for the first time," Emma said, obviously noticing my drifting thoughts. "And the moment you see your husband holding your child, there's not much in the world that beats that."

I looked over my shoulder and saw Edward bouncing little Sammy on his lap and making the one year old shriek with giggles, and I couldn't help but smile. "Yeah, he's going to be a great dad."

**x-x-x**

"Edward, you need to pull over again," I said, leaning my head back against the rest.

"Again? We just stopped thirty miles ago," Edward answered with a sigh, turning the signal on to change lanes.

"_That_ was to pee. This time, not so much," I replied, my eyes closed as I attempted to breathe evenly to keep myself from spilling the contents of my stomach all over the car. "It was your idea to drive and I don't have the option of peeing in a bottle and you really don't want to deal with vomit smell in the car all the way to Forks, right?"

Edward took my hand and smiled sympathetically as he pulled onto the off ramp, and we'd barely made it to a McDonald's parking lot before I opened the door in time to vomit right outside it. I was so embarrassed that I wanted to hide in the back seat when one of the employees came over, dragging a sweeper broom and carrying a cup of water for me in his other hand. My husband had come around to my side of the car, and once the mess had been cleared away, crouched down beside me and held the cup for me while I started to cry. "Hey, calm down, baby. It's all right."

"No, it's not. The whole restaurant just saw me throw up and we're not even through Wisconsin yet, and Pennsylvania was bad enough, and that damn _blink_ we were in Illinois. No, I couldn't even manage to keep my cookies down there, either. It's humiliating, Edward," I sobbed hysterically, and even I knew I sounded a little bit on the crazy side at that moment, but pregnancy was _not_ my friend right then. "You were right, I know you were. If I can't handle the motion sickness from a car, I wouldn't have done well on a plane, either. But God, baby, this really is so embarrassing."

I felt Edward's lips press against my temple and I lowered my head to his shoulder, and his arms wrapped around me. "And like I said in Pennsylvania and Illinois, the likelihood of you ever seeing any one of these people again in your lifetime is like one in a billion. So even if you got out and waved your arms around and maybe even did some hand springs, it wouldn't matter. You want me to walk you to the bathroom to brush your teeth?"

I nodded against him and he slowly pulled back to help me out of the car, even carrying my purse in his hand as I walked beside him with my head down. I knew I wasn't the first woman to ever get motion sickness while pregnant, but in the moment, it always feels that way when you're avoiding stares and even sympathetic whispers when they spotted my stomach as my shirt tugged in just the right way. I hurried through brushing my teeth as quickly as I could to get out of there and back on the road, anxious as hell to get to Forks and rest.

For the remainder of the trip, I religiously nibbled on saltines and sipped at the ginger ale, even when it was my turn to drive, trying to ward off as many side trips as I possibly could. Luckily, we only had two more instances and one was about three miles from Forks.

Needless to say, I was in desperate need of a shower once we reached the Cullen's house, before I could even hug anyone. Thankfully, his parents understood, but by the time I came back downstairs, Emmett and Rosalie had arrived from picking up Grandma Platt from the airport. My sister-in-law sincerely tried to mask the tears in her eyes when she greeted me, but needed to excuse herself shortly thereafter to the bathroom. The last thing I wanted to do was upset her, so we decided to head over to my father's house to visit with him, Sue and the boys for a while before dinner.

"Emmett's tests came back. They won't be having a baby the old-fashioned way," Edward said suddenly, more than halfway through the drive, his body tense.

"Oh no. He's infertile?" I asked with my hand rising to my mouth and Edward nodded slowly, and I sighed. I knew it was the only option left, since her results had come back perfectly normal, but it was still heartbreaking to hear. "No wonder she can't stand the sight of me."

"Bella, you know that's not true. Rosalie loves you. They just got the news two days ago. She's still coming to terms with it and a little upset with Emmett because he would rather go the route of adoption than to ask his brother to donate sperm," Edward said uncomfortably, his hands wringing around the steering wheel and his gaze fixed forward.

My eyes widened and I turned to face him more fully as he pulled into my father's driveway. "Wait a second. My sister-in-law wants to have my husband's baby?"

Edward took my hand and sighed, looking over at me finally. "Baby, don't be upset with her. She's not thinking straight right now. Emmett isn't comfortable with it and neither am I. She wants to have Emmett's baby and can't. And whether they went through adoption or a random sperm donor, it still wouldn't be his."

"Well, neither would _yours_," I gasped, still in complete disbelief.

"It would be a Cullen, with a similar genetic make-up as her husband, and obviously, I'm fertile since I already made a baby," Edward replied and squeezed my hand gently when I stiffened, shaking his head. "Bella, Emmett and I have both said no, and even if I could have considered it for a moment, I couldn't do that to you. You're the only one I _ever_ want to have my babies. Just give her a little time to come to her senses."

I nodded, gazing down at his fingers splayed across the small bulge of my abdomen. I understood, really I did, but the thought of anyone other than myself, even someone I loved as much as I did Rosalie, carrying my husband's baby made me more than a little uneasy.

"Okay?" he asked when I didn't reply with words and I brought my hand to cover his, holding it protectively against my stomach. "Please don't be mad at her."

"I'm not," I whispered, shaking my head. "And I'll act as if I don't know anything. I know she doesn't actually want _your_ baby really, and wouldn't have even given it a thought under any other circumstances. And thank you for not keeping this from me."

"People know better than to tell me anything they never want you to know. I'm horrible at keeping secrets from you," Edward replied with a smile and leaned toward me to brush his lips on mine.

"Good. Now come on before my father wears a hole in the floor with his pacing," I said, chuckling softly and exiting the car. I knew my dad would've heard us pull in and was anxious to see me, even if he wasn't being obvious by looming in the doorway.

I was proven right when it swung open before I could knock and he stood there holding Aiden. "Hi, Daddy."

My father smiled and held one arm out for me, and I stepped into his embrace, hugging him tightly. "Hi, baby. Have a good trip?"

"Oh, you _really_ don't want to ask that," I answered with a shake of my head and pulled back to offer him a smile that seemed to soothe him slightly, and I turned my eyes to my brother. "Aiden. Hey there, buddy. Come here."

My dad's hold on the baby tightened a little when I reached for him, and I gazed at him in confusion. "You sure you're okay to pick him up? He's pretty heavy."

"Charlie, stop. She'll be fine to hold a nineteen pound baby," Sue said as she entered the room with a sleeping Adam on her shoulder. "He was the same way when I was pregnant. Even a gallon of milk sent him into a frenzy."

I laughed a little as she kissed my cheek and finally took Aiden into my arms. "Oh my, you are getting so big, little man. I've missed you."

"How can you tell the difference?" Edward asked, looking between the two babies after greeting my father. "They look so much alike now."

"Aiden is still a bit bigger and has more hair. And he has brown eyes, while Adam's are more hazel," I replied, gazing at Aiden and making him giggle with the higher pitch of my voice.

"Adam's eyes are closed," Edward pointed out and I gazed at him with a raised eyebrow. He laughed and placed his hand on my stomach, whispering, "Please be alone in there."

"That doesn't work, Edward. Trust me," my father added, shaking his head.

Sue and I laughed, both of us seemingly relieved that the tension we were anticipating between Edward and my father wasn't nearly as bad as we'd thought it would be. "Don't worry, Edward. Twins run in _my_ family."

"Bella's great-grandfather was a twin," my father said and my husband's wide eyes shot up to him.

"Dad, he was _not_, now stop it," I scolded him and felt Edward relax some beside me.

"I know. Just trying to get a rise out of your husband. You can't expect me to have _no_ fun with him, Bella," my dad smirked and began making his way to the kitchen. "Beer, Edward?"

My husband's eyes met mine questioningly and I nodded after my father. "Go ahead, it doesn't look like he's going to bite. Just relax."

"Yes, sir," Edward replied and followed his path down the hall.

The visit with my family was a lot more relaxed than anything I'd expected. My dad and Edward spent quite a while talking in the kitchen while Sue and I sat with the boys, but it wasn't long before we heard them laughing together. I was holding myself together well for a good two hours, even when I had to get up to use the bathroom a few times, until I watched Aiden crawling across the floor and I broke down in tears. He was getting so big, so fast, and even though my own baby was still months away from being born, I began imagining the first roll over, crawl, step, word…and I couldn't stop crying.

Edward came into the room with my father, his forehead etched in concern. "Bella? What's the matter?"

I felt his hand brush my hair back as he sat beside me, his eyes taking inventory of me. I pointed to Aiden, who was also looking at me as if I'd lost my mind, and a sob escaped me. "He _crawled_."

"Okay, baby. I think you are long overdue for a nap. We should probably head back to my parents," Edward said, stroking my back through my protests. "You've barely slept since yesterday, and we've still got over a week. We're not leaving tomorrow."

My father crouched in front of me with his hands on my knees. "He's right, honey. We'll still see you plenty and we were invited over to the Cullens' for Christmas. You need your rest."

I nodded reluctantly, kissing the top of Adam's head and then standing from the couch, saying goodbye to my dad and Sue. I pressed my lips to Aiden's forehead as well when my father lifted him into his arms and Edward guided me back out to the car. "God, when is this going to _stop_? This is so stupid! Crying over nothing. I can't even visit my family for a few hours without a crying jag."

Edward settled me into my seat and jogged around to get in himself. "You're just tired, baby. It's been a long couple of days. Don't be so hard on yourself."

We didn't even make it all the way to his parents' house before I cried myself to sleep and I woke up in a darkened room, in Edward's old bed. I was so comfortable that I didn't want to move, but my stomach actually rumbled with hunger rather than nausea, so I figured I probably should.

When I made it to the bottom of the stairs, I heard the entire family still gathered in the living room, and Edward immediately stood when I entered. He quietly inquired as to whether I was okay, since apparently, I'd been sleeping for more than seven hours, which was unheard of for me. Especially since becoming pregnant and during the day, at that.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Maybe we just need to bring that bed back home with us. I forgot how comfortable it is," I joked and stepped into his arms, resting my face against his chest. I barely caught Rosalie's eye across the room before her gaze lowered to her lap, and even saw the hint of color rise on her cheeks.

She knew I was aware of her request. Hello, awkward visit home.

**x-x-x**

Thankfully, it didn't turn out to be as bad as I'd feared it would. By the time Christmas Eve rolled around a couple of days later, she finally came to me and apologized for putting Edward and I on the spot that way. Even if I'd wanted to be mad at her, one look at her drawn features and bloodshot eyes would have broken me. She was literally devastated by the news they'd received, and I could see how much it hurt her when she placed her hand on my stomach.

"Well, I can still be a favorite aunt, right?" she said with a forced smile and I pulled her into a hug.

I really could not, and wouldn't ever desire to, imagine being in her position.

With the most difficult part of the visit behind us, we all seemed to focus on simply enjoying our time together, and even Alice and Jasper joined us. Sarahlynn hovered over the twins all Christmas Day, like a miniature mother, going so far as to shush the entire room when Adam fell asleep on the floor.

"Shhh. Baby seepin," she whispered before crawling into Uncle Edward's lap to do the same thing herself.

By the time we were getting ready to leave to head back to Virginia, I found myself feeling a whole lot better about leaving everyone behind that time. Carlisle and Esme were doing well. My dad and Sue were finally talking about getting married sometime in the following year. Emmett and Rosalie were making slow progress, but they were a great team together; they'd make it through the hurdle life had thrown them in time. And Alice and Jasper were … still Alice and Jasper, content just as they were in their life with their daughter.

Everyone near and dear to us were good, just as we were. I would miss them all and always be a little homesick. But Forks and everyone in it would always be there, no matter where Edward and I called home at any given time. And we could always come back anytime; no goodbye was forever there.


	24. All the Ups and Downs Along the Way

**A/N: I was meaning to do this earlier today, but I had no access to my computer, so that didn't work out quite as I had planned. As I mentioned in the author note for Hello Again, my intention was to complete this story and post the remainder of this story. My goal was Veteran's Day, but I'm still not **_**quite**_** done with the story. What I thought was the epilogue I mentioned in the aforementioned author note was two written chapters ago. Didn't quite pan out the way I had thought, and I am **_**now**_** working on the actual epilogue. Hopefully that will be done shortly and I will post the remaining chapters of the story in one fell swoop. **

**Thank you all so much for your patience, and of course, on this Veteran's Day, thank you to each and every man and woman who serve or have served in any branch of our military, and to their families as well. I always have and will have the utmost respect for you all, and you're dear to my heart every day of the year.**

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**Don't Ever Forget 24 ~ All the Ups and Downs Along the Way**

About halfway through my sixth month, I finally began to understand what Emma and some of the other women I'd talked to meant when they told me that their pregnancies were one of the best things they'd ever experienced. Once the nausea began lessening, I actually felt really great, and when the baby started moving more, there was a relief that washed over me I hadn't known I'd been waiting for. Edward and I would spend hours lying on our bed, watching the little bumps and rolls rise from my belly, and I couldn't remember ever seeing him so fascinated by anything in all the time we'd know each other.

Then, as I was approaching my thirtieth week, I was scheduled for another ultrasound, and he'd desperately wanted to be there with me, but couldn't get the time off from training. So I promised to give him a full report when he got home that night. He'd been anxious to find out what we were having, while I wasn't so sure that I wanted to know, and had actually been a bit grateful in the past when the baby never turned in a way that made it possible to determine the sex.

However, the instant that the technician told me that everything looked good and was measuring perfectly, but he could also tell me the sex, my curiosity finally got the better of me. I told him to type it on the printout to show Edward and seal it so that he and I could find out together. I'd be able to wait that long.

I _would_.

Yet, as I stood there in the kitchen later that afternoon baking cookies and setting the meat for dinner to marinate, my eyes locked on that envelope hanging on the refrigerator door by a magnet when I closed it. Part of me _did_ want to find out with him, while another wanted to see my husband's face when I told him whether we were having a boy or a girl.

In the end, my selfish side won out; I _wanted_ that. I convinced myself that he wouldn't mind me knowing first as I pulled the envelope from beneath the magnet and hurried over to sit on the couch. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, placing one hand on my stomach.

"Whichever you are, Mommy and Daddy love you," I whispered to our baby and then brought my gaze to the envelope again, sliding my finger beneath the seal. I growled in frustration when my shaking hands wouldn't allow me to open it delicately and finally ripped off the end.

Pulling out the blurry image of our baby, I held it in front of me and tears sprung to my eyes, but smiled broadly as I read that small printed word with a little arrow beside it.

Boy. We were having a _boy_. Edward had never stated a preference, but I could admit that I had really wanted a boy. To give my husband a son. A daddy's girl would have been amazing, and I'd even envisioned him with a daughter, doting on her as he did with Sarahlynn and spoiling her absolutely rotten. However, when I'd pictured him with a son, it held unique and special qualities of its own.

The pride in his eyes as he held a miniature version of himself. Teaching his little boy to run and play ball when he got old enough. The father-son camping trips where mommies were just not allowed. Creating the same memories with his son that he held himself of his own father in the times his dad was around. Carlisle had always made the most of the time he had with his boys while he was home, and it showed in how much both Emmett and Edward loved and respected their dad. And I knew my husband would learn well from that example and be the same, amazing father as the one he'd been blessed with.

For the first time in years, I actually burned a batch of cookies, lost as I was in my own thoughts, but surprisingly, I didn't care. I opened the window to air out the smell and threw them in the trash, barely noticing the cold air for outside, with a smile so wide, it hurt.

Edward and I were having a boy!

When he came home that night, he asked how everything went, and then froze when he saw the tears in my eyes.

"Bella? Is something wrong with the baby? Are _you_ okay?" he asked worriedly and made his way over to me.

"I'm fine. And he's perfect," I replied, my smile returning full force as I nodded over my shoulder to the fridge when his eyes immediately widened. I thought it would take a moment for him to catch on, but I should have known by then that there was very little I could slip past that husband of mine, especially when it came to our baby.

"We're having a boy?" he asked with a widening grin as he stared at the picture, but then turned his eyes to me. He took my face in his hands and pressed his lips firmly to mine, still tight from the intensity of his smile. "I made a son."

"Hey, I was involved, too, you know," I replied, jabbing him lightly in the abdomen with my knuckle.

"And if you're anything like my mother, any time our boy is in trouble, you will waste no time in reminding me that it was _my_ chromosome that determined the sex. So, I'm gonna get my gloating in now, while I can," he said with a laugh and I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help joining him as he wrapped his arms around me. His lips pressed to my hair and my fingers clung to the back of his shirt, both of us absorbing the moment. His body trembled slightly in my hold and I ran my hands slowly along his back, slightly worried. "I'm fine."

I lifted my head to look at him and he was pinching his eyes closed, moisture ringing them, and my heart started to pound. I brought my hand to his cheek and stroked it gently, pausing when his lips pressed to the heel of my palm. "Don't worry, I won't tell."

Edward opened his eyes to gaze at me and they were almost crystal green in color with the welling tears. "This definitely ranks up there with the best moments in my entire life. Thank you, baby."

"You're happy, then?" I asked, tugging lightly at my lip with my teeth. "You weren't hoping for a girl?"

"Baby, I wouldn't have been disappointed either way. But little girls are more likely to give their daddies grey hair early. A few more years to prepare for that might do _this_ daddy good," he teased, kissing me gently again.

**x-x-x**

Month eight was a bit more hectic. While I'd only gained twenty-one pounds by that point, everything seemed concentrated right around my middle. I was "all baby" as the girls enviously told me, but my hips hurt like crazy, and _no one _wanted to get me started on my breasts. Edward only had to _look_ at them and they would ache and throb; touching them was out of the question.

In the midst of all that, we received notice that we'd finally gotten our on-post housing. That meant moving and the packing that came along with it, at eight and a half months pregnant; not fun.

Aside from the bigger place and the extra half an hour or so of sleep I'd be able to get in the mornings, the only other upside to moving at that point was that I was within walking distance of Emma's, only a few doors down. And then, on one of our return trips to the new house with another load in the U-haul, we arrived to find a delivery truck parked outside.

"Isabella Cullen?" the burly man asked when I stepped out, as Edward and Riley immediately began unloading. I nodded and he handed me the device he held. "Sign here, please?"

I did as requested and then stepped away when he whipped open the back door of the large, white truck. An equally massive man joined him from the passenger side and they began pulling a large crate toward the waiting lift.

"Where would you like us to put it, ma'am?" he asked once they were on the ground.

"The bedroom, please. Down the hall, first door on the right," Edward said as he came back out, sliding his arm around me and kissing my temple.

"What did you do?" I asked, looking up at him suspiciously.

"_I_ did nothing," he replied, pointing to his chest with a smirk. "My parents just sent us a little housewarming present."

"You call that 'little'?" My eyes widened and I moved as quickly as I could toward the house, breathing a little hard by the time I reached the bedroom door. I patted my hands along the large crate, trying to figure out how to open it to see what was inside, and then the men returned, carrying a mattress with Edward and Riley right behind them with a box spring. "Oh my god. Is this what I think it is?"

"And I'm a little bitter, just so you know. I think my parents like you more than they like me," Edward replied with a nod, but immediately began laughing. "You said you liked it, baby."

Edward's bed from Forks. The mattress was like lying on a cloud and I slept better than I had in months over the week or so we'd spent on it over Christmas. And there it was, standing in our new bedroom.

I pulled off the plastic covering and swept my hand over the mattress, admiring the velvety softness beneath my fingers. Edward had replaced it himself not too long after we'd gotten together. He had complained that his previous one was older than he was, but I knew he'd done it so I would be more comfortable lying on it myself or sharing it with him.

I was the first and only woman to share that mattress with him.

"I can't believe they did this. It had to have cost a fortune to ship it out here. I was _kidding_," I said with my fingers covering my lips.

"They love you, Bella. They'll do anything to make you happy, but you never ask for much. So they were ecstatic for the unintentional bone you threw them with this. Just wait until EJ is born. You haven't seen anything yet," Edward replied with a chuckle and a gentle squeeze of my arm.

"I thought you hated the idea of a 'junior'?" I gasped, looking up at him in disbelief. We'd been seriously discussing names since we found out we were having a boy, and I had _really_ wanted to name our firstborn after his father. Edward had been pretty adamant thus far about not subjecting his son to a childhood of "Eds", "Eddies" and the relentless teasing of such an "old man's name", and hadn't shown any sign of giving up the fight before then.

But then again, neither had I. And I was determined to get my way on this, one way or another.

He shrugged slightly and I noticed the hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "It's kinda grown on me. EJ sounds pretty cool, actually."

"So, I guess this would be a bad time to tell you that I've been swaying toward Micah, right?" I teased and laughed when his palm came to his forehead with a sigh. "Edward? I'm kidding. My dad is right, you are _way_ too easy to get a rise out of. Now, I'm going to go call my mother-in-law and thank her while I watch you men unload and sweat."

Edward rolled his eyes as I pecked his lips and shuffled out of the room. "One of the few perks of being pregnant?"

"Yep, you betcha!" I called back shamelessly as I dug my phone out of my purse.

**x-x-x**

The final month was the worst, though not in the way I'd thought it would be. Sure, the last few pounds I'd gained made its mark on my discomfort level, and the renewed need to go to the bathroom every twenty or thirty minutes with the pressure on my bladder as well. Yet, what really got to me was the boredom.

Once everything was unpacked, the baby's room was set up, my hospital bag ready to go, and the car seat situated in the used SUV that Edward had traded in the car he bought in Maryland for, I had next to _nothing_ to do.

Being on my feet too long made my ankles swell, so too much time in the kitchen was out. I'd read all my baby and expectant parent books over the past few months, and aside from the occasional load of laundry, there was little housework for me to do.

So I took up crocheting and soap operas, and long conversations with my belly, telling him to finish growing, but _please_ make it quick.

Yup, Mom was losing her marbles.

My tune changed once again about two weeks before my due date. The girls assured me that what I was feeling was completely normal, especially for a first baby and not knowing what to expect, but I felt like a coward. The thought of labor and delivery scared me, and birth videos did not help with that at all.

"How am I supposed to push this big baby out of this?" I asked Edward one night, gesturing down to my body.

"Bella, the doctor said that he'll only weigh about seven pounds at most. He's not _too_ big," Edward said, trying to comfort me, and unfortunately, not doing so well.

"Do _you_ want to imagine pushing a seven pound baby out of a very small space in that area of _your_ body?" I retorted, causing him to wince and shift his hips back slightly. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

Edward leaned over to kiss my belly as he did every night before we went to sleep. "You won't hurt Mommy much, right? You don't want to be an only child, kiddo."

**x-x-x**

Emma threw me a surprise baby shower the following day, and it definitely _was_ a surprise. She wanted to wait until Esme arrived from Washington to spend the first few weeks with us once the baby came home, as well as Edward's grandmother. We were definitely going to have a full house for a while, but I knew that having them around for even that little bit of time would be invaluable. My friends were amazing and would be great support, but there was something to be said about the wisdom passed down from generation to generation. And I was really looking forward to that insight from my son's grandmother and great-grandmother.

The gathering of women was definitely bigger than I'd had at my bridal shower, but I also didn't feel the dread I had then in regards to gifts. Naturally, I didn't take into account the "after the baby" gifts for myself and Edward, but mostly, it _was_ all baby things.

Lots of packages of diapers and wipes, more onesies than I could ever imagine needing—although, I was assured I'd use every single one—a swing that played Winnie the Pooh, a beautiful stroller from Esme, blankets, outfits, shoes…I had no idea how I was going to get it all home. Or where I was going to put it all once I did.

And then, Grandma Platt set a box on my lap and smiled at me. "This was something I gave both my boys when they were little. Just continuing the tradition."

I pulled at the ribbon holding it closed and lifted the top, and I was speechless when I saw what was inside.

It was a tiny camouflage outfit that resembled his daddy's ACU, from the little patrol cap, the "Cullen" name patch across from the "US Army" on the jacket, right down to the tan combat boots. Lying beneath it was a frame with two pictures set on a mat, one of Emmett and one of Edward, each of them maybe a year or two old, in their father's arms and wearing matching uniforms. Even back then, Edward held himself a little straighter than Emmett had, already mirroring his father so much more than his carefree brother did. Beneath them was an empty spot, waiting for EJ's picture with _his_ daddy.

"Oh my God, this is precious," I said with a broad smile, lifting the tiny garments in my hands and gazing at them. I laid them over my stomach and Emma snapped a picture of me on my phone, and I texted it to Edward.

While we were starting to eat, he finally texted back with "Grandma strikes again, huh? :)"

**x-x-x**

"I thought first pregnancies tended to go early," I said during my daily walk with Emma two days before my due date, stroking my stomach. At my last doctor's appointment the previous Friday, I was told that I was starting to dilate and the baby was settled into my pelvis in proper position. So delivery could be at any time, I just wasn't contracting yet. I thought for sure that my water would break and we'd have our baby by the end of the weekend.

No such luck.

My doctor had suggested walks, but the only thing that gravity had its effect on was, once again, my need to use the bathroom—I _so_ wasn't going to miss that part of my pregnancy. I'd even gotten desperate enough to ask Edward to have sex with me to get things moving, as I'd read in a few of my books was nearly foolproof. However, making love in general had been uncomfortable for me for a while, and he didn't like the idea of causing me pain just to stimulate the greater one of labor. So walking and gravity it was, even if it was only back and forth between the two houses.

"He'll come when he's ready. Sammy was a few days late," Emma replied, linking her arm with mine.

"You're supposed to agree with me, Emma," I groaned, but then laughed and looked down to my tummy. "Don't listen to her. You want to come out and meet everyone, right? Yesterday wasn't our day, but today is. I have a good feeling about this. That and I _really_ need to pee again."

"Okay, almost there," Emma replied as we made our way up the front walk to me house and helped me to the bathroom.

Yet, when I sat down, nothing happened, until…

"Oh shit, Emma? Call Edward," I yelled at the door, my hand trembling as it rested on my stomach. "I'm pretty sure my water just broke."

**x-x-x**

"Okay, Bella. You are just about to ten, almost fully effaced, and the baby is starting to crown. We're going to be pushing here in a bit," the nurse told me as she finished examining me upon getting settled into my room.

My head shot up to look at her with widened eyes and shook it sharply. "What? No! My water _just_ broke. Labor is supposed to take hours."

"Honey, you've most likely _been_ in labor for hours," she replied, picking up the phone to page the doctor.

"No, I haven't felt anything all morning, until my water broke. I would have _felt_ contractions, wouldn't I? This can't be right," I protested, starting to cry as I looked up at Emma. "He's not here yet. I can't have this baby without him here. You called him, didn't you?"

"Bella, you were right there when I called him," Emma answered soothingly, running her hand over my hair. "And he's on his way. He'll be here, don't worry."

A contraction finally hit me right then that explained every single horror story ever known to womankind. It felt as if my child was literally trying to split me in half on his way out, and I swore I might have heard a couple of bones crack in Emma's hand from my grip.

"Where _is_ he?" I screamed out and looked over to the door as it opened, releasing a sob when it was my doctor and not my husband, barely able to answer his questions in my distress.

"Bella, look at me. Breathe. It's going to be okay. He'll get here," Emma said, drawing my attention to her by patting the back of my hand.

"All right, sweetie. We need to get you prepped. Your baby's head is right there. He's coming," my doctor said, barely making contact with the stool at my feet before rising again to get prepared himself.

"No, please. I need Edward," I cried as the nurse began propping up my legs; I couldn't believe that he was so close, but would still miss the birth of our first child. "It's not supposed to be this way."

"I'm sorry, Bella, but this little guy isn't waiting. I'm going to need you to push with this next contraction coming up," my doctor instructed gently, snapping his gloves on.

I pleadingly looked at Emma and she nodded, saying she would try Edward again as she stepped out into the hall, already dialing her phone. After a deep breath, I began to push as my doctor instructed, momentarily distracted from my thoughts as pain seared through me.

Even though it relented some when I stopped, I started sobbing again as I leaned my head back on the pillow. "Edward, where are you?"

"Emma, where is she?" I heard from outside the door a second before it burst open, and finally, there stood my husband, still in his uniform with cap in hand. I cried out his name and he hurried over to me, taking my hand and kissing my sweaty brow. "God, I'm so sorry, baby. I got here as fast as I could. I didn't think you'd be pushing already."

"Well, you can confer with your son about that in a few minutes. For all the taking his sweet time over the last few days, he's the one in a rush today," I replied tensely, feeling the buildup of another contraction begin.

Edward helped me to sit up again like the doctor requested, his arm wrapped securely around my back as I began to push again. "Oh my god."

"Don't do that when I'm mid-push, Edward," I ground out through clenched teeth, digging my nails into the back of the hand that held mine.

"I'm sorry, honey, but he's _right_ there," Edward whispered as I sunk back against his arm, pressing his lips to my hair. "And see, he's not even born yet and he's already _my_ son."

"Shut up," I replied with a laugh, far too relieved to actually have him there to bother screaming at him as I'd seen in countless birth videos and movie scenes. As much as it hurt and I really wanted him to come out already, the look I saw on Edward's face in between pushes as he watched me give birth to his son was priceless and something I would remember for the rest of my life. He wasn't pale or green, ready to throw up, pass out, or run from the room; he was amazed, mesmerized, if not a little bit nervous.

He was about to become a father, as I was about to become a mother.

"Okay, the head is out. One more good push should do it and you will have your son," the doctor announced and I gave a weak smile, trying to breathe through the pain. "You ready, Bella?"

I nodded and sat up again, gripping Edward's hand tightly and pinching my eyes closed. A loud groan escaped me until I finally felt our baby fall free from my body and lowered back onto the bed with Edward's lips pressed to my forehead.

Our son was placed on my stomach and my husband and I both looked down to gaze upon the beautiful child we created together as he cut the cord. A fine, silky layer of dark hair covered his head and his shuddering cry made his tiny rosebud shaped lips tremble. I reached down to run my fingertips over his cheek and I was so overwhelmed by the fact that we'd made such a perfect little boy.

EJ was pink and healthy, with an excellent pair of lungs on him. When they took him away to clean him up and weigh him, I began to cry harder. The love I already felt for our son throughout my pregnancy had grown immeasurably the instant I laid eyes on him and I never wanted to let him go, even for a moment. And when I finally looked up to my husband, I saw the same level of emotion coursing over his features as he gazed across the room at our baby.

"I love you," I whispered to him, brushing my lips against his jaw and he turned his head to look at me, kissing me firmly.

"I love you, too," he replied, resting his forehead against my hair. "So much, baby."

**x-x-x**

When Edward left to announce the birth of our son to everyone in the waiting room, I lay in bed holding EJ in my arms and watched him sleep. At just under seven pounds, he looked so tiny and fragile, his little palm barely more than the width of my thumb. I could not figure out whether he looked more like Edward or myself, although there were very defining features of the both of us in him. My nose, Edward's eyes, despite the blue color that I prayed would darken to the jade hue of his father's to match the long eyelashes he'd inherited from him as well, though much thinner as a newborn. My lips, his chin. My fingers, his ears. He was just absolutely perfect.

A knock came to my door and I looked over to find Edward standing there, with his mother, grandmother, and Emma visible right behind him. "Are you two ready for visitors?"

"Of course," I replied with a smile and shifted slightly, trying not to wake our sleeping baby, very unsuccessfully.

Yet, he didn't cry. He simply opened his eyes and wiggled a little, and gave a wide yawn.

"Oh my goodness, look at him. He's so beautiful," Esme cried as she gazed down at EJ, and looked back to Grandma Platt. "Mom, come here."

"Give an old lady a chance to waddle over," Grandma replied light-heartedly and shuffled over to stand beside my bed. "Well, aren't you just a little peanut. You look just like your daddy, sweetheart."

"Oh, I see plenty of Bella in him, too," Esme said, reaching out to touch his soft cheek.

"You want to hold him, Grandma?" Edward asked and the older woman's face lit up with her nod as she settled into the chair behind her. He gently lifted EJ from my arms and I couldn't help but smile when his own features shifted, his eyes bright as he spoke softly. "Edward Anthony Cullen, Jr., meet your great-grandma."

Tears filled Grandma Platt's eyes as he laid the baby in her arms and she cradled them around him. "I can't believe I'm holding my great-grandbaby. Oh, life is good."

Emma approached me, giving me a gentle hug and then turning to do the same to Edward. "Congratulations, you guys. He's gorgeous."

"Thank you," we both answered at the same time and I asked, "Where's Riley?"

"He's picking up Sammy from Carol's. They should be here soon," Emma replied, her gaze returning to EJ.

"Good. She's gotta come meet her future husband," Edward teased and she elbowed his arm with a laugh.

"Edward, he's not even a full two hours old and you're already trying to set him up?" I groaned, rolling my eyes.

"He's a Cullen. He's going to be a little heartbreaker, aren't you, darling boy?" Grandma Platt cooed at him, and Esme and I shared a look.

Oh yeah, we were all in trouble.


	25. Moments

**A/N: So I believe I wrote the last words of this story this morning after a very long day of watching all five Twilight films for the last time on the big screen yesterday. *sobs* Thank goodness I had ericastwilight there to keep me calm lol. We are both still exhausted, even though that didn't stop us from going to see BD2 again today. Loved it so much. :)**

**So hopefully once we are both more rested and can get to a final runthrough of the remainder of the chapters, I will be getting this story updated and completed. **

**Thank you all for the years of support you have given me here on this story. I very much appreciate it.**

* * *

**Don't Ever Forget 25 ~ Moments  
**

For the most part, I measured time like any other soldier, but in the days following the birth of my son, that changed. Time was remembered by moments.

The cry following his first breath that took my own away.

Touching my little boy's tiny hand and watching it flex for the first time.

Watching him nurse at his mother's breast, as she nuzzled her nose against his cheek like he was the most important thing in her world.

The first time I looked into those eyes of his and feeling that unique bond form between a man and his son, as if it was a palpable, touchable thing.

Becoming a father was both the best and most terrifying thing that had ever happened to me. The instant EJ was born and I looked down at our tiny baby lying on my wife's stomach, a myriad of emotions flooded through me all at once.

Awe that I had created part of this beautiful little boy with my amazing wife.

Relief that both mother and child were perfect and healthy, erasing any worry I'd been harboring for months that something would go wrong and I'd lose one or both of them.

And then came the fear.

Would I be a good father? Did I have what it took to be both a daddy and a husband? What if I held him too tight, fed him too much or too little, or dropped him? Or he was crying because something was wrong and I couldn't figure it out? All the things I hadn't thought much on while Bella was pregnant hit me full force as I gazed down at my son, living, breathing, and kicking right in front of me.

Everything had happened so fast that day. I'd kissed Bella goodbye before I left, and she'd shown no sign that anything would happen that day, and even tried to convince me one last time to make love to her. I felt bad for saying no, but the thought of something so intimate between us causing such discomfort for her just didn't sit right with me and made it nearly impossible to rise to the occasion, so to speak.

Then, just after lunch, I got that call from Emma telling me that she was on her way to the hospital with Bella; her water broke. I tried to remain calm, and luckily, it didn't take me long to be dismissed for the day, and I called my mother on the way out to the car. She and my grandmother had stayed behind while Emma left with Bella, gathering a few last minute things, and I thought I would have plenty of time to swing by and pick them up before heading to the hospital.

As I was pulling into the parking lot, my phone started to ring again and it was Emma. My heart leapt into my throat; something was wrong.

"Edward, where the hell are you? Bella is crowning and about to start pushing," she said frantically. "She's freaking out a bit that you aren't here yet."

"Shit. I'm right outside. I just need to park," I replied and relayed the message to my mother and grandmother, feeling a hint of my own panic rise as I gazed out at the jam-packed parking lot. "What is every woman in Virginia giving birth today?"

"Edward, just pull up to the entrance and get up there. I will park," my mom said and I did as instructed, brushing a kiss on her cheek at the front of the car in passing with a thank you, and ran as fast as I could into the hospital.

All the way up to the maternity ward, my mind was racing. I was about to become a father, and I was going to miss it. Bella was up there giving birth to our son, scared and alone, with the exception of Emma, but it should have been _me_ up there. Then I spotted her in the hallway, and I felt my heart crumble.

I'd missed it.

Emma pointed to the door beside her at my request and I threw it open, my eyes landing on my wife as she softly cried my name. The baby hadn't arrived yet; I'd made it.

I thought I would have been one of those fathers that watched their child coming into the world and fought the urge to hit the floor, yet it was one of the most fascinating things I'd ever witnessed. At the first sight of that little face, I was a goner, and before I knew it, there he was. I cut the cord connecting him to Bella, but quickly brought my eyes back to him. I'd never felt such an instantaneous burst of love for anyone in my entire life as I did for my son right then and there. And I fell even more in love with my wife once again, when I didn't think I could.

My Bella. My beautiful wife. The mother of my child.

Neither of us had much of a chance to hold our baby after he was born, especially once we brought him home. My mother and grandma doted on him constantly and they both snapped endless pictures of him to send everyone back home, to the point I was afraid he would go blind before he could even properly see.

At night, after everyone had turned in, I would sit at the end of the bed and stare at him. What had once seemed like such a small bassinette now looked enormous with his tiny form inside. I would wait until he stirred for his midnight feeding and carry him from the room before his cries woke Bella, give him his bottle and check his diaper, and then finally head to bed myself.

The exhaustion that came along with having a brand new baby was totally made worth it when I would come home every night and see his little face looking back at me, and Bella's beautiful and proud smile.

When my mother and grandmother returned home after three weeks of staying with us, I was both relieved and nervous. I was grateful to them for coming out to help us and would miss them a lot, but I was also looking forward to the time with just my new little family as well. However, it was just me and Bella alone for the first time since our son was born, and we needed to adjust to the routine of splitting duties just between the two of us.

Bella would be fine, I knew that. She was an excellent mother that seemed to know exactly what to do pretty much all the time, just by gut and instinct. Everything else, she'd learned well from observing and asking questions of my mom and grandma.

Me? I was still clueless about half the time and I was the king of trial and error the remainder of it.

Just when I thought I'd gotten the hang of changing diapers when he was just over a month old, I received my first shower compliments of my son. By the eighth or ninth attempt at dodging that precision stream of his, I began to believe that either Bella had some super stealth method to this or my kid had it out for me, as it _never_ happened to her.

At six weeks, I finally relented, swallowing my pride and asking Bella about it.

"Baby, you have to keep him covered until you have the clean diaper ready. Especially with the air conditioner on now. Cool air hits down there and it's like Old Faithful," she replied, trying to hide her smirk. "I _told_ you to read the books."

"A _book_ actually says that?" I asked with wide eyes.

"Well, not exactly that, but the same general idea," she said, laughing at me as she shook her head and left the room.

I looked down at my son, lying on the towel next to me on the couch, with a clean diaper and wipes right beside him. I narrowed my eyes at him playfully and I swore he laughed at me, kicking his legs excitedly. Bella swore that wouldn't come for a while, and I assured her that she was _wrong_. "I see that look in your eye, son. We are _both_ going to be dry by the end of this, deal?"

I heard Bella's sigh from the kitchen, but I began unfolding the clean diaper with a raised eyebrow, never taking my gaze off of him.

"I'm watching you, kiddo. Don't get any ideas," I said, bringing my fingers to the first tab and pulling it loose, and he shrieked. "See, Bella! I told you, he's laughing at me. He _knows_."

"Edward, just stop and do what I said," Bella groaned, coming to the doorway and watching me with a hand on her hip. "It's a tried and true method."

After giving EJ my best Robert Deniro, "Meet the Parents" impression, only succeeding in making those little feet kick faster, I removed the other tab and lowered the front of the diaper.

"Edward, wat—" Bella started, covering her mouth as our son signaled his intent to pee, and I quickly covered him back over.

"Ha! Foiled your plans, little man," I said, leaning forward to brush my nose on his, making him blink and scrunch his face in response. After checking to make sure he was done, I grabbed the wipe and cleaned him as fast as I could, and got the new diaper on.

"See? _I_ told _you_," Bella said from her stance beside me, having crossed the room in the meantime.

I looked up to her and she bent at the waist to kiss me, clicking her tongue at our son playfully and tickling his neck as she passed us again. He began breathing faster in excitement with the attention from her and the sound of his mother's voice, and his little mouth opened and closed in quick succession. I lifted him from the couch and held him up in front of me, and the most adorable grin spread across his face with his little tongue poking out between them.

"Oh yeah, you've been busted, buddy. You see your mom and you start smacking your lips." I laughed and then lowered him to my chest, covering him with the blanket hanging over the arm of the couch. I pressed my lips to the top of his head as his little body nestled against me and whispered. "Can't say that I blame you, kid. So do I, though definitely for other reasons. But the doctor says I have to wait at least another week."

"Edward!" Bella called out in a shrill voice from the next room. "You will _not_ say those things to our baby!"

Despite the swift and easy delivery of our son, Bella had experienced some tearing that was not recovering quite as quickly as her doctor would have liked. So the "after the birth drought" was still on, in addition to the one _before_ it, and my manly goods were in agony.

No amount of showers and alone time with myself could take the place of a touch from my wife. However, between the tenderness of her breasts from nursing, the exhaustion of being a new mother, and our son's presence in the bassinette beside the bed, it was very difficult to get Bella in the mood for much of anything intimate. The one time I actually felt her touch me beneath the fabric of my sleep pants, EJ had woken up and begun to cry, not settling down again for over an hour. By the time Bella returned to bed, we both had to get to sleep, so we merely kissed goodnight.

"Ten weeks, baby," I replied softly against my son's hair. "There's gotta be a medal for that or something."

"You really are such a man sometimes," Bella answered with a chuckle as she entered the room again, reaching out to take EJ. "I'm going to get him down for the night. Your dinner is on the table."

"Goodnight, buddy," I whispered and brushed my lips on his cheek as she lifted him into her arms. Standing quickly, I tugged the back of her shirt as she began to walk away and kissed her when she turned her head to look back at me. "I'm kidding."

Bella laughed softly and shook her head. "No, you're not."

"Okay, maybe. But not completely serious, either," I replied with a small sigh.

"Much better. Now, go eat," Bella said, patting my cheek gently before returning her hand to the baby and walking down the hall with him.

After dinner, I sat down on the couch to watch television while I waited for Bella to get him settled for the night before turning in myself. The soft baby gurgles slowly began to quiet and I'd even begun to drift off a bit, my head leaned back and my eyes closed.

"Not passing out on me, are you, soldier?" I heard Bella's soft voice as she entered the living room.

I shook my head slowly in response. "Nope. Just resting my eyes, I swear."

"Good," she murmured and I finally opened my eyes, watching her as she lowered into my lap in nothing but a silk bathrobe. Her lips met mine sensually and I groaned, wrapping my arms around her waist and whimpering as her hip pressed against my groin.

"Baby, we can't. Your doctor said no," I said, swallowing hard and willing away the beginnings of a throbbing erection.

"He said no sex," she whispered against my lips, sucking lightly at my bottom one. "He said nothing about taking a shower with my husband."

My mouth opened in surprise and I moaned as she sealed hers over it, her tongue gliding along mine once before pulling away. My fingers curled around her hip and my lips followed hers, seeking that contact again. Like any other red-blooded, married man that was very much in love with his wife, I had missed having sex with her…badly. Yet, I also wasn't ashamed to admit that I missed the intimacy with Bella as well, the connection of more than just our bodies. Feeling that closeness of my wife in my arms, her skin against mine, kissing her, touching her—I needed _that_ more than anything. "Baby?"

"Monitor," she finished, waving the device already in one hand and rising from my lap, weaving the fingers of her other between mine. "Come on, before he wakes up."

I stood to join her and her hands began making work on my belt, tugging me backward down the hall with her, as if I really needed convincing.

After lifting my shirt from my body, I took her face between my hands and sealed my lips over hers as she slid my pants over my hips.

Bella pushed the door closed behind us and set the monitor on the edge of the sink, reaching over to turn on the shower and ridding me of my boxers as well. "Get in."

I stepped under the spray and reached out for her, causing her to laugh and tell me to wait. "Baby, the water will get cold and EJ is going to wake up."

Bella took a deep breath and nodded, gazing at me nervously as if she'd just realized the flaw in her plan—I had yet to see my wife naked since she gave birth to our son. Her eyes lowered to the floor as she tugged at the belt of her robe, closing them when she slid the fabric from her shoulders to pool at her feet.

With her hesitant steps, I ran my own eyes over her and swallowed hard. She _did_ look different; softer, fuller, even with the minimal weight she'd gained throughout her pregnancy. She was a mother. That amazing body had given me the most beautiful gift anyone ever had. I took her hand and guided her into the shower with me, sliding the curtain closed and blocking out the rest of the world for just a few minutes.

"You're so fucking beautiful, Bella. I love you," I whispered, cupping her cheek and kissing her passionately, her arms wrapping tightly around me.

I did. God, I loved the woman in my arms so damn much, it hurt. And I was completely happy just to stand there, holding and kissing her, feeling the strands of her hair dampen between my fingers and her hands running over my back.

However, my wife had other ideas.

Bella's tongue flicked against my lower lip and I opened my eyes to find hers already staring back at me. A small grin made its way to her features and her fingers slid between us, encircling my length, and a long shuddering breath escaped me. "I've missed you, Edward."

Her whispered words brought my gaze back to hers, despite the sensations coursing through my body at her touch. There was a look in her eyes that went far beyond physical need. We'd always been so close, so intimate even without sexual acts. Her pregnancy and the subsequent birth of our son had shifted that slightly. We both loved our child to the ends of the earth, and so much attention had been centered on him in the past six weeks since he'd been born, we'd had very little time to focus on each other.

The moment we were sharing right then had next to nothing to do with her hand around me, stroking me, or even when she lowered to her knees to take me into her mouth. It wasn't about us as parents; we were finding Edward and Bella again.

And that, we did. Even after I'd reached physical release, I helped her to her feet and held her under the pulsing spray until the water ran cold and our son called us back to the world outside.

"Bella?" I called out to her as she grabbed the monitor on her way to the door, securing a towel around my waist and stepping toward her. She gazed at me questioningly and I brought my hand to her face, kissing her gently. "I've missed you, too."

**x-x-x**

Watching our son grow over the passing weeks was nothing short of amazing. Each day, I would come home and he would seem to be doing something new and different, and becoming more animated by the minute.

Bella, on the other hand, was becoming noticeably more restless by the middle of July. EJ had just reached his second month, and even when we were alone in the evenings, she appeared distracted and never truly there with me. It seemed like I was losing my wife a little bit at a time, and it scared me.

Then one night, we were sitting on the couch with her head resting on my shoulder while watching a movie when she suddenly sat up beside me. She fiddled with her fingers in her lap with her eyes lowered, but then suddenly reached for the remote on the coffee table and clicked the television off.

"Edward, we need to talk," Bella said as she shifted on the cushion to face me, resting her arm along the back of the couch and propping her head on her hand.

I held my breath and nodded, folding my arms over my chest and turning toward her in preparation for whatever it was that she was about to say. "Okay. Is something wrong?"

Bella shook her head while never lifting her eyes. "No. I mean, I don't think so. Well, I know I said that any decision that affected us as a family needed to be _made_ as a family from now on. And I haven't really made one yet, but I've been looking and I want to talk about it."

My throat began constricting and I reached over to take her hand. "All right. If nothing is wrong, can you please look at me? It seems like you're trying to find a way to tell me some _really_ bad news."

Bella finally met my gaze with hers, squeezing my hand gently and offering me a small smile. "No, it's nothing bad. I've just been looking into some things and I'm not sure how you're going to feel about it right now. Especially with the new baby and all."

"Just talk to me, baby," I said softly, tucking her hair behind her ear. "You can tell me anything. You know that."

Bella nodded and ran her tongue over her lips, taking a deep breath and steadying herself. "I've been looking online about going back to school. Don't get me wrong, I love being your wife, and becoming a mother has been an experience that I never imagined I would enjoy this much. Or that I would even be any good at it. And I feel horrible for saying this, but that's not _all_ I want to be. Before you reenlisted and we had EJ, it was different. I figured I would just wait until you were done and we went home before I thought about school. It seemed to make sense to wait. But things have changed considerably since then, obviously."

"It's not horrible at all, Bella. So you want to go back to school, what is wrong with that? Honestly, there are a lot worse things you could be looking into online," I replied in a teasing tone, raising my eyebrow at her.

"Okay, I don't even _want_ to imagine where your mind went with that, just by that expression on your face," Bella said with a roll of her eyes, but the tension in her features began visibly lessening. "It's too late to think about this semester. And EJ is still so little and with me breastfeeding, it might make going to school, homework and studying a little difficult right _now_, but I'd like to look into the spring semester. He should be starting solids and everything by then, and make things a little easier to split things up between the two of us. I won't be looking at a full course load or anything, but a few core classes. And I could get financial aid, I've been looking into several options online, both government and military."

"Baby, you don't have to sell me on this. You want to go back to school, then go. Even if you wanted to go back _now_, I'd be fine with that. We'd figure out a way to make it happen," I replied, running my fingers over the back of her hand. "And actually, it's a bit of a relief. You've been so quiet lately, and I'd be lying if I said I haven't been a little worried. I want you to be happy, Bella."

Bella smiled and leaned toward me, brushing her lips on mine. "I _am_ happy, Edward. I'm sorry I worried you, I just had a lot on my mind. I know some of the other husbands don't really like the idea of their wives having careers, especially once kids come along. And I don't want to sound ungrateful for you or our son. But I can't see myself just being a homemaker for the rest of my life. That's not what I want."

"You know I'm not one of those husbands. Whatever it is that you _do _want, whether it's school or a job, or even if you did want to stay home with our kid, I'm not going to sit here and ask you to stand behind me if I'm not willing to do this same for you," I said, wrapping my arm around her shoulders.

"I'm glad you said that," Bella replied, lowering her eyes again and taking another deep breath before looking back to me again. "Because I'd like to go to work in another month or so. Nothing full-time that would take me away from the baby or you too much, just a few hours, a couple days a week. Not that I don't think you can provide for us, I just want to contribute and do my part for this family. And it would be really good for _me_ as well. After almost two years, I'm going more than a little stir-crazy."

My eyebrows rose and I began nodding my head. "You want to work? Already?"

"Edward," Bella growled, breathing in deeply through her nose. "You _just_ said you were okay with it, so don't you start backtracking now th—"

I cut her off by pressing my lips to hers and she groaned in frustration, lightly slapping my back as she wrapped her arm around me. I lowered her back to lie on the couch, settling my body on top of hers and feeling her hands clench tightly on my shirt. "And you say _I'm_ way too easy to rile up. If you're ready to go to work, baby, and that's what you _want_, then do it. I'm sure between you, me, and your friends, we can figure everything out with EJ."

Bella's lips tightened and her nose crinkled at the bridge, raising her fist between us, and I could only laugh at how adorable she looked. "There are times I really, _really_ hate you. You can be such a jerk sometimes."

"I know," I whispered, smirking slightly before meeting her mouth with mine again and groaning as I felt her hands run down my back and into the back pockets of my jeans. "How long has the baby been asleep?"

Bella smiled against my lips and pulled my hips forward, grinding them against her. "About an hour."

I cleared my throat and rocked my body over hers in response, moaning softly with the motion. "Do you think we have time to…?"

"Oh, I definitely think we have time to," she whispered, sliding her hands up my back again, beneath my shirt.

Since she'd gotten her clearance from the doctor about a week before, we had only managed to make love once. It was rushed and desperate after so long without each other, and over way too soon. Yet, before we could make another attempt, EJ had woken up, so sex was off the table. Since then, between the exhaustion from my day when I got home from work, and Bella being worn out from hers, our son's irregular sleep pattern of late, and barely kissing goodnight before our heads hit the pillow most nights, we hadn't found the opportunity again.

However, it was Saturday. She took the night shift feedings and wakings while I slept, and I'd handled the daytime ones while she napped that afternoon. We were both slightly more rested than usual, and from the feel of her arching beneath me and pressing her body to mine, she needed me just as badly as I needed her.

Bella clamped her legs around my hips as I attempted to rise, pulling me back to her. "You're wasting precious seconds."

I groaned at her words and kissed her heatedly as she began sliding my shirt up my back. "Here?"

"Well, we haven't had the chance to christen _this_ living room, now have we? And EJ will eventually gain mobility, so we should take advantage of no walk-in interruptions while we can, especially during couch sex," Bella whispered huskily against my lips discarding my shirt to the floor beside us.

"Oh shit," I rasped with a heavy exhale, instantly feeling the strain against my jeans as I glided my hand along her side to lift her nightshirt up her body. I kissed along her sternum as she pulled it over her head and then sat back on my calves, gazing down at my beautiful wife.

Bella wriggled impatiently as I slowly guided her underwear over her hips and down her legs, and then stood to divest myself of my jeans and boxers. She reached out for my hand, encouraging me to come back to her, which I did after a soft kiss to her hip bone, and with her other, she sought out my length between us. Wrapping her fingers around me, she traced my tip along her warm, soft skin, and we both echoed each other's moans at the intense sensation it stirred within each of us before positioning me against her. "I need you so bad, baby."

I watched her face as I pressed inside her, the way her forehead creased and her eyes pinched closed, adjusting to the feel of our bodies joining again. "Doing okay?"

Bella nodded, tracing her fingertips along my biceps and opening her eyes to gaze up at me. "Oh yeah, I'm great."

Her answering smile was reassuring as was her soft, contented sigh when our lips met. Her eyes opened and looked up at me, and her hands curled around my shoulders. "I love you so much, baby."

"I love you, too," she whispered, brushing my lips with a gentle kiss and lifting her hips from the couch to mine in silent request.

I began to move inside her and rested my forehead on hers, losing myself in the feel of her around me and taking in every second of that time. Her fingertips pressed into my skin more with each thrust, followed by the grunts of pleasure I had missed so much. Bella was still so intoxicating when we made love; having a baby hadn't changed that at all.

Bella clenched around me and I sucked in a sharp breath, groaning as she dragged her nails down my back. The sudden pinch of them on my ass caused my eyes to tighten and my lips to press to her brow when she began guiding me in and out of her more quickly. "Please, Edward. I'm so close and it's been too long. I need it."

Lifting up on my elbow, I angled my hips to drive into her deeper and brought my other hand between us to massage her just above where we were joined. A guttural groan escaped her and her arms rose to grip the arm of the couch above her head, arching her back as her toes dug into my calves. She began verbally coaxing on her orgasm through clenched teeth, and then her eyes flew open and rolled back with a string of profanities leaving her. My hand moved to grip her hip as she slowly relaxed afterward and my lips met hers fiercely, feeling my own creeping up quickly.

Bella's fingertips gripped my shoulders and her legs wrapped around me as my pace intensified, stilling when I finally released inside her. She whimpered as I settled on top of her, wincing slightly when my chest met hers. "Just a little tender from earlier, baby. That's all."

I shifted my body off her to lie between her and the couch, wrapping my arms around her with the quilt from above us and kissing her neck. She snuggled back into my embrace, her fingertips running over the back of my hand resting on her abdomen as I whispered in her ear. "It's a good thing we _did_ stay out here. That mouth of yours is definitely inappropriate for such innocent ears."

Bella laughed, weaving her fingers between mine and turning her head to meet my lips with hers. "Well then it's a good thing those ears will be in their own room soon. But it's all your fault, you know."

"Oh really?" I replied, quirking an eyebrow at her. "And how do you figure that?"

"I was completely sweet and innocent until you corrupted me with this body of yours," she quipped with a smirk against my lips, shifting her hips back into me. "You thoroughly ruined me."

I chuckled, gripping her hand with mine and kissing along her cheek to her ear. "I didn't hear you complaining. In fact, I seem to remember the corruption being invited by a certain young lady climbing into my bed that night."

"A girl knows a good thing when she sees it," she whispered, sliding her fingers from between mine to trace along the back of my neck. "Never said I was complaining. I'm still so glad it was you, and only you."

"Even when I'm a jerk?" I murmured against her hair, flattening my palm over her stomach.

"Yeah, even then. As long as you don't make a habit of it," Bella replied with a giggle. "I'm looking forward to enjoying this body and the incredible man attached to it for a good long time."

I hummed softly as I kissed down her neck and sucked lightly at her collarbone, enjoying the feel of her bare skin beneath my touch. "Think I can corrupt you one last time before bed?"

"As much as I would love to say yes, I'm sure someone will have an objection to that very soon, and we'd have to stop. Don't think he would be so understanding that Mommy is busy being ravaged by Daddy," she mumbled against my temple, pressing her lips to it softly. "Could you just hold me for a while instead?"

I lifted my head, noticing the dip in her voice and saw a tear slip from the corner of her eye. "Bella?"

"I'm fine. Really. I don't know why I'm still doing this. You'd think my hormones would have regulated by now and I'd stop crying over _nothing_," Bella answered with a frustrated sigh, brushing her fingers over her cheek. "This is one thing that makes me glad that we won't be having another baby for at _least_ five more years."

I tightened my arms around her and nestled my face into her neck. Shortly after EJ's birth, we began discussing birth control options with her doctor. As much as we loved our son, we both agreed that we didn't wish to add to our family again for a few more years, preferably after he started kindergarten. We didn't want to return to the pill since she'd gotten pregnant on one anyway, and none of the other conventional methods seemed to appeal to either of us much, so we opted for the IUD.

However, that was the first mention that she was actually relieved that we weren't having any more children for a while.

"You do still want more _someday_, don't you?" I inquired in curiosity and I felt her shift in my arms slightly. "Believe me, I'm not in any rush and still getting the hang of it this time around. And I love EJ more than anything in this world, right up there with you."

"And you'd like a daughter someday. Even with the risk of grey hair," Bella finished for me as I struggled to get the words out myself. I held onto her and shrugged one shoulder, kissing hers as we lay there silently for several moments. "Give me a few years. So I can go back to school and get myself a little more on my own feet as well, and for us to be a little more certain of what the future holds, and we'll talk about it. Army or no Army, no surprises next time. We can always have the device removed if we change our minds and _both_ want another baby. But I also just want time to enjoy our little boy, too. I'm totally channeling my dad right now, but it's time we'll never get back once it's gone."

I nodded against her and then lifted my head again, ghosting my fingertips over her cheek and kissing her gently. "I know. Just checking and making sure having Mini-Me in there hasn't scared you off."

Bella released a breathy laugh and shook her head. "No. He is totally worth every worship of the porcelain goddess, the heartburn, the aching back, the mood swings and crying, and even missing my husband for the last twelve weeks. And I'd gladly do it all over again…when we're ready for it."

"Sounds like a plan, beautiful," I replied, nuzzling my nose against her neck and laying my head on her chest, enjoying the last few moments of peace and quiet with her before our son would likely wake. "I really do love you, you know."

Bella's arms tightened around me and she kissed the top of my head, her nails dragging lightly through my hair. "Yes, I do. Always have. And I love you, too."


	26. Trying to Find the Balance

**Don't Ever Forget 26 ~ Trying to Find the Balance**

**BPOV**

Edward had turned out to be a really good father, just as I thought he would. He was so enamored with our son from the moment he was born, and it only grew as time passed, rather than fading with the novelty of a new baby. His involvement in taking care of EJ had surprised me, but very pleasantly. Changing diapers, taking shifts with me when the baby's cries echoed throughout the night, feeding him while I would make dinner; he never once really complained, no matter how exhausted I knew he was and never made excuses.

And EJ was definitely a daddy's boy. The way he would brighten the instant he heard Edward's voice as he came through the door. The giggles and shrieks I would hear while he interacted with his father on the couch each night. And the way he would snuggle into his dad's chest and fall asleep. It was all so endearing that it melted my heart, though I'd admit, it made me a little jealous as well.

I knew it was really stupid to feel that way over such a _good_ thing, and I _was_ glad that they shared a bond like that. It wasn't as if I didn't have my own special moments with our son as well, since I was home alone with him all day, and I tried to keep that in mind. Bath time was something that was still exclusively _my_ time with him, since it was the only thing that Edward was still terrified to do on his own. The mere thought of losing his grip on the slippery baby and EJ falling under the water sent a surge of panic through him that nothing I said seemed to quell. I could never convince him that it was highly unlikely with the angle of the baby tub and the low level of water within it. He only seemed to remember being told in health class at one point that it only took an inch of water for someone to drown, or even just inhaling enough water to disrupt breathing. His overzealous protectiveness of our child really blew my mind at times, but he insisted it was better to be over-cautious than over-confident, and I couldn't really argue with that.

What surprised me the most since giving birth to EJ, however, was the restlessness I began to feel at times. Being a mom was the best and most important job I knew I would ever have, and I really did love it, but I started feeling the itch for something more only weeks after he was born. I never said anything to Edward about it; I didn't want him to feel that I thought he wasn't providing enough for us or that parenting was something I didn't want to do. I just wasn't one of those wives who were content to simply keep house and pop out babies, while my husband was out busting his ass every day.

Besides that, I also wanted to maintain my own identity, as well as my roles as wife and mother. In the almost two years since I'd married Edward and then began to intermingle myself with the other wives as well, I'd seen and heard things that I _never_ wanted to happen in my own marriage. Infidelity was the last thing I ever worried about when it came to us; I would never want another man to touch me as only Edward ever had, and I had complete faith in his devotion to me as well. Yet, even including Emma, most of them seemed completely content to sit home, sip tea, gossip and raise babies, and that was one thing I did _not_ share in common with them and refused to conform on.

Wife and mother was great, but there was also still a Bella within me, and I never wanted to completely lose that.

I'd given occasional thought over my time there in Virginia with Edward as to what I would like to do when I finally went back to school. Then after his reenlistment, I would confess it did shift to something that would be a portable career that I could transfer almost anywhere, no matter where we lived. However, it also needed to be something I would enjoy as well.

It hit me one day while I was over at Emma's house. EJ was sound asleep in the playpen and I was sitting on the floor with Simon, the four-year-old son of one of the other wives, showing him how to draw a puppy with simple shapes. He responded so well to me, and despite his young age, he managed to follow my instruction with a fair amount of proficiency.

"Look, I did it, Miss Bella!" he exclaimed proudly, holding it up when he finished and then ran to his mother to show off his accomplishment.

I loved art and I enjoyed interacting with children—why not combine the two? Teachers or even day care providers are needed everywhere, aren't they?

So I began looking online into options for a degree in early childhood education, but still felt nervous about mentioning it to Edward. Not that I believed he would truly object, but we'd never really talked about it since we got married, and not at all since my pregnancy and the birth of our baby. I wasn't sure how much, if at all, his views had altered with all the changes in our lives, as some of my friends told me had happened with their husbands after the babies came.

And then there was the fact that I wanted to work. Edward didn't make a _lot_ of money, but we were far from struggling. I'd become an expert coupon clipper, more so since EJ was born, and my mother-in-law had been a huge help in sending me tips and recipes to keep us on a manageable budget—I really loved Esme. So I really didn't _need_ to work, especially with a still relatively new baby at home to take care of. But I sincerely _wanted_ to.

For a week, I pondered in silence, unintentionally distancing myself from him while I definitively decided what it was that I wanted, until I realized I just couldn't do it anymore. Aside from the fact that we'd agreed that we would make important decisions like that _together_ from now on, I missed him. I'd gotten the okay from my doctor to resume sexual activity, and I'd made love to my husband _once_ in an entire week.

New baby or not, after eleven weeks of abstinence, once was not enough in seven days.

I didn't _want_ to be surprised at his response to either of my aspirations, but with all I'd been bracing myself for in preparation for it, I was, nonetheless. I was so relieved, I couldn't even be convincingly mad at him for teasing me.

With the air finally cleared between us, both of our worries alleviated, that relief seemed to simmer into a deep, mutual desire for one another. It had been so long since I'd felt something that strong, and I wanted to harness and embrace it as much as I possibly could. Naturally, I'd missed him and the intimacy we hadn't been able to share in what felt like forever, and even enjoyed the shower we'd taken together and our one attempt at lovemaking.

However, my sex drive had been nothing even close to what it was in the first year of our marriage, before pregnancy and parenthood had tamed it significantly. I wanted to make my husband happy and keep him satisfied in that way, but especially since giving birth, there was very little time for even a simple touch most nights.

And I really could not bring myself to want anything in return; it was upsetting. We were far too young for our sex life to diminish like that.

Yet, the instant I felt his body over me that evening and his lips moving against mine, and then that groan rumbling in his throat when my hands slid into his back pockets, I felt a jolt of arousal for the gorgeous man I'd married that I hadn't in months. His want for me as well was obvious as he rocked his hips against me, and if he hadn't inquired about making love, I definitely would have.

I soaked in every sensation, movement, and sound shared between us, and I hadn't felt anything that intense between us in so long, it overwhelmed me. I held him tighter, kissed him deeper, unwilling to even let him go long enough to go to our bed. I wanted him, immediately.

It felt so good to want him that much again, and the moment he pressed inside me, I tensed with the sensation of it, but I needed more. Even though we were on the couch, it was still the most intimate time we'd shared together since right after we found out I was pregnant. I begged him with my body and words, guiding his motions with my hands until he took over and gave me exactly what I was aching for.

When he joined me a few short moments later, he settled his chest on mine and I winced, my breasts still tender from pumping earlier, but I wanted him to stay close to me. I hated that thing and still hadn't gotten used to it, but I knew it was necessary so that Edward could be involved in feeding our son as well.

All too soon, even after our light conversation afterward and his arms around me, I felt my mood shifting, and before I knew it, I was in tears. I'd been fighting so hard against postpartum depression after EJ's birth, determined to feel nothing but joy in our son, but there were times when it caught up with me anyway. Yet, mentioning to Edward that I was relieved that we wouldn't be having another baby for a least a few more years had a very odd and unexpected effect on him.

He _wanted_ more children, and I could see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice that as much as he loved his son, he wanted a daughter someday, too. A little girl to pamper and spoil as only a daddy could. It struck me as strange, considering that before me, he hadn't wanted children at all, especially in the Army.

EJ's birth had changed him so much; he _loved _being a dad more than I could have ever hoped for. I _could_ imagine having a house full of kids with him one day—just not quite yet. Our first child was barely two months old and my pregnancy was still wreaking havoc on me, long after it was done. And I really didn't want to think about trying to balance a job, school, and _two_ young children all at once. It was too much, for me _and_ for Edward.

And I also wanted our next child to be planned, with our lives more certain than they were at that moment.

Fortunately, it seemed that Edward and I agreed on that aspect; we would have another baby when we were _both_ ready, and enjoy our time with EJ for the next few years.

**x-x-x**

For all my anxiousness to do so, going to work for the first time proved to be harder than I thought it would be. A few weeks later, I was getting ready to leave for my first day at a small restaurant just off post when Edward got home that evening, and he paused at the sight of me.

I stood in the middle of our living room, holding EJ in my arms and bawling my eyes out. "I'm such a horrible mother."

Edward rushed over and slid his arms around both of us, kissing my forehead and rubbing my back. "You are _far_ from a horrible mother, Bella. Why would you say that?"

"How can I leave him? He's still so little and he needs his mom. What if he starts crying for me, and I'm not here for him? He's never been away from me. I can't do this, Edward," I sobbed, settling my cheek on top of my baby's head.

"That doesn't make you a bad mom, baby. It makes you a very good one," he replied and I lifted my eyes to him when he pulled away with his hands resting on my shoulders. "You can do this, and you'll be right back here with him before you know it. And until then, he'll be hanging out with his dad. I swear, there will be absolutely no parties or strippers in your absence."

I knew Edward was trying to calm me by lightening the mood, but I only cried harder, holding my son more securely to me. "It's too soon. I'm doing this too soon. I'm not ready."

"Bella, look at me," Edward said, taking my face in his hands and kissing me gently. "The first time is always going to be the hardest, whether it's now or six months from now. And you want this, even if you can't see it at the moment. It's all about taking the first step."

I nodded hesitantly and looked down to my son's little face gazing up at me. "Okay. Mommy loves you, and I'll be back just as soon as I can. It won't be long, I promise. I'll miss you every second."

"Bella," Edward murmured and I looked to him, where he was holding his hands out for our baby. "First step."

I pressed my lips to EJ's hair, rocking him back and forth. "It's so hard. I never thought it would be this hard."

"I know it is, baby. I didn't want to leave that first day, either, remember?" he asked and I released a heavy sigh.

Edward _did_ have difficulty getting out the door for the first time after our son came home. He woke early that morning to feed and hold him for a while before he had to leave, and it took me, his mother, and his grandmother to finally extract the baby from his arms and almost literally shove him out of the house. And since then, he'd adjusted to leaving in the morning, knowing we'd be there waiting for him when he got home.

Just as they would be for me.

"Okay, four hours. I can do four hours," I answered in an unconvincing, trembling voice with fresh tears flowing down my face. I shifted the baby in my arms to hand him over to Edward and stroked his soft hair with my fingers. "I just fed him so he should be good for a while. There's bottles ready in the fridge. The restaurant number is on the emergency list on the counter. Make sure he's in bed no later than eight, or he'll start getting really cranky…"

"Honey?" Edward interrupted my, bouncing EJ lightly as our son snuggled into his chest. "I'm his dad, I've done this before and we're going to be fine. Try not to worry too much, call if you need to, and have a good night."

I closed my eyes as he kissed me again and nodded, turning toward the door, only to double back one more time to press my lips to EJ's cheek.

"Say bye, Mommy. Have a good first day," Edward said in a slightly higher pitch than normal, laughing as I glared at him. "Go on, you don't want to be late. And I love you, too."

"I love you," I groaned with his teasing that I hadn't said as much to him the whole time, but chuckled as I kissed him, too. "You know that."

"And so does he. Now come on, start stepping," Edward replied, nodding toward the door and nudging me gently.

I cried all the way to work and sat in the parking lot for a couple of minutes, trying to collect myself. When I glanced into my rearview mirror, I groaned at the sight of my red swollen eyes and the dried tear tracks on my cheeks. I hurried inside to the bathroom to wash my face before I clocked in, but still garnered strange looks from the few patrons there when I emerged.

"Bella?" a soft voice spoke behind me and I turned quickly to find a tall blonde standing there, and I nodded. "Hi, I'm Heidi. I'll be training you tonight and probably for the next couple of weeks since I practically live here."

"Nice to meet you," I replied nervously and held my hand out to shake hers.

"How old is your baby?" Heidi asked and I tilted my head in question. "There's only a couple reasons for that look. A fight with your man, or leaving your baby for the first time. And you're not mad enough for the first. I was the same way when I went back to work after my first was born. My boyfriend had to physically remove me from the car when he dropped me off."

I gave a soft laugh and looked down. "Just over three months."

"Yup, that will do it. Don't worry, I promise to keep you so busy that the time will fly. Dinner rush will help," Heidi replied with an understanding smile and immediately began my training.

Time didn't exactly "fly" for the next few hours, but it didn't drag as much as I thought it would, either. Yet, the instant I was outside those doors, I was aching to be back with my husband and baby again.

"It will get easier with time," she said to me just before I left that night, and I knew she was probably right. It was just hard to see when I got home and threw my arms around Edward, and forced myself not to pick up my sleeping son from his crib and wake him.

At the same time, I felt good about getting out of the house for a few hours and feeling productive, even though it was only my first day.

"Nothing to feel bad about in that, baby," Edward reassured me as we lay in bed that night and he kissed my forehead. "I'm very proud of you, Bella. You really are an amazing woman."


	27. No TGIF for Me

**A/N: I meant to update this a few days ago, but holidays and the school breaks that accompany them are highly distracting and I forgot :( Hope those of you who celebrate had a wonderful Thanksgiving. **

**I have been asked a few times in reviews and such how many more chapters there are of this story. I have finished writing it and it is now in the process of pre-reading and editing, and after this one, there are three more full chapters and an epilogue. So as soon as the chapters are ready for posting, I will be putting them up and finally hitting complete on this story. I will definitely miss them, as I love them as much as their canon counterparts, but they have been a whole lot of fun to play with for the last few years. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me through this ride, no matter how long, and the sweet words you have left me in reviews and pms. You all make this fandom so much fun to be part of and write in. **

**So while she was pre-reading this chapter, ericastwilight was already cursing me the first page in for making her tear up, so I wanted to make sure I put in a fair warning here. This chapter was a bit difficult for me to write (and probably accounted for most of the long delay between updates lately), I just hope I've done it justice. **

**Thanks again, and hope you enjoy the update. Take care!**

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**Don't Ever Forget 27 ~ **** N****o TGIF For Me**

If there is one thing that every military spouse shares in common, it's that constant underlying fear of uncertainty and unknown. Your entire life can shift completely with a phone call or one look on your husband's face, saying that he's leaving you; not for another woman, but to answer his country's call.

For months, we'd all been watching on television and reading in the newspapers about the rising tensions and violence overseas, praying it would all sort out in time. As for me, I knew I'd gotten too comfortable, far too used to Edward being beside me when I woke up each morning, walking in the door every evening, and the last vision I saw at night before I went to sleep. I'd begun to assume that nothing would ever change and he would always be there, something Esme warned me against even before he'd enlisted. Now we were married with an almost one-year-old son, I'd started school as well as my job at the restaurant, and we'd finally gotten our lives into a routine, like any normal couple does.

It was too easy to forget at times that we _weren't_ just any couple, and it hit me like a blow to the stomach the minute he got _that_ call and gave me _that_ look.

"When?" I asked, attempting to hold myself together in front of him, while I was shattering on the inside.

"Friday," he replied and I choked on my breath—less than a week. "Bella, we knew this was a possibility."

I closed my eyes and gripped the back of the chair beside me, the only thing keeping me from falling onto the floor, as my legs felt like jello. "How long?"

"I don't know," Edward replied regretfully with a sigh, and I knew it was my reaction causing it, but I couldn't stop. "As long as I'm needed."

I nodded and tried to be understanding, but my heart was breaking. The day I had hoped would never come had arrived; Edward was leaving. Tears began flowing freely from my eyes and he crossed the room, encasing me in his arms while I cried, even as I tried to fight my way out of his embrace. "No. This isn't happening. You're not leaving me."

Edward's hold secured around my shoulders and my body caved against him, gripping him around the waist tightly.

It's strange how the reality of losing someone you love can suddenly make everything so different. His body felt fuller in my arms, his scent seemed more potent, and his voice was more irritatingly calm. I loved and needed him so intensely; I never wanted to move from that spot in our living room.

A steady succession of "ma-ma-ma" carried down the hall from EJ's room, and I took a few calming breaths and stepped back from Edward, wiping my eyes with my fingers. "Naptime's done."

Edward nodded and his hands fell, releasing me completely, and I turned to head toward our son's bedroom.

"Hey you. Did you get some good sleep?" I said as I entered with as cheerful a voice as I could muster at that moment, catching sight of my little boy standing at the rail of his crib.

EJ's smile grew and he began to sway in his excitement, and for the first time, I was literally envious of my own son. I lifted him into my arms and hugged his little body against me, trying not to cry. His innocence allowed him that happiness, totally unaware that in less than a week, his father would be boarding a plane that would send him halfway around the world. His first birthday was just a few weeks away, and his daddy would miss it. And maybe even the first steps he took on his own. Would he even remember his dad when he got back, _if_he got back?

I began to cry again, and within seconds, I felt Edward standing behind me, his lips pressed to my hair and hands running along my arms. "You would have been almost done by now."

Edward drew in a deep breath and nodded, taking hold of my waist. "I know, baby."

"This part really sucks," I added, casting a half glance back at him.

"I know that, too. But I'm not leaving tomorrow and I won't be gone forever," he whispered beside my ear and brought one of his hands up to stroke EJ's head.

"Don't you dare say that," I replied, resting my head back against his shoulder. "You know that's bad luck."

Edward wrapped his arms around both of us and kissed my temple, chuckling softly when EJ began wriggling in my hold and reaching out for his dad. He released me and held his hands out for our little boy, and I watched as he nuzzled against Edward's chest in contentment.

I couldn't figure out how he could be so calm in the face of our family being torn apart, even if only temporarily. He was talking animatedly to our son as if it was just another wake up from a nap, like he hadn't uttered the words "I'm deploying" no more than ten minutes earlier.

Edward's eyes met mine and he must have read the questions and anguish within them, because he gave me a meaningful look that stilled my heart. "I'm coming home, Bella."

Almost a year had passed since that day, and I barely felt like the same woman anymore at times. Of all the goodbyes I'd ever said to Edward, the one at the tarmac that Friday was by far the hardest. I had no idea when I would hold or kiss him again, or even look into his eyes that close. I was selfishly grateful that Edward had said goodbye to our son that morning before I dropped him off with Heidi, because I would never want EJ to see me fall apart that way, and I had both arms to wrap around my husband until he was taken away from me.

I was so lost in watching him walk toward the plane that I startled slightly when Emma came to my side and linked her hand through my arm. "They'll take care of each other, Bella."

I nodded as we watched our respective husbands marching side by side away from us. It was a small comfort to have the reassurance that they would have each other's backs, and that she and I wouldn't be going through the entire thing all on our own.

The months that passed were still hell. Juggling EJ, work, and school, all while trying everything I could to not lose my mind in the adjustment of being a single mom, was exhausting and added to the loneliness I felt every night when I would go to bed alone. I'd lie there, running my hand over his empty pillow and missing him so painfully, I cried myself to sleep every night for weeks. His scent even began slowly lessening and I took to dabbing a few fingertips of his aftershave on the pillowcase each time I washed our sheets, never allowing it to fade completely.

My dad worried about me constantly and even took some time off to come see me with Sue and the boys at the end of the summer. It was good to have him there and to see my stepmother and brothers, and I didn't feel quite as lonely for the short time they were visiting. EJ was enamored with his grandfather and found it quite amusing to reach up and tug on his mustache, and my father would only laugh. Having the boys had softened him immensely, as had the happiness he found with Sue, and he loved being a grandpa; that much was obvious. Their visit seemed far too short, however, and I found it hard to say goodbye when they left. I would miss them, and once again, it was just me and EJ.

The only relief I had was the brief, infrequent calls from Edward and occasional email, or even better, the few handwritten letters that I held onto for dear life. His hands had physically touched those pieces of paper, and in that moment, he was alive and safe enough to take the time to write them. I was surprised, however, when one of them held a picture of him and Riley, standing side by side and smiling.

EJ bounced excitedly when I showed him the photograph, taking it from my hands before I could put it into the album I had compiled for him with pictures of his dad. He carried that thing everywhere with him, always keeping Edward close to him. He slid off the couch and moved away from me quickly, waving the picture. "Dada, soder!"

I stood to chase him and retrieve it, but froze two paces away, realizing that he was walking independently for more than a couple of steps and tears sprang to my eyes. My little boy was _walking_!

"Damn it," I muttered under my breath in a frantic search for my phone, fumbling with it in my hands and trying to capture it on video. "EJ, come here. Bring the picture to Mommy."

EJ wobbled a little as he stopped, turning to look at me. He gave me a smile, and for a moment, I thought he would sit down and I would miss it.

"Bring Daddy soldier to Mommy," I repeated, keeping the phone pointed at him and holding my free hand out.

EJ's little feet stomped unsteadily as he began to turn and balanced himself, before walking toward me. He only managed a few steps and then fell back on his butt, his lip quivering as he started to cry.

I set my phone down and hurried over, lifting him from the floor and soothing him in my arms. It was the happiest moment I'd had since the day he was born, and the most elated I'd felt in months. I wanted so much to tell Edward, and I tried not to think about the fact that he'd missed it, or that even if I emailed him right then, it could be days before he'd see it. It was the only sadness I felt in such an ecstatic moment, and I knew if I dwelled on it, I would fall apart again. So instead, I called my mother-in-law after emailing the video to her and my dad.

When I finally did get to tell Edward, he said that he didn't want the video, preferring to see the real thing in person when he got home, whenever that was going to be. I tried to understand, but I wasn't in his shoes, so I couldn't. Maybe that was the difference between a mother and a father, soldier and civilian. Who really knew.

Once those first steps were taken, EJ didn't stop. Even his playpen couldn't contain him for long; he was mobile and he knew it. The only way I could get him to sit down for any length of time was during our nightly ritual of looking at Edward's pictures, listening as his father spoke to him on the phone, and watching his Daddy DVD. Edward had been afraid that our son was so young, he'd forget him by the time he got back, that he made him a video message two days before he deployed. And it hadn't left our player in the living room the entire time Edward had been gone—Disney held _nothing_ on Daddy.

Then one night, Edward managed a Skype call to us for a few minutes, and EJ had been so excited, until his father appeared on the screen. He smiled as Edward talked to him, his eyes locked on the screen, but then frowned after he reached out to touch his dad's face.

"Can you say 'hi Daddy'?" I prompted him and he shook his head, burying his face in my chest.

Edward smiled somewhat sadly when I looked back to him and apologized. "It's okay, Bella."

We chatted for a few minutes and I could see his eyes flickering in obvious glances to our son, before he told me that his time was up and had to go. "Okay, I love you."

"I love you, too, baby," Edward replied and looked to our little boy again. "I love you, EJ."

EJ turned his head to gaze at his dad, his eyes glassy with tears as Edward waved into the camera at him, which he returned silently. When the screen went black, he gazed up at me with a quivering lip. "Dada go bye?"

I brushed his hair back from his face and kissed his forehead. In the nine months since Edward left, EJ had also begun getting more vocal, putting words together in ways that still surprised me at his young age, but he had yet to talk to Edward. He'd only listened intently when his father spoke to him on the phone, nodding occasionally in response to whatever was being said. I felt bad, but Edward insisted that he didn't mind; just knowing EJ was there was enough for him. "Yes, Daddy had to go bye bye."

EJ jumped down from my lap, running into the living room and stopping in front of the television, pointing to the screen. "Dada."

I rose from my seat as well and made my way to stand behind him, turning it on and pressing play on the DVD remote. Just as he had for the first moments of the Skype call, he sat in my lap on the floor with his eyes transfixed on Edward's face. He didn't cry or hide in my chest as he had earlier, only watched and asked for 'mo' when it finished.

I didn't understand what the difference was for him, but the video of his father telling him how much he loved and missed him, and would come home to him as soon as he could, relaxed him. He laid down on the floor with the DVD on repeat for nearly two hours while I did the dishes and some homework, until I went to check on him and found him fast asleep on the rug in front of the TV.

As I settled him into his bed, I stood there for a moment and ran my hand over his dark hair with Edward's face running through my mind. "If only you could see how much your little boy misses you, Edward."

In the last week of June, Emma and I received the call we'd been waiting eleven months for—the boys were coming home the following Thursday. I grabbed EJ from the lawn and ran over to her house, meeting her on the sidewalk and we embraced in relief around our children. It was almost over. Within days, I would have my husband back home and in my arms, EJ would have his daddy, and life could be perfect again for a while.

I woke up early the morning of their arrival, heading straight for EJ's room to find him sitting up and alert, waiting for me.

"Daddy's coming home today, baby," I said with a smile so broad that my face hurt as I lifted him into my arms and pressing a firm kiss to his cheek. "You ready to see Daddy?"

EJ nodded excitedly, wriggling in my arms to be put down and hurrying over to the rocker in the corner of his room. "Sowder suit!"

"After breakfast, honey," I replied, taking the outfit from his hands and draping it over the back of the chair again.

Our son had remained relatively petite, so he was just barely fitting into the miniature uniform that Edward's grandmother had given to me at my baby shower. Emmett had fit into it at fifteen months, Edward at eighteen, and now EJ, at twenty-two, but it couldn't have been more perfect. Grandma Platt had worried that he would grow out of it before Edward returned, never losing faith that he would, and that slot at the bottom of the frame would remain empty.

It would finally be filled, as would the void in our lives that the last eleven months had held.

I spent over an hour doing my hair and makeup, wanting to look as close to perfect for Edward as I could. I'd picked out a red dress and heels to meet him in, knowing he liked the way the color contrasted with my skin, so I needed the rest of me to look just as good. My hands shook with anticipation, making the task of applying eyeliner and mascara particularly trying and I missed the mark several times. When I finally managed to apply my face to my satisfaction, I got myself and EJ dressed quickly, barely making it out the door in time. I caught sight of Emma a few doors down, struggling just as much to get a bouncing Sammy into the car, but she gazed at me with a wide smile and a thumbs up.

Yet as I stood at the tarmac holding EJ's hand and watching the large plane taxi in, my heart began pounding with an entirely different emotion, one that was the last thing I'd ever expected in that moment—fear.

I had been waiting for this day for so long, I hadn't allowed myself to think about anything but holding Edward again and our family being back together. Would he have changed, as so many soldiers do in combat? Esme had even told me that it took a while for Carlisle to acclimate and get back to normal the first time he came home from deployment, and was never _quite_ the same, either. Would EJ greet his father excitedly or retract again as he had with the webcam? And finally, how would things be with _us_? After almost a year of not being able to touch my husband, being alone and raising our son on my own, I wanted to soak him in completely, have family time with our child, and then take Edward to our bed and make love to him again. But I knew the time away had been an entirely different experience for him, and I wasn't sure what he would want on his first night home. Would he need his space? Or even still want me that way?

I had _no_ idea what to expect, and that prospect scared me.

"Where Dada?" EJ asked from beside me, standing on his toes in an effort to look through the sea of camouflage in front of us.

"We just have to wait a minute, honey. Daddy's still working," I tried to explain in a way he could understand, tightening my hold on his hand as he started tugging against me.

The uniformed men and women began to scatter as they were dismissed, in search of their loved ones, and my own eyes were scanning the crowd for mine.

"Hey, EJ," I heard from a few feet to my right and spun my head quickly, as did my son's, at the sound of a familiar voice.

"Daddy!" EJ exclaimed and pulled his hand from mine, toddling quickly toward Edward and lifting his arms to be swept into the outstretched ones of his father.

Edward groaned in what could only be described as relief and contentment as he held his son to him, kissing his hair firmly. I stood there like a fool, just staring and crying at the sight of my husband and the sound of my little boy uttering the full word "Daddy" for the first time. He hugged around his father's neck tightly until he pulled back and planted his lips on Edward's, and I didn't want to interrupt the moment, as much as I longed to feel Edward's arms around me.

"I have missed you so much, buddy," Edward said, resting his forehead against EJ's.

"Me too!" EJ replied excitedly and Edward chuckled before shifting his eyes to me.

He sighed with a smile, his gaze running over me and I felt tingles on every inch of skin he scanned. "Hello, beautiful."

"Hey, gorgeous," I answered, stepping toward him and bringing my hand to his face. "Welcome home, baby."

I'd envisioned that moment so much different, finally seeing and touching Edward again. I imagined pulling him to me and kissing him breathless, showing him exactly how much I'd missed him; never the overwhelming emotion I felt swelling within me. He was really there, alive and safe, home with us. His lips finally met mine and I whimpered against them, tears streaming down my face as I felt their warmth and softness.

"God, you look amazing," he murmured when we parted, his arm gripping around my waist and pulling me closer. "And _feel_ amazing. Damn, it's good to be home."

"Daddy, wook! Sowder suit!" EJ announced loudly, anxious for his father's attention and pointed to the name patch on his jacket. "Wike you!"

"Like me, huh?" Edward replied, shifting him on his hip as EJ nodded.

"Your grandmother wants her picture," I added and Edward looked to me, and I waved my phone at him. "Then we can go home."

Edward smiled and hoisted EJ a little higher on his waist as I stepped back, aiming my phone at them. Our son's hand circled under Edward's chin, pressing against the opposite cheek and nuzzling their faces together side by side before I captured the image. "Okay, big guy. Let Daddy put you down and grab his stuff, and we'll get out of here."

"No!" EJ whined as Edward said him down on the ground, gripping his leg with both arms.

"Edward Anthony," I said in my "mommy tone", causing EJ to look up at me. "Daddy has to pick up his things."

"Bella," Edward murmured, shaking his head as he hoisted his pack onto his shoulder with a pleading look in his eyes. "He's fine. Please?"

I nodded silently as I watched him and my heart ached a little. Simple things like that, that I had gotten accustomed to, were all still so new to him. He was also embracing the visible proof that his son hadn't forgotten him, but also that he wasn't ready to be parted from his dad yet. "He's really missed you."

"Thank you," Edward whispered so only I could hear, lifting EJ back up onto his hip and sliding his arm around my waist, pulling me to his side as we began to walk. "For making sure he remembered me. I've missed you both so much."

I pressed my lips to his, never breaking step and holding myself as close to him as possible. "Missed you, too. So much."

**x-x-x**

Whatever EJ had held back vocally with his father over the passing months, he made up for in the car ride home and all that afternoon and evening. Edward kept shooting me glances that clearly said "Am I _supposed_ to understand what he's saying? Because I don't" when our son would start babbling in that gibberish to which seasoned parents just nod and "uh-huh" in all the right places. But he was soaking in every moment, trying so hard even though it was obvious how exhausted he was.

By the time we finally got our son tired enough to sleep, Edward looked ready to do so himself. I came back out to the living room after getting EJ into bed and found my husband sprawled across the couch with his eyes closed. I was about to leave him alone, covering him over with the quilt and beginning to walk away when I felt his fingers encircle my wrist. "Where do you think _you're_ going?"

"I was going to let you sleep. We have tomorrow," I replied, leaning over to kiss his lips gently.

"If that's the case, I can sleep tomorrow, too. Come here," Edward answered with a smirk, tugging me down on top of him.

I laughed at the sudden movement until it was muffled by his lips meeting mine, causing amusement to melt into a moan of pleasure. His hand slipped beneath the skirt of my dress and ran along my thigh, gripping my hip and squeezing gently. "I thought you were tired, baby."

"I am. Exhausted, actually," Edward mumbled, tucking my body against his side and ghosting his lips over mine. "But I haven't touched you in almost a year, and I need to. I need to touch you, Bella."

I sighed contentedly as Edward lifted the quilt to cover me as well, cocooning me in his embrace and molding his lips over mine again. I ran my hand up his arm, over his shoulder and down his back, drowning in the warmth and comfort of his body against mine after so long. I felt the zipper of my dress lowering, his fingertips brushing on the newly exposed skin, and relief began settling my tense nerves.

Edward's love and desire for me hadn't changed, just as his devotion to our son hadn't, either. The important things I'd worried about were still the same; in all the ways that mattered, he was still the Edward I'd watched leave on that plane eleven months before.

"I've missed you, baby. I dreamed of this every night I was away," Edward rasped against my lips, his arms tightening around me. "Tell me I'm not dreaming this time."

I smiled and kissed him gently, shifting my body on top of his. "You're not dreaming, Edward. You're home."

"Mmm, I love you," he hummed, guiding my lips back to his and kissing me heatedly.

"I love you, too," I replied breathlessly, moaning under the intensity of the passion he was bestowing on me. "Let's go to bed, baby."

Edward grasped my hand when I rose off him, whimpering but stood from the couch to follow me down the hall to our room. We'd barely reached the bed and he lifted the shirt from his body, tossing it to the floor and lowering the straps of my dress. The instant it pooled at my feet, I was back in his arms, feeling the hard muscles of his abdomen pressing against mine. "Say you love me again."

I slid my hands between us and began unfastening his belt and pants, tugging lightly at his lower lip with my teeth and whispering, "I love you."

Edward groaned as I shoved his pants down his hips, followed by his boxers while he unhooked the clasp of my bra. "Lie down and let me look at you."

I gazed up at him, feeling his fingers slip between my breasts and tug my bra from my body. I laid back on the bed and watched his eyes take me in as he kneeled beside me and ran his fingers softly along my leg to my inner thigh. His name fell from my lips in a whisper and I shifted my hips to allow him to divest me of the last article of clothing between us, loving the reverent way he was looking at me, but needing _him_ more. He said nothing else as he crawled up my body to settle on top of me, entering me slowly.

He felt better than I remembered and it was like making love to him for the first time all over again. Every movement seemed more pronounced, his kisses deeper, and his eyes holding more love for me than ever. I couldn't touch him enough, I wanted him closer. Being without him was excruciating and something I wasn't looking forward to doing again, but it definitely made me appreciate and notice things I hadn't taken the time to in so long.

Like the tightening of his jaw with each thrust inside me. The fluttering of his lashes as his eyes closed with each brush of his lips on mine. The contractions of the muscles in his shoulders beneath my palms, the grunts rumbling in his chest when his movements intensified, the tug at my collarbone as he sucked lightly at my skin with his release. And the weighted pressure of his body on mine when he settled and relaxed on top of me.

I held him tightly in my arms, reveling in the sound and feel of his breath on my ear and the pounding of his heart against mine. I could have fallen asleep that way, completely content with my husband's body over me, but eventually, he lifted his head, kissed me gently and rolled to my side.

"I'm sorry you didn't get there, baby. Next time, I swear," he said, still attempting to catch his breath and sliding his arm around me as I curled my body against him.

"You know that's not important to me, Edward. _You_ are," I replied, pressing my lips to his chest before resting my head on his shoulder. "That's what makes it amazing."

Edward hummed against my skin as he kissed my forehead, gently squeezing my waist with his fingers. "It is so damn good to be home."


	28. Acclimation Period

**A/N: The lovely ericastwilight has been a rockstar and gotten the final chapters here preread and ready for posting, so the remainder of this story will be posted tonight. And after three years, I will be saying goodbye to my first multi chapter fan fiction, and probably the nearest and dearest Edward and Bella to my heart I have ever written. I will definitely miss them a lot. **

**To all my readers who have been so sweet and patient with me over the duration of the last three years, I am saying one more thank you very much. You have all been amazing. **

**To my military spouses who have given me so much encouragement and lovely words in reviews and pms, you are all my heroes! **

**And I know I have several readers who were not at all happy with the outcome of the story, and I want to thank you as well for sticking with me anyway. **

**And one last huge thank you to each and every member of our armed services. I can never say enough how much I appreciate you and everything you do for our country, at great sacrifice of your own and your incredible families. God bless you all.**

* * *

**Don't Ever Forget 28 ~ Acclimation Period**

**EPOV**

I'd only slept for a few hours before I woke, my internal clock still completely backwards and I tensed at my quiet surroundings. That was until I turned my head and saw the beautiful face of my wife on the pillow beside me. I lifted my hand to brush the back of my index finger over her cheek lightly and my body began to relax more. Nothing was wrong and everything was right.

I was home.

I rose carefully to use the bathroom, unable to resist the urge on the way back to stop in my son's room. I lowered myself to kneel beside his bed and rested my chin on my folded hands, just staring at him. When I'd left, he was still so small, in a crib that had been replaced recently with a small bed, crawling where he was now walking, uttering sounds that had morphed into him talking up a storm, though I could barely understand him most of the time. He'd grown so much from the tiny baby that used to fall asleep on my chest at night, and I realized that was how I'd kept him in my mind the whole time I was gone.

Watching him run to me and jump into my arms the instant he saw me that morning was the most heart-stopping and world-altering moment I'd experienced in a very long time. He squeezed his little arms around my neck with all his strength, but it felt amazing, as did hearing him squeal "Daddy!" I hadn't been expecting any of that at all, especially with the reservation he portrayed when I spoke to him on the phone and the way he withdrew when he'd seen me on the webcam. I was prepared for him to hide behind his mother's leg when I spotted him and called out his name, to be a little wary of my presence after so long away. Yet, there was none of that and I never wanted to let him go.

Then my eyes fell on Bella and my breath halted.

Damn, she was so fucking beautiful. I found it impossible to do anything but stare at her in that red dress as she stepped up in front of me and touched her hand to my face. I knew I had missed her, I just didn't realize exactly how much until I gazed into those eyes, heard her voice, and felt the warmth of her skin against mine. Then I couldn't wait a moment longer to pull her closer and kiss her, and my world felt complete. Everything I'd been fighting to come home to was right there in my arms again; my devastatingly gorgeous wife and my amazing little boy.

EJ shifted in his bed and kicked the blanket off him, pulling me from my reverie as he curled his knees underneath him and his backside rose up into the air. I chuckled and covered him back over, gently kissing his hair and trying not to wake him.

"I love you so much, little man," I whispered and then rose to leave the room and return to Bella's side.

I sat on the bed, resting back against the headboard and gazing down at her. I never thought I would miss something as trivial as watching my wife sleep so much. Listening to every breath she took and whimper she made when she shifted, catching the twitches of her lips as she dreamed. She continued to sleep peacefully for hours until my need to touch her was so strong, I couldn't hold back anymore. My fingers traced lightly through her hair, brushing back the loose strands from her cheek, and her face scrunched before she blinked three times and looked up at me. "Morning."

"Mmm, morning," she mumbled groggily, a sleepy smile touching her lips as she slid closer and rested her head on my abdomen. "What time is it? How long have you been up?"

"A little after six, and a while," I replied, running my hand along her back. "Couldn't sleep."

"You should have woken me up," Bella said as she curled her arm around me and kissed my stomach. "I definitely wouldn't have minded."

My fingers traced along her neck, causing her breath to pick up and her body to press more firmly to my side. "I was enjoying the view for a bit. It's quite beautiful."

"I've missed you _and_ your cheesy lines so much," she answered with a laugh, raising her lips to mine and kissing me languidly. She rolled onto her back, pulling me with her and sliding her arms around me, a soft moan escaping her.

"Daddy!" EJ's voice pierced through the room, causing us to jump and look down to the foot of the bed. He grasped the leg of my sleep pants, tugging roughly as Bella scrambled to make sure she was fully covered by the sheet. "Off!"

"You got up last night," Bella whispered, her eyes meeting mine.

"Why would you think that?"

"Because _I_ locked the door."

I laughed as she smirked at me while EJ rocked on the bed, still pulling at my leg before crawling toward us. "Whoa, buddy, not so fast."

EJ looked at me strangely when I caught him with my hands and lifted him into my arms when Bella gasped, his sudden movement pulling the sheet down her chest. Her shifting on the bed caught his attention again and his brow tightened.

"It's okay, baby. Mommy was just saying good morning to Daddy," Bella added calmly, sitting up with the covers tucked tight around her and pursing her lips. EJ leaned toward her in my hold, meeting them with his. "Good morning, sweetheart. You, too, Daddy."

"Good morning," I replied with a smile, bending down with EJ clinging around my neck to press my lips to hers. He began tugging at me again and I parted from my wife, watching as she raised an eyebrow at me. "Lock the door again next time. I got it."

She laughed and then looked back to our son. "See, everything is okay. Now go let Daddy change you and Mommy will be out in a minute to make pancakes."

**x-x-x**

The first full day back home with my wife and son was oddly unsettling, though I tried not to let it show. In the excitement of the day before, seeing Bella again and getting to spend time with EJ, I hadn't really "settled in". And once I tried, it felt very strange.

Even with a nearly two-year-old child running around, it was too quiet and I ended up turning on the television just for the background noise. I had no idea what to do with myself, and once EJ went down for his nap, I began looking for anything to occupy my mind and hands with. Mowing our small lawn took me all of twenty minutes. I tried reading a book, but I was too restless to sit still for that long, and everything else, Bella told me she'd already taken care of.

"Just relax, baby. You deserve it," she told me, running her hands along my arms and kissing my shoulder blade.

But how? How does one really relax when home is what feels foreign? When you have to adjust yourself to a place that holds your family?

Finally, after an hour of my thoughts racing, I told Bella I was running out for a little while and headed out to the shooting range to clear my head. For eleven long months, all I could think about was getting back home to my wife and child. I'd _yearned _for it and could hardly bear to be away from them for so long, so why couldn't I just enjoy it? Why was I calmer there at the range, gun in hand and shooting at the circles on paper, than in the quiet of my house? One would think that after nearly a year with one constantly by my side, it would be a relief to not need one.

Worse was the image burned into my memory of Bella's face before I walked out the door, contorted with worry and hurt. I'd had the chance to be alone with her for a little while as our son slept, and I couldn't remain still long enough to do it. I knew things couldn't all go back to normal overnight after the experiences of the last year, but the day before and even that morning had been amazingly close to perfect. Part of me hoped that it could have stayed that way; that we could get back to the happy family we were before. Yet my brain wouldn't shut down enough for me to even sleep for long, let alone to pretend that the time away never happened.

What the fuck was wrong with me?

I was heading back out to the car when my phone rang and it was Bella telling me she had to leave for work soon. Looking down at my watch, I saw that I'd been gone for nearly four hours and I cursed myself, telling her I was on my way.

When I walked in the door, Bella gazed at me warily as EJ sat on the floor, engrossed in the television. "Everything okay?"

I nodded and made my way over to her, kissing her gently. "Yeah, I'm sorry. Just had a lot on my mind and lost track of time."

"Want to talk about it when I get home?" she asked with her hand on my waist and I shook my head, assuring her that it was nothing to worry about. "All right. Well, he's eaten and there's a plate in the fridge for you if you're hungry. See you after work?"

"Okay. Love you," I replied, pecking her lips with mine one more time.

"I love you, too," Bella said with a measure of relief in her voice and then turned to look back at EJ. "Bye, baby. Love you. Be good for Daddy."

"'kay, bye," he called back to her, never taking his eyes off the screen.

Once the door was closed behind her and I heard the car pull out of the driveway, I ran my hand over the back of my neck and walked over to the couch, sitting down heavily. My eyes closed for a moment before I felt the cushion beside me shift and a small fingertip poke my bicep. I looked beside me to see EJ sitting there, ready to prod me again. "Hey, buddy."

"Daddy seep?" he asked, tilting his head as he gazed at me.

"No, Daddy's not sleeping. Wanna come here?" I replied, patting my lap and he watched me for a moment before nodding, climbing onto it and straddling my legs.

"Wha dat?" he inquired, poking his finger at my t-shirt where it rose over the chain around my neck.

I pulled it through my collar to show him and placed it in his palm. "Those are Daddy's dog tags. So everyone knows he's a soldier."

EJ examined them intently, turning them over and over in his hands until the chain began twisting up my chest. It still amazed me so much that he would interact with me that way. He didn't seem guarded at all with a man who'd been gone for half of his life already. Even Emmett and I took time to warm up to our father completely when he'd returned home from deployments when we were kids, and for the most part, we were old enough to understand where Dad had gone and why. I thought for sure that EJ was so young at the time, that he might end up feeling abandoned, and I was so grateful to Bella for whatever it was that she did to make it possible for him to be so comfortable with me.

I was sure that once I got accustomed to being home again, everything would be fine. And then, the proverbial bubble popped.

My moods became increasingly unpredictable at times and Bella walked around on eggshells around me in the days following. EJ began getting quite territorial with his mother, routinely putting himself between us whenever we were within touching distance. He stuck to Bella's side whenever possible, and even went so far as to say "Daddy move!" when I attempted to sit next to her at the dinner table. Yet, the moment she would leave for work or one of her night classes, he would relax around me and ask me to play or snuggle on the couch with a movie. When it was just me and him, it was fine, but it seemed that he just didn't want to share his mom after months of having her all to himself.

Then the day came for me to report to duty again for the first time since my return from deployment. Given the early hour, I'd expected EJ to be asleep still, but when I came out to the living room after my shower and getting dressed, he was wide awake and sitting on the rug. He looked up at me and began to cry, which gradually escalated to my first taste of a 'terrible two tantrum'.

EJ laid down on the floor, flailing his arms and kicking his legs, repeatedly screaming "No!" He even slapped at Bella's hands when she reached down to pick him up, and refused to say goodbye to me. Then he suddenly sat up with his teary gaze locked with mine and bellowed, "No sowder!"

No amount of reassurance that I would see him later would calm him, and Bella was baffled by his behavior.

"He's never done anything like this before," she whispered in astonishment and then glanced at me, offering me as much of a smile as she could muster before kissing me. "He'll be okay. Have a good day."

Walking out the door that day was the most difficult thing I'd done in ages. I could hear EJ's wailing from inside the house all the way out to the car and ringing in my ears for the rest of the day. I couldn't understand why my uniform had upset him so much. He'd seen me in it when I'd come home and even worn a miniature version of his own, and he'd been all smiles. It made no sense to me.

I returned home that evening and was surprised when Bella came out the front door and met me at the car. "What's wrong? Is it EJ?"

Bella sighed and shook her head, but then stopped and nodded instead. "Kinda. I think I figured out why he was so riled up this morning, I just figured he was too young for it."

"Really? I've been thinking about it all day and came up with nothing," I replied as I leaned back against the car door. "He's seen me in uniform before."

"Only once that he can really remember. And you were coming home, not walking away," Bella said, coming to stand in front of me and resting her hands on my sides. "He's been sitting in front of the television all day with that dvd. I couldn't even bribe him with going over and playing with Sammy today. I don't think he understood the difference between 'work' here, and 'work' over there. I've tried to keep it simple for him, so all I've told him is that Daddy's 'working' all this time."

"He thought I was leaving again," I answered with a heavy sigh, leaning my head back and feeling her forehead settle on my chest with her nod.

"I think so. It'll get better," Bella whispered before lifting her eyes to mine again. "He's just _really_ missed his daddy."

I nodded and she took my hand, leading me into the house where EJ was lying on the couch under a blanket. My voice sounded from the television, expressing my love for my son to him, and his gaze never left the screen. "Hey, buddy."

EJ jumped a little and his head jerked up, scrambling from beneath the fleece cover and rolling off the cushions. I crouched down as he stumbled over to me, throwing his arms around my neck and squeezing tightly, as if I'd been gone for another year.

"See, baby. I told you Daddy would be home later," Bella said gently as she knelt beside us, rubbing her hand over his back when he burrowed his face in my shoulder.

I remained there, hugging my son and listening to my words coming from the television beside us as I kissed his hair.

_Daddy is going to be far away for a while, but I will be home as soon as I can. And when I get back, I'm going to give you the biggest hug _ever_. I love you and your mommy so much, EJ. We will be together again, I promise. Don't be sad, okay?_

"Daddy fa'way," EJ mumbled, his little feet rising to hook on my sides.

"No, Daddy's not far away anymore," I replied, attempting to restrain the emotion bubbling in my chest with the sadness in his voice. "Would you like me to show you where I work sometime?"

EJ lifted his head and looked between my face and the image of it on the television a few times, and then nodded silently.

"Okay, we'll do that soon," I said, shifting him in an effort to set him down, but he held to me tighter.

"Go now," he stated firmly, his features set in a firm expression.

"We need to eat dinner, kiddo," I replied and he just shook his head.

Bella's hand rested on my shoulder and I glanced over to her. "It won't take long and it will make him feel better. It'll be here waiting for you when you get back."

I gazed at her for a moment and I could read the meaning in her eyes. Setting his mind at ease that I wasn't going far when I left for work in the morning might prevent another episode of wailing tears the following day. "Okay, let's go for a ride."

After getting him settled into his car seat, we made the short drive to just outside where I reported each day. I pulled over and got out, lifting him from the back seat and settling him on my hip.

"See that right there? That's where Daddy lines up in the morning with all the other soldiers. And over there is where we exercise so we stay big and strong," I said, pointing out each specific area as I went through some of my daily routine step by step with him.

His eyes were wide in curious wonder, and I wasn't sure how much he actually understood, but I felt the tension beginning to release from his body in my arm.

"And right over there is where I got the phone call telling me that Mommy was having you," I ended as I pointed in the direction of the mess hall, and then brought my hand back to tickle his side. He giggled, but then rested his head on my shoulder with a contented sigh. "See, Daddy's not far away anymore. I'm right here, every single day. Okay?"

"'kay," he answered softly, his fingers toying with the chain at my neck on the other side.

I set him back in the car a moment later and made our way home, both of us apparently feeling much better. I carried him into the house and set him down just inside the door, and he ran to the kitchen and hugged his mom around the leg.

"Mama no sad. Daddy dere," EJ announced excitedly, pointing out the front window.

Bella's eyes met mine and held them as she set our son into his seat at the table. "I'm not sad, baby."

I walked up behind her and rested my hands on her waist, kissing her cheek and feeling the tension in her body. She hadn't talked much about how it affected her with me being gone, but it was showing in spades with her reaction to an innocent statement from our son. However, that moment wasn't the right time to talk about it.

I glanced down to EJ, noting the stern gaze from him. "I know. I'm going over here, buddy."

He nodded satisfactorily and then began eating. Sharing Mommy would obviously take a little longer.

**x-x-x**

I lay in bed that night after kissing him goodnight, waiting for Bella to join me once she got him tucked in. When she finally did, she offered me a weak smile before closing and locking the door. She changed into her nightgown and climbed in next to me, pressing her body to my side with her head on my chest. "Bella—"

"Please don't," she cut me off in a whisper, her arm tightening around my waist. "Of course I was upset. I just thought I hid it better from him."

"Baby, don't you think we should talk about it?" I mumbled against her hair, stroking her arm gently with my hand.

"Do _you_ want to talk about your time over there?" Bella asked somewhat challengingly, tilting her head up to look at me when I tensed and shook my head. "So why should I want to?"

I let out a slow breath as I rested back against the pillow, looking up at the ceiling. "That's different, Bella. You didn't put me there, I did. That was my job. But if you bottle this up, it could become resentment."

"I don't resent you, Edward," Bella replied and pressed her fingertips to my lips before I could counter. She lifted her head to gaze down at me with a look of contemplation before speaking again. "Whatever happened over there, it won't change how I feel or the man I see when I look at you. And if I tell you what it felt like for me all that time, what is it going to do if you ever have to go back? It'll only worry you and put your focus in the wrong place."

"Not knowing could do the same thing. What I imagine might actually be worse than the reality," I said as my fingers twirled a lock of her hair at her back.

"The same could be said for me," she answered gently, her eyes searching mine.

I sighed and pulled her against me, wrapping both arms around her. "I did what any soldier does in war."

"So you were in a lot of danger?" Bella asked as her fingers traced circles on my chest. "I don't need details, just an honest yes or no."

"Sometimes," I replied vaguely and felt her nod, gripping my shoulder with her hand. "But that's what I've trained for, baby. There is no training for the wife of a soldier."

"I don't think there ever could be," she said in barely above a whisper and pressed her lips to the front of my shirt, sighing heavily as I urged her to continue. "How can you really prepare yourself for any of it? Worrying when you don't hear from your husband for days or even weeks at a time. Spending those days in dread that you'll be the next one on the list for the casualty officers. Feeling guilty for your relief when someone _else_ gets that news, and not you. And trying to hold yourself together for your child every single day so he doesn't feel the fear you do, and then falling apart at night when you go to bed alone and stare at the empty space where your husband _should_ be. Why would you want to know these things?"

Tears flowed from her eyes like a dam bursting, creating a pool of dampness on my shirt, and her arm tightened around me. I turned my face to kiss her forehead and massaged her neck. "Because you obviously needed to get it out, Bella. I don't want you to sugarcoat things with me. You never have before and I don't want you to start now."

"Then don't do it with me and pretend there's nothing wrong when there very plainly is," Bella replied and looked at me again. "I may not have been ecstatic about this life, but I chose it, too. Remember? The good, the bad and the ugly. I love you and I'm so happy that you made it home. But sometimes, you seem like you don't want to be here. And I can't help but wonder if part of you is still over there."

I shook my head and tucked her hair behind her ear. "I'm right here, Bella."

"Physically, yes. I can see you and touch you, but you're not always _here_," Bella emphasized, touching my temple with her fingers. "It's the adjustment, right? Is that all it is?"

I shifted her body on top of me and pressed a kiss to her lips, and then brought my gaze to meet hers. "Some things are harder to forget than others. You and EJ were what got me through all of it. I _want_ to be here, believe me I do. It's just not an easy transition. Sometimes, I just _can't_ relax, and it has nothing to do with you or our son. It's getting better, slowly. I know it's difficult for you, in ways I can't possibly understand because I didn't go through everything you did. It was different when I was a kid, waiting on my dad. I watched my mother, but I never really _got_ it. I was a child, not a spouse. And over there, I always knew you and EJ were safe, and that you'd stay that way until I got home. My worries were simple in comparison to yours, and I'm sorry about that. Just please don't give up on me or think for a moment that there is anywhere I would rather be than right here with my wife and son."

Bella closed her eyes as I swiped my thumb gently over her cheek, brushing away the tear tracks from her skin. "I'm not giving up, not even close. And I don't think I ever could. It's just hard not knowing if or when I should touch you. If I can talk to you, or if you just want to be left alone. Where your mind is. I knew things would be different, but I've never really felt anything like this with you before, so uncertain, you know?"

"I don't want you to ever be worried about talking to or touching me. That will never change, Bella. I'm your husband and that part isn't still catching up with the rest of me," I replied, kissing the corner of her mouth. "I'm sure everything else will settle down now with life getting back to normal."

"You mean now that you're not sitting around bored all day?" Bella asked nervously, holding her breath as she awaited my answer.

"Now that I've gone back to work, baby. There's a routine to my day again, that's all. _You_ don't even know what to do with yourself if you have no work and no school in the same day," I pointed out and she rolled her eyes, mumbling a "shut up" against my lips as I kissed her again. "I love you, Bella. And I'm very happy to be home with you."

Bella smiled and slid her arms beneath my neck, gliding her body along mine. "Me, too. I love you."


	29. Shared Moments

**Don't Ever Forget 29 ~ Shared Moments**

As Edward said, things gradually did start getting back to normal—mostly. There were still days that he seemed a bit edgy, but I saw more and more of the man I fell in love with, the father of my child, than the stranger in between.

Having Edward there for EJ's second birthday had been phenomenal, for me, but even more so for our son. For once, he was all about sticking to his dad like velcro throughout the entire party thrown by Emma, leaving my hands free to take video of the entire thing. It was amazing to see Edward smile and laugh, truly relaxing and enjoying himself, and by the end of the day, both my boys were completely exhausted.

"The hell with PT. The Army should hire a passel of two-year-olds for us to chase around. Now _that_ is a workout," Edward barely mumbled out before he closed his eyes and fell into the first full night's sleep he'd had since his return.

Edward's birthday was something entirely different. Since he came back, we hadn't gotten to spend any real time alone together, just the two of us. Between jobs, school, and being parents, there just really wasn't much of an opportunity. And with my classes done for the semester, I found I really wanted that time with him. So when Emma offered to take EJ overnight, aside from the mother's twinge in my stomach at the thought of being away from him for that long for the first time, I jumped at it and requested the night off of work as well. The evening couldn't be anything extravagant, since he would likely be tired after work and had to do so again the next day, but I was determined to make it special.

So I bought my first bottle of wine since turning twenty-one, made him a special dinner, changed into a nice dress, and lit candles around the entire house to set the mood. When he walked in that night, he halted with the door still open, taking in his surroundings before looking back at me.

"Happy birthday, baby," I said with a smile, walking toward him and brushing his lips gently with mine.

"Thank you, but uh," he replied, pausing for a moment with his eyes scanning the area again. "Where's EJ?"

"Sleepover at Emma's," I answered, pushing the door closed and wrapping my arms around his neck. "Don't sound so disappointed."

"No, no. Nothing like that. He just usually runs out here before I can even get fully inside the door. And all the candles? Hazard with our rambunctious two year old," Edward said with a chuckle, his hands settling on my waist to pull me closer. "So, it's just us tonight?"

"All night," I replied, giving him a devilish smile and kissed him firmly.

Though I missed EJ, and I could tell that Edward did as well, it was still an amazing night. We sat and talked freely over dinner, without the worries of little ears listening in, followed by a little mouth that had recently started repeating _everything_. We sipped wine and made love twice; once in the shower and the other immediately following in our bed. It was everything we needed for just one night.

We were both wide awake the next morning at five, our arms and legs still entangled with one another. My fingers traced over his chest as his moved along my shoulder for about twenty minutes before he finally spoke.

"Last night was incredible. Thank you, baby," he murmured into my hair and I tilted my head up to kiss him.

"It really was. And you're welcome."

Edward held my gaze for a moment and then brought his hand to cover mine on his chest. "It's so quiet."

I nodded and threaded our fingers together, relieved that he wasn't tensing because of the absence of noise as he had been for weeks. "I know."

"Please don't take offense. I _really_ enjoyed last night. But I miss him," Edward said nervously, giving my hand a gentle squeeze.

"None taken. I miss him, too," I replied and settled my head on his chest. "It's so strange to not have him banging on our door right about now. Demanding us to get up because he can't get in."

Edward's arm tightened around my shoulders and he kissed the top of my head. "Think it's too early to go get him?"

I laughed and heard Edward's responding chuckle rumble in his chest. "Yeah, I think so. He'll be here waiting for you when you get home tonight."

Edward gave a dramatic sigh and I playfully kicked his ankle beneath the covers. He released my hand to wrap both his arms around me and we rolled together until he was on top of me, kissing me passionately the entire time. "Well, I guess our night isn't over yet then, is it?"

I gasped and then let my breath out in a moan as he began slowly pressing inside me. It had been so long since we'd even taken the chance of having sex in the morning, as EJ rarely allowed us to move past a slightly heated kiss, as most children have the tendency to do. We never really minded, since we did have an amazing sex life regardless, but God, what a way to start the day once in a while. I hitched my leg higher on his hip when he finally filled me, our moans echoing with one another as he hit that much deeper.

Instinctively, we fought to keep quiet until we stopped, gazed at each other for a moment, and realized that for the first, and probably last, time in ages, we had no reason. Our son was not home, he was safe at Emma's, and we were completely alone to make as much noise as we wanted.

Edward grinned at me suddenly and rose onto his elbows, rocking his entire body into his thrust and my head rolled back with a deep, and loud, groan. He only growled in response and lowered his lips to my throat, sucking lightly at my skin.

I slid my arms around his back and dragged my nails along his shoulders as he drove his hips against me, more frantically than he had in a long time.

"Damn it, no!" Edward snarled as the alarm sounded beside us, reaching his hand over to slap at the clock in tandem with his movements.

Even in a moment such as that, lost as I was in the pleasure he was giving me, I couldn't help but laugh until it silenced and he sealed his lips over mine with another growl.

I loved his sounds of intense passion as much as he did mine, and I just couldn't get enough of them. I clenched around him, determined to draw as many as I could from him until we absolutely needed to get up, causing him to suck in a sharp breath and curse loudly, his hand lowering to my hip and squeezing. His pace increased, as did the grunts with his movements, rocking my body hard with the intense orgasm he triggered within me before following moments later.

His pants were heavy as he collapsed on top of me and I took a minute to run my hands over his back, listening to him breathe, and kiss along his neck until the alarm went off again. I reached over that time to shut it off completely and returned my arms around him. "Baby, we really need to get up, now."

"Don't wanna," Edward mumbled stubbornly into my shoulder. "I already worked once today."

"One more day and then it's the weekend," I replied with a chuckle, kissing his temple. "And we'll see about doing this again sometime."

**x-x-x**

We intended to do a repeat performance for my birthday, only for the entire weekend, at Emma and Riley's insistence. I had no idea how we would handle being away from EJ for that long, when one night had seemed so long.

However, we never had the chance to find out.

In early August, Edward received his orders for Fort Lewis and we would be leaving Virginia a little over a week before my birthday, and Riley had yet to receive his. I knew nothing in the Army was forever, and we'd been really fortunate to have remained in one place for so long, but the reality of it never really set in until I realized that I would be saying goodbye to the best friend I'd had since leaving Washington.

I tried hard to look at the bright side of things, as I had really lucked out. When Edward announced that he had gotten his orders, I was terrified we'd end up somewhere in Europe or something, and I thought he was kidding when he told me it was Fort Lewis. I absolutely could not be any closer to home than just outside Tacoma, and a three hour drive to Forks sure beat two or three _days_. Sure it would be temporary once again, and probably make it that much harder to leave next time, but going back home would be good. Alice and Jasper had finally decided to get married the following spring and it would be much easier to go. Edward and I would finally be able to meet our new niece; a three year old little girl that Emmett and Rosalie had absolutely fallen in love with as a foster child, and soon thereafter, began the process of adoption. Best of all, I would get to be closer to my father, Sue, and the boys, who were so big, it was difficult to remember how little they'd been once.

However, Emma and I had gone through so much in our four years at Fort Lee. She'd gotten me through my pregnancy, our children spent their first years there, we'd gone through our first deployment together, and I'd come to rely on her just as she had with me. Phone calls, emails and even Skype just didn't seem the same in comparison.

"Call me the second you get there," Emma cried as she hugged me beside our SUV while Edward buckled EJ into the back seat.

"I will. And probably at least a half dozen times before that at least," I replied, squeezing tighter before finally letting her go, feeling my husband's hand at the small of my back.

"Bye Edward and Bella," Sammy said softly from her perch on her father's hip, giving a small, sad wave. "Bye, EJ."

Edward leaned over to kiss her cheek and she took the opportunity to release her dad to hug around my husband's neck, while I said my goodbyes to Riley. "Bye, sweetheart. We'll see you again soon, I promise. Be a good girl for your mom and dad."

"Mommy, Daddy, we _go_!" EJ groaned from the back seat, waving to everyone on the sidewalk. "Bye!"

"Mr. Impatient is anxious for the road trip," Edward said with a brief chuckle and looked to me as I held a crying Sammy in my arms. "Ready?"

"No, but I never will be. So we should go," I replied and handed the little girl back to Riley, giving Emma one last embrace before getting into the vehicle, waving again as Edward closed the door behind me.

I barely noticed him getting into the driver's seat until we began to move, and the three people I'd come to think of as family became smaller and smaller until they disappeared completely. I settled into my seat fully and fastened my seatbelt, propping my head up with my arm and felt Edward take my other hand.

"It's not goodbye, Bella," he said, running his thumb along my knuckles.

"Sure as hell feels that way," I muttered, wiping my fingers beneath my eye as Edward squeezed my other hand reassuringly. "I'll be fine once we get to Washington, I'm sure. But I can be mad and hate the Army a little bit for a while. It feels like we're back at square one, starting all over again. I know 'that's the Army', but it still sucks."

"We do have a house this time, though," Edward said, glancing over to me briefly and I sighed with a nod. "I know, you can still hate the Army for a bit."

I looked at him and then leaned across the console, sliding my free hand around his elbow and resting my head on his shoulder. "I'm just going to miss them. And our house, our life, my job. Not that I'm not aching to see everyone back home, but it still hurts. I thought I'd prepared myself better than this. Guess not."

"Daddy, go faster," EJ instructed and broke the moment. I turned my head to look back at him, where he was rocking side to side in his car seat and patting his lap impatiently.

We weren't even past the gates yet and we were already getting the "Are we there yet?" looks. It was going to be a long few days.

**x-x-x**

Unpacking and settling into our new place seemed to take forever, even with Alice and Rosalie's help every other day when they would drive in from Forks. I had no idea how I would manage it every two or three years until Edward left the Army.

But it _was_ so damn good to be home.

I never imagined that I would miss the gloomy skies and rain of Washington, having despised it so much when I'd moved there from Phoenix what seemed like forever ago, but I had. The morning of my birthday, I woke up before my husband and son, made some coffee, and sat out on the front steps, inhaling the scent of the damp air.

I was looking forward to that evening after Edward got home, although it was a far cry from our original plans in Virginia. We were driving up to Forks to spend the weekend with our families, and for once, I wasn't dreading my party being thrown by the Cullens the following day. All the kids would get to spend the whole day playing together, EJ would get to see his grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins, both literal and honorary, and I couldn't wait to have some time with them all, too. It was going to be a great day.

Edward's footsteps behind me caught my attention and I glanced over to him as he sat beside me with his own mug of coffee. "Happy birthday, beautiful."

I closed my eyes when his lips pressed to my forehead and linked my arm around his. "Yes, it is. Thank you. I'm sorry I've been so moody lately."

"It's completely understandable, baby. I know the move was hard for you, no matter where we ended up," Edward replied, resting his head on mine, where it was rested on his shoulder. "But we'll get to see them over Christmas."

I nodded and hugged onto his arm tighter, a wide smile stretching across my face. Emma had called the day before to tell me that they'd gotten their plane tickets to come home for the holidays, wanting to see their families, and of course, us. It wasn't quite the same as being able to see her every day, but it was much better than nothing at all.

"We should get inside before Munchkin wakes up, if he hasn't already," Edward said, bending his arm to cover my hand with his. "And your fingers are a little cold."

I kissed his knuckles, the warmth of his touch feeling amazing as it blocked the damp morning air. "I'll be there in a minute. Just a little longer."

"Okay," he whispered, giving me a gentle kiss before rising and heading back inside.

I took another sip of my coffee and tilted my face up to bask in the mist coating my skin as it began to lightly sprinkle. Home. I was home.

**x-x-x**

After the three day drive from Virginia, I was sure three hours would be a piece of cake with EJ, and I was severely mistaken. He'd talked to my father and Esme on the phone that afternoon, and since then, he was relentless in his requests for "Pepaw" and "Mowmaw". And it continued all the way to Forks until we pulled up in front of my dad's house.

I barely had time to unbuckle him from his car seat and set him on the ground, and he took off toward my father and Sue standing at the foot of the steps. Just as I had while Edward was gone, I had kept the entire family there in Washington familiar to EJ through pictures and phone calls, since visits were difficult with us being across the country. But boy, did he love his Pepaw.

EJ was in my father's arms, hugging him tightly around the neck as Edward and I approached, and I chuckled as I looked at Sue. "Looks like I've lost my dad for the duration of the weekend."

She laughed and wished me birthday greetings, embracing me with tears misting her eyes. "It is so good to see you all. It's been way too long."

"I know. We've missed you," I replied as I gripped securely around her.

"Hey, you got one of those for your old man? I do have two arms, you know," my dad said with a chuckle from beside us and I laughed in response, turning to him and wrapping my arms around his waist. "Happy Birthday, Bells."

"Thank you, Dad," I mumbled into his chest as I curled into his one-arm embrace. "Where are the boys?"

"Their upstairs playing in their room," Sue answered from her spot at Edward's side, her hand curled around his arm. "We didn't tell them you were coming or we wouldn't have heard the end of it all night."

I smiled and looked to my son, raising an eyebrow. "Yeah, we have _no_ idea what that is like."

EJ snuggled into his grandfather's shoulder at my teasing, and murmured a soft "My Pepaw."

We all made our way inside and Sue called the boys down for a "surprise". Aiden was the first to appear and his mouth dropped open, and then ran right past me to Edward, gripping him tightly around his legs.

"Well, I know where I rank in _his_ book," I said with a heavy sigh, rustling his hair when he gazed up at me with a grin. Another set of tiny footsteps sounded on the stairs and I looked over to find Adam peeking around the banister. Aside from the hazel eyes, he had turned out to be all Swan, looking so much like my dad, as well as being quiet, reserved, and painfully shy. "Hi, honey."

Adam brought his hand up in a small wave, his eyes moving between his parents, Edward, EJ and finally, me. "Hi, Bella."

I watched as he nervously descended the last two steps at his mother's encouragement and walked over to me, raising his arms as I reached down to pick him up. It took a moment for him to respond but he gradually relaxed in my hold, though he brought two fingers to his mouth and continued to peruse his surroundings.

"He'll be fine by the party tomorrow," Sue said, stroking his back lightly when our gazes met. "You know how he is with faces he's not quite used to."

I nodded, hugging him gently and kissing his hair, carrying him to the kitchen as Sue led us in there to have a late dinner.

**x-x-x**

We arrived at the Cullen's just before eleven, and apparently, the short powernap EJ had taken in the car was enough to reenergize him once he spotted his grandparents. Edward and I greeted his parents, but then he excused himself from us to head up to bed. After working all day, the drive to Forks, and the subsequent visit with my family, he was barely able to keep his eyes open anymore. So with a final kiss and "Happy Birthday" from my husband, I watched him make his way upstairs and then turned back to my in-laws.

"Bella, if you would like to head up as well, you are more than welcome to," Esme said as she kissed my cheek while holding a bouncing EJ. "You have to be exhausted."

"No, I'm fine. It'll take a while to get him calmed down," I replied, motioning to my son.

"We'll get him to bed," Carlisle reassured me with a hug and then nodded toward the stairs. "We were parents of little boys once, too. You deserve some sleep."

"Okay. Good night, baby. Be good for Grandma and Grandpa," I said somewhat reluctantly, kissing EJ's cheek and began walking away. If I couldn't trust his grandparents with him, who _could_ I trust, right? At that thought, I turned quickly to look back at Esme. "No c-o-o-k-i-e-s before bed."

"I wouldn't dream of it, Bella," Esme replied with a chuckle and a sheepish smile, and shook her head when I sighed. "Honestly, I haven't even made any yet. Going to do that in the morning with my baby boy. Happy Birthday, Bella."

I finally got upstairs to find Edward already lightly snoring in the new bed they'd placed in his old room, and I simply shed my jeans and climbed in beside him. My eyes were closed before I even hit the pillow and I fell into a sound sleep.

**x-x-x**

The next day started off so quiet. I was the first one up and I came downstairs to find Esme sitting up on the couch with EJ on her chest, both fast asleep. I didn't want to wake them, having no idea what time she'd been up with him until, but I also knew that my mother-in-law didn't like to sleep past seven thirty on _any_ given day. Let alone when she had a party to prepare for.

How she managed to be alert so quickly after waking, I had no idea, but soon, the entire house was bustling. And by eleven, everyone I loved was surrounding me; my birthday party was like one huge family reunion.

Emmett and Rosalie's newly adopted daughter, Katie, was an absolutely doll. She was so lively and boisterous, anyone who didn't know would never have guessed that she's _wasn't_ Emmett's biological daughter, even with her full head of blazing red, curly hair. And they both looked so happy with being parents, and Rosalie practically beamed with motherly pride and love. I was beyond thrilled for them.

Sarahlynn had literally pounced Edward the moment she arrived with Alice and Jasper, and didn't leave his lap for an entire hour after we'd eaten. Even then, she was reluctant, debating heavily between staying with her godfather and "favoritest uncle in the whole wide world", and running off to play with the other kids. The last option only won out after Edward assured her that we wouldn't be leaving until the following day and pinky-promising her that he would see her before then.

I hadn't been as relaxed as I was then in a long time; talking about Alice and Jasper's wedding, all the kids, catching up on all that had happened in our time away. It felt normal and serene, like old times, as if Edward and I had never left.

It was a good feeling to know that, despite all the changes in life, some things could remain exactly the same.

Then, just as I thought the day couldn't get any better, I heard another familiar voice calling out from behind me. "You never call, never write. What, did you forget your old friends back here?"

I spun in my seat and saw Jacob standing on the porch beside Esme. I rose quickly and ran across the yard, throwing my arms around him and gave him a tight hug. "Do you always have to just appear out of nowhere without any warning?"

"Part of my charm, Bells," Jacob replied, embracing me just as firmly. "You know you love the surprise."

"From _you_, maybe," I said with a laugh, pulling back to look at him. In just the last few years, he had changed so much. Gone completely was that kid I'd met on La Push beach all those years ago, taller with broader shoulders, short cropped hair, and even the trace of scruff lining his jaw—he'd become a man. The smile, however, was _exactly_ the same. "What'd you have to go and grow up for?"

"Like you're one to talk? Old married lady with a kid and everything," Jake teased back and then looked behind me to the yard. "Where is the little guy, anyway?"

I laughed and turned around, my eyes searching for my son until they landed on him. "He's the one right there glaring at us. EJ, baby, come here."

EJ stood firmly in his spot with his arms crossed over his chest, his forehead tight and wrinkled. He craned his neck around me as I made my way over to him, his eyes never leaving Jacob.

"It's okay, honey. Come here," I said gently as I lifted him into my arms and his face contorted again when we turned to see Edward stand to shake hands with Jake. "Baby, this is Jacob, a very old friend of Mommy's. Jake, I'd like you to meet my son, EJ."

"Hey, kid. It's nice to meet you. He's adorable, you guys," Jake replied, smiling at both me and Edward.

We both thanked him, but EJ shrunk back and then reached out for his father, keeping his gaze on Jake still as he curled into Edward. I nodded when he said he would take him and give me a moment with Jake, brushing EJ's cheek with my fingers before they walked away.

"Pretty protective, huh? I gotta admit, I never really pictured Edward as a father. Suits him, though," Jake said, watching EJ settle onto Edward's lap and grip his t-shirt in his fist.

I nodded and turned back to Jake. "He's a great father, but EJ isn't usually like this. He's just not used to me hugging strange men, I guess."

"Strange men, huh?" Jake replied with a grin, nudging me with his elbow. I rolled my eyes and led him over to the steps on the porch to sit down. "So, how's married life in the Army treating you, girl? Thought you'd dropped off the planet or something."

"The phone works both ways, Jake," I said softly, pulling my jacket tightly around me and he looked down at his folded hands. "It's good, though. I mean, it definitely has its downsides, obviously. Deployments downright suck. I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy. And moving, although this one turned out pretty well. It's definitely not what I imagined my life turning out to be, but, all in all, I'm happy."

"You are?" he asked, turning his head to look at me.

"Yes, Jake. I'm very happy," I answered with a smile, shifting a little closer to him. "So, what about you? Any wedding bells or pitter patter of little feet for Mr. Jacob Black anytime soon?"

Jake laughed loudly, his smile returning, and shook his head. "Oh no. I'm still _way_ too young to be taking myself off the market just yet. Keeping my options open for now."

"Wouldn't want to be old and domesticated, huh?" I teased back and he replied with a simple "Nope" and a smirk. "I really have missed you, Jake."

"I've missed you, too. I'm glad you're back," Jake replied, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

"Mommy!" EJ yelled, sitting up straight on Edward's lap and Jake removed his hold on me.

"Come on, let's go join the party," I said and Jake shook his head.

"I actually can't stay. I've gotta get to work. Just wanted to stop by for a bit," Jake replied, standing up and shoving his hands in his pockets. "It was good to see you, Bella."

I rose from the steps and gave him one last, brief hug. "You, too. I'm only in Tacoma now. And I know where you live, so I can come kick your ass if you try being a stranger again."

"I would still love to see you try, short shit," he said, squeezing around me gently before stepping back again. "It's a day late, but Happy Birthday."

**x-x-x**

EJ sulked for days after our return to Tacoma, until Edward got home each night and then stuck to his side straight through to bedtime. It didn't ease until we sat down with him one night and tried to explain the difference between his father and Jacob, as well as we could to a two year old. I took Edward's face between my hands and gave him a gentle kiss, and then looked to our son.

"See? I _only_ kiss Daddy like that. Jake is Mommy's friend, like Riley. I hug Riley, too, right?" I explained and EJ looked at me from his seat on Edward's lap, his lips working in thought before he nodded. "I love Daddy _very_ much, okay?"

"And I love Mommy very much, too," Edward added and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me to his side and kissing the top of my head.

EJ reached out for the front of my shirt, tugging me closer as he rested his head in the middle of Edward's chest. Our faces were just shy of touching and I placed my hand on his back, rubbing gently as I pressed my lips to his forehead.

"And we both love _you_ more than anything," I added and we sat there together in the quiet, holding onto one another until EJ fell asleep.

Thankfully, things seemed to return to normal and time passed quickly. All too soon, Thanksgiving had arrived, and we'd invited my family to the house for dinner, with plans to go to the Cullen's the following day when Emmett and Rose would be there, too. Edward and my dad sat in the living room watching football while the boys played in EJ's room, and Sue and I stayed in the kitchen all morning cooking and talking.

We were just about to take the turkey out of the oven when Aiden's voice filtered in from the next room.

"Daddy, what's this? My fingers feel funny," he said and my brow creased, making my way into the living room and instantly wishing I hadn't.

Edward's face had lost all color as he sat there with wide eyes, staring at the object in my brother's hand and quickly shooting off the couch to retrieve it. However, my father had grabbed it first, reading the label and then looking sharply between me and my husband.

I could have died of mortification right at that moment as I peeked through my fingers to see the red cap of the warming lubricant from my bedside table drawer. Just the thing I'd want my _father_ to see, I thought sarcastically.

"Aiden, where did you get this?" my dad asked, his gaze locked firmly on Edward.

"Next to Bella's bed," Aiden replied with an innocent shrug. "Why? What is it?"

"Nothing. Just something of mine. And why aren't you playing in EJ's room?" I replied quickly, trying to quickly divert both the topic and my father's gaze from me.

"I dunno," Aiden responded with his arms up in the air in a dramatic show as Sue entered the living room again with a damp wash cloth to clean off his hand.

"Bella, didn't you say you needed something from the store earlier?" my father said suddenly, thrusting the small bottle against my husband's stomach with a quick glare. "Bread or cranberry sauce or something?"

"Um, no," I replied in confusion, and then sighed heavily as it dawned on me what he was doing. "Dad, seriously? This is embarrassing for me, too, but I'm a married woman, and you have a grandson to prove that something goes on—"

"Ah-di-didi-di," my dad responded, waving his hands around his ears. "Milk. We need milk for the kids. Come on, boys. Let's go for a ride."

I rolled my eyes as he got all three boys into their jackets and headed to the door. He looked at Edward, pointing to him and then toward the hall, wordlessly requesting him to hide the bottle again, before stepping outside. "He's unbelievable sometimes. What does he think? That EJ came about through immaculate conception?"

"You're still his little girl, Bella," Sue said from the kitchen as she lifted the heavy pan from the oven. "Do you really want to think about how your brothers came about, or the things he has in _his_ bedside table?"

"Oh God, _Sue_!" I shrieked, covering my ears and shaking my head sharply. "That's just…no no no. I don't need to hear or know these things about my dad."

Sue gave me a smirk and shrugged. "See, same thing."

"No, not even close. That's my _dad_. That's wrong. Just so wrong," I replied and my head spun at the sound of Edward's muffled laughter. "It's _not_ funny, Edward! She is traumatizing me for life here. I love you, Sue, but oh my _God_!"

"Baby, relax. The moment is done, everything will be fine," Edward said as he moved up behind me, resting his hands on my waist and kissing my cheek.

"I need a shower. A very hot, scalding shower. And bleach. Lots and lots of bleach for my ears, eyes and _brain_," I muttered as I began making my way to the bathroom, glaring over my shoulder at my husband when he muttered 'Like father, like daughter."

When I emerged twenty minutes later, my dad was coming back in the door with the boys and Edward right behind him. Apparently there had been a mishap at the gate, and Edward had to go out to let them all back on post. The boys seemed unfazed and ran into the kitchen with the chocolate milks my father had bought for them, but I found it difficult to look my dad in the eyes. As I finally did, there was a very odd look in them.

"Dad, I'm sorry about earlier. Really," I said and he just shook his head with tense lips. "What's wrong?"

"Did you know that I have three beautiful _grandchildren_ according to the nice lady working at the grocery store?" he answered and nodded toward the kitchen to the boys. "I'm not old enough for that yet. We're having Thanksgiving in Forks next year."

I watched Sue walk over to him and wrap her arms around his shoulders, whispering something into his ear that seemed to relax him considerably. I really was glad that my father had finally found someone, who not only loved him but understood him as very few people in the world actually could. He needed a very special woman, and he had her.

Edward and I shared a look and he gave me that smile of his that told me he knew exactly what I was thinking. It felt good to know that despite the struggles we'd had since his return, we still had our moments where we could find ourselves on the same page and read each other with same practiced ease as before. What more could I ask for?


	30. Home Is Where The Heart Is

**Don't Ever Forget 30 ~ ****Home is Where the Heart Is**

Edward and I remained at Fort Lewis for three years, with another year-long deployment in the middle of it all. EJ had turned three a few months after Edward left, and was a little more aware of his father's absence and where he'd gone, making it just a bit more rough on nights when he would cry out for Daddy, and Mommy just wouldn't do. He would want me to call Edward, and sobbed harder when I had to remind him that I couldn't.

Everything was so much different through that second deployment. Having an idea of what to expect didn't exactly make it any easier, but it helped me to cope a little better. I still missed Edward painfully and worried about him every single moment of the day until I could hear his voice and know he was safe, but I didn't find it crippling. I had my daily calls with Emma, school, EJ, but I also had the rest of my family around me as well, and it was definitely an appreciated comfort.

The hardest part was actually the two weeks before Edward came home, as they seemed to drag so much longer than the entire year before. I was anxious to see him and feel him in my arms again, for him to see EJ and how much he'd grown, but I was also beginning to worry. The last time he'd come home, he was so different, and it seemed to take forever to get back on track. And almost as soon as we had and things had gotten back to being really good, he was taken away again.

I tried to remind myself that he seemed to be in as good of spirits as could be expected whenever I talked to him, but I knew that the only true relief I'd feel would be when he was home, in front of me.

EJ was a never-ending bundle of energy in the days leading up to his dad's return, and with each passing one, he grew more anxious. Every night, he placed a sticker on the calendar beside his bed, marking one more day down until he would see Edward again before he went to sleep. We also began making numerous trips to Forks to plan the Welcome Home party that Esme and I were arranging, while EJ would sit on the living room floor with his grandparent's photo albums, going over and over pictures of his father.

"Mommy, baddoons," he said one afternoon while Esme and I were hanging up the Welcome Home banner above the entryway. "Daddy need baddoons."

"We still have two more days before we can blow up balloons, baby. We want them nice and big for Daddy, right?" I asked, looking back over my shoulder at him from the ladder.

EJ nodded with a sad sigh, his eyes falling to his lap.

"Knock knock. Anyone home?" A voice sounded from the front hall and EJ's head shot up, and then he scampered off the floor to run past me.

"Daddy?" he whispered as if he was afraid to speak too loud, and my eyes were locked on the vision in front of us as well. "Daddy!"

My hand released my end of the banner as my entire body went numb with shock, barely noticing the tear of the paper before it fluttered to the floor. Edward was standing there by the door with our son in one arm and the other wrapped around a sobbing Esme, both of them hugging him tightly.

"Hi, baby," Edward said as his eyes met mine after kissing his mother's cheek.

My legs began trembling, but I still couldn't move. It was like one of those dreams where you know you need to run but your body is too heavy to take a single step. I had been looking forward to that moment for a year, and there it was, staring me in the face, and I was frozen in my spot.

"Mommy, c'mon. It Daddy!" EJ exclaimed and waved his arm, and I gripped the metal rung of the ladder to step down.

"What are you doing here?" I finally choked out as I moved toward him, throwing my arms around him and our son and crying into his shoulder. "You said you were coming in Friday."

"Little white lie. I wanted to surprise you," he murmured into my hair and I felt his lips press to it. "I can go back, if you'd like."

"No!" EJ shrieked, gripping around Edward's neck more securely. "Daddy no go!"

Edward laughed, kissing EJ's brow and resting his cheek on top of his head. "I'm not going anywhere, buddy. Don't worry."

I brought my hand to his face, touching him and taking him in with tears streaming down my cheeks. "My God, you're really here. You're home."

"I'm home, baby," Edward whispered, lowering his lips to mine and sealing them with a firm kiss.

EJ began tugging at the collar of my t-shirt and then slid his little arm between me and Edward. "Baddoons now, Mommy."

We shared a laugh against one another at our son's demanding tone and looking to him, where he was burrowing his face into his father's neck. "We'll have balloons tomorrow, honey. I promise."

**x-x-x**

That night, we decided to stay in Forks instead of driving home, only to return the following day for the moved up party. Esme and I had been working all evening, between phone calls announcing Edward's early return and the change of plans, to get everything ready before morning while he spent time with EJ.

The only one who couldn't wait until the following day to come over was Emmett. Esme had barely gotten the words out before he said he was on his way and the line went dead.

"Where the hell is he?" he exclaimed when he came through the door less than three hours later, so we knew he had driven like a bat out of hell to get there from Seattle. The instant Edward stepped out of the living room, Emmett charged toward him. "You sneaky son of a bitch."

"Bad word!" EJ yelled, waving his finger scoldingly at his uncle.

Edward laughed when his brother engulfed him in his arms tightly, patting his back as he returned the embrace. "Good to see you, too, Emmett."

Emmett had always been the more sensitive of the two siblings, but Edward's deployments were particularly hard for him. He was so afraid of something happening to him and losing his only brother, the way they nearly lost their dad all those years ago. "If I wasn't so glad to have you home, I'd throttle you right now."

I lifted EJ into my arms as he began moving toward Edward and shook my head. "Let Uncle Emmett say hi to Daddy, baby."

He squirmed in my hold and started to whine. "Want my daddy."

Emmett pulled back and wiped his eyes on his arm while keeping the other around Edward's shoulders. "Welcome home, bro. I missed you."

**x-x-x**

After taking a quick shower while Edward said he would put EJ to bed, I walked into the Edward's old room to find him lying down with our son asleep beside him instead. He gave me a smile and shook his head when I reached down to bring EJ to his room across the hall, taking my hand instead.

"Let him stay. Just for tonight," he said in an imploring tone, tugging me gently to lie down next to them. "I've missed you both so much."

I slid closer with our little boy nestled between us and rested my hand on Edward's side. "We missed you, too. I still can't believe you're here. I wish you'd told me so that I didn't look like such a mess when you got here."

"You've never looked more beautiful, Bella. Ever," Edward replied, brushing my lips with his and pressing his forehead to mine as his eyes lowered to EJ. His fingertips traced over his dark hair, his cheek and down the line of his nose. "I can't get over how big he's gotten. He's changed so much. He's amazing, Bella."

I ran my hand along the back of Edward's arm and kissed his forehead. "He's more and more like his dad every day."

Edward's eyes pinched closed and a tear slipped from between his lids as he hugged EJ to his chest. "I don't want to miss his entire childhood."

"You won't. You're home now," I whispered, sliding my foot between his ankles.

"I've done a lot of thinking while I've been gone. And I didn't want to say anything in front of my father tonight, but," Edward paused, opening his eyes to gaze at me. "I love my job, Bella. And the Army has always meant a lot to me. All I ever wanted to do growing up was to serve my country and be just like my dad. I'm not afraid of deployments or anything else that comes along with the job. I wouldn't have signed up in the first place if I was. And part of me feels that it's where I belong, and I could be in the Army for an entire career."

"I know that, Edward. And I'm very proud of you," I assured him, my fingers lightly stroking his shoulder.

"Would you be as proud if I wasn't?" Edward asked suddenly and I gazed at him in confusion. "I don't regret enlisting at all, and I would do it again if I could go back to high school and do it over. But baby, I've seen war, and nothing has ever scared me more than _this_."

I watched his hand cup around the back of EJ's head and his thumb run back and forth along his hair. "Honey, what are you talking about?"

"How much he's changed. Missing birthdays and Christmases. His first day of school. Graduation. Our anniversaries. I'll never get those things back or be able to really make it up to either of you," Edward replied, shaking his head as he met my eyes. "I'm not my father, and that's what I've come to realize while I was gone. I'm not sure that I can do that with minimal regret. I thought I'd be able to handle it, even if I missed half his life, as long as I made the most of the time we had together. And you, I can't be away from you the way he was with my mother. And if we ever decide to have another baby, I know I can't _not_ be there."

My hand froze in its movements and I stared at him in cautious disbelief. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that there's another part of me that tells me that I've done what I set out to do, and I can be proud of that. And I still have eighteen months left on my contract, but once that is up, I've been considering not reenlisting again," he answered quietly. "What do you think?"

"You're serious," I replied in half question and half statement at the firm set of his eyes, finding it hard to even swallow as he nodded. "But Edward, this is what you always wanted. You've said it many times. You love your job and you love the Army. How can you think about giving that up?"

"Because I love you more," Edward said, lifting his hand to my cheek and touching it gently. "You and EJ mean everything to me. And even though I don't think I'll ever be able to leave the Army behind completely, there are other ways for me to serve my country other than active duty. I can still be involved as a civilian."

I watched his lips move as he spoke, every word causing my heart to pound just that much harder. I hadn't realized I was crying until his thumb brushed beneath my eye and I drew in a shaky breath. "But can you do _that_ with minimal regret?"

"Yes, I truly believe I can," he replied instantly, rising slowly from his spot on the bed and trying not to wake EJ. He only moved enough to lie back down behind me, wrapping his arms around me and our little boy. "I've gotten what I wanted. I became a soldier, and by the time I'm done, I will have given eight years to my country. But there are two other roles that are also exceedingly important to me. I'm a husband and a father, and I want to be equally as good in those roles as I have been in the Army."

I reached my hand back to cup along his jaw and guided his lips to mine, brushing them softly. "You _are_. Your son loves you so much. And so does your wife. That's never going to change, whether you serve eight years or twenty."

"I believe that, Bella. And I can't tell you how lucky I feel to have you and this little guy right here waiting at home for me," Edward replied with his lips lowering to my shoulder and his hand running over EJ's hair again. "But I want to be here for you, and for him. I can't keep doing this to you two, or my family."

"Well, we'll see where everything stands in eighteen months, okay?" I replied, kissing his forehead and then snuggling into him, enjoying the warmth of his body against my back and his arms encircling me.

I wanted to believe him, I really did. And I knew that both EJ and his brother had affected Edward powerfully that night. However, there was still a year and a half for him to change his mind again. When the intense emotion of just returning from deployment had faded some, would he feel the same? I would love and support him either way, but it was difficult for me to set my heart on anything.

"I know," he whispered against my hair and I looked back to him again, and he brushed his lips over mine. "I don't blame you for doubting this after last time."

"It's just very sudden, Edward," I replied, nestling my head back against his shoulder. "And I know you love us, but I also know how much being in the Army means to you. I can't be sure that it would be that easy for you to walk away from it."

"Bella, you don't have to explain yourself to me," Edward murmured with his hand resting on my abdomen. "Let's get some sleep. We've still got a while to think and talk about it."

**EPOV**

I knew that my hesitance to tell my father of my thoughts about leaving the Army once my contract was fulfilled played as much of a part in Bella's doubt as did the fact that I'd decided to reenlist last time. I had always wanted to make my dad proud by following in his footsteps and believed that I could do it, until I left my wife and baby behind the first time. I wanted to be a soldier and do my duty, but I missed them so damn much. I wasn't there for my son's first birthday, and I'd only been able to share a five minute phone call with Bella for our anniversary that year, and nothing at all for _her_ birthday.

At first, I thought it was just the first deployment blues, especially when I came back and had so much difficulty adjusting to being home again. I was there in body, but my mind was still overseas. I could see the toll it was taking on Bella and our marriage, and we were finally able to mend that, but I was more convinced than before that in every other way, I was meant to be a soldier.

Then came the second deployment, and I could feel the effects of it almost immediately. I was so proud of Bella; she was holding herself together so much better than the first time, but EJ was a different story entirely. Every "Daddy, come home" he uttered when I would speak to him on the phone tore my heart from my chest, and I understood less and less how my father did it for so long with _two_ boys begging him to come home. Or how he could leave his wife behind for so many years of their marriage, knowing he loved her as much as I loved Bella.

I came to realize the differences between us for the first time in my life. I was proud to wear the uniform of the United States Army, and would never change my decision to serve, even if I could go back in time and do things differently. I could no longer see myself as a career soldier anymore, though. In a way, it made me feel like a coward, but it wasn't the fighting or danger, or anything to do with the Army itself, that changed my perspective.

I wasn't the man I thought I was. My wife and son needed me just as much as I needed them. EJ's little arms squeezing around my neck with all his might when I returned drove it home just how much, and then that was compounded by my brother. I hadn't seen Emmett cry like that since we were kids. I could feel the relief that I had made it back in his embrace, but there was also the obvious fear that we might not always be that lucky, just as I could see in my mother's and Bella's tears earlier.

As much as I loved the Army and my country, I really did love my family more.

By that summer, Bella had finished her degree and she began working at a daycare, and I had my mind solidly made up I would finish my eight years and until then, look into options for school and civilian service. It was more than likely that I would finish up in Fort Lewis, which meant we wouldn't have to say goodbye to our families again, and for that, I was glad. Leaving them behind the first time had been difficult, and I definitely was not looking forward to taking our son away from his Pepaw.

Bella and I had also begun discussing the idea of having another child. EJ had started preschool, and she said that any time she heard one of the babies cry at work, her ovaries would start aching. It sounded odd to me, but I'd also never changed my mind about wanting to try for another baby since I'd first mentioned it not too long after EJ's birth. My son meant the world to me and I wouldn't trade him for anything, but I believed there was a part of every man that desired a daughter as well. Even my own father had been devastated when they'd been told that my mother shouldn't have any more children after a difficult recovery following my birth, and I knew exactly how much he loved his boys.

However, Bella didn't even want to consider having her device removed while there was still uncertainty in her mind, along with the fact that I could be deployed during her pregnancy, and I couldn't say that I disagreed with her.

I was still a year out from the end of my contract when we received a phone call from Riley and Emma, announcing that they were expecting a new baby, even with his decision to reenlist again. Bella offered them a heartfelt congratulations, but as soon as the call ended, she began rubbing the back of her neck while faced away from me—something was bothering her.

"Bella?" I said, walking up behind her and resting my hands on her waist. "What's the matter, baby?"

"Nothing. I'm fine," she replied softly and pulled my arms around her middle, holding them tight against her.

Our eyes fell on our son, where he was settled on the couch watching cartoons, and I felt her fingers trace along my forearm. "One more year. Then it will be our turn again. We're still young, we have plenty of time."

Bella didn't respond or even move for several moments, but then drew in a deep breath. "He's going to be five in May. I really don't want our kids to be too far apart, you know that. But I need to know exactly what's going to happen. I understand that you've had the same standpoint since you came back, but would that change if I came to you right now and told you I was pregnant again?"

I sighed and rested my lips on her collarbone, my eyes closing as I secured my hold around her waist. "No, it wouldn't. I have done exactly what I wanted to do, even if it wasn't for as long as I thought I would as a kid, when I envisioned my future. I told you, I want to be here with you and our kids, Bella. My decision isn't going to change."

"Tell your father," Bella said in sudden reply and I lifted my head from her shoulder, meeting her firmly set eyes with mine. "Tell Carlisle and I will have the device removed."

My hands moved to run along her sides and I felt her body deflate a little. I still had not told my father of my intent to leave the Army and it remained one of the few sources of tension between me and my wife. Once the news was out, there was no taking it back, and even though I wasn't changing my mind, I knew my actions—or moreover, the lack thereof—painted an entirely different picture for her. "When we visit over Christmas, I'll tell him. It's just not something I want to say over the phone."

"Okay," Bella replied and I could hear the lingering doubt in her tone.

I remained in my spot as she walked over to the couch to lift EJ into her arms and carrying him out of the room to get him ready for his bath. I still didn't blame her for doubting me, especially when I couldn't give her that small reassurance with a phone call. I'd had months already, since I had first discussed it with Bella, to tell him, and somehow, I'd never managed it.

I had looked up to my father throughout my entire life, modeled myself in his image from the time I was a small child. Now I was a man myself and I'd never been more different from the one I'd idolized for all of my twenty-five years. The knowledge wasn't enough to make me change my mind, but it was still a somewhat hard pill to swallow.

My stomach was in knots when we finally did head into Forks for the holidays, and I was planning to tell my father the day after Christmas. He'd noticed my odd behavior, though, and pulled me aside into his office as I was making my way down to breakfast the day after our arrival.

He was surprised by my statement, but disappointment wasn't exactly how I would have described his reaction.

"Edward, I have always been proud of you, and your brother. You've both grown into extremely good men. I have nothing to be disappointed _in_, and you have nothing to be ashamed of, either. Eight years and two tours overseas is nothing to scoff at and there is not a single thing wrong with wanting to be with your wife and son. There are more times than I could count where I wish I had done the same. I had a great career and I'm proud of that, but none of that comes without some regret. I lost so many years with your mother that I almost didn't get the chance to make up for, and I missed my boys growing up. I can't say I would want the same thing for you, son. You're actually a stronger man than I ever was. And I am _damn_ proud of that, you understand me?"

"Yes, sir," I replied with a nod, unable to think of anything else I could say to all that.

My father pushed off the edge of the desk, where he'd been resting the entire time, and closed the distance between us and pulled me into his embrace. "I _always_ love you, no matter what. Never forget that."

"I love you, too, Dad," I replied, hugging him around the waist. "Thank you."

A fist pounded on the door a moment later and we both turned our heads toward it in time to hear my son's voice shout through. "Daddy! Grampa! Mommy and Gramma said get your butts downstairs _now_!"

We both stifled chuckles in an attempt to avoid EJ overhearing, and I shook my head as I glanced over to my father. "He got his lungs from Bella."

My dad actually snorted a laugh and patted my shoulder. "If you say so, son."

He opened the door to lift his grandson into his arms, just in time to hear Emmett bellow through the house. "Hey, Mom, where's the strawberry syrup?"

"And a bit of Cullen mixed in there, too," I acquiesced at my father's raised eyebrow, before making our way down the stairs to join our family for breakfast.


	31. Epilogue

**Don't Ever Forget Epilogue**

_Five years later_

"Mom, where is he?" EJ asked, rising onto his toes on the tarmac and trying to scan over the heads of the crowd.

I shook my head, my eyes joining in his search while my arm tightened around his shoulders. At almost ten, he was nearly as tall as I was, which was honestly frightening. "I don't know, honey. I'm sure we'll find out soon enough."

"I gotta go potty," my daughter, Ashlyn, said from the other side of me.

"Just a few more minutes, baby," I replied distractedly.

"And please not on my shoulders."

I glanced beside me with a chuckle to my husband, watching as his hands rose above his head to lift our little girl down and setting her feet down on the ground. "EJ, stay with your father. I need to take your sister to the bathroom."

Just as he'd said, Edward left the Army when his contract was up and went back to school, and right around Christmas that year, we found out that I was pregnant again.

From almost the instant I saw that second line appear in the window, I was pretty close to positive that I was having a girl. Everything was so different that time around. My morning sickness was nothing worth mentioning for the first two trimesters, the baby didn't stay nestled in my pelvis, and I was craving the strangest things. Like Strawberry Rhubarb pie—I _hated_ rhubarb my entire life, but I'd never had a craving that strong, even with EJ.

Throughout my pregnancy, Edward only missed one doctor's appointment, due to a final that he absolutely could not get out of, and he was there for the ultrasound telling us that our baby was a girl. Again, unlike her brother, she seemingly had no qualms about turning and giving us a full view of her. My husband's hand tightened around mine and I turned my eyes to him when his forehead settled on my shoulder.

Once the technician left the room to allow me to change, Edward's face lifted and he pressed his lips to mine. That time, he didn't even attempt to restrain his tears of elation, but he swore he wasn't going to be one of those typical daddies with a little girl. No baseball bats or being a sucker for pouty lip.

I just nodded and went along with him for the time being. I knew damn well there was a snowball's chance in hell of that happening, if how he was with his son was _any_ indication at all. I'd become the main disciplinarian with EJ, whereas Edward had proven to be a bit more lax than I was. Which honestly surprised me, given the way he was raised himself. I didn't mind that much, though; EJ was actually a very well behaved little boy, even through his "terrible twos", and the bond he shared with his father was nothing short of remarkable.

The delivery of Ashlyn Renee Cullen was a bit more difficult than it had been with our son—a full eighteen hours more difficult. However, it was totally made worth it the instant I saw our tiny baby girl in Edward's arms and the look of complete adoration in his eyes as he gazed down at her. And watching him with both of our children once his parents brought EJ in to meet his new sister made my heart melt as I finally fell asleep.

He loved those kids so much.

As the first few months passed, Edward became even more protective of our daughter as her features grew more defined. From her pale skin and full lips that she'd inherited from me, to the brilliant jade eyes of her father once they'd darkened from the almost sky blue when she was born, and the chestnut colored hair that was just beginning to grow in, she was an absolutely beautiful little girl.

"I'm ordering a ton or two of stone," Edward said one night as he sat on the couch, feeding our daughter.

"Do I even _want_ to ask? I replied and glanced over my shoulder at him from the kitchen.

"For a tower," he answered and I rolled my eyes with a groan. "What? Our yard is big enough. And look at her, she's going to be exotic like her mother. She's not dating until she's forty."

"Honey, you're being ridiculous. She's four months old," I said as I walked over to sit beside him. "And you are _not_ locking our daughter in a tower."

"Come on. Every little girl wants to be a princess, right, sweetheart?" Edward cooed at Ashlyn, brushing her cheek with the tip of his pinky. "And if you start looking any more like your mom, Daddy is _definitely_ not letting you out of his sight, ever. No teenage boys within a mile radius of you, little girl. I do still remember how to use a gun."

"You're hopeless," I commented with a sigh, shaking my head. "'I'm not going to be one of _those_ dads, I swear, Bella.'"

Edward narrowed his eyes at me as I mimicked him, but then laughed. "Well, how was I supposed to know we'd make such pretty babies together? They've got my DNA, too, after all."

"I'm sorry, my uterus must have missed the memo that you wanted ugly ones," I retorted sarcastically and pecked his lips before I stood to check on EJ.

Edward murmured a "smartass" under his breath a second before our son flew by me to jump onto the couch beside his dad. "Careful, buddy. You don't want to shake your sister too much."

"Dad, I finished my room. Can we play Lego Battles now?" EJ asked, tugging on Edward's elbow insistently.

"EJ, what did I just say? You need to be careful around the baby," Edward replied, securing his hold on Ashlyn more.

"But Dad, you promised," EJ whined as he still tried to pull Edward's arm.

"Edward Anthony, stop it!" Edward exclaimed sternly, taking both me and our son by surprise. The jerking had startled Ashlyn and she began to cry, and he lifted her to his shoulder. "I told you, after we got your sister in bed. Now wait."

I watched as Edward stood and left the room with the baby, while EJ remained on the couch with tears welling in his eye. I made my way over to him and he flinched away when I reached out to run my hand over his hair. "Baby, Daddy didn't mean it. You could just really hurt your sister that way. You need to be gentle."

"I didn't _want_ a sister, Mom. What'd you have to have a baby for?" EJ cried, curling up on the cushion. "Now Daddy doesn't like me anymore."

"EJ, your father loves you very much. Don't ever think that he doesn't," I replied, rubbing his back to soothe him.

"He loves the baby more," EJ mumbled with a sob and flipped his body to lay his head in my lap.

"That would never, ever be true, EJ," I said softly, trying to comfort him as best I could until he fell asleep on my leg and I laid him out. I covered him over with the quilt and kissed his forehead before heading to Ashlyn's room, leaning against the door frame as I spotted Edward sitting in the rocker with his head between his hands. "I know you were worried about Ash, but was that entirely necessary?"

"I'm sorry," Edward murmured quietly and lifted his head, revealing tears streaming down his face. "I've never yelled at him like that, Bella. I don't know what came over me. I had her, I wasn't going to drop her. I didn't mean to do that."

I instantly felt terrible for coming off so harsh and I moved over to him, kneeling at his feet and resting my hands on his thighs. "Edward, even the most perfect parents lose their cool once in a while. It's just a little sibling rivalry. He had his dad all to himself for five years, and now he has to share. It was bound to happen. Don't be so hard on yourself."

"I swore I'd never yell at my kids over stupid shit. All he wanted was to play a game with me, and I snapped at him for no reason. And now, he thinks I hate him," Edward replied in a strained voice and leaned his face into my hand as I cupped his jaw. "I wanted to be a better father than that."

"You're an amazing father, Edward. He knows you don't hate him, he was just upset, that's all," I said softly and his fingers closed around my wrist, pulling me up to sit on his lap. "I think all he needs is a little uninterrupted time with you."

Edward nodded, his arms tightened my waist with his head resting on my shoulder. I sat there with him for a half an hour, holding and calming him until we both rose; me to handle a fussing Ashlyn and Edward to head out to the living room.

Once I finally got the baby settled, I made my way down the hall to join them, but stopped in the doorway. Edward was lying on the couch on his side with EJ in his arms, our son's cheek against his chest and his small fist still clenched on the fabric of his father's shirt.

I decided to leave them alone; EJ needed his father that night far more than I needed my husband.

Edward never raised his voice that way with our children again, and he didn't need to. One look from their father was more effective than anything I ever said or did. The older Ashlyn got, the more she grew to look like me, with the exception of her bright green eyes and the deep auburn highlights streaking through the ringlets of her hair. Whereas EJ was the perfect miniature of his father, despite his hazel eyes; even down to the calm, even demeanor by the time he was nine years old.

"Mommy, I'm all done!" Ashlyn called to me from inside the stall, obviously intending to inform me that I wasn't paying nearly enough attention to her. "We're gonna miss Uncle Riley!"

Emma had called me the week before in tears when she got word that Riley was returning and she was still in Washington, caring for her ailing father. She didn't feel comfortable leaving him, but also desperately wanted to be there in Utah with the children to welcome her husband home. Especially after the scare she had experienced with this past deployment, when Riley had been treated for shrapnel in the shoulder and his side after being a little too close to an explosion while on patrol. She needed to see him with her own eyes, touch him with her hands, to know that he was really all right; something I thanked God every day that I had never gone through with Edward, knowing exactly how lucky I had been. It was an impossible situation, and she didn't know what to do.

So Edward offered to take the kids down to greet their father and give Riley familiar faces to greet him when he got home, and then drive him up to see his wife as well. She'd cried even harder in gratitude, even though it would be the first time anyone other than herself would be greeting her husband with their children.

"Okay, let's go save Daddy from Sammy and the boys," I replied, adjusting her dress and helping her wash her hands, before rejoining Edward and the kids.

"They just landed," Edward said, leaning toward my ear so I could still hear his soft voice over the cheering crowd.

"Daddy, I can't see!" Ashlyn shrieked, standing in front of him and holding her arms up, until Edward lifted her up and settled her on his hip while the other three bounced in excitement around him.

I slid my hand through the crook of his elbow and leaned my head against his arm. "Do you ever miss it?"

Edward glanced down at me and my eyes met his curiously. He appeared deep in thought for a moment, but then pressed his lips to my forehead. "I can't say that I _never_ do. But there's a difference between missing it and regretting it."

"Okay, then do you ever regret it?" I asked, watching his eyes move from me, to Ashlyn, to EJ, and then back to me with a smile.

"_That_ is something I _can_ say I never do," Edward replied, sealing his lips over mine in a firm kiss. "I've got everything I want and need. All that matters is right here with me."

I smiled at his words, seeing the truth in his eyes. As we waited on the tarmac for Riley, I thought back to the day we met. At the beginning, we were anything but conventional, fighting attraction, becoming friends, eventually losing that battle to become what were now. We'd grown together, laughed together, fought and even cried together, but I couldn't think of anything more worth fighting _for_. We were best friends, lovers, and soul mates—a family.

He pressed his forehead against mine, kissing me briefly. "No regrets, Bella. Don't ever forget, I love you."


	32. Extra Scene from Chapter 25 - Daddy Duty

**A/N: While searching through my files this morning in an effort to find something that jumped out at me to write, I came across this. I know it's been many, many months since Don't Ever Forget was completed, but this was something I had intended to add on to the end ages ago, and completely forgot. **

**This was literally a "deleted scene" from Chapter 25, since it seemed to break up the flow of the chapter at the time, and then it never seemed to find a way to sneak back in and actually _fit_. But this image was so clear in my head at the time I wrote it, and I've always been a sucker for Daddywards, and Armyward was a lot of fun to write as a dad, especially at the beginning when EJ was a baby. So this isn't much, and probably completely pointless, but I wanted to post it nonetheless. **

* * *

One Saturday, I was sitting on the couch reading when the most rancid scent ever to hit my nose filtered through the house. I stood to follow it and it was coming straight from our son's bedroom.

I opened the door to find him wide awake, kicking his feet and gurgling when he saw me entering the room. "Hey, buddy. Why didn't you let Daddy know you were dirty, huh?"

EJ blew a raspberry at me and I reached down to lift him out of his crib, holding him against my chest until I looked at his sheets. They were covered in a baby-shaped mass of greenish-brown and I lifted EJ, turning him enough to see the matching substance all over his back and up into his hair, and even down his legs.

Bella. I needed Bella. _Shit_, she was at work.

I set our child down on the changing table and grabbed a wipe, trying to begin cleaning him up and get the onesie off him without hitting his face with the messy fabric. A dozen wipes or so later, and that stuff was not coming off, so I cleaned off my hand as best I could, and grabbed my phone from my pocket to text my wife.

_Bella, please call me as soon as you can._

Her ringtone sounded what seemed like ages later, even though it was, in reality, only seconds. "Edward, what's up? I'm on my break. Either way, you could have just called."

"Baby, what time do you think you'll be getting home tonight? Because I think our child just exploded."

I heard Bella literally snort with her laugh, and I could not for the life of me figure out what was so funny. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Our son is cover in sh—fecal matter. And I do mean _covered_ almost head to toe, and it is not coming off. It's like adhesive or something. It can't be natural for _this_ much to come out of a _baby_," I replied in a panic, yet Bella continued to snicker. "This isn't funny!"

"Um, honey? I don't hear him crying and he's not warm or anything, is he?" she asked and I held the phone between my shoulder and ear to use my clean hand to touch his forehead. Once I'd confirmed that he felt normal, she continued. "Then he's fine. He just started solid food this week, so his little body is adjusting. Just strip him down and put him in the tub."

My eyes widened in shock, looking down at the mess my son still was. "You want me to make him sit in this?"

"Edward, he needs to be cleaned off or he'll get a rash," she answered and I sighed heavily in response, looking back down at him. He appeared far less disturbed by the fact that he was covered in poop than I was, but I knew she was right.

However, in the months since he'd been born, I'd never given my child a bath. In truth, it scared the shit out of me. Even when Bella handed him to me after she'd given him one, there was just something about a freshly bathed baby that made them more slippery than anything I'd ever encountered. The fear of dropping him escalated, especially when he wiggled in my hold, and the idea of him slipping for my grasp in water, where his little face could go underneath for even a second, froze me in terror.

"Edward? Baby? Relax. You'll do fine," Bella said reassuringly into the phone, obviously hearing my quickening breaths. "I have complete faith in you. So, go bathe our son and I'll be home soon, okay? I love you."

"Love you, too," I mumbled back and ended the call, sliding the phone back into my pocket and glancing down at EJ. "What about you? Do _you_ have faith in your old man?"

He smiled widely at my voice and I shook my head, lifting him from the table and debating. Sitting him in the tub sounded extremely disgusting. So I carried him to the kitchen, hoping he would stand in the sink long enough with my support for me to clean him off some. Yet, even with the sprayer hose, it just did not seem to be coming off so I could sit him down without smearing crap all over our sink, and he definitely did not want to stand anymore.

With my hands braced on either side of him, I glanced down at myself. In holding my son, I'd also managed to get myself a bit covered in the sticky mess. I sighed and grabbed the towel from the counter, wrapping him in it and carrying him over to the couch. Once I set him down, I lifted my shirt off and picked him up again.

"If this gets out, I know who to blame, munchkin," I teased, walking down the hall with him to the bathroom and turned on the shower. With one arm securely around him, I unbuttoned my jeans and stepped out of them, leaving my boxers on and slipping inside the curtain.

The mist bouncing off my shoulder caused EJ to squint so I reached up to lower the nozzle unto the water pulsed against the middle of my back. He seemed to watch me in wonder as I lathered up one of his washcloths with baby bath, and started washing him from his hair all the way down his back, while never loosening my hold on him with my other arm.

"Yeah, this isn't so bad, right?" I said, shielding his face with my hand as I turned to rinse him and myself off.

I jumped as the curtain nudged open a little behind me and looked back to meet Bella's eyes, her brow raised in surprise. "I see you figured something out."

"It just… it _wasn't_ coming off, baby," I replied defensively, turning around again to face her and EJ shrieked at the sight of his mom.

"I told you I had faith in you. Need some help?" she asked, gesturing to our son.

"Nah, I'm good. We'll be out in a sec. But I would highly recommend sterilizing the kitchen before we do any dishes," I replied, wincing at the thought of the mess I'd left behind. "Oh, and the crib sheets? Biohazard. Should burn them."

Bella laughed, rolling her eyes before releasing the curtain and leaving the bathroom.

I stepped out of the shower a moment later, somehow managing to get a towel around both myself and my son before I heard Bella loudly exclaim, "Oh my God, _Edward_!"


End file.
